Mark Lee Angst - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

😭🙌🏽 this was hilarious actually 🤣 the quarrel between haechan and renjun 💀 had me dead. 🧍🏽‍♀️and I'd kill for a guy to message me like that 😭😩 #markontop

Just the norm

Pairing :- Mark Lee x Fem!reader

Summary :- Just some college kids being college kids.

Genre :- College students, comedy (because I’m nice like that), fluff (you tell me), acquaintances to friends, flirty-ish, ass whooping, cringe alert (sry)

Wc :- 1.3k 

WARNING :- cursing. It’s never a peaceful day with the haechan & renjun, reader wanted the smoke, and jeno just being the peacemaker because he can. 

Notes :- THANK YOU FOR 100 NOTES ON MY LATEST BOOK kutabare starring Jeno T-T. I WROTE THIS, sry i wrote this in the spawn of the moment because why not, you either enjoy it or you don’t, but once again thank you for the love, don't be afraid to talk with me and send in some ask, I’m open. But anyways enjoy my crack cringe short story, LIKE, FOLLOW & REBLOG. 

🦹

“HAECHAN, GIVE IT BACK!,” you yelled as you leap forward to grab the nuisance by his light brown hair.

“Bring back what?!” Haechan asked as he stood on the other side of the table. “I have nothing that belongs to you,” 

“Haecha- ugh, RENJUN!” you called out to Renjun who’s busied himself with his phone on the other side of the classroom, with his legs crossed elegantly. “Haechan give her back whatever you stole from her,” Renjun ordered as he kept his attention on his phone.

Haechan snarled at you as he handed you back your phone, and pouted as he plopped himself at his desk.

“I always knew you were a lil bitch,” you stick your tongue out playfully at Haechan as you took your phone from his hands. 

“What'd you say you strumpet-” he was interrupted as Jeno entered the classroom.

“What’s with all the noise I was hearing outside?” Jeno questioned as he placed his barrel bag on your desk. “You two fighting again?” Jeno looked at both you and Haechan unimpressed.

“They’ve been at each other throats since this mornin-” Renjun was the second victim of being interrupted by someone.  

“There wouldn’t have been an issue today if he wouldn’t stick his nose out in other people's busine-” Haechan interrupted you as he jumped out of his seat, slamming both of his palms on your desk startling Jeno.

“Well, I’m sorry for wanting to know who has my dearest friend all smiley and shit!” He nearly gagged at the scene he witnessed this morning. “Who possessed you, babe?” Haechan looked at you worriedly as he reached out to check your temperature.

“Renjun whatcha doing after school?,” Jeno peered over you and Haechan getting into a brawl, completely ignoring you two as if it was a normal day.

“Mark asked me to help him with something so I’m probably going to his house,” Renjun told Jeno as he went into his bag searching for a snack. You halted yourself as you let go of Haechan’s neck, dusting your pants as you got up from the floor, kicking him in his ass before you walk over to Renjun.

“Want me to tag along, Junnie?” You sat on Renjun’s table and tried to muster your most irresistible puppy eyes.

“Look who’s the little bitc-” Haechan got slapped at the back of the head by Jeno as he struggled to get up from the floor. 

Renjun put his attention back on you. “Why you wanna tag along, don’t you have somewhere to be after school,” Renjun asks pushing more of a reaction out of you, even though he has an idea of your motives to join him and Mark.

“Well.. not anymore, I don’t really have to be there, the team will do fine without me for one day,” you reassure him, even though you’re kind of rethinking if your basketball team has that level of independence.

“They’ll be fine,” You brushed him off as you took a bite of the snack he handed to you.

“So who were you messaging this morning to have Haechan nearly puke everywhere?” Renjun questioned you as if he didn’t know.

“No one really,” You stuffed a handful of the chips in your mouth. “Jst marlk,” you were able to get out, thinking no one would be able to understand. Until.

“MARK? MARK FUCKING LEE,” Haechan pushed Renjun out of his seat as he planted himself in front of you in Renjun's abandoned chair. “Lee Minhyung has you smiling like that?!,” Haechan looks at you in concern and disgust.

“What’s so wrong with Mark?” Jeno joined in as he held Renjun back from pouncing on Haechan. “Calm down Renjun, calm down,” He gently stroked Renjun's hair and went over to flick Haechan’s forehead.

“Well for starters,” Haechan rubbed his red forehead. “He’s a total wimp that just smells bad and too uptight, AND HE CHEATS!” 

“You’re just mad because he beat you in badminton,” Renjun rolled his eyes whilst taking a seat next to you on his desk. 

“And because he beat you in Mario cart,” Jeno added as he propped by the window.

“And because he-” you stopped speaking when Haechan started to dramatically flop in his chair.

“Okay! Okay, I get it, I’m a jealous trainwreck, I can't help my competitiveness” he pulled out his white handkerchief and surrendered. Everyone chuckled at him until their attention was taken by the devil himself.

