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Pandoras Box

Summary - Days of waiting has lead to this moment, but your waking may have unearthed more questions than answers

Authors note - I’ve rewritten this like three times and I hate it but here we are

Warnings - mentions of; drugs, forced usage, alcohol I think? Hospital setting, (inaccurate) medical talk, addiction recovery, Wanda being a sad bean

Word count - 4.3k

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There’s nothing more disorienting than waking up in a place you don’t remember going to sleep in.

As a child, falling asleep on the couch and waking up in your bed the next morning felt like magic. As an adult the magic is quickly replaced by some sort of negative emotion. Dread. Confusion. Fear. It raises questions that you might not want the answers to.

You stirred to the gentle beeping sounds of machines on either side of your head. The sterile smell of cleaning products and clinically fresh sheets took over your senses. Well, whatever ones you were able to determine still worked. It was unsettling and confusing not knowing where you were or how you got there.

Your head was groggy. Filled with fog and a pounding that made you close your eyes tight to relieve some pressure. To ground yourself. Gain some sort of balance back to an already unstable start.

Where were you? The question swam through your mind as you tried to think. The last thing you remember was…you weren’t exactly sure. You tried to conjure memories but your head hurt too much to make any clear sense of what could have happened.

Then when a warm hand clutched your cold one and a brush of lips ghosted over your temple, it was as if fog had cleared. You could feel the familiar throb where the I.V. was inserted into the skin of your hand. The stiff sheets rough against your sensitive skin. The scratch of a pen nib on paper attached to a clipboard.

“Vitals are stable. Heart rate has increased slightly, but that’s normal and nothing I’m too concerned about. Their consciousness is catching up so they should hopefully come around fully soon”

“Thank you, Doctor. Really”

Hospital.

“No need to thank me, it’s what we do. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on your wife’s progress. In the meantime just sit and wait. A friendly face is always reassuring to patients when they wake up”

There was rustling of what you presumed was a doctor's coat, and the tapping of several feet on the tile floor. Then it was quiet. For a time anyway. It was Wanda’s small sob that cut through the beeping and the muted bustle of the corridor outside.

“Please Y/N, can you just wake up already?” She choked through gasps of air. You could tell she was trying to keep it together. God knows how long you’d been in hospital for. Or how long she’s been waiting by your bedside. Guilt flooded through you as your mind raced with the whats and the how’s and the why’s.

So with as much strength you could muster up with what little energy you had, you squeezed your wife’s hand. It was gentle, a barely there gesture, but she felt it. You knew she did because she sucked in a breath and squeezed back.

You did it again.

So did she.

-

When you finally opened your eyes, your eyelids fluttered at the harsh lights of the hospital room. Lashes fanning your cheeks. The light made your vision hazy. Blurred around the edges as you tried to focus on the indistinct figures that surrounded you. Then like a beacon of hope, a light emerging from the dark, you saw her.

Wanda. Your Wanda. Her eyes were filled with both relief and concern. Red rimmed, from tears, you suspected. Or tiredness. Worry even. Her free hand soft against your cheek, the pad of her thumb delicately tracing a line under your eye. Her touch was gentle and full of love. As it always was. The weight of her presence washed over you suddenly. Having to catch up to how your body craved her. As if you’d been without her for months, though you only remember seeing her the same morning.

The clearing of a throat sounded from the foot of your bed. More silhouettes emerged, making themselves known. Your eyes slowly finding Tony, his usual cocky demeanor was replaced by a somber expression of furrowed brows and a downward curve to his mouth. A look you know comes from a place of seriousness.

He had Natasha standing next to him. Her arms folded over her chest, nails digging into the leather of her jacket. A gesture stemmed from stress, you’d learnt. Years of knowing her made things like that hard to hide. It made you wonder why you were here. Why your friends surrounded you, protesting signs of worry you hadn’t been privy to for years. You were to find out what happened to you as you tried to make the mental calculations with what little information you had.

