Panic Attack - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
For the past 3 days I’ve been waking up via panic attack and I just think that’s so Stanford Pines coded
Race Against the Clock
(search party / panic attack / "if only we could hold on")
***
"Where is she?!"
"Faye. Calm down. You're hyperventilating."
Wide, wild green eyes stared uncomprehendingly back at him. Faye's breathing did not improve. The thick clouds of dust in the air were no help for breathing or for seeing a damn thing.
"She... she..." Faye gasped.
"Dammit, Spike! Forget about her for a second! Ed needs our help here!" Jet shouted as he continued to furiously dig through the rubble that was settling all around them.
Spike scowled. The circumstances were not great. Faye's panic attack was the most useless thing that could have happened at such a critical juncture. Although, something lurked in the back of Spike's mind about the dangers of attempting a rescue before a structure had finished falling apart. There was a risk that Jet's hasty attempts to dislodge the broken portions of the building would cause more of it to crumble and it's not like they even knew exactly where Ed was in all the disarray.
"Faye." He cupped her face between his hands, palms pressing against her cheeks gently. "You are making things worse. Get your fucking shit together."
Cruel words but he didn't have time to baby her. Besides, Faye tended to react more immediately and aggressively to negative comments than to anything sweet and soothing. Probably something psychological to explore there but this wasn't the place for that.
As he'd hoped, his callous command sparked something in her. She stiffened beneath his touch and jerked back as her spine straightened up. Hurt warred with confusion in her gaze for a moment before her eyes snapped like green fire at him. She shoved past him without a word and started to sift through the wreckage of a different section of the collapsed housing complex.
Worry over the fate of the lost hacker was predominant in Spike's mind as well but he wasn't convinced she was trapped where the others were searching. Ed had discovered a trapdoor leading into shadowy depths underneath the apartments. He'd seen as much for himself in the video feed of her COMM call before the ground began to heave and the signal cut out.
She might be hidden under more debris than the others realized.
A shudder tore through him at the thought that she might not be buried alive at all. She might just be... buried.
No.
NO.
Wrenching his thoughts from that dark avenue, Spike threw himself bodily into heaving aside fragments of concrete and wood and whatever else had once shoddily held the apartment building together. If he could just find the remains of the stairwell... if that section had been built strong enough to remain intact while the hallways and everything else fell apart... if he could just get further down, deeper down...
The dog was with her, after all. The two most clever and resourceful members of the crew, trapped together somewhere in a place where they might not be getting much oxygen. Where they might be wounded or worse. How much time did they have? How long before there wasn't any air at all to breathe? It was a race against the clock - a clock they couldn't even see. A race they might have already lost.
Worst-case scenarios continued to plague his thoughts. He could hear Jet grunting with effort, could practically taste the tears on Faye's cheeks as she choked back sobs and choked also on the dusty air they were breathing in.
No.
Ed and Ein would be fine. They just needed to hold on... Spike and the others would get to them soon... if they could just... if they...
Dammit.
"Hold on, kiddo. We're coming for you." Spike muttered quietly, his throat tight with unwanted emotion and burning from all the nasty shit he was inhaling. "Just... hold on..."
Day 29 - Psychosomatic Bullshit
lol why not
life's ridiculous rn. I made this acc to be myself cuz I know none of my family members use tumblr but can i still do that? no. I hate my anxiety, i hate my life.
i just wanna live in peace without feeling like i'm gonna cry every other second or have a panic attack. i cant focus in school, in life. i can't leave my bed on worst days and even then it's mostly my stupid anxiety instead of not wanting to or not having the energy. my parents are toxic and i feel unsafe most of the time even if nothing physical has ever happened (well nothing big). i don't remember my childhood, i don't remember yesterday. i don't even get proper help for this all 'cause i can't put my emotions into words other than "I relate to this mental illness/disorder" and then get told "no, you possibly cannot have it because no one remembers your childhood/you're not distracted enough/you have all the things for this diagnosis but i can't do it because it's your own perception and you don't bother anyone else with your behavior" like please just help me or don't. do not give me the false pretense of helping me if you're not gonna listen to me, the actual person who has the issues. thank god i'm gonna be 18 soon and i can do this stuff without my parents, and go no contact with them. though is it possible anytime soon cause i barely function?
