Pcoscommunity - Tumblr Posts

Having PCOS genuinely feels like having a fully developed monster in my body. I'll be happy and strong one minute and in an instant, the only thing I want to do is curl up and cry until I feel my entire soul has been depleted of any emotions. Don't get me wrong, I have been depressed way before my PCOS symptoms started but I can still clearly remember the time of my life when I completely lost control of myself. One summer, when I was actually at the peak of my physical fitness, I gained several pounds in weeks, lost any and every will to live and realised that my body is no longer listening or responding to me. To feel that helpless, especially when your life is constantly stressed and every other person is forcing you to study more, work harder, eat healthier, lose weight and all you want to do is wail so loud it shatters the whole world. My parents keep telling me it's just me being lazy and I believe them and end up hating myself more. With all this mental torture, my body goes through such high inflammations that it genuinely feels like I am burning in hell for 2 weeks straight until my period does arrive. I wake up more tired than I went to sleep and don't remember the last time I felt good about myself. There is no medical help or emotional support and as always, I have to help myself. It is truly excruciating.