Wanda’s voice broke the silence, her words wavering. “You scared me”, her voice filled with a raw vulnerability you don’t often hear from a woman so strong. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you”

Your eyes welled up instinctively at her words. The weight of them seemed to sit on your chest in a way you couldn’t explain.

Tony stepped forwards then, his voice filled with both concern and sternness. You got flashbacks to your younger years at his tone. “I can’t say I’m happy with how you got here, but I’m sure as hell relieved you’re back with us”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “Gave us all a bit of a heart attack” she added.

You went to reply, to try to ask some of the questions you had plaguing your mind, but your mouth was so dry only a croak managed to find its way out. A nurse brought a plastic cup of water to your lips out of nowhere. The liquid was cool against your dehydrated skin.

“There’s no need to speak right now, Y/N”. Another voice was added to the mix. You turned your head so you could see who it was coming from. You gathered it was the person stood with a clipboard. The one you heard being written on earlier you presumed. “It’s good to see you awake. I’m Doctor Evans. You’ve been through a lot, but you’re on the path to recovery now”

Recovery? Your mind raced, trying to recall the events that could have led up to a moment like this. The doctor's expression softened slightly as they registered your confusion. Your worry.

“You were in an induced coma” they explained gently. “You had a drug overdose and we had to intervene to stabilise your condition. A critical one, I admit, but lucky for you and your family, you’ve pulled through with the help of our team”

As Doctor Evans shared the details, a flurry of emotions overcame you. Shame. Fear. Confusion. A drug overdose? That can’t be true can it?

“I- I’m sorry?” You finally croaked out. “A drug-“

“We have a team of specialists that can support you,” the doctor continued. His statement filled with genuine concern. “We’ll address not only the physical aspects, but also the underlying issues that may have contributed to this situation. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to face it alone”

How could this happen? You’ve been clean from drugs for years. You’ve fought tooth and nail to break free from the clutches of addiction. The torment of those dark days will forever be etched deep within your memory. A constant and serious reminder of the uphill battle you have faced. So why now? How did you end up in this hospital bed, fighting for your life once again?

-

The hospital room was dimly lit. The day had gotten away from the two of you. Emotions of the news and circumstances you found yourself in making the sterile air around you thick with, something. Guilt perhaps. Or anger. Wanda could sense it too. She was feeling much of the same. Guilt that she didn’t spot the signs. Anger that you’d jeopardise everything you’d built together over the years in just one night.

She sat at the edge of the bed, her eyes shining from frustrated tears. Finger fidgeting with the loose threads of the old sweater she wore.

She’d dismissed Tony and Natasha hours ago and sat stewing in your room whenever she found the chance. Her gaze was fixed on you, her once soft demeanor now replaced with a torrent of rigid emotions. Years had passed since this topic had made her feel this way. With sobriety being your focus for so long. But the scars it had left on her heart were far from healed. And now they’ve been reopened, it made her wonder if they had ever healed at all.

Her voice trembled as she began to speak, her words full of disappointment as you braced yourself for something more than a slap in the wrist. "Do you have any idea what you have put me through these last few days? The fear, the uncertainty? I thought I was going to lose you, and I was left here thinking about how I'd have to raise our children alone. Do you even know how much I worried that I might become a widow, that my children might never know their mother?"

You cringed. You could feel the weight of her words crushing you, the guilt seeping into your bones as you looked at the floor from where you sat defeatedly between the sheets. Unable to meet her gaze, like a child being disciplined. Wanda's anger was justified, of course it was. Her tears only adding to the heaviness of the moment. The magnitude of the potential consequences of your actions.

"I can't believe you would be so reckless, so selfish," she continued, her voice breaking as she struggled to keep her composure. "You have a family, responsibilities. And you almost threw it all away. All for a fucking high!”

The room seemed to close in around you, the seriousness of everything weighing heavily on your chest. Crushing you under its unforgiving thumb. You hadn't had the chance to truly grasp the extent of the pain you had caused until now, even as your brain swam with questions. But as Wanda's voice cracked and tears streamed down her face, whatever happened has shaken her in a way you never wanted to be responsible for. Not again.