“Hey Mark,” Jeno got up and bro hugged Mark who reluctantly accepted the gesture.

“Hey,” Mark muttered looking quite tired as he went to take his seat at the back of the class. 

“You see what I mean? A total wimp, didn’t even greet us” Haechan loudly whispered as he watched Mark place his headphones on his head. Jeno went over the speak with Mark, leaving Haechan to ramble.

“I don’t think you should be talking considering your mom has to wash your underwear at your big age, and he looks tired” You retorted, gazing at Jeno and Mark wondering what Jeno was talking about.

“Well since you’re obviously so smitten by him why don’t you go over and talk with him?” Haechan challenges you as he looks at you expectedly. 

Renjun brushed him off “You didn’t have the balls to talk to youR crush face to face, all I saw was shriveled nuts,”. You burst out in laughter gaining the attention of the two boys at the back.

“You know what I’m not even going to waste my time with you,” Haechan glared at Renjun. 

“The only action you’re getting is from that hole in your pillow, you prude,” Haechan spat out as Renjun gasped at his words.

 “It wouldn’t be that way if you’d let your mom visit me mor- AH!” Renjun got up from his desk and ran towards the classroom door with Haechan trailing behind him screaming how he’d skin him alive. 

You sat there with your arms crossed, knowing after they’d had their little fight they’d probably leave the compound goofing around to only return until their next class. You watch as Jeno and Mark are still in deep conversation about god knows what, so you get up go back to your table, and take out your phone preparing to play a mobile game until lunch is finished. 

After five minutes of playing Roblox, you see you got a text from someone.

Marknificent 🦹: So no greetings when I arrived?

You quickly open the message, instantly thinking back and realizing you indeed didn't greet him, not that it was unpurpose.

You: I should be asking you the same thing 🤨

Marknificent 🦹: Touche

Marknificent 🦹: What ya doing?

You looked behind you to see him still engaging in conversation with Jeno, well he’s mostly listening but anyway.

You: I’m actually on the toilet 💀

You: Taking a fat shit

Marknificent 🦹: ew wft dude 😭 😂

Marknificent 🦹: Well I’m popping a huge pimple on my ass rn 

You let out a snorted laugh to look back and see Mark looking away from Jeno, smiling trying to hold his laughter.

You: Are you having a serious conversation rn?

Marknificent 🦹: Yes 🧍🏻

You: So why are you texting me?

Marknificent 🦹: Well I’ve noticed we don’t really talk much in person because we’re always interrupted, so why not cheat the system?

 You: That’s not nice bro ☠️

Marknificent 🦹: He’s too deep in his story to even notice

Marknificent 🦹: Plus ima pro at multitaskin, no lies detected.

You: Im intrigued 

Marknificent 🦹: Well I asked renjun to help me with something at my place

Marknificent 🦹: You could tag along and 

Marknificent 🦹: MAYBE, i’ll show you first hand (pun intended)

You: what was the joke? 💀

You: Boy-

You: what ya mean by that? 😏

Marknificent 🦹: I shall not tell ☝️

Marknificent 🦹: You have to be there to find out 🧍🏻

You: Aaaaand what if I’m not there Mark lee

Marknificent 🦹: Well Albert, Ig you’ll never know

You: Albert 🧍‍♀️, really? 👩‍🦯

You logged out

The Pull of You

Brace yourselves, guys – this shit’s heavy. I wrote this during a moment of depression, so expect heavy themes here. 

This piece is connected to Conflicted, so if you want to know what happens after that, then click that link below.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: The aftermath of Essie’s affair with Jaehyun complicates her dynamic with her house mates, most especially her boyfriend Johnny. That’s already a given, but how do they resolve this? Or will they ever do? 

POV: 3rd person. 

Word count: 3,000 + words 

Warning: Aside from the drama and angst this piece exudes, there is also a mention of cutting here. Please don’t do it, kids. Don’t be like who’s still trying to recover from it. And of course, smoking again if you’re sensitive to it. 

Recommended listening: If you concluded that I’ll recommend The National here, then you are correct. I listened to ‘The Pull of You’ and ‘You Have Your Soul With You’ repeatedly while writing this. Lyrics from the song are in bold and italic. 

–––

The affair ruined her. Essie slowly descended into madness, her conscience guilty, and her thoughts spiraling out of control with a million thoughts.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t afford to see Jaehyun behind Johnny’s back. It lasted for a week, and she had to tell her lover that she had to end this.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can continue this anymore,” she sobbed, “I want to love you both, but I can only love one of you. I should only love one of you.”

“I know, mon amour. I understand,” was Jaehyun’s reply as he rubbed her back. “I know this wasn’t meant to last long, I know that you love him more than me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I really am. Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been,” she sobbed even harder this time.

Jaehyun spent the whole afternoon comforting her and gave her his last kiss before they went their separate ways. “I have no regrets, I am happy that we became together for a moment,” he whispered.

Essie didn’t reply, she was already a mess that couldn’t be fixed.

