Panic Attack - Tumblr Posts - Page 3

I have OCD , I just had my third panic attack today, now my hands are shaking,I just think about die,I feel weakness:))

Castiel x reader ~Guardian Angel~ (Dean and Sams Sister reader)

I do not own supernatrual or its charachters I am just writing to get better and make people smile. I do not earn money with this. If you like this please support the show.

Trigger warning: Panic attacks, selfconsciounes, might even a bit depression

What happens: The reader is alone in the bunker and has a panic attack, Castiel finds her and calms her down. A lot of fluff~

I do not mean to put this topics in a romantic way, I just want to show that is good to get help from the people you love and speak up about it.

The reader here is still a young teenager, so this is not meant romantically, more like two older brothers and a guardian angel Have fun ^^ Also I would be happy about comments and so on =) English is not my first language, please correct me if needed!

You were the younger sister of Dean and Sam. People probably would think you must be pretty badass. Okay, you were quite strong for your age and you surely knew how to fight, even when your brothers would never ever let anyone even touch you. You were their treasure. Their everything and they tried to keep you as save as somehow possible. Away from horrifying things and so on. So when ever possible they would demand from you to stay at your room at the motel or at the bunker. This night at least it was the bunker. Much more comfy and not only a single room. Your brothers were quite far away this time. Further then they would normally be, but since  Castiel could check-up on you when ever he or they thought good of it they did not think it would be a problem. You were not a little girl anymore and the bunker was the safest place you could be. Well at least safe against demons, ghost, witches and what ever else should decide to try and kill you. The problem was, your home was not protecting you  from something completely different. You had wanted to tell your brothers about it. You knew you could always tell them anything but you were afraid they could be worrying too much on the hunt if you told them or would not go and that would mean innocent people would dye, or even worse they could die. 'and it would be all your fault' it started again. The voice your own head was throwing at you, making you feel like a burden. ' you are broken, you  are in the way of anyone. You are just a burden to them. Seriously, they would be better of without the little girl they always of to watch. Oh how tired of you they must be. You can not even do a proper hunt. Have never killed any monster, do you really believe they want to protect your innocence, make sure you are not burden but that sin? Do not be hilarious they just do not think you could handle to kill a teddy bear a monster no less, pathetic...' please please make it stop...your breath had quicken by now, and it got harder and harder to breath, you felt like you were drowning, you know you needed help. Your legs gave up under you and you landed on the floor rather hard.  You knew if you would call him he would probably come, but you did not want to seem weak in front of the angel. You meant you barely knew him. Your brothers introduced you a few weeks ago yes, and yes they knew and trusted him since quite sometime. Still you just met him . It turned out you were always a sleep or they were not at the motel and when you met him, you just did not know how to react. You meant he was a freaking angel. You were normally already really shy. Up until now you managed nothing more than a hello to him and he seemed never to see the need to more words than simply that. Still sometimes he was looking at you strangely. 'He just wonders why they are keeping you around. He is an angel how weak you must look to him. When he finds out about this he will only find you more useless, just like your brothers, go call for him, call him and see what happens..' the voice mocked you. You always have been self conscious, because your brothers were so strong and you did not seem to be able to keep up with them. The few yeas you spent in school with the bullying happening there were not helping either. Now you were laying on the ground and sobbing terribly. Begging it to stop, your mind screaming for some peace. “Please help me...anyone ..please...cas...castiel...please help me...” you did not care anymore, what he would do or think as long as he made this stop. You could not take it anymore. You were trembling and fighting for air, when you suddenly heart something that sounded like wings..?  “(y/n) what happened?! Are you hurt? Who hurt you?” you were not even able to look up or answer him. Cas looked around the room for any sign of an enemy when he found nothing he already had a suspicion. Gently he got down next to you and gently laid his fingers on your forehead. He sighed when he found you in no physical harm. Still it was clear you were hurting and he was more than willing to help. “Ca-cas ?” you mumbled between sobs. “Hey, there little one.” he used Sams nickname for you in hopes it would help you a bit more to trust him. “ I-..I am ..so-sorry cas-castiel” “calm down (y/n), there is really nothing to apologize for. Okay, maybe you should not have lied to your brothers, saying you were fine, when you were not, lying is a sins you know.” he spoke but was smiling kindly at you all the time. His voice warm and gently. His voice was calming you somehow and in any other state you would have smiled about his words, but not now. Now your