Please Read - Tumblr Posts
⚠️Attention!⚠️
TW:Animal cruelty
Someone named Jack Latiao/Xu Zhihui, has been stealing and torturing cats for fun. He has even influenced a worldwide online cult dedicated to it. They disguise themselves as 'Cat Lovers' and share videos on their cat abuse websites, as well as in public and private groups on various social media platforms in China. Jack Latiao is trying to come to America to seek political Asylum and threatened his life because of online violence and intimidation in China. You can check @feline_guardians on IG to see the evidence and sign the petitions in their bio. Use the hashtags #SaveCatsInChina and #StopJackLatiao to help spread this message so we can attract bigger entities to get involved and put a stop to this. These innocent kitties are crying out for our help; they need us to be their voices! Please don't ignore this.
PLEASE DON'T IGNORE THIS! THEY NEED OUR HELP!
TW: AN1MAL CRUELTY
DESCLAIMER: I'm really sorry I have to post this and I'm not sure tumblr is the right social media for this kind of things but I want to give this a try even if this post may be deleted. Explicit terms are censored.
If you want to protect your mental health I don't blame you and I completely understand. There is no picture or video under this post but this post is still explicit as it features news about an1mal ab*se.
This post was made to spread awareness about a horrible ongoing big scale case of an1mal abuse in China.
The goal of this post is to reach as many people as possible so that we can all reach out to authorities all around the world.
https://sites.google.com/view/savecatsinchina/home?fbclid=PAAaZ34LUAog9Op6tVDvO9KDpY96FEtHyqL-Axzj2y5WpmuBihjpF9hKQdygM
Please spare a minute to visit this website and send all the prepared e-mails to the authorities enlisted.
Keep spreading awareness about this case as much as possible on every platform as often as you can. Share the site link above everywhere with the hashtags #makepawslaws #savecatsinchina #justiceforcatsinchina on IG, tiktok and X.
Send e-mails to authorities all around the world to stop this massacre as soon as possible. Involve press and journalists in your country if you can.
This phenomenon is unfortunately spreading even further on an international scale, affecting and involving minors and teens globally. These monsters don't plan to stop any time soon.
As we netizens post, because in China there are no laws protecting domestic animals against cruelty and abuse, everyday cats - domestic and strays alike - are kidna**ed, beat*n, tort*red and murd***d in the most gruesome ways suffering an imaginable pain and videos with this content get uploaded on cloudflare, telegram and Asian social media like weibo for fun and money. Hundreds of cats have been k*lled last year and thousands and thousands in the last decade. Never stop sharing anything about this case. All the innocent and defenseless victims who ended up in this carnage deserve justice. Never forget about them.
Quick PSA, if you get one of those "Work scanned, AI use detected" comments on AO3, just mark them as spam.
Some moron apparently built a bot to annoy or prank hundreds of authors.
There is no scanning process, your work doesn't actually resemble AI writing, it's all bullshit. Mark the comment as spam (on AO3, not the email notification you got about the comment!) and don't let it get to you.
Spreading this to here as it is very important !!
(I was not the creator of this doc, it was created by stirringjuice on Twitter, I’m simply posting it on this site to make people here aware of it)
POV : you have a crush
left-side
Why would I think that the now-lifeless wooden bench is more comfortable then your warm shoulder?
My head is drawn to rest,
A gravitational, undeniable pull,
The silence softens,
I feel it.
There's a weight in the left-side of my brain,
And it's bringing me to you.
My breathing slows,
I sleep,
It stops.
Okay. The Alex callout is so fucking wishy washy that I’m genuinely getting whiplash. When I first read Ven’s callout document several days ago, I honestly skimmed it because I’m the type of person who has always just assumed callouts are fully honest. And siding with the victims immediately is always a must, especially if it’s about grooming minors, or severe abuse. At that time I was also under the impression DB was a minor, thus I automatically denounced Alex Kister. However, last night I wanted to see any updates regarding this development and I’m so glad I saw Ven’s tumblr post before he updated it, because it provided vital information (such as reminding everyone DB is an adult during all this) and I was able to see people’s responses to it. I decided to reread the document with this new, updated information in mind and I’m very upset with how badly this has gotten. Particularly about how feeble Ven’s doc is and how some of the things they said rubbed me the wrong way. For now, I’m just pointing out some things that really stood out to me with how much it didn’t make sense or it was particularly antagonizing toward Alex.
So… in the tumblr post Ven made, they were saying that the point of the doc wasn’t to say Alex was a groomer. And yet they made it VERY CLEAR that Alex’s gender identity was, in their opinion, a way for Alex to “lure victims”. Basically calling a transfem a predator cuz she expressed her gender identity AND sexuality relative to her gender identity to her partner and not minors. but Ven was also backing up from that claim, which clearly was the whole point of the doc???? But it was never stated in the introduction of the document. So first of all, I thought that was weird. It just said “Alex’s predatory and manipulative behavior.” Here we go.