\\\

In the next few weeks, Johnny noticed that his girlfriend wasn’t acting her usual self. She didn’t talk to him that much and was always holed up in her room.

Although he did his best to be the most caring and patient boyfriend a girl could ever have, Essie wasn’t responding to any of his sweet gestures. He hadn’t heard her speak more than a few words. She didn’t even greet him or say thanks.

As much as he wanted to confront her, he knew that he couldn’t handle the sight of her crumbling in front of him. He let her be for the moment, hoping for the day that she will be back to her usual jolly self.

However, he felt hurt when he saw her conversing with Mark. She looked fine as he saw them talking in her bedroom, as there was a small space open in her door that he could peek through. The younger guy was listening intently to her story, and he observed how she was more animated compared to the past few weeks.

When Johnny saw Mark emerge out of Essie’s bedroom, he wasn’t able to ask his other housemate what he was doing there. Mark walked away with his head bowed, as if he was avoiding any conversation with his hyung. This left Johnny standing on the hallway with his mouth agape, his eyes fixated on the closed door of his girlfriend’s room.

What could have he done to deserve this?

\\\

Mark felt conflicted about the stories that his dear Essie noona told him. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to listen to this kind of story, but he had to now that she and her boyfriend weren’t on speaking terms lately.

Essie told Mark of her affair with Jaehyun. It only lasted for a week, but she felt horrible that she was able to do it. She never expected that she would end up like her father. She should not tolerate cheating since that was what tore her family apart.

“I love them both, Mark,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “but I don’t know how I can tell John about this. I don’t know what to do if he leaves me. And I don’t know if I can pursue a relationship with Jaehyun further now.”

He just held her hand and squeezed it, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry if I told you this, but I needed someone to talk to. This might be a lot for you to process, but what do you think I should do?”

When he saw how wrecked she looked, his heart ached. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t know,” were the only words he said before Essie cried for the hundredth time that week.

\\\

Essie didn’t come out of her room the whole day. That worried Johnny because even if they weren’t on speaking terms, she still slipped out of her room to eat (lately it’s only once a day) or use the bathroom.

It was already late in the evening, and the itch to confront her resurfaced. He took a deep breath and walked toward the landing where his keys were. He had the key to all of the rooms, hers included. It was time to take action.

He opened the door to her room and saw her bundled in her comforter. He almost dropped his phone when he noticed that there were bloodstains on it.

He rushed to her side and saw that the blood came from her wrists. They were still bleeding. He extracted a pair of scissors on her bed and threw it away. She had hurt herself.

“Maaaaark!” He shouted, trying not to let panic get to him. “Mark Lee, come here immediately, please!”

The younger guy peeked into Essie’s room and was shocked to see the bloodied comforter. “I’ll call 911,” he said, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket to call the hotline.

Johnny unwrapped Essie from her beddings and examined the wounds she created. They were a bit fresh, and they still bled. He noticed that she wasn’t breathing regularly anymore.

He was crying throughout the ordeal – the medical staff had to calm him down, and Mark had to step up to take care of the situation.

He didn’t know why Essie ended up like this. She wasn’t talking to him for weeks. He gave her space, and he tried his best not to be mad at her. He was a kind, understanding, and caring partner. But she was being selfish, and it broke his heart day by day.

Now, he might lose her because he wasn’t strong enough to break her walls.

Is this how I lose it? Everything at once?

\\\

Essie’s thoughts continued to consume her.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

I have been a bad partner.

I have become like my father.

I am a whore, a slut, a bitch, or any derogatory names you could call me.

I am not worthy of Johnny’s love, nor Jaehyun’s.

I am the most selfish person on this planet.

I deserve to die.

She had no energy to get out of bed or even eat properly. She only had one meal a day, the portions becoming smaller each day. The last thing she ate was a single cracker.

As she buried herself deeper into her sheets, the desire to cut returned. Wordlessly, she got up from the bed and grabbed the nearest scissors she could find.

She shut her eyes and dragged it across her wrist first to see if it was sharp enough. She saw thin lines etched onto her skin, with one of them oozing a prick of blood.

She tried again, this time harder and slower. She let out a small grunt as she felt the metal digging into her skin. She felt the blood gush out, which was both a painful yet wonderful experience. She did it again to her other wrist albeit shakily, for the blood was making her lose her control.

They were thick gashes on each wrist, and she gave a faint smile at her work.

I wish all these thoughts would stop now, she thought as she closed her eyes. She felt faint, which she hoped would lead to her losing her conscience until she never gets it back.

\\\

When Essie opened her eyes, she was at the hospital. It was a sight she never thought she’d see or experience. There were bandages on her wrists, and she felt a twinge of pain when she tried to move her hands.

“You’re awake,” a voice beside her croaked. It was Johnny, who looked worse for wear. She tried to say anything, but her mouth was too dry. She settled on looking at him instead, observing the dark bags under his eyes and his messy hair.

“Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Water?” Another shake. “Come on, baby, please,” he said, on the verge of tears.

She could only stare at him, her mind still processing everything that happened for the past few weeks.

“Why won’t you talk to me still? What did I do? I want to know if I hurt you in any way, so I know how I could make it up to you,” he started, tears falling from his eyes.

“You’ve been talking to Mark, but not me. Are you hiding something from me?”

Those words made her heart pound loudly against her chest, and she tried not to break from her poker face.

“Baby, whatever it is, please. Let me know. I’ll understand. Whatever you did, I’ll forgive you. Just talk to me.”

Still, Essie would not budge. She just stared at him crying, unable to say anything for fear of him breaking further than her.

I cheated, John. With your best friend. I’m sorry.

A tear slipped from her eye, which Johnny didn’t notice as he continued to weep in front of her.

There was a knock on the door, but that didn’t stop him from crying. The door creaked open, revealing Mark in his trademark baseball cap.

He was about to say anything but noticed that his hyung was close to bawling.

“I guess I’ll be back later,” he mumbled, about to close the door. That was when Essie found her voice back, even if it was hoarser than usual. “Mark,” she started, “please stay.”

The younger guy was surprised at this, and he re-entered the room. Johnny’s eyes widened that his girlfriend wanted to talk to his other roommate instead of him.

“Sorry, Johnny hyung, but can you excuse us for a second?” Mark whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

“I can’t believe this,” Johnny muttered, glaring at his housemates for a second before storming out of the room.

He went out of the hospital to calm himself down, and for the first time in ages, he lighted a stick.

\\\

Everything came back to her once she started speaking to Mark. The younger guy updated her on what happened, and he saw how her face was coming back to life with various expressions. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth frowned, and her eyes expressed the most emotion of them all.

“Mark, I still don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to him, not like this,” she murmured, looking at her bandaged wrists.

“You have to now, Essie noona. Please. It’s breaking him too. If you don’t want him to leave, you have to do it,” he said, softly tapping her arm.

She cried again, and Mark took this opportunity to excuse himself and find Johnny so the lovers could finally talk.

\\\

It took Mark an hour to find his hyung. He tried calling, but he wouldn’t answer. He had to resort to calling their other friends. Eventually, he found him through Yuta. “He’s at that coffee house with the nice smoking area,” the Japanese guy said before he hung up.

It was the place that he went to with his girlfriend. Mark knew that Essie smoked, but she was trying to cut it down. He didn’t know if she had quit, but that didn’t matter now.

As he went to the smoking area, he saw Johnny blowing a smoke ring. “Johnny hyung,” he approached the guy carefully, afraid that he might hurt him due to what he witnessed earlier.

“Mark,” the older guy said harshly and even blew smoke at his face. “What brings you here?”

“I’m taking you back to the hospital. She needs you now,” he took a seat beside him and twiddled his thumbs out of nervousness.

“What makes you think she needs me? She only talks to you now! Tell me,” Johnny said as he put out the cigarette, “are you two in a secret relationship?”

Mark shook his head vigorously. “No, hyung. She already made her choice when she decided to be in a relationship with you. I will never do that to you, to her, or anyone.” His voice was firm.

“Then, why is she talking only to you? I’m always here for her. Mark, please tell me, what’s wrong? Why isn’t she talking to me?” The older guy was in tears again, his sadness and frustration about the situation coming up again.

“It’d be best that she explain it, to be honest. I don’t even know what to say,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Please, Johnny hyung. Have a bit more patience. She’ll talk.”

“I’m doing the best that I could, Mark Lee. I hope I still have some patience in me left,” were Johnny’s last words before he went back to the hospital.

\\\

“Baby, you said you needed to talk to me?”

The six-footer was now seated beside his love, who looked more alive than he saw her earlier. She nodded, opening her palm and moving it toward his direction.

He took this as a cue to hold her hand, which he did. He was gentle in picking it up, slowly slipping in his fingers in between hers.

“Can you tell me why you hurt yourself? Can you tell me everything why you haven’t been talking to me in ages?” His voice cracked as he asked.

“I…I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I really am. I am truly, deeply sorry.”

“I know it’s easy to say I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can accept it just yet. You really hurt me,” Johnny’s grip tightened. “But I know you still have a lot to explain. Can you start?”

She looked at him with teary eyes, slowly untangling her hand from him. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know if she could say what she has practiced in her mind while she was waiting for him to return.

I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.

///

It took some time for Essie and Johnny to repair their relationship. She wasn’t able to tell him what she really wanted to say when she was at the hospital. They just held hands and cried.

Once she was discharged, Johnny was hands-on in taking care of her. He didn’t leave her alone – he accompanied her to the bathroom, he slept beside her, and he was there for her when she had to go out of the house.

In one instance, they had to return to the hospital for a follow-up check-up and an appointment with the psychiatrist. They held hands as they went to the car silently. Essie didn’t talk that much, and if she did, she only gave single statements.