lungs were still screaming for air. “Ca-cas..” you whimpered and his eyes softened even more. Carefully he took hold of your arms and bulled you to his chest: “c'mere” He laid two of his fingers against your forehead and suddenly there was warmth. You felt your body instantly relaxing and your breathing getting to normal. You were still crying, but you were okay. It was over, it was finally over. Cas was softly rubbing your back and just for a moment you gave in to exhaustion and let your head fall against his chest. “ They are wrong. Not true at all to be accurate.” You looked up at him clearly confused. “Your thoughts” he gently let a finger ran over your forehead “ They are not true at all. Your brothers love you dearly and they are so proud of their little sister. They are just afraid that you could get hurt and they know how hard it is to life with the burden of the hunts. They just want to protect you.” You nodded weakly tears again threatening to fall. Then you realized something how could he know you were thinking about ...”Yes, (y/n) I am more than able to read your mind as you would call it, but do not worry about that. I still think the same about you. There is no need to be afraid ...if anything I think you are pretty strong. Keeping quiet because you wanted to keep your brothers and other people save even when you were hurting so much... I am sorry it took me so long. That one demon just did not know when to give up. I always worried this might happen one day. All this negative thoughts you had every time we met, or I just checked up on you without you realizing, made me fear  you might break under them one day. I always hoped you would turn for help to your brothers but since you did not and I did not want to take that decision out of your hands it came to this. (y/n) I really think you should talk to your brothers, they already realized something is bothering you and they worry because you do not talk about it.” All the while he was talking he was holding you in his arms. You felt like a small child but that did not matter, because you liked that feeling, you felt save for the first time in a long long time. “Cas..?” you asked shyly. He looked at you smiling since you started to pick up his nickname. He raised a brow at you waiting for you to continue “ I..I am ..I am scared...” You hid your face at his chest and nearly expected him to laugh about you, but he did not. He just hugged you tighter. “Then we tell them together? Would that help?” You nodded weakly. “Want to see your big brothers?” he asked and you looked at him surprised “Can I?” He nodded then thought for a moment “Yet you will probably feel pretty dizzy after that and they will be here in around two ours. They are most likely already on the highway. Still wanna go?” he asked you gently. “I think I can wait..” you spoke softly. Suddenly you felt Castiel move and out of reflex you hugged him back for the first time and begged “Please don't leave me alone” His gaze softened when possible even more. He thought you probably were one of the cutest things in this world. He had decided he should protect you when he first heart of you from the two brothers. He did not want them to be in pain because something happened to you, but when he first met you it was clear to him that he would gladly watch over you. Dean and Sam sometimes joked he must be your guardian angel since he was always an eye on you and sometimes worried in situations both brothers were completely relaxed about and sure you would be fine. Like cooking or slicing the bread. He was always afraid you could burn your hands or cut yourself. Still he kept quiet about all this. He learned from the brothers you were pretty insecure around knew people and since his human skills, like he likes to call it were a bit rusty, he was afraid to scare you off or something. But now that you were clinking to him like a lifesaver, he knew there was no need anymore for that distance. You felt save around him. “Do not worry, my dear. I am not going anywhere and I am certainly not leaving you. What kind of guardian angel would I be leaving my charge, especially when she is crying. I promise as long as I have a free will and the power to life I will watch over you and protect you. I will do all in my power to keep you from harm and keep your brothers save and alive and all three of us together will always keep you save. There is no reason to be afraid anymore.” He smiled as you snuggled a bit closer to him. “You are exhausted, you should sleep” he spoke softly. “Don't wanna...I want to wait for my bro-”yawn” thers” now you really sounded like a child you thought but you did not care. You felt like it was pretty okay for Castiel when you behaved like a child from time to time. That was a luxury you often did not have due to your family history when you really were a child.  You brothers always tried to make your childhood as normal as possible, but it was clear it was far from normal also you were still a teenager nearly still a child. You just went trough school really fast because you were just as clever as Sam, he'd say even smarter than him.“I will make sure to wake you when they arrive okay?” He stood up and carried you to your bed. When he turned away, you whined softly, emotions and exhaustion still having a hang on you. “ I'll be right back, little one, I just want to call your brothers telling them you are save.” You nodded. He was back shortly after and found you nearly asleep. Smiling he pulled the covers over you and gently touched your forehead making sure you would sleep deep and well without any nightmares.