So. Apparently a content creator wanting to make friends and connect with people is parasocial? Sure, content creators have to be aware of their “high status” or whatever, but i think people are also weird for idol worshipping in the first place. Alex (which I’ve seen stated uses any pronouns) has been self aware about parasocial relationships from the beginning and he’s not saying he never was aware of it. 😐 but several screenshots of him explaining himself tells that he never even thought about the potential power imbalance— he wanted some fucking friends.
These screenshots would show someone expressing their discomfort and assert their boundaries. And Alex always seemed very genuine in their apologies and would acknowledge the person’s feelings wholeheartedly. None of it was brushed off by her in the screenshots. She never downplayed anything. And yet you guys are still offended???????????????? Let me get this straight. You want someone to own up to their mistakes and apologize for making you feel weird, but when they do, you’re somehow still upset? Hm. Make it make sense. Like what the fuck you want, blood from a rock??????
By the way, what’s transphobic to one trans person might not be transphobic for someone else. As a gender-fluid person, I’m not going to be pissed off if a different gender fluid person “”“changes their gender every day”,””” (i say this particular thing because I’ve seen people act very upset over it while others aren’t) because it’s not my fucking business and it doesn’t affect me or my daily life. If they’re comfortable and happy, that’s all that matters. I have no say in what other trans people makes them comfortable with themselves. What’s transphobic is invalidating another trans person’s gender identity, expression, and sexuality, (which CAN co exist by the fucking way) and demonizing it just because you don’t like that person or you don’t want to try and understand them. Just so you know. :) that’s like misgendering someone on purpose just because they’re a terrible person, or saying neopronouns are invalid.
Here’s the thing: when you’re exploring gender identity, you’re not going to get it on the first fucking try. From what I’m seeing in the docs, this was Alex around the time they were first stepping into that comfort zone. They were trying new things. Wanting to feel comfortable. Wanting to be validated. Wanting to connect with other trans people. That’s what every trans person wants. You seriously shamed her for that? To the point where Alex admitted they felt so ashamed of their gender expression that they lied about saying it was joke? All to reassure everyone and make people feel better? Fuck you. You don’t fucking get to say what someone should and shouldn’t do regarding their body and gender— he wasn’t saying explicit things to the minors. Not stuff similar to what was said to Ven or D8 so why the fuck is anyone tripping??????
I will say that I understand why Ven would be concerned about this in the first place since when they dating Alex, Alex did make sexual comments about wanting to wear their clothes and look like them. I get it. But Ven, you were his partner, obviously when you guys were comfortably having intimate discussions that he’d be willing to share vulnerable desires with you regarding gender identity woven with sexuality. But why did you automatically, outside of your personal conversations with him, try so desperately to search for that in his convos with other people? When they had nothing to do with you I understand wanting to be concerned and looking out for other people but this was so blown out of proportion that it’s insane.
Alex trusted you so much. And one thing I was really disgusted by was the creepy ass way of you posting screenshots of his sexual fantasies. If Alex does decide to post YOURS you sent to HIM, you have no fucking right to be upset over it, okay? :) fair’s fair, my dude.
So this screenshot being posted after Ven writing in the document “venting to a minor about his sexual frustration” all I have to say is Ven what the fuck are you talking about? being touch-starved isn’t Inherently sexual. Why the fuck is Ven saying this is sexual frustration. ?????????????????????????????????????????? So it’s sexual when it’s said to a minor? Oh okay, good thinking, Ven. /sarcasm. I didn’t know cuddles and hugs were bad. I guess grown adults shouldn’t cuddle their children, or adults can’t hug their child family members. Idk what to say about the “I wish you lived closer thing” tbh because i don’t know what the person said— it could have been taken out of context. Which brings me to my next point.
Ven stated there were people who came forward with their own screenshots of what Alex said. But if someone is going to crop them into tiny little boxes and obscure what the victim said before and after, it’s going to be pretty fucking difficult to even make a proper judgment on whether or not the context is inappropriate, or if it was said to the actual victim themselves in the first fucking place. Sure, the screenshots aren’t fabricated, but we don’t know who the fuck they were sent to. That’s on y’all.
Btw I’m so fucking convinced none of these ppl have ever experienced normal, healthy friendships or relationships, oh my fucking god. No fucking basis for proper judgment, imo.
One thing that also pissed me off was Ven targeting Alex’s mental health and symptoms throughout the doc. They targeted Alex’s paranoia and suicidal tendencies. First off, I’m pretty sure everyone part of tmc + the fandom know that the most prominent themes of tmc are SUICIDE and religious trauma. I once saw Alex post a tweet about various poetry written during his high school years venting his depression and suicidal ideation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation way before that. I’m gonna be so honest, after seeing the way Ven twisted a lot of this around, when I look back on Ven saying “Alex said he’d kill himself if I broke up with him” makes me think Alex could have said something like “you mean a lot to me and I’d be devastated if we split.” like. I can’t be the only fucking person who thinks this. Alex has always been self aware. I know he’s really struggling right now.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!! You either genuinely don’t know what paranoia is (symptom of mental illness) or you, of course, are genuinely trying to demonize an aspect of someone’s symptoms they can’t control. All to justify your bullying against Alex. Maybe research what paranoia is, and you’d be more understanding of Alex.