You looked at her finally. Her throat blushing red with rage as she seemingly held back more things she wanted to get off of her chest. Eyes glistening in the low light of the lamp on your bedside. You weren’t sure how you ended up in this situation, but you knew that facing your wife and all her anger was essential. That only through this confrontation could you hope to mend the wounds you had inflicted. It was a reckoning long overdue, a storm that needed to be weathered before the healing could begin.

“I’m so sorry, Wanda,” you eventually managed to whisper, your voice heavy with remorse. Timid. “I never meant to hurt you like this. I- I don’t know how it happened”

Wanda’s anger seemed to ebb ever so slightly, replaced by what can only be described as exhaustion. She was tired. Of what specifically you didn’t know. But you’d bet you and your antics were high on her list. She wiped her tears roughly with the back of her hand, taking a shuddering breath. “I need you to listen. I need you to fully understand how scared I was, how close I was to losing everything. Our family was almost shattered because of your stupidity. For God sake Y/N, you have a family!. What the fuck were you thinking?”

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Replacing the drying ones. A potent cocktail of emotions bubbling within you. “I don’t know. Shit, Wanda I don’t know! I have no excuses. I was foolish, thoughtless even” you stopped to suck in a breath. To gather yourself slightly. “I’m sorry, but I- I don’t even know what I’m sorry for. For everything I guess”. There was nothing else you can say, really. Nothing would ever reach the corners it needed to. Not yet anyway. Not until you yourself could understand what was going on.

However much you believed them, the words tasted bitter in your mouth. Not because you didn’t mean them exactly, but you felt like you were apologising for something you weren't conscious of doing. Like being ridiculed for sleepwalking, or cheating on someone in a dream. How could you really apologise for something you couldn’t even recall?

Wanda’s anger looked to soften further. She knew you were trying. She’s not blind to your struggles. And the tears now flowing down your cheeks made her heart ache for you. She reached out, taking your hand in hers. It was a small gesture, but it held a world of forgiveness and understanding. “We’re a team, and we need to be there for each other, especially for our children. But you have to promise me that you’ll never put us through something like this again”

“I promise,” you said, your voice filled with sincerity. “I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to be a better wife, a better parent. I won’t ever let this happen again. I swear”

Wanda’s grip on your hand tightened, her eyes reflecting a mix of emotions back at you. Relief, love, and the beginnings of forgiveness. She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, a gesture of reassurance that you were still loved, even through the darkest moments. It softened you around the edges. Like butter at room temperature.

“I want to meet them,” you said quietly. Not having to elaborate what you meant. “Please Wanda, I’ve already missed so much”

-

“They’re beautiful, Wands” you choke as you brush the tip of your finger over the eyebrow of one twin, Billy, who sleeps peacefully in your arms. “Perfect. The two of them”

You awoke almost three days ago. The tiredness slowly but surely removing itself from your body as you healed. Almost three days of fighting sleep and nagging Wanda to wheel the boys in so you could meet them, until the doctor finally deemed you well enough to have some time together. And Wanda had decided you'd earnt your right to be introduced to your children.

“He’s got your nose” you state. Not to her specifically, but just out loud. Voicing your observations into the quiet of the room.

“They’ve both got your pout. Maybe you’ll see it if they wake up wanting to be fed” your wife responds as she gently turns the other twin, Tommy, in her arms so you can see him better. “They’re milking me dry”

You laugh but wince slightly as your head throbs. Still sore but better than the previous days. Painkillers helping ease some of the discomfort.

“I’m not sure if you would. Breastfeed, I mean. You didn’t know whether you’d be up for it”

It was a conversation the two of you had a while back. In a rare moment of peace, her back to your front in the tub. Your hands gently placed on her bump as you kissed the damp skin on her shoulder and neck languidly. She never did give you a full answer.

“The lactation consultant suggested I give it a go. They both latched with little struggle so I thought why not? But I do a bottle feed if they get hungry close together”

You hummed in response. That made sense.