When you woke up, you saw the faces of both of your brothers on each side of you, slightly leaning over you: “Hey kiddo~” Dean smiled at you and gently stroke through your hair. “Hey there little one” Sammy spoke and gently stroke your cheek. “Your alright? That angel there suddenly vanished on us, saying he had to look after you.” Dean spoke again. “Sorry...I did not mean to..” “hey its okay, no apologizing” Sam interrupted you. Then Cas came in the room and looked at you encouragingly. You took a deep breath: “ Guys...I need to tell you something...” when you finished you found yourself in a bear hug from both of your brothers and found Cas looking proudly at you.

Now when ever you began to feel insecure or began to feel panic or just had a nightmare you would find your brothers or call for Cas if he was not there already there the moment you even began to feel bad before you could even think of calling him. Sam would lay down with you pull you in a bear hug and read stories of calming worlds to you, while dean would tickle you from head to toe and cuddle with you afterwards. Cas would always hug you and tell you of heaven or places he has seen to calm you, when it gets all too much for you, he would use his powers, but mostly he wants you to learn to calm down without them, so that you would learn to handle the situations better and not fear them so much. All of them would listen to you and talk to you about it, often all three of them. Then you most of the time end up with hot chocolate and a disney movie even when Dean complains sometimes and Cas being confused all the time while Sam desperately tries to explain everything to the angle. This were the times you were more than happy.

I am here~

Trigger warning: Panic attack, stressed reader, lonely reader, forgotten reader  Summary: Reader is at a mikaelson ball she is terribly stressed and loses her friends in the crowd. Luckily Kol is there to help even so she did not expect him to~

 You walked through the door and fought your tears. It was hard so very hard not to cry but you had to smile and be happy. This was a ball for heaven’s sake. A ball your friends had wanted to go for complicated reasons. A ball hosted by your enemies even though you did not understand why you had to be enemies. Could you all not juts simply come along? Also, could you even still call them enemies? Things really have become complicated and this whole drama was getting too much for you. Still, you tried your best to smile not wanting to gain unwanted attention by… well actually everyone. Of course, you could not let your guard down in a situation like this but you also had to be careful of your friends, they could not know how you are feeling. You feared they would not understand. You were friends with the so-called mystic falls gang. You were nothing supernatural just a normal human. Yet somehow you got dragged in all the supernatural drama and you being yourself were always the one who would listen. The person who people came to if they needed to talk and that was fine. You were happy to help but in the last months things had become more and more stressing. Problems were chasing problems and your life around all the supernatural drama was a mess. You were a mess. You desperately needed a break, needed someone to talk to, yet every time you tried to take things slowly and to have a break something came up. Every time you tried to talk to your friends you find them struggling with their own problems and you felt like yours were not important enough, cause the subject was changed fast or people did not even realize you had spoken up. You felt more and more like a ghost and the last days you began to feel useless on top. Like you were doing everything wrong, and nothing was ever good enough. You knew this was not healthy you knew you needed help or you would break down and yet you did not know who to ask for it….if you should even ask for it. You were so focused on your thoughts that you did not notice that you had lost your friends in the crowd. You tried to find them, but it was no use there were just so many people. You felt like the music was getting louder and the room hotter. You could have sworn that the walls were closing in on you, but you knew that was not possible. “Relax, everything is fine. They are all just having a goo time” you mumbled to yourself. Sadly, your brain was still deeply exhausted, and your body stressed so your assuring words were not helping, instead you felt yourself panicking more with every second. You tried to get to the balcony to get some air when you ran straight into a solid chest. “Careful there, love. You could hurt yourself.” You realized the man in front of you had kept you from falling by holding you up by your shoulders.  “I-I am s-sorry” you stammered still struggling to breath. “Hey, are you alright darling?” You felt your chin being lifted and realized no other than Kol Mikaelson was holding you. You wanted to answer, you really wanted to, but you simply could not. It was like something was holding your words hostage silencing you against your own will. You felt tears filling your eyes. No, you could not cry, not in front of him. Not one of the Mikaelsons.  “I assume this means no. Come, love. Let us find a place that is a bit less crowded and noisy. “He put an arm around your waist, the other hand was used to guide people around you, making sure no one but him was touching you or coming too close.  He opened two large doors and you found yourself in a study.  He gently guided you to a coach and set down with you. To your great surprise he did not ask questions. “Try to take a deep breath, dear. Can you do that for me?” You tried but you felt like you could not do it. “I – I can’t…I a- I am scared…please…” you did not even know what you asked of him, what you wanted him to do, you just wanted him to make it stop. “Hey, hey, you are okay, you are safe, I promise you are going to be okay” He cooed. He gently put a hand on your cheek making you look at him. “You are going to follow my breathing until I tell you to breath naturally. You are safe with me. You are not afraid. “ You realized somewhere in your foggy mind that he was compelling you, but you were thankful for it.  He was breathing slowly and deeply still holding your shoulder and your cheek his eyes not leaving yours. You felt your heart slow down. You were exhausted and your eyes were falling close when he stroke your cheek “Just breath naturally now” he spoke gently and again to your surprise carefully pulled your head down on his chest making you lay down in the process. “You know it would be perfectly fine to cry, right? You do not have to pretend that you are alright. I already know you are not. It is okay, take you time…everything is fine…you are safe, love… It is okay to cry, darling…you are okay…everything is going to be okay (y/n) …I am here, and I am not leaving…I keep you safe.” You felt tears running down your cheeks while Kol whispered assuring words to you. Why was he even helping you? How did he even know your name? You had never been much of a topic in the whole drama mostly on the backside of it all.  There were so many questions in your head but when you felt your exhaustion taking over and you fell asleep in the embrace of the original the only thing you felt was safe.