Johnny’s patience was wearing thin, but he prayed that the Lord give him more. He didn’t want to lose the love of his life, even if she still hasn’t told him everything yet.

From all the things that she said, he only knew that she was apologetic for everything.

Something's leaving me behind

It's just a feeling in my mind

\\\

It was during their ride to the hospital that Essie finally cracked.

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” she wept, looking away from him.

It had started raining outside, and they were stuck in traffic.

“I already forgive you for that,” he squeezed her hand. “Stop apologizing so much. I got it.” He bent forward to look at her face in the car window and saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

“It’s more than what you think, John. I really am sorry.”

He let go of her clammy hand and placed it on the steering wheel. Could it be?

A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car. They weren’t listening to any of their playlists lately. Music took a backseat in their lives as Johnny was intent to fix things with Essie.

“Who did you do it with?” His tone was serious, making the hairs on the back of Essie’s neck stand up.

“Jay,” she whispered as she sat up straight. “It was Jay.” She repeated with certainty.

“Jeong Jaehyun,” Johnny growled his best friend’s name. It made sense to him now. No wonder he wasn’t talking to him despite leaving multiple voice calls and private messages. “How dare he do this to me? But how could you too, Essie?” The instant change of tone of his voice made her heart ache.

It was one of the most painful things that she heard him say, along with the pleas that he said when she was at the hospital.

“I’m really sorry, John. There are no excuses for what I did. I gave in to temptation when I could’ve avoided it…” Essie’s voice cracked at each word she said, and she was in tears again.

“How long did it last?” Johnny’s question cut through her like a knife. He wasn’t dilly-dallying around.

“For a week. I couldn’t take it anymore…” She distracted herself by studying her hands since she didn’t want to cry all day. She knew she would cry more during her appointment with the psychiatrist.

“Essie…” He breathed, his eyes intent on the traffic sign. It was still red, and he was wishing that it would change to green.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. My sincerest apologies. I am remorseful for what I did. Please forgive me more for what I have done,” she said, taking a glance at his face.

Even if it pained her to see his reaction, she had to know how he felt.

He had an inscrutable expression as he continued to drive. Of course, it hurt him that his best friends cheated on him. Jeong Jaehyun, a man he considered his brother, had an affair with the woman he wanted to marry and have a family with.

He had to right to be angry about this. But he didn’t feel it right now. Instead, he felt defeated. Deflated. Depressed.

His love for Essie was too much that he wanted her to get better soon so they could fix their lives together.

Processing anger can take a toll on someone, and he didn’t want to feel that just yet. He would get angry later on. That could wait.

He took a look at Essie, who has now fallen asleep. He gave her a small smile before focusing his attention back on the road.

We're connected by a thread

If we ever get far apart

I'll still feel the pull of you

–––

FIN

P.S. I hope you didn’t make a drinking game out of all the times I mentioned hyung here!

The Dream Synopsis

Sometimes, you write with a goal in mind, and then it ends up in a way you didn’t expect it to. Does anyone have a similar, if not the same, experience? 

Let me know through the comments! 

Anyway, here’s Johnny looking like he stepped out of my dream in this GIF. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This was supposed to be a sweet and fluffy Johnny and Essie piece, but then I don’t know why I had to include hurt and angsty Mark into the mix.

POV: 3rd person here. 

Word count: 1,300 + words 

Warning: I never go all the way yet with Johnny and Essie, but this is the closest thing we’ll get to them getting it on for now. 

Recommended listening: I’m going to include the song that shares the same title below. If you must know, and if it isn’t obvious enough with the previous song recommendations, I’m a big Alex Turner fan.

–––

It was during their off-days that Johnny cherished his time with Essie the most.

He loved lazy weekend afternoons, with the curtains gently moving because of the cool breeze. He and Essie would be on the couch, listening to a curated playlist either one of them made or a record of their choosing. Jaehyun gifted them a record player like his, which delighted the girl.

They usually talked about anything and everything while they were on the sofa. Most of the time, Essie would be lying on top of Johnny’s lap, raising her arms in the air to illustrate her point. Sometimes, he would lean his head against her shoulder and then bury his face in her chest when he wanted to cuddle further.

Their hands were always over and around each other, making them a giggly, tangled mess. They would be more so when they had drinks on the coffee table – coffee for Johnny and beer for Essie. They loved how each other tasted when they kissed. Essie became more tolerant of bitter tastes while Johnny became desensitized to the stench of alcohol.

In one of those ideal moments, he talked to her about his recent dream. “I was playing the piano at an empty theater, wearing the usual velvet suits they make us wear. And I was told that it was a full house,” his eyes never left her face as he shared his story.

“Maybe the organizer was a ghost, and a bunch of dead people were there watching your performance,” she replied after a moment, a smile forming on her face.

“Isn’t that creepy, baby? I mean, what the heck? Why would I dream of dead people?” He sat up, shaking his head a little. He ran his hands through his hair, which seemed to help him compose himself.

