Meguhmi - Tumblr Posts
home away from home never felt more relevant than now, the thought grief and loss anchored within her in a manner she'd been explicitly trying to avoid. she was no fool, she'd shielded her heart the moment she stepped off the train — she would not allow roots to grow, finding the work to be as gruesome as she could expect. the villagers were crazy enough, but she would not be one of them in deluding herself otherwise that she could find some semblance of peace. but — wasn't this peace ? knowing she wasn't as lonely as she was then ? having at least one or two people who would share the same misery ? the heaviness of the night weighed on her chest, provoking such a statement out of her and she didn't realize it'd been said aloud until he replied. caramels flickered in his direction, brows furrowed the slightest. “ what we're not gonna do is make promises we can't keep. haven't you seen him ? i swear to god he'll find the one before i do, i'm so irritated ... ” the last sentence is muttered under her breath, hint of childish pettiness seeping through.
the silence between them wasn't unexpected, megumi was never one to break it at first — so the surprise wasn't amiss when she felt the gentle weight of his hand over her shoulder. expressionless for a moment and then she aggressively swatted his hand off of her, “ don't think i didn't miss you deliberately excluding yourself from that big - headed promise of yours ! you better not fuckin' get yourself killed or i'll undead you just to do it myself. ” slender digits snaked over his chest to grab the front of his collar, dragging him down to her height with a pointed glare. “ don't tell me what to worry about, dumbass, i'll worry about you all i want even if it's stupid ! ”
the girl was a ghost, a husk of a human being with a broken shell, cracks leaving such a fragile system vulnerable to the ugliness of the world it lived in. most days she forgot to exist, forgot she was still alive despite that stubborn organ continuing to beat in the confines of her chest, those wretched, wretched cages holding it captive. sometimes she thought it better that she'd actually left, given into the fate that was so cruelly thrown her way. what did her spite and desperation to cling to life get her ? a laughable, poor excuse of living. bed - ridden, limbs unmoving, time passing in such an agonizingly slow manner. she considered finishing the job herself. it would end the displays of weakness, the mirrors covered with sheets, her fingers wrapped in bandages from too many attempts to claw her own face off.
a failure, was what she'd become. perhaps, what she'd always been. even if her body felt the itch to move and throw itself back into the frontlines, ready itself to play prey for the wolves to tear apart, her own mind held herself prisoner. couldn't handle the pity, the feelings of uselessness. she was more hindrance than anything helpful. she would have succumbed to the walking grave she'd created if not for the next piece of news she'd gotten. like clockwork, that pesky organ began to ache, what was it — grief ? fear ? relief ? everything at once ?
nobara found herself sitting at the foot of his bed again. couldn't recall how many times she'd sat there over the past few days, for hours at a time, until she was beckoned elsewhere and forced to part from him. she was back again, sitting criss - cross on the edge, still afraid to face him — afraid to let him see what she'd become. silence had been their friend the first time, but she'd found her voice. even if he said nothing. bandaged hand reached up to feel that part of her face still wrapped — it'd healed by this point, but it stung, burned. part of her still in denial.
“ i'm getting mad at you, fushiguro megumi. ” delivered in a low voice, hint of amusement. but just barely. “ you know i don't take rejections well, but talking to a wall is worse than that. even a grunt would be fine. or i might just stop coming by. ” a pause. “ maybe you'd like that. nevermind. i'll continue to annoy the hell out of you. ” lightly bouncing over his mattress, she readjusted herself comfortable, twisting her torso to crack her spine. “ thinking about going to the onitsuka tiger pre - sale next week. don't want to go alone. ”
@meguhmi