Min Yoongi Fanart - Tumblr Posts
apart (min yoongi)
masterlist
word count: 2k
summary: Yoongi is distant and the reader is snarky. Yoongi doesn’t mean to intentionally be an asshole and Reader’s pent up feelings caused by depression result into a fight and devastating time apart. They love each other and they didn’t mean it that way but realizations hurt.
warnings: language. angst. mentions of depression and negative thoughts. both don’t mean to let their feelings get the best of em.
a/n: it’s been a while since i’ve written so i’m sorry if this isn’t the best. perhaps work is also kicking my creative ass ew lol.
——
“The guys called, I’ll be home later.” Yoongi grinned as he grabbed his keys, the sound of a door closing echoing the small hall.
-
“Kind of busy? Can we talk later?” Yoongi turned his attention to the computer screen in front of him, bringing the hot mug to his lips. “Thank you for the tea though!”
-
“Gotta take this, just a moment.” He put a finger up, requesting a moment as he walked out the door.
-
“Going out, don’t wait up.” He kissed your cheek with a hand on your back, walking away before you could think of a response.
-
“Not now, maybe later?”
“Yeah..” You sighed as you gently crumpled a shirt, tossing it onto your shared bed. The different responses all had the same meaning, leaving the same tired feelings every time. “Just lemme know what time you're coming home, yeah?” You asked with a hint of concern.
“Yeah no problem.” Yoongi grinned as he zipped up his jacket and adjusted the cap on his head. “Might be late. Laters baby” He waved as he grabbed a mask off the dresser. You sighed once hearing the door close.
“Love you.” You said out loud to an empty room.
That same night he doesn’t call and comes home at 4 am. Pretending to slow your breathing- you hear him as he walks from the bathroom to the closet, changing out of his clothes and preparing for bed, he lays down with a heavy sigh, facing away from you. Tears brim your eyes but you don’t give yourself away, he’s tired anyways.
You wondered if he ever noticed how his favorite meals you were forced to put away as leftovers were attempts at grabbing his attention. How you woke up early enough to prepare breakfast on a day where he had more time… only for him to take a sip of coffee and quickly stuff a cut piece of pancake into his mouth before running off. Or how you made sure to clean his small home studio just the way he preferred… even if you didn’t get a thanks. Most importantly, the way you always said ‘I love you’ even if he was already out the door, hoping he’d say it first for once.
You just wanted someone to talk to. A moment of peace and happiness to contrast the dark thoughts you had been having recently. This time of the year was always the hardest for you, and although you didn’t want to fully depend on your boyfriend nor make it his responsibility, you wanted some sort of reassurance or support- no matter how small. You knew he also wasn’t good at talking about feelings but it was an effort you both put in to grow and become better versions.
...But lately his constant absence didn’t help the loneliness you had already been feeling.
-
“Hey baby why don’t we stay in tonight?” You walked over to him as he sat in front of his computer, fingers softly dancing their way up to gently play with the hair near his neck. “I can cook or perhaps order delivery! There’s a movie I know you’ll love!” You grinned, hoping he would agree tonight.
He always did say to come to him when you needed something and right now you wanted his warmth.
“Kind of busy.” He tilted his head with an annoyed sigh and clicks of the cursor filled the silent room.
You played with your hands and looked to the floor, “I know you're busy and I’m super proud of you but to be honest..” You paused, you felt as if you were about to break down. Every negative emotion was ready to be poured out after being pushed away. “I just want someone to talk to. I’ve been feeling super desperate and negative-“
“Look babe,” He set down his headphones to properly turn his chair around, taking your hand in his, “Feelings like these suck, trust me I know. Take a nap and relax okay? I know how it gets sometimes.” He nodded- continuing, “Why don’t you call your best friend? Maybe have a movie night with some snacks.” He kissed your hand before letting go and turning around to reach for his headphones. “Love you!”
“I already did.” You softly replied but it was no use as you heard the muffled sound blasting from his headphones. Despite hearing those three words for the first time in weeks, they didn’t register. You shook your head and wiped away your tears, walking back into your shared bedroom. With the door closed you slid to the floor, silently crying into your hands.
See? Not even your boyfriend wants you around. You know what you are? A bother! Why don’t you just run away from it all? You’ll go unnoticed.
A few moments passed before you decided to pick yourself up, tiredly wiping away stray tears.
Just suck it up. All you do is annoy. So whiny! Pathetic. This is why he doesn’t love you anymore.
You laid in bed with a straight face as the voices chanted in circles around your mind. Inside your mind you had anger but not towards anyone in particular but yourself, for feeling such a way and wishing you could just push it away.
-
The door clicked signaling to an entry. You heard soft ruffles of clothes from the opened closet before you heard his footsteps.
Why were you not surprised?
“Hey babe, going out. Gonna-“
“Be late I fucking know.” You interrupted and the sounds of his jewelry came to halt, your tone definitely snapping him out of his daze. Didn’t you just say you were busy?
“Pardon?” He asked as he took a few steps in your resting figure. “Is there a problem?” He asked as he adjusted his jacket.
“No.” You shook your head, “None at all. Have fun.”
“What’s up?” He shifted his weight as he crossed his hands across his chest.
“Nothing.” You dryly replied as you rolled away from his stare. “Won’t wait up, they’re expecting you. Go.”
Yoongi cocked his brow in amused confusion. He had never seen this type of behavior from you, completely forgetting your previous actions thinking this moment was completely random.
“(Y/N).” His voice was stern as he stepped closer, the use of your full name only angered you as he stood behind you, your back towards him . “Speak. What’s wrong?”
He waited for an answer but was met with none as you continued to ignore him. Now he wanted to hear what you had to say? Now he found the time?
“(Y/N).”
Silence.
“(Y/N),I won’t ask again. What’s wrong?” He felt himself growing annoyed.
“Then don’t.”
Yoongi stayed in place as you sat up, ignoring his stare and walking out into the living room. What was your reasoning for this type of behavior?
He followed the sound of the tv as you sat on the couch.
“So now you don’t wanna speak? What the fuck is wrong, tell me.”
“It’s nothing, leave me alone Yoongi.”
He shook his head in disbelief as you called him by his name. Even when it came to disagreements you would either use the nickname you gave him or refrain from using his name at all. The tone you used signaled you were angry and he wasn’t having it.
“So you can go on and act desperate for my attention huh,” He asked with a scoff. “But the second I hand it over now you wanna act silent? Grow up. Tell me what you’re on.”
You shook your head and raised your brows in shock as your tongue poked the inside of your cheek. Oh so he did notice. How great for him to say nothing until now.
“Forget it.” You shut the tv off and stood up once again, making a beeline to the kitchen where once again, Yoongi was hot on your emotional trail.
“You obviously have something important to say so go on.” He pressed as he crossed his arms once again.
“I’m waiting.” You looked up to him with an agitated face.
“Keep waiting.” You bit back as you began to reach for the cupboard above. You hoped to relax by preparing a cup of tea but suddenly saw his hand reach out to close the small door, halting your actions.
“You don’t get to start this and leave it unfinished.” He put his hands on either side of you as you turned around, “I asked you multiple times about whatever fucking issue you have and now you wanna rub me off? I have done the absolute most and this is how you wanna go about it? We’re adults.”
You've done the absolute most? Are you kidding? Please say it isn’t so! Don’t let it be that he’s about to start using his career against you. Not in a moment like this.
“I don’t want this okay?.” You shook your head with a dry chuckle. Your anxiety grew 10x worse as you began to mentally prepare for the possible fight that was about to start. “I don’t wanna fight with you anymore. You’re unbelievable Min Yoongi.”
“Please enlighten me (Y/F/N)”
“I shouldn’t have to repeat it.”
“Well you’re about to.” He said in an annoyed manner.
With a shake of your head, you returned the same tone. “First off.” You stood before him but his stance didn’t falter. “I’ve been trying to capture your attention for weeks now. You brush me off before I can even get a proper word in.”
“Oh please.” He scoffed.
“I’m not done Min Yoongi. Like you said, if I showed how desperate I was for your attention.. Why didn’t you mention that earlier? Don’t throw it in my fucking face. You know I try to do my part and more to help make up for the stuff I can’t do.”
You began to point a finger to his chest as he raised a brow.
“Third and final fuck of all. You want to know my deal? I’m not happy. I’ve been desperate for your attention because I’m drowning inside. A small conversation or a hug would be very helpful.” You spat. “You noticed my efforts and let me be met with disappointment every time. I feel like you don’t love me anymore. Maybe it’s my mind, but I don’t know. I’m tired. Mentally I feel like I'm self suffocating. Now leave me alone.” Before Yoongi could even process your words, you ducked under his arm and walked past him, trying to reach your bedroom when he spoke again.
“If you’re not happy then why are you here?” His words had hit another chord as you froze in place. “I love you but you know I’m not good with that soft shit. That’s why you can call your friends.”
“Other than tonight, when was the last time you said you loved me?” You pursed your lips as you spun around.
Silence.
“See?” With a nod, you continued your stare off.
“You haven’t said it either so now what?” He challenged with a shrug.
“I’ve said it everyday Yoongi.” Licking your lips you continued, “But you're always out the door before you can hear me.”
Yoongi’s eyes moved to anything else but your eyes.
He had no reason to doubt your words.
“You don’t get it. Forget ‘that soft shit’ I brought up Yoongi.” With a shake of your head you had hoped that perhaps it would be the end. You knew you had a good reason to be angry but perhaps it didn’t come out the way you intended.
“Like I said,” His voice still low. “If you're not happy, you can leave. I’m not gonna force you since you’re so tired.” He mocked, emotions still rushing.
With exhaustion taking over you let your shoulders fall in realization. “Fine.” And with slow steps you began your walk back into your room, maybe time would help this situation. A way for you to breathe and focus on yourself. Maybe he had a point, focus on just yourself for now and come back.
In Yoongi’s mind he knew you had a point but was too stubborn to admit he wasn’t being the best boyfriend. Seeing your anger brought his out too and he couldn’t blame you.
In reality he really had noticed your efforts but tried to brush em off as clingingness, too afraid to confront the reasons as to why. Of course he still loved you. When would he ever stop? He just hasn't been able to prioritize the important. Even though he knows he shouldn’t even have to consider your position in his life.
If he couldn’t confront his own feelings, how could he help you confront yours?
He stood in the middle of the living room, all the words registering in his mind before the sound of a zipper broke his thoughts. With wide eyes he took quick strides to your bedroom. What was he saying? What was he doing?
“What are you doing?” He asked softly with concern as he leaned against the doorway.
“You have a point. I’m leaving and focusing on bettering myself okay?” Valuables tucked into the suitcase as you walked from drawer to drawer, folding clothes and tossing. “Maybe I just need some space.”
“No wait.” He stood next to the bed, hoping you’d stop your actions. “We can sit and talk, c’mon.” He extended his hand. “I’ll listen to every word okay?”
You sighed as you set down a small stack of clothes into your bag. “It’s fine. We’ll talk later okay?”
“Or you can stop packing and we can talk now?” His suggestion came out more like a question as he began to chew on his bottom lip. “See? I’ll help you unpack.”
Yoongi began to take out the folded articles of clothing and set them back into the designated drawers. With another weary sigh you crossed your arms against your chest. “Please don’t do this.”
“You said you wanted to talk feelings, let’s do that.” His voice was shaky as he stood before you, taking your hand. The realness of the moment kicked in and now he was terrified.
“This started because we didn't want to talk feelings, let’s not start another so that we do.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” He interjected as he took your other hand. “You have a point and I’m sorry I’m realizing that right now. I’ve been busy and I can’t bring myself to confront emotions. I let myself get carried away by them when I should really be listening and supporting the best I can.” He intertwined your fingers as he took a deep breath. “Just stop packing.”
“We both agreed to work on expressing our emotions. This isn’t a new topic Yoongi.” You expressed with sadness as you pulled a hand away to cradle his cheek.
“I know but please-“
“It’s best I go, at least for a bit.” Pulling away, clothes began to make their way back into the suitcase.
“(Y/N)-“
“I’m doing this for myself. Maybe I need a break from everything around me. I can't be myself and give you the best version of me if I’m feeling like a whole different person. Look at what I started. I don’t like this.”
“So you need a break from me too?” With glossy eyes Yoongi began to breathe heavily, the panic now on display before you. Have we truly done it now?
“I’m not leaving you Min Yoongi.” You held his face in your palms as your thumbs gently rubbed his shoulders. With closed eyes he held your hand, worried. “I need to work on me. This isn’t about you or anything else. I guess I’m running from my emotions but maybe it’s best. I’ll be forced to confront them.”
“Are you sure?” He asked again hoping maybe you’d change your mind.
“Yes. I’ve been trying to distract myself from reality and I can’t do this anymore.”
Surprised you kept a steady voice, you tsked before pulling him into a hug.
“I love you so much. I’m sorry for everything tonight but please wait till I’m home okay?” You squeezed him tighter.
“But what if you don’t? What if you realize maybe I’m the reason and never come back? I’m sorry for everything too. I promise I’ll listen to your feelings. Don’t go.” Vulnerable, Yoongi felt a tear slip down his cheek and onto your shoulder. He was most certain you felt it as it left a dark stain on your shirt.
“Please don’t treat this as a breakup. It won’t be.”
“It sure feels like one.” He wished there was more he could say.
With tears of your own you pulled away, extending a pinky before him. “Look,” Pulling his own hand up, you tried to move his fingers to mimic yours. “I promise you. I’ll be back. Just wait.”
Looking into your eyes, he admitted defeat. Your stubbornness was something he admired but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t what he despised at this moment.
“Promise?” He shed more tears as his pinky curled.
Completing the action you nodded, “I promise. I love you Min Yoongi.”
“I love you too (Y/N/F).” With that he left himself break, pulling you in once again and sobbing into your shoulder.
That tender moment felt like you both let out everything you had to say but without using your words. If only it was always like this.
“It’s best I go. I’ll text you okay?” You wiped away a couple tears as he let you go with a sad nod.
“I’ll be here waiting.” And with a sad smile he sat on the edge of the bed as you continued to pack.
Both of your hearts hoped this was the right answer.
They look nothing alike lmao try to guess
“happy birthday hyung!” love my bias wrecker <3