Mentions Of Cheating - Tumblr Posts

Are You Still Here?

Derek Hale x Sarah McCall

Timeline: When Sarah and Derek are dating, near the end of season 3A, where she suspects that Derek is cheating on her with Jennifer.

Sarah's POV -

It's cold in here, and dark. Had his loft always been this dark and cold? No, it hasn't. It seems to have grown colder and colder since the last month since the time it feels like Derek has distanced himself from me.

I jolt awake from the merry state between sleep and awakeness, blinking rapidly. I stare at my side, at the cold and empty side which used to be warm, when Derek was here.

Now, I don't know anymore where he is. He comes home at odd hours and leaves almost immediately after, not telling me much about where he has been or where he is going to go. He appears so stressed and worried these days, that I don't bother him by asking too many questions.

But as I lie here, staring at the ceiling in the dark, I think that maybe I should ask questions. I'm his girlfriend, I have the right to know. Or am I? Is he seeing another woman behind my back?

No, he won't do that. He'd never cheat on me.

Still, a trail of doubt tugs at my gut. He has never confessed that he loves me, he has never made any promise to me that he won't leave me and shit.

No, I shouldn't think like that. Even when he has never said those things to me, I've seen the sincerity and affection in his eyes.

They say that the eyes can never lie, but now I wonder, can they? The ceiling stares back at me with no answer, and I groan in frustration. I should talk to Derek, shouldn't make assumptions.

Maybe, he's really busy with all of that stuff with the Alpha Pack and Deucalion. Maybe, I'm being doubtful for no reason, yet hear as I lie down, I keep asking myself, are me and Derek still a thing?

I haven't told Scott about this. The time he found out that I was dating Derek, it was after Derek killed Peter and turned Jackson into a kanima. I had been furious at him but had eventually forgiven him. I cannot stay mad at Derek, maybe those are the effects of falling in love.

Love.

I haven't told him that I have fallen in love with him, and now, I'm even more hesitant. I have always wondered what would happen if he doesn't love me back, and now that possibility scares me even more.

Scott doesn't know anything about Derek's been behaving, and if I do tell him, Scott will drag his ass and throw him at my feet. A chuckle escapes my lips as I imagine that. There has always been tension between Scott and Derek since the two have world views which are polar opposites. After Derek and I had started dating, Scott became even more protective of me. He clearly doesn't trust Derek much, but I cannot forget the conversation we had about my relationship.

I close my eyes and memories flood back.

"You know, CeeCee," Scott says seriously, "I don't trust him. Not a lot, to be honest."

"I know, Scotty," I say, "But he's not that bad. You two have different kinds of thinking and perspectives, but this doesn't make him a bad person."

"I don't think that he's a bad person," Scott says, "I just...don't trust him well, and not with you."

"You know I'm older than you, right?" I raise an eyebrow at him. He chuckles, "I know." But then he turns serious again, but his eyes are loving, "CeeCee, I don't trust him, but I do trust you. And I know that whatever choice you make, it will be good for you."

"Thank you," I say, squeezing his hand.

"But, if he ever causes even a teeny amount of discomfort, I'm dragging his werewolf ass out and shoving him in a sack of wolfsbane."

I laugh, "Thank you, but I don't think that it will ever come to that."

I open my eyes and smile sadly. At least Scotty's there with me. And Stiles too. And Mom, of course. And even Derek-

Scott is going to be so angry if Derek cheats on me.

I will be so angry if Derek cheats on me.

The bed feels suffocating, so I get up and sit on the couch in the living room. I'm staring into darkness when I hear the door creak open.

The breath whooshes out of my lungs as I see Derek stumble in, looking so tired and exhausted that I momentarily forget about everything else. Effects of falling in love.

"Derek?" I say and he looks at me. For a minute, our eyes lock and nothing else in this world matters. He then saunters towards the couch and he collapses down. I sit beside him. He holds my hand and breathes deeply. "Honey," He says, "Why're you still awake?"

That question makes me so angry that I want to hurl something at his head. He's asking me that like he wants me to sleep so that he can carry on with whatever he does without my interruption.

"Why do you ask that?" I seethe, "You wanted me to fall asleep so that you can carry on with whatever top-secret stuff you do?"

Derek immediately understands the issue. He looks at me with soft eyes and says, "Honey, I'm really sorry that I haven't been talking to you lately. I'm sorry that I haven't told you about anything that I'm doing. I'm just so sorry." He looks down in shame.

"Tell me now," I say, "Tell me Derek, what is keeping you so busy these days? What has driven you so much that you can't even find the time to spend with me? You're so absent, so...not there." I bite my lip, my heart hurting. Tears pool in my eyes, and I try not to cry.

"Honey I-" He tries to speak but I stop him.

"What is happening, Derek?" I say desperately, "What is happening to you? To us? We don't even talk to each other anymore! Whenever I have tried to reach out to you, you have swatted me away!" My voice is raised now, but I don't care.

"Do you not like me anymore?" I say, my chest heaving and tears pouring down my eyes, "Are you bored of me? Do you now like someone else? Is it Jennifer? Whatever it is, tell me! Talk to me! I'm right here! But the main question is, are you still here?"

I fall back on the couch and sniff. I needed this release.

Derek looks at me for a few minutes, and then says, "Since my family was burnt alive, I died too. Just not physically. I was a lone wolf, surviving on my own. I didn't have a pack, I didn't have an alpha, I was just a lonely beta with no good to this world. I thought that my entire life was going to be like this. I mean, why wouldn't it be?"

I listen quietly.

"And then there comes this girl trudging in the woods, all determined to find her brother's inhaler." He smiles. I have to admit, his smiles are the most beautiful thing in the world. "I recognise her, from the days I was in school. She thought that I wouldn't, but I did. I cannot believe it. The biology nerd from school has become such a beautiful woman."

I pout at him, but at least I'm not crying anymore.

"As I spend more time with her, I realise that she hasn't become beautiful suddenly, she always has been. I was just too blind to see it." He says, looking into my eyes, "She's beautiful from the inside out, and no one can ever be compared to her."

I now want to cry again.

"After I get to know her better, she helps me get to know myself better. Being in her presence, I realise that I am not dead, not really. I was just dull, dry, like a tree which hasn't been watered in years." He then takes a deep breath. "And you know what she is like? Rain."

He doesn't have to elaborate for me to understand. But if he thinks that he can butter me up with beautiful words to make me forget my anger, then he is wrong.

"I've never said these words to you," Derek says, and keeps my hand over his heart, "So now I'm going to say them."

I inhale sharply.

"I love you, Sarah McCall."

I am speechless. All the times I've imagined him saying that this had not crossed my mind.

"I love you, Sarah." He repeats, now smiling gently, "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. Not even Paige."

"Derek I-" I pause and say, "I love you too."

We kiss and he mutters, "I'll never even think of cheating on you Sarah, ever. I love you." A few tears slide down my cheeks as I say softly, "I love you too."