Part 2

I hate being bad because of fear.

Sometimes, because of my OCD and trauma, I’ll avoid certain stuff. This can be hard to explain to others so it often leads me to lie or come off as passive aggressive when I’m asked to do a task/go somewhere/touch something that I’m scared of.

I know that avoidance is unhealthy and reinforces the cycle of anxiety, but it’s so hard to fight against and I hate being so scared and shaking and just having to act fine and stay stiff and quiet because I “shouldn’t act anxious” and am “scared of nothing” according to my mother.

Though, when I promise to do something or accept a task that I then avoid and never do, it upsets people, reasonably. I hurt other people to avoid my own fear and I don’t know how to help it.

I take therapy, anxiety meds, exposure therapy and I’m getting much better but it’s still so hard. I wish it could just stop and I could follow instructions without having irritational fear making me break rules and promises.

I don’t want to be a bad kid, I wish I could be the best kid out there, but that’s just not possible right now with what’s being asked of me.

Banner by @ alwaysribbit

I feel like people would still scoff and groan and complain of who I could have been even on my funeral.

I hate waking up from nightmares it's 4am I should be asleep not shaking in my bed over something that doesn't even exist

Currently about to have a panic attack because I have an essay due on Monday and I haven't even read the passages were supposed to use for our topic

Right here, right now

Magma

I’ve made it to eighteen leagues underwater Climbing higher But drowning beneath mountains

Breathing is dead to me Lungs accept only air And you provide only gravel

There’s not a noose long enough to dip its knot this low So my spindle claws can grasp its fray Seize its mass, and palpate over its bristles

Gravel cares not who I am It assuages stomach and throat with streams of dawny pills To alter my sense of color

But even under miles of quartzite Coarse amethyst Fractured glitz of oppressive perception

The surface of this ocean’s glassy clear I haven’t seen the sky But I know it’s evening hue is made for me

Hello! i love your cat villian one so much maybe do more??????

but ignore if not (AMAZING BLOG EVER)

The protagonist was dying. They were sure of it, they could feel it, this all consuming terror and in the way they couldn’t draw a full breath into their lungs, like it was funneled through a straw and it was killing them–

Their vision went blurry and they crumpled against the wall, curling into a half-hearted ball over their knees against the baseboard. There was blood splattered over their hands. They just–if they could just–a tiny bit of air–

A hand, warm and gentle, appeared at the nap of their neck, tipping their head up to look at their face.

The protagonist blinked, and the villain was there, and they were watching them die, and oh god they were going to get fired–

“Breathe,” the villain said, and it sounded like they were under water. A million miles away. Point Nemo. Their sister had told them about that once, in the middle of the night as they sat on the roof.

It must be so lonely, she had said, head tipped to the stars. To be so far from everyone else.

The protagonist had wanted to say, I don’t need to be far from everyone else to feel lonely. I’m Point Nemo, can’t you see? But they hadn’t, had just hummed something in agreement, and the villain was telling them to “breathe,” again.