“Do you want to help do the next one? The nurses have been good. They’ve moved us into a family suite so we’ve got everything we need. Diapers, formula, the works”

“You don’t want to go home? Get them used to their cribs?” It wasn't a demand. Your questions came from pure curiosity. It wasn’t often you got people volunteering to stay in hospitals longer than they needed to. Especially with healthy newborns they wanted to get home and show off.

“I didn’t want to take them home without you. We’re a family. We do those things together”

“I love you” you found yourself saying. You were about to lean over, to kiss your wife to confirm what you said was true, when the baby in her arms started to fuss. His little face screwed up, making it go red. Fists clenched next to his head.

“I told you they have your pout” she stated, looking down at the boy with a smirk. “Swap?” She asks suddenly.

You maneuver yourself on the mattress so you can take one child from your wife and give her the other. A move you think you’ll both have mastered in weeks to come. Tommy starts to grunt the longer he has to wait for food. Another trait from yourself he seems to have inherited already. Poor thing.

Wanda hands you a bottle she seemed to make without you even realising. Pressing it into your palm as you settled the baby correctly in your arms.

“If you gently touch the nipple of the bottle against his lips. He should open his mouth reflexively”. You do as she says, hanging onto every word as she directs you. The rubber tip of the bottle against the boy's lips prompts him to open, as expected. “Now if you keep the bottle mostly horizontal, but tipped a little, the milk should come out when he sucks”

Then, just like that, his little hands reached for the bottle over yours, his face unfurled and his eyes opened, revealing two baby blues that you’d never forget.

“See, you’re a natural”

With impending crying now under control, it gave you the chance to admire what you have. Looking at your boys angelic faces, coming to realise how unique they are, yet also undeniably a reflection of you and Wanda. Tommys tiny fingers wrap about your own. Billy huffs dramatically as he finds comfort in Wanda’s arms. A wife that you wouldn’t change for the world.

It makes your heart swell.

There in the quiet room of the hospital, listening to their delicate breaths fill the space, a new chapter of your life begins. A new opportunity. A silent vow to give these precious souls a lifetime of cherished memories.

Then, as if some higher being was against you, a loud knock on the door broke you out of your moment, causing the pair of you and the two boys in your arms to jump. The catalyst of wailing and screaming breaking the surface of a once calm storm.

You and Wanda both turned your heads in annoyance, staring daggers at whoever it was that had just upset the twins.

“Shit, sorry guys” one man said, and you realised it was Steve as he shuffled into the room, followed by Bucky in tow. “The doctor said we were fine to come in”

Your heart softened a fraction at the sight of your friends, their familiar faces offering a small semblance of comfort amidst the irritation flooding through your body.

Wanda, her emotions still raw, hot one minute, cold the next, shot them both a pointed look before turning away, gathering the boys, and heading toward the door. Her shoulders tense with frustration. She didn’t say anything as she left, her silence a heavy reminder of the impact of your actions despite everything. Despite the progress you had made over the last few days. You felt for Bucky and Steve having to be on the wrong end of Wanda’s animosity towards you.

There was no doubt in your mind you still had a lot of making up to do.

Once the door closed behind her, Steve and Bucky exchanged a concerned glance before approaching the bed, their expressions showing worry and trepidation. “Hey, how are you holding up?” Steve asked gently, his blue eyes reflecting genuine concern.

You managed a weak smile, feeling a lump forming in your throat. “I’m- I’m struggling, Steve” you said honestly, wondering if you should lie to save face. “It’s hard to see how much I hurt her. How I almost destroyed our family. Even though my brain doesn’t want to tell me how”

Bucky placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “We know you’re going through a lot right now, but we’re here for you. And we’re going to help you get through this”

Steve nodded in agreement. “And part of that might involve talking about what happened”

You groaned, turning away from them to look out of the window. Keeping your eyes trained on the birds flying outside to try and block out their voices.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it right now, Y/N. But it’s important, really important, that you try and give us some insights to what might have happened”

You know Steve, you know his train of thought. He was gearing up to interrogate you. As a friend sure, but the fact he was in his uniform didn’t go unnoticed. Not by you, and certainly not by Wanda. The knife twisting a little deeper.

