Only Daughter - Tumblr Posts
me in my dreams. (in it I am not an only child and I have a little sister)
The thing about being a single daughter in an Indian household is the constant helplessness you feel. My whole life I’ve had to hear every single relative tell my parents that they’re going to end up on their own as I anyways belong to someone else’s house. Every time I see my dad struggling to do heavy lifting jobs, but will not let me help, I’ve had to live with the disgusting feeling of being a pointless existence. For every minute of every day my parents spend worrying about the only daughters safety in this horrible world, I wish I was not who I was. Having to live with the fear I might not be able to be there for my aging parents because ultimately in a conservative society where I have to survive, a girl like me will always be someone else’s property. To watch your parents give their literal life towards fulfilling the one goal they think is the most precious of all- your marriage… it feels sickening, which I’m sure most of us desi girls feel constantly. The helplessness turns into anger. Anger at the injustice of this fucked up society and it’s norms, anger at my parents for believing in them and worse… for giving me the understanding of right and wrong only to then tell me shut up and adhere to the baseless and stupid rules. This anger eats away at any happiness, hope and fire I have in me. As each day goes by, I barely have the strength to breathe amidst this helplessness.
Everyone talks about the independent eldest daughter (rightfully so). Still, we should also talk about us single daughters who have had to be the son and daughter of the house while also being the parents to our parents and ourselves. We grow up having no one else to rely on and learning to do everything on our own to avoid being a burden. We are the girls who live so much in our heads that we feel like the loneliness is a lifelong companion we are born with. We are the girls who don't need to and cannot ask for help because we learn very early on that only they are going to be there for themselves. This is for the single daughters who constantly feel misunderstood and always alone.
It's always the eldest child this, middle child that, youngest child this. It's never the only child.
Yes the oldest have the most trauma. Yes the middle is always ignore. Yes the youngest is always treated like a kid. But the only child is always divided.
The oldest complains, our parents became parents to our siblings not to us, because they were unprepared. But the only child, never had parents, their parents never grow up. They didn't had anyone to experiment other way so they stay the immatured parents.
The middle cries, our parents never saw us, because they were busy with others. The only child, was always seen, so much that they could not escape their eyes and have themselves to themselves only.
The youngest yells, our parents never took us seriously, because they never thought we can grown up. Yet the only child, remained a kid who had to act like a grown-up since the beginning because ‘You are the only one we have. ’
You can't say being only child is a luxury. Not when I'm always flaunted as a trophy but ignored as a child. Not when I'm treated like a male but expected to be kind like a female. Not when I see my parent's being better parents to other children which are not even their own. Not when I'm always divided between my parents. Not when I'm their hope but disappointment too. Not when they remind me, oh how they wish they had another.
I am the oldest daughter who parents their own parents. I am the middle child who decided for my own future because the adults ‘never understood’ me. I am the youngest son who cries alone silently swallowing their anger but cracking jokes to make my parents smile.
I am the only child. I will always be the one to enjoys loneliness.
It's always the eldest child this, middle child that, youngest child this. It's never the only child.
Yes the oldest have the most trauma. Yes the middle is always ignore. Yes the youngest is always treated like a kid. But the only child is always divided.
The oldest complains, our parents became parents to our siblings not to us, because they were unprepared. But the only child, never had parents, their parents never grow up. They didn't had anyone to experiment other way so they stay the immatured parents.
The middle cries, our parents never saw us, because they were busy with others. The only child, was always seen, so much that they could not escape their eyes and have themselves to themselves only.
The youngest yells, our parents never took us seriously, because they never thought we can grown up. Yet the only child, remained a kid who had to act like a grown-up since the beginning because ‘You are the only one we have. ’
You can't say being only child is a luxury. Not when I'm always flaunted as a trophy but ignored as a child. Not when I'm treated like a male but expected to be kind like a female. Not when I see my parent's being better parents to other children which are not even their own. Not when I'm always divided between my parents. Not when I'm their hope but disappointment too. Not when they remind me, oh how they wish they had another.
I am the oldest daughter who parents their own parents. I am the middle child who decided for my own future because the adults ‘never understood’ me. I am the youngest son who cries alone silently swallowing their anger but cracking jokes to make my parents smile.
I am the only child. I will always be the one to enjoys loneliness.
My dad loves screaming at me because of things that aren’t my fault </3
I don’t want to be a disappointment anymore