Hi again! Today's intry for Day Six is a gender swap AU that has a lot of lore but this is it's Vendetta course! Female Leon (Leona) & Female Chris (Christina) and other alter names! Do be warned of the tags :D
As always, the list belongs to @highball66 and the appreciated collaboration of the Chreon fandom!
Summary:
Christina couldn't even hear herself scream for the other as Leona grows four limbs with sharp edges that are embedded into Arias deeply. They went over the edge by the force inflected and down multiple stories… un-survivable to anything. She knew she was screaming something, but it went unheard to the uncaring wind.
✿𝕀 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕃𝕀𝕂𝔼 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦✿║A Steve Harrington x Reader imagine (Requested)
𝕄𝕪 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕀 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪'𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 :)
ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕕: 𝕀 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥? 𝕀𝕗 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝔻𝕄 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕗𝕚𝕩 𝕚𝕥 <𝟛
𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥, 𝕗𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗 (𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕒)
𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 𝟙𝟝𝟠𝟞 (𝕤𝕠 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕒 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘-𝕚𝕤𝕙)
You’re studying by yourself in the library stressed as hell over this biology essay that was due in 2 days, you aren't that behind y/n just calm down, you told yourself. But if you were being honest with yourself you were very behind, you shook your head trying to get yourself to focus.
You look up and do a double take because you spotted the most popular and gorgeous guy at your school, Steve Harrington. He was standing at one of the bookshelves reading a book. You and Steve are good friends, though you sometimes thought he could be a douchebag he was overall nice, and kinda cute in your opinion. You look back down at your work trying to focus again, you really had to finish this essay and you didn't need boys or anyone shaking your grade streak right now.
You’ve always been bothered with school, your fathers a lawyer so you try to live up to your well known family's expectations being the only child your parents have ever had. You think of how disappointed your parents would be if you didn't do well in school, you thought of your parents disowning you because you would be such a failure, a disappointment, a shame to your family. This was always a thought with you, being disowned, thrown onto the street or in an orphanage is your worst nightmare, even though you were 17 turning 18, it still bothers you.
You feel your eyes starting to water and your chest tightening, you could just feel all the stress building up inside you and you needed to let it out, but you couldn't. You were trying to hold it back as best you can the dark thoughts and feelings quickly manifesting in your head. Steve was still at the book shelf and you didn't want to make a fool of yourself, and plus there were other people around you trying to read or study, so you kept it in.
“Y/n hey are you okay?” you hear someone approach you that's when you looked up and you were met with none other than Steve. You shook your head at him and that's when you let it all out, the tears sobbing the pain, the everything. Having people feel sorry for you was also one of the worst feelings ever for you, you always felt bad that they would worry about you rather than thinking or doing something else, like you were taking up their time.
You hear a chair being pulled up next to you and feel a hand come around your shoulders, “Hey y/n its okay, tell me what's up hmm?” Steve says in a comforting soft tone, causing you to calm down a little bit. You see a few people staring at you two so Steve takes your hand and leads you out into the hallway so you two could talk in private.
“Y/n you don't have to say it if you don't want to, I understand, but I just want to help okay?” he says before sitting at a bench with you following.
“No Steve its f-fine I just feel emotional right now” you say wiping a tear from your cheek, “Well how can I help?” he asked with his eyes full of concern and tenderness making you feel more calmer, more confident.
You tell him everything from the essay, your family, the stress you feel everyday and how it's affecting you. You were letting him into the most sensitive part of your life, but you trusted him you knew you could.
He listened to you so intently and with interest and concern. When you finish he just stares at you, “I didn't know you were going through so much y/n” he says quietly.