I’m trying, the protagonist wanted to sob. I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying.

“Protagonist,” the villain cupped their face in their hands, and through the blurring of the protagonist’s vision, they looked absolutely terrified.

Which didn’t make sense, because the villain always knew exactly what to do in every situation. It was comforting to be in the shadow of someone who knew exactly how they fit into the world.

The villain said something, and the protagonist blinked.

“What?” they managed. The villain snapped their head to look up at them.

“I said, I’m calling your mom.”

Abruptly, terror was flooding their veins again, and they slammed the phone out of the villain’s hand and onto the concrete.

The villain just watched them, concern stark on their face.

“Protagonist–”

“You can’t call her,” they gasped out, chest tight. “She’ll worry and–I can’t do that to her, not after my sister, she can’t do that again.”

Point Nemo. One million miles away.

Really, though, just six feet down.

It felt the same.

“Okay,” the villain said, low and soothing, like they were a scared child. They were. “Okay, I won’t call her, but I need you to breathe,” they emphasized.

“I’m trying,” the protagonist bit out, sucking in air that didn’t seem to be doing anything. How could it not be doing anything? This was one of the worst things that could be happening to them, let alone in front of their boss. They were supposed to be stronger than this, they were stronger than this, so why were they shaking against the baseboard in the hallway of their base. Idly, they looked down at the blood coating their arms, and couldn’t remember whose it was.

“I don’t know how to help you,” the villain admitted, voice breaking.

The protagonist couldn’t get their hands to stop shaking.

If they could just draw a breath–

Blood is harder to get off than you would expect. It clings and clings and clings–

The villain followed their gaze down, and a moment later, they had a wet wipe in their hand, wiping down the protagonist’s hands with an efficiency they could never hope to imitate.

They flinched away from the cold of it a second too late, and the villain frowned.

“You’re okay,” the villain promised, and the protagonist wanted to believe them.

They still choked on the next breath they tried to take, and it hurt and was miserable and the protagonist just wanted it to stop.

The villain said something that sounded like their name again, and they wanted to respond but felt the words get caught in their ribs, and the villain vanished and–

They were holding a cat.

Their shoulders untensed immediately, hands curling softly into the fur, as softly as they could manage while shaking, and they bit their lip to keep from crying at how useless they felt. How could they not figure out how to use their own hands? They bit back a sob, because nothing was working and they couldn’t bear to hurt a cat.

The cat curled itself further against the protagonist’s chest, tucked into their arms in the hollow between their knees and their abdomen.

The villain was–oh.

Oh, the protagonist was so stupid.

The villain was kind, kinder than they deserved, probably, turning into a cat just to make the protagonist stop having a meltdown in their hallway.

The protagonist just needed to get their legs to stop being numb, and then they could stand up and go hide in the bathroom until their body remembered how to do its job, and stop bothering the villain with their stupid problems and panic.

And then, abruptly, the villain began to purr, rumbling into the protagonist's chest.

Some knot deep inside of them that they hadn’t realized existed uncoiled, and they sucked in a breath so deep they thought it would never end. They choked on it on the way out, but the villain simply kept purring, so they tried again, and again, until their vision unblurred and the ache in their lungs had vanished.

“Okay,” the protagonist murmured to themself. Sometimes, they could trick themself by talking in the tone they used on frightened children when out on patrol. “You’re okay, I’m okay, everything is fine.”

They moved to set the villain down, but the villain dug their claws into the protagonist’s arm, nudging their face into their bicep.

Are you really okay? They seemed to ask, and the protagonist didn’t have an answer to that. They could breathe, and feel their toes, and they could remember–oh.

They could remember.

Blood on their hands.

The villain started purring again, and the protagonist burst into tears, burying their face into the villain’s fur. The villain let them, nudging the side of the face every so often in a reminder to breathe.

They stayed like that, until the protagonist’s tears had dried, and their heart only panged a little bit when the villain jumped down out of their arms and onto the floor in front of them.

A blink, and the villain was in front of them again, eyes filled with concern as they grabbed onto the protagonist’s elbows.

“You’re okay,” the villain breathed, and then the protagonist was pulled into a hug so warm they never wanted to leave. “You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” the protagonist agreed, face tucked into the villain’s chest.

The villain simply hugged them tighter.

Point Nemo had never felt further away.