“Do you remember anything from that night? Any people or places that come to mind?”

You sighed, your gaze dropping to your hands as you wracked your brain for answers. The memories were hazy, a disjointed blur of emotions and actions that were hard to piece together. “I… I don’t remember much. I was at a club-“

“Andromeda” Bucky interjected.

“Yeah, I think that was it” you carried on, clearing your throat. “And I was with someone, a friend but, I can’t…” you trailed off, frustration welling up within you as you struggled to grasp the elusive fragments of memory.

Steve leaned in slightly, his expression gentle. “It’s alright, take your time. If anything comes back to you, even small details, it might help us piece some things together”

Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on the scene in your mind. The thumping bass of the music, the flashing lights, the feeling of being lost in a crowd. A snapshot memory of a moment frozen in time. Fog on a highway. There, but untouchable.

“I remember the club scene,” you began, your voice distant as if you were reliving it. “The music was pounding, people dancing. And exit sign”

Bucky’s understanding gaze encouraged you to continue. “Go on”

“I remember wanting to leave. Then being stopped. Being grabbed” you continued, your words slowly coming together as you sifted through the recollections. “And then… I remember being dragged into a room. It was dark, and they offered me something. I didn’t want to, but they were insistent”

Your head hurt. The effort of trying to think back last the fog and the pain. You shook your head slightly to clear your mind, but it didn’t help. Anxiety rising in your chest as your body remembered something your brain couldn’t.

Steve’s jaw tightened, his concern deepening. “They forced you?”

You nodded weakly, your heart heavy as more memories started to resurface. “I think soz I remember it was aggressive. I felt trapped and scared. I didn’t know what was happening, but they… they made me”

Bucky’s grip on your shoulder tightened, his expression full of anger and empathy as he absorbed your words. Their meaning . “You didn’t deserve that, no one does.”

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions as the memories continued to resurface with more clarity. “After that, everything’s a blur. I remember feeling numb, disoriented. The edges of reality were all fuzzy, and I couldn’t tell what was real anymore. I just…I know I wanted to keep Wanda safe”

As the room seemed to fade around you, you could feel their presence grounding you, anchoring you to the present moment.

“And then?” Bucky prompted softly.

“And then, then I must have blacked out,” you whispered, a shiver running down your spine as you recalled the darkness that had swallowed you whole. “I woke up days later in a hospital bed. I was so confused, disoriented. It felt like I had lost chunks of time”

Steve’s voice was gentle but persistent. “Thank you for sharing. I don’t want to push, but do you think you could remember who you were there with, at first? Who you went to the club with?”

You frowned, your brows furrowing as you tried to sift through the haze of memories. It was as if you were grasping at fragments in a foggy mirror, the pieces eluding your grasp. “I- I can’t quite remember. It’s like some parts are missing, and the rest are so jumbled.”

Bucky offered you a reassuring smile, his eyes filled with understanding. “It’s okay if you can’t recall everything right now. Memories can be tricky, especially in times of stress”

You nodded, a sense of frustration mingling with your gratitude for their patience. “I wish I had more answers”

Steve’s expression softened. “You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for. The fact that you’re trying to piece this together shows that you want to help”

Bucky’s grip on your shoulder remained steady. “We’re here to support you, no matter what. And if more memories come back, or if you need someone to talk to, we’ll be by your side”

The weight of their reassurance was a comforting balm, soothing the ache of uncertainty that had been gnawing at you. The road to healing wasn’t easy, and the journey to unravel the events of that fateful night was like navigating a maze in the dark. You were taking steps toward understanding, toward forgiveness, both from those around you and from yourself, and you were determined to see it through, one memory at a time.

Steve knew this. Bucky too. They, along with everyone around you will do everything they can to get to the bottom of what happened that night.

But the way they looked at each other as you closed your eyes, tiredness washing over you again, spoke a thousand words.

They knew that what happened, what went on inside that club that night, wasn't by chance. And they needed to find out why.

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