You frown, “Hey there are people out there far worse than me, people without jobs, without parents far worse. At least I got you aye?” you nudge him making him smile. “I guess you’re right, but you're too young to deal with that kind of stress,” he turns to face you properly, “Promise next time this happens come straight to me okay? I don't care if it's 2am or pouring rain outside, give me a call or come out and find me. I don't want you to get hurt anymore okay?” you look down at your hands avoiding eye contact with him.
He uses his thumb and forefinger to pull your chin up towards him, “Promise?” he questions, you blink up at him, “Steve why are you doing this?” you ask him. To this he answers “Because I care about you, you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.”
You finally give in, “Okay I promise I’ll contact you next time this happens, there happy?” you giggle as he nods his head, “Yeah okay cool” he then looks relieved and happy. You two sit in comfortable silence for a bit, he catches your eye and says, “Do you want a ride home?”, “Yeah sure thanks I’ll just go grab my stuff and meet you in the car park yeah?” you reply, he nods his head before getting up and leaving.
You quickly grab your stuff from the library and rush out the doors, getting into Steve’s car you notice how clean it is. “Nice car harrington” you remark before he pulls out of the car park, he chuckles “thanks” as he turns on the radio for some music.
Later on that evening, long after Steve dropped you off, you start thinking about the whole situation that happened earlier in your head. ‘What does he even mean? He cares about me? And I’m one the most “amazing” people he's ever met?’
You shrug it off he was probably playing you like he did all those other girls, no one would even take a second look at you. You ignore it before you have another panic attack and start reading before you fall into a comfortable sleep.
The next day you felt slightly on edge, anyone that talked to you that morning you just shut them out no matter who they were, especially Steve.
“Hey y/n, how are you feeling today?” Steve says as he walks up to your locker, “Fine thanks” you answer moodily. Steve gives you a funny look, but chooses to ignore your apparent bad mood.
Throughout the whole day you felt that feeling you had yesterday slowly come back in, you didn't have a particular reason why, but maybe it was because your Biology teacher came over and started talking to you about the essay, or maybe it was because of Steve, or maybe it was your parents.
Whatever reason it was, it sure was giving you hell that day, you avoid Steve for the rest of the day too, leaving classes before everyone else, taking the long way to classes he was in about almost every class you took, and at lunchtime that day you sat in the library and study rather than meet up with friends at the cafeteria.
Steve knew there was something wrong so he left the cafeteria to look for you, he found you once again in the library.
“Y/n what's wrong?” he asks as he sits on the ground next to you, “There's nothing wrong Steve I just… I don't even know anymore” you close the book you were reading and start packing up, “I have to go Steve I’m sorry-”, you were cut off by Steve blocking your path.
“Y/n please talk to me, just like you did yesterday please” he begs looking down at you, you look down at the ground not because you were scared or about to cry, but because you got all shy and was blushing because he was standing so close to you that you could smell the cologne he uses.
You two walk out into the hall and face each other, ‘Just say what you feel y/n’, you take a deep breath.
“Steve I was thinking last night and what you said yesterday didnt make any sense at all, well to me it didn't” you stand there staring at him expectantly. He smiles and runs his hands through his mess of hair, ‘god don't do that’, you blink trying to stop yourself from thinking that way about Steve because it was weird. Right?
“Y/n I’ve kind of been wanting to tell you for ages but, I like you” he shrugs as he finishes his sentence, “Well yeah obviously or else we wouldn't be here” you say slightly confused.
“No y/n I mean I LIKE like you” he looks at you waiting for a reaction,
“Are you serious Harrington? Out of all the girls at this school that's hotter than me you like ME?!” you were in shock but at the same time you were giddy as hell.
“Yes, y/n I mean it I mean the whole thing, in fact do you wanna go to the park up the road? You know just for a little date or something.” he chuckles nervously as he waits for your answer.
You’d always had a crush on Steve for ages, and now he feels the same?! All the feelings you felt before all melted away to nothing, you were ecstatic.
“Yes of course I would Steve” you giggle as he scoops you up in a hug, for the rest of the day he couldnt get rid of the stupid grin on his face...
WOW slow the fk down kid😂😉