*Offers you a Dark Matter Airlock Scene fanfiction* Summary:

“You can’t do this!” Daz screams, fighting and writhing in the man’s grip.

It’s no use, the man is strong. Powerful. Even on a good day, when she isn’t exhausted from sneaking around and playing stowaway to save her and TJ, she’d still be nearly half his size, probably weighs even less. It’s almost too easy for him to pull her up by her arm, dragging her forward roughly against her will.

“Sure, I can!” The man with the scars laughs, as though this is some kind of sick little playdate. Daz’s stomach drops. “I’m barely breaking a sweat here!”

-

Alternatively; The airlock scene, except Kal follows through on protecting the little girl.

(Made for Whumptober day 7 "The Way You Shake And Shiver" and the Prompt "Panic Attack")

d'you ever just.. have a panic attack so hard you feel like a little kid again

My friend got me this little guy for my birthday and I've never related to a plushie more in my life. Thank you.

Dread

Like the world is on the brink of cracking, like someone is just about to call you with some bad news, like I'm on the brink of dying. What is this? Paranoia? Anxiety? A survival mechanism?

(Ahaha, Roger having a panic attack and noise filling his entire head go brrrrr!)

(I have never written animals, so here I go with my first snippet! 😁 I always thought there was way too less phobia-whump, so please enjoy.😄 Also, can anyone guess the dog breed?🙈)

❗(TW: Panic Attack, Severe Cynophobia, Humiliation, Blood)❗

#10 - Beg

"Fuck, get this thing off me!!", [Hero] screeched, trying to push themself further into the cold stonewall behind them.

"Goddamnit, [Villain]!!", they sobbed, eyes searching frantically for something like mercy in [Villains] face.

[Villain] just looked at them with raised eyebrows and was seemingly not the slightest bit interested in whistling their companion back. [Hero] grew desperate. "Get it off!!"

The amorphous shadow growled, ready to attack whenever it got the deadly command. "Get it fucking off, [Villain]!!"

[Hero] hated dogs.

German ones in particular.

The one in front of them was only held by the thin leash in [Villains] hand and pulled heavily into their direction. It would shred [Hero] into pieces, if their enemy let go. They just knew that.

[Villain] looked unimpressed. They made one step towards [Hero], who whimpered from fear. "I will, when you talk."

Desperately, [Hero] turned their face, blinking away the tears that started to rise in their eyes. The dog pulled ever so strongly.

"I can't talk!! I don't have anything!! I-"

Barking. Saliva. Teeth.

[Hero] squealed. They were gonna faint.

"Out!"

And it was quiet. The only thing audible was [Heros] heavy breathing. They sank against the wall with shaking legs; cold sweat was covering their ashened face.

[Villain] looked at [Hero] with a strange kind of fascination. "Your record says that you have a problem with dogs, but I never knew it was this severe.", they said, eyeing their enemy with a calculating curiosity.

[Hero] said nothing. Apart from the fear, the hot feeling of mortification rose in their chest.

They knew it wasn't rational.

Even though the fleabag [Villain] brought was a realistic thread, they shouldn't be standing there with quivering legs and tearing eyes.

[Hero] could handle worse forms of torture. All of them painful and degrading, but they could stand it. They could always stand it.

But dogs...

"You were attacked by one as a child, right?", [Villain] drawled and grinned when [Heros] eyes lowered in shame. "Funny that something so silly can drive you nuts now..."

[Villain] snickered and lightly pulled on the leash. "Up!" A deep growl emitted from the dark mutt that obeyed instantly. [Hero] could not avoid the cold shudder that ran down their spine.

"To be honest, [Hero], I didn't think you were such a wimp!", [Villain] mocked. The criminal saw the impact of their words in [Heros] abashed face and continued with a nasty smile: "For real, how did you even get so far in your fucking job? Probably slept yourself up, huh?"

"Fuck off...", [Hero] hissed and balled their fists. They felt the heat creeping up their cheeks. A huge clumb formed in their throat, making them want to vomit.

It wasn't rational.

It wasn't fucking rational.

[Hero] was strong.

Had the abilities to finish this in less than a minute.

Shouldn't even bother about [Villain] and their grilling, should've just turned and left this fucking situation.

It didn't work.

Didn't work because of those teeth viciously gleaming in front of them.

Paralizing.