Essie watched him fuss about his hair still with the same dopey smile on her face. The little things he did always made her heart feel warm and fuzzy, as cheesy as it sounds. She was extremely lucky to call him hers, which she hoped he felt the same way.

The guy didn’t notice the look of adoration on his girlfriend’s face as he cleared his throat, staring into the space ahead. “Sorry, baby, am I boring you with my story? It must be torture when I talk about my dreams…” he mumbled, tucking his head into his chin with shame.

“No, not at all! I find it fascinating, really.” The girl shifted from her position and moved closer to him. “Talking about dreams is interesting. You can interpret them in a million ways.”

When he noticed that her eyes twinkled even in the dim light of the living room, he couldn’t help but pull her closer to him and kiss her.

She responded to his action with no hesitation, hooking her arms around his neck immediately. They forgot about their world around them as they kissed.

However, they forgot that they still had a housemate who can come in whatever time he pleases.

As the couple made out with gusto, Mark Lee entered their apartment and dropped his bag on the floor. The thud it made didn’t bother Johnny and Essie, as the couple was intent on sucking each other’s faces until they were tired.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t time yet for them to stop. Essie started moaning as Johnny’s hands went down her bottom, cupping it with all his might. It made the guy grunt at how sexy that sounded, and both exchanged small (and dirty) nothings to each other.

Mark couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He wanted to sneak into his room as quietly as possible but he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the couple.

Deep inside, he felt a bit of hurt resurface. He liked Essie more than a noona. He admitted his feelings to her before, yet she politely declined him.

“Maybe it’s not the time yet, Marky. Maybe in another lifetime. But just so you know, I love you as a friend and as the little brother I never had,” those were her famous words that took him some time to recuperate from, and now the pain was back momentarily.

As he was rooted in spot watching his hyung and noona about to get it on, something inside him snapped. He walked away as silently as he could, his eyes downcast. He would watch some funny videos on YouTube to help him erase this image.

But Mark being Mark, he stubbed his toe on the dining table. “Shit,” he hissed in pain, slowly reaching his hand to soothe his toe.

The sound he made got the attention of the couple who were now looking at him.

“Oh, Mark,” Johnny started, gently prying Essie off him. “I thought you’d be back tomorrow morning.”

“Uh, flight was early. Decided to come home immediately. I missed my bed.” The young guy’s answers were clipped despite sounding like his usual self. Essie picked up on this and frowned.

“Sorry you had to see that, Marky…” she said softly, now standing up.

“No, it’s fine. You’re a couple now anyways. Making out is something couples do all the time,” he chuckled before he stepped out of the dining room completely.

Silence hung in the air for a moment until Johnny coughed. “Wow, that was a bit awkward,” he started, looking at his girlfriend.

Essie sighed, plopping back on the couch. “I know. I think he’s not yet over, you know…”

It was the guy’s turn to sigh. “I think so too, baby. But give it time. He’ll be over it.”

“You think so?” She looked up at him in worry, her eyes turning glassy with tears.

“Yeah, I do,” he sat closer to her, “and I don’t want to lose him too. He’s both the little brother we never had.”

“I find it a bit unfair that many people are affected with our relationship, and in a not-so-good way,” Essie huffed, wiping the tears that formed in the corner of her eyes.

“I know, baby. But that’s just the way it is, I guess?” Johnny leaned back on the couch, “You can’t win them all. We’re both good-looking people who click so well. And we’re friendly to everyone. We can’t help but make people fall for us.” This got the girl chuckling, who was now leaning back on the sofa as well.

“I never expected that I’ll be liked this much,” she said softly, her eyes looking at the space in front of her. It was a realization that never seemed to sink into her mind, considering how plain and normal she looked.

“Well, baby, you are wrong about that. Turns out that you’re almost everyone’s type,” he eyed her from head to toe, earning a thwack on his shoulder.

“Don’t say that!” She looked away to cover her reddening face. “I don’t know. I am flattered, but at the same time, I don’t deserve this.”

“Aw, come on!” Johnny tilted her face to look at him, and his heart ached when he saw tears coming out of her warm face. “You deserve all the love, my darling. But you can’t give it to everyone, especially if you’re looking for a partner. And I’m the happiest person to be the recipient of that special kind of love.”

Essie broke down into tears, which Johnny kissed away from her face.

“I love you, Essie Park. Please know that. Nothing can change that.”

Although his words came to her, she was at a loss on what to say. She was overwhelmed with her realization and his confession.

“Oh, John…” she mumbled, burying her face on his chest.

He held her in his arms as she wept, but his mind was thinking if she loved him as much as he did.

–––

FIN

Cool Off (Part II)

After the giggles come the tears again, and here is the second and final installment of this brief series. 

Expect a lot of depressing music here too, so if you’re up for those, I hope you’ll like my recommendations. 

Here's a photo of a young Johnny playing in front of the piano as a fitting teaser.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Read Johnny cope with Essie’s short-lived disappearance as he sings the most heartbreaking songs that she loves. 