Mental illness doesn’t fit into your neat little boxes, by the way. And everybody experiences mental illness differently, so don’t act like you 100% know what someone is going through. I understand wanting to see the people you care about getting therapy and professional support. But you don’t have the right to demonize them when they aren’t being outright shitty.
Not to mention, every single fucking time Alex would explain their feelings and perspectives, Ven, you would shut them down in the doc. Invalidating Alex’s feelings. That’s the sort of thing manipulative people do, just so you know, Ven!! The same type of person you claim Alex is!!! Don’t throw stones in glass houses. That’s coward behavior, and projection is damaging to both parties.
Im gojng to be so deadass right now. If I could nitpick every single little detail in Ven’s document that I found weirdly uncomfortable or suspicious or confusing, I’d be making my own goddamn google doc which would be two or three times as long as Ven’s.
This entire matter genuinely could have been dealt with privately. Alex even expressed that and Ven shut him down!!! Do you know how fucking frustrating that is? And no, Alex never shut you guys down so don’t even try and twist the blame back onto him. You wanted him to own up to what he’s done and said, but y’all don’t want to do the same. Sigh!
Also, what the fuck is the takeaway supposed to be? Y’all said he isn’t a groomer. Ven said somewhere in the doc that people aren’t trying to be transmisogynistic. But clearly you are fucking using Alex’s gender identity against her. I hope you burn in hell. Also, since none of the minors were being groomed, what the fuck are you trying to prove?????????? That wanting friends is fucked up and evil???? That you and D8, grown ass adults who were consensually engaging in sexual conversations with Alex, were fucking manipulated? Evidence shows you guys were comfortable with expressing your discomfort and asserting boundaries, but like I said, y’all are still pissed off Alex took accountability. You’re adults. Act like it.
I could go on and on about this shit but these are the key points I wanted to bring up. I saw the post that donut made and I read through it thoroughly but since there is no evidence suggesting Alex was grooming minors, and he was genuinely apologizing for making Donut and other people uncomfortable, it honestly came off as a kid (kids shouldn’t even be in online without a fucking parent’s supervision anyway) being a kid: immature. So I genuinely do not give a fuck. Have your parents watch what people say to you online.
I’m a 23 year old adult who’s been in both toxic and healthy friendships and relationships with people and I can honestly say y’all are fucking stupid for even writing these dumbass callouts. I’m looking forward to Alex’s response and I will be supporting him unless there is substantial evidence showing Alex is a bad person. Ok?
Feelings and perspectives are valid and important on both ends. You don’t need me to tell you that. The point of this post is that the doc was very feeble and lacked proper documentation at numerous points. you shouldn’t purposely misconstrue Alex’s words and actions just to make him look bad, especially if your evidence (screenshots, in this case) isn’t consistent or fully exposed. I will mention what I said earlier: plenty of people here, from what I saw, were able to express their feelings and assert boundaries just fine and Alex was completely open, and whoever needed that help definitely got it. Despite everything that has happened, I’m glad people did have others who understood what they felt.
I may be editing this post if I find I think certain things need to be (re)addressed or corrected. Because like I said, there are various things I want to point out. Stay updated or not!
We finally have the names of all the victims who were slain in the Atlanta shootings.
Soon Jung Park, 74
Hyun Jung Kim, 51
Suncha Kim, 69
Yong Ae Yue, 63
Xiaojie Tan, 49
Daoyou Feng, 44
Delaina Ashley Yaun, 33
Paul Andre Michels, 54
Ever since the coverage of the shootings began, I’ve been obsessively checking the news for updates on the victims. The name and the image of the shooter were plastered EVERYWHERE, but nothing about the victims. It took THREE DAYS for us to learn all of the victims’ names.
Something like a dam burst inside me once the final names were released and I couldn’t stop crying. 6 of the women were Asian immigrants. They were somebody’s mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, grandma. They could have been MY mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, grandma. I see their names and I think of how much they must have given up to come to America and how much xenophobia and racism they endured, just like my own parents. My parents didn’t immigrate just for fun, they were escaping communism and they desperately wanted better opportunities for themselves and their families. These victims suffered so much to earn a place in American society and now it’s been cruelly taken away.
Unfortunately, their families will continue to feel pain and suffering despite the victims’ best attempts to provide them better lives.
I don’t want to put qualifications as to why anyone should care about the pain the AAPI community is in right now. (ex. If you like kpop or anime or Asian cultures, you should