[Villain] grinned and looked at their watch leisurely, unfazed by the trembling human in front of them. "You know, even though I love chatting with you, I need to hurry. My boss wants that info really bad."

[Hero] shook their head wordlessly. They had nothing. They couldn't talk, even if they wanted to.

The criminal ignored them.

"And also...", [Villain] casted a look towards their dog and looked back to [Hero] with a wolfish grin, "...she's getting hungry."

It was visible how [Hero] tried to collect themself. To force themself to keep calm despite [Villains] teasing and the growling of their companion.

[Villain] saw [Heros] fight for control, even though they were loosing more of it with every passing second.

"Well...", the criminal drawled and gestured towards the dog, "I guess we have a solution to that..."

They let go of the leash.

[Heros] eyes widened.

"[Villain], don't-!!"

"Sick'em!"

Brown-black fur was flashing into the light and [Hero] jerked up their hands with a desperate scream.

"NO!!"

The monster sank its' sharp teeth into [Heros] forearm. Crimson blood.

They violently tried to shake it off, but it didn't let go.

Wouldn't give up its' prey.

"Call it back, [Villain]!!"

It bit down again.

"Call it back!!!"

Oh god, it would kill them, if [Villain] didn't do something!

It would tear them apart.

Oh god, their arm.

"[Villain], do-" [Hero] choked on the words.

Docked tail.

Sharp teeth.

They couldn't think straight.

Listed dog.

Dangerous.

Their brain filled with black mist.

Couldn't breathe.

They were going to suffocate.

[Villains], voice, ringing in their ears: "Tell me what I want to hear."

Had nothing.

Gone in the abyss.

"I-I c-an't, I-"

No air.

They were suffocating.

Didn't [Villain] see that they were fucking suffocating?

[Hero] only shook their head. They couldn't breathe. There was no air around to fill their lungs with. Underwater.

A cold hand harshly grabbed their collar, pulling them up. "Calm down, you useless piece of shit!"

[Hero] yelped, when [Villains] fist connected with their ribcage. The crack was clearly audible.

"It's not that hard to talk, you fuckin' wussy!"

They dumped them on the ground.

Cold concrete. The smell of trash and piss in the run-down part of the city no one would search [Hero] in. Dirt that mixed with [Heros] own tears.

...And [Villains] voice, sharp as a knife.

They couldn't take it.

Couldn't take [Villain] standing nearby, as they gasped for the air that didn't seem to enter their lungs. Couldn't take it when [Villain] knelt down and grabbed their face with a cruel grin.

Where was the dog?

[Villain] only gave a chilly laugh.

"I sent her away." Then, sneering: "I can get her back if you want."

[Hero] frantically shook their head.

"I don't have anything!", they wheezed against the hands that had grabbed their wet cheeks. "Please, I don't have anything!"

An awfully triumphant grin formed on the criminals face. They pulled [Hero] closer.

"Huh...? What was that word?", [Villain] crooned in an almost gentle tone of voice.

Only now, [Hero] noticed what they just had said. Blood shot up their face.

"Say it again for me, come on. Or do you want one more round..?", [Villain] purred.

[Hero] sobbed.

No.

No more.

They couldn't take more.

Eventually, the need for survival pushed away the last bit of dignity inside of them, when they whispered:

"I-... P-please don't get it back... Please, [Villain]..."

The criminal pondered for a moment before shrugging their shoulders with a wide grin. "Hm. I guess you really are as useless as you claim. Still... Hearing you beg was worth the shot."

They stood up and gave [Hero] a last painful kick in their stomach.

"Tell me, does your team know what a sissy you are?"

[Hero] remained quiet.

The words hurt.

Hurt more than the kick, the broken rib or the arm.

Hurt, because they were true.

"If you were one of my henchmen, I would've killed you for being such a disgrace. You're lucky that your team is pitiful enough to keep you..."

[Villain] turned to leave, stepping out of the alley and whistling to get the dog. A last aspersion to put the boot in:

"Your weakness is really disgusting... You're pathetic, [Hero]."

[Villain] was long gone when [Hero] finally got up. Cold wind blew on their wet cheeks and their shaking body. Only too slowly, they managed to stop the wheezing. Took too long to get aware of their surroundings.

They were safe.

They were safe now.

With a pang, [Villains] voice echoed through their head:

You're pathetic, [Hero].

They let out a dry sob.

[Villain] was right.

It was true.