POV: Keeping it up with 3rd person. 

Word count: 943 words 

Warning: There’s nothing that you haven’t read yet in other stories, but Italics are for thoughts and lyrics. Mostly the latter though, because I went ham with that one. 

Recommended listening: The titles of the songs are mentioned in the story, so I’ll add them at the end of the story for your listening. Feel free to suggest songs of the same caliber – I would appreciate it so much! 

–––

Since Essie hasn’t returned from her self-imposed exile, Johnny has been on his piano a lot. He usually played depressing hits late at night, probably during times when he couldn’t fall asleep due to the situation. Although Mark hears him play from the comfort of his room, this time he was able to catch his hyung hunched over the keyboard in the living room as he sang his heart out to ‘The Songwriter’ by Father John Misty.

What would it sound like if you were the songwriter

And you made your living off of me?

It was heartbreaking to see Johnny struggle with his performance, whether he was aware that someone was watching him or not. Mark bit his lip as he watched his housemate from a dark corner, crossing his arms repeatedly until he felt comfortable with his position.

Goodbye little songbird, now you’re free

Don’t forget I’m the only fan of yours who has the sense to ever leave you be

How could do this to me?

That last line broke the older guy as he stopped playing and cried for what seemed like an eternity. Mark was glued to his spot, trying not to cry with his hyung.

Never has he seen Johnny so broken over someone, and he wished that Essie would come back soon. However, even if she does come back, it would either be to resume the relationship or cut it off completely. He hoped that it was the former because Johnny will never be the same again.

What would it sound like if you were the songwriter

And loving me was your unsung masterpiece?

The six-footer stood up after finishing the song and returned to his room. It was Mark’s cue to return as well, and he found it hard to sleep after hearing that soul-crushing song.

It got more depressing after that – Johnny sang ‘Without You’ by Tobias Jesso Jr. at three in the morning, which the younger guy remembered was the most straightforward depressing song Essie ever heard. Maybe that’s why he’s playing it, he thought while he lay on his bed.

Why can’t you just love me?

Should I move on or should I wait?

And how’d you get so high above me?

I reach higher every day

But nothing changes

No, it all just stays the same

Mark heard his hyung’s voice break when the chorus came, and he couldn’t help but cover his ears a bit out of secondhand embarrassment and hurt.

I can hardly breathe without you

There is no future I want to see without you

I just don’t know who I would be without you

There is nothing out there for me without you

Without you

Once Johnny was done playing, his crying was the next sound that permeated the whole apartment.

The last song that Mark heard from his hyung before Essie returned was ‘The Ultracheese’ by the Arctic Monkeys, which he knew the couple adored. The band was one of the things that brought them closer, and it was during their concert that Johnny realized he was in love with Essie.

The song was not as depressing as the previous ones, but it still sounded painful as the older guy sang with all his hurt.  

Still got pictures of friends on the wall

I suppose we aren’t really friends anymore

Maybe I shouldn’t ever have called that thing friendly at all

This time, Johnny was able to compose himself and not let his emotions get to the best of his singing. Mark closed his eyes to savor his hyung’s rendition since it was not always he heard him cover a song like this.

Oh, the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne

I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done

But I haven’t stopped loving you once

The croon at the end made the song more melancholic than it is, and the sole audience made his presence known by clapping loudly.

Johnny whipped his head to look at Mark, who was silently crying as he continued to clap. “That was amazing, hyung,” he said, slowly approaching the performer.

“Thanks, dude,” Johnny whispered, looking away from the younger guy. “I miss her so much. I wish she’ll come back now.”

“She will. You’ve just got to be patient.”

“It’s been almost two months, Mark Lee. I’m worried that she has moved on with another person. She should let me know if we’re going to continue this or not, you know?”

Johnny’s voice was starting to break again, and Mark went to his side to comfort him.

“I’m sure she will. Maybe she’ll be back tonight. I can feel it.”

His words proved to be true as the girl returned a bit past after midnight, reeking of cigarette smoke.

Mark was speechless as she popped into his room first and asked him what had happened since then.

“Noona, I’m happy you’re back and all, but please don’t cause any more trouble to your relationship with Johnny hyung by talking to me first,” he said, hoping that his honesty will not be taken against him.

“I’m sorry, Marky. But I wanted to return with a surprise. Is he asleep now?”

He took a deep breath first before responding. “Please, noona. You can surprise him now if you want. I’m sure he would be happier if he was the person you talked to.”

“Sheesh, no need to be grumpy with me, Mark,” she chuckled. “And I’m sorry again for this. Okay then, I might as well surprise him now. Thank you.” With that, she went to Johnny’s room, and they made up for lost time with tears and snuggles.

–––

FIN

Midnight Sky

The thought of Mark Lee playing the song this piece is titled after will never leave my mind.

I am confident he can do it, and it suits his voice. A girl can dream, right?