It was true and [Hero] knew it.

...They knew it wasn't rational.

Panic Attack

Whumpril 2023

Pleasure in Pain #4

Day 1: Panic Attack

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Contents: TW threatened with burning, TW panic attack, Vampire Whumpee, Female Whumper, Whumper Turned Whumpee, Begging, Fear.

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With Lilith’s hand rested lazily on the lever, Cordova could feel his vision blur as he started to zone out. He began to feel his heart pounding as if trying to escape, his body was working overtime to compensate for the speed of his heart rate. His breath was labored as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the world for him to breathe. He could feel the tips of his fingers tingling almost numbingly. He could have sworn that he could here his own blood circulating in his ears. His body was incredibly tense and yet he felt like his soul could leave his body at any second, if he had one that is. What’s happening to me? He had never experienced such an event, all he knew was that he wanted it to stop, but it wasn’t showing any sign of letting up. His chest was heaving and his hands shook against the silver restraints.

“Woah, no way.” Lilith looked on curiously. “You’re showing symptoms of a panic attack. I didn’t even know you could experience those. Fascinating.”

Cordova felt a his chest tighten as if a weight had been dropped on top of him, followed by a lump forming in his throat. What’s a panic attack? Am I really having one, is this normal?

“Listen, I’m not one for comforting, but maybe if I open the roof then you’ll snap out of it on your own.”

Through his wide-lens view, he saw Lilith pull the lever down enthusiastically. Almost immediately he was brought back to reality, his fight-or-flight trying to activate. He had never felt so much fear in his life, but he knew he never wanted the sun to touch even a hair on him ever again. The ceiling rumbled as the doorway to the sky was peeling itself away. He finally pushed the lump on his throat deep down and found his voice. He didn’t even think about what he was saying, it didn’t matter. “WAIT! WAIT! PLEASE! Please stop, please please please I’m begging you, please don’t let the sun in, please please, I can’t take it again, do anything you want to me, ANYTHING, just please don’t… d-don’t burn me.” Cordova continued to mutter incoherent pleas like a broken record player.

Lilith grinned from ear to ear as butterflies swarmed her stomach. She brought the lever to a middle placement to stop the ceiling from opening any further, but it didn’t retreat back. Cordova looked up at the ceiling and took a breath of relief as he laid his head back on the table.

“Oh, poor vampire. The sun frightens you so much that your own fear induces a panic attack in response to your trauma. I’d almost consider that human. But tell me, why shouldn’t I burn you? What’s going to stop me?”

Cordova lolled his forward so he could see Lilith. Her fingers danced along the lever as she leaned her back against the wall. How could I make her get away from that thing? He tried to think of what made her go over there in the first place. He remembered her faltering slightly when he cursed and threatened her, when he lashed out she seemed to want to correct his behavior. Is that it?

“Nothing to say? Well I tried.”

Lilith pushed the lever down, the opening grew wider. A ray of sunlight beamed past Cordova. His whole body shivered. “W-wait wait, stop, I-I’ll cooperate. Please stop it.” Lilith raised a brow, then leveled the lever.

“Cooperate? What makes you think I can’t force you to do what I want you to do? I mean, if you’re burnt to a crisp then that’s less restraint and struggling on you’re end which would make my job a whole lot easier, don’t you agree?”

“B-but, y-you don’t h-have to do that. I-I swear, you really don’t need to. I…” Cordova couldn’t believe he was stooping so low, so low as to apologize to a human, even begging to her put a dent in his pride, but nothing compared to the sheer force of the sun. “I’m s-sorry. Sorry for curs- c-calling you a bitch, a-a-and threatening you. I-I swear I won’t do that again, I’ll take anything you do to me w-willingly. I-I’ll answer your questions. Just please don’t do it, don’t burn me… Lilith.”

It showed on both of their faces that each of them were equally surprised by the use of her name, especially from a vampire. Lilith chuckled and sighed loudly.

“Well, how can I say no to that?”

Lilith pulled the lever up and the ceiling began to close. Any tension in Cordova’s body disappeared and he finally felt good enough to breathe. Lilith was practically skipping over to Cordova, humming amusingly. When she stopped in front of him, he could feel his chest start to tighten again.

“So, what should we get started with?”

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Date: April 1, 2023

Taglist: @turn-the-tables-on-them @whumpril

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How I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare, but I know I'm awake and everything is so fuckin real