I hope you enjoy this rejection fic featuring Mark and my main OC Essie.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: ~1,000 words

Additional notes: This is part of the Main Timeline pre-Essie and Johnny. Please refer to the Masterlist, which I will update shortly with this one. I'll get to writing the other missing pieces of Mark's story, even Jaehyun's. Some things might not make sense now, but it will in the future. We'll get there, okay?

Recommended listening: I will now associate the title of this fic (also mentioned in the story) as a song Mark should sing to us. You have to agree with me.

---

You never wanted to be in this situation, but sometimes, life hands it to you. It was never easy to break someone’s heart. 

Mark Lee was kneeling in front of you after serenading you in a bar he rented for this purpose. 

This was a more intimate affair than his confession in front of Johnny and Key because he thought you didn't take that seriously. Hopefully, this moment will get through you.

He sang a couple of your favorite songs, but when he sang ‘Midnight Sky,’ you figured out what would come next. 

“Noona, please say something,” he said softly, his doe eyes looking at you with anticipation. 

It has been a couple of minutes since you remained silent after his grand confession. Your mind kept replaying the words he told you – I have been in love with you for some time, Essie noona. I hope you’ll give me a chance to be the partner you’ve always wanted and deserved. 

Those were some big claims, and deep inside, you were curious about what he could give you. But it would be best if he knew the real story of why you were afraid of being in a relationship again. 

“Mark…” you started, holding both of his hands so he could stand up, “I think you have to know something first.” 

You led him to the edge of the stage he performed on and told him to sit beside you there. After a couple of deep breaths, you started to share some of your past. 

As you told him your reasons, your mind was also wondering about the possibility of being with Johnny, the guy who made you love again. 

If you could just go straight to the point that you weren’t expecting his confession and that you were in love with his hyung, then this would be all over. 

“But noona, I am not like your ex. I’m a different person, and I’m not one to ignore and ghost,” Mark replied, his tone a bit on the edge. You could tell he was becoming impatient with the way your conversation shifted. 

“I know, Mark. But…” You busied your hands by clenching and unclenching them on your jeans, still delaying the inevitable. “I’m really sorry; I didn’t expect this at all.” 

The silence that enveloped you both felt suffocating, but you knew that if you said the wrong words, things would never be the same again. 

“So, I guess that’s a no then?” Mark’s voice was barely a whisper, and you felt that he was on the verge of crying. 

You diverted your eyes away from your lap to look at him, and your suspicion was correct. Your heart ached at the tears forming in the corners of his eyes, but you knew what your heart wanted the most. 

“I’m sorry, Marky. Maybe in another lifetime or parallel universe, we could be.”

“Why not now? Is there someone you like more?” He hesitated to ask you, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t take this chance.

“Yes, Mark. I think you know who that is, right?” The tears that pooled in the younger guy’s eyes slipped, and he had to look away from you to wipe them. 

“I think I know who that is,” he said in between sniffles, “but you know what?” He faced you with slightly red eyes. “I’m glad I took the risk to tell you how I feel. If I keep this bottled up for too long, I might resent everyone.” 

You didn’t know what else to say, so your tears decided to speak for themselves. You never thought of the depth of his feelings for you. You always saw him as an affectionate little brother that you wanted to shower your love and praises. He deserved everything he was getting, but unfortunately, not the love he wanted from you. 

“Don’t cry, noona. It’s alright; I can take this.” He smiled at you to reassure you he’ll be fine, but you knew he wouldn’t be after going home to your respective apartments. 

“I’m really sorry, Marky…” More tears spilled on your face, and despite the rejection he got from you, he wiped them with his handkerchief. 

“Don’t be sorry. I can’t make you do something you haven’t set your heart on,” You noticed his small smile can break any moment now. You had to give it to him for being strong after being turned down, but at the same time, you wanted to console him. 

“Can I request something?” His ears perked up at your question, and you saw his beautiful eyes glimmering in the dark. “Come here,” you motioned to your lap, and slowly, he crawled to you. 

You pulled him into your embrace, which was something not uncommon between you two. Mark buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking in your scent. You nuzzled on one side of his head, with one of your hands ruffling and playing with his hair. 

“Do you think I led you on, Marky?” You asked softly, not breaking away from your intimate position. 

“To be honest, yes. We always have moments like this, noona. I could lose myself in your hugs, and you’re one of the people I don’t mind playing with my hair.” 

That got a chuckle out of you and pecked his head afterward. “Are we too close for your liking?” 

“Yeah, and I wish we could be something else,” he mumbled before pecking your neck. “Can I request something this time?” 

Mark broke away from your hug and looked at you intently. God, his eyes were making you feel weird and fuzzy inside. 

“Can I get a…” Before he finished what he was saying, he looked at the floor. You glanced at what he was looking at, but you became distracted by his red ears. 

You already know what he wanted to request, but it would better if it came from him. 

“Can I get a kiss from you?” 

---

FIN

P.S. My brain stopped with that ending, and I don't know if I should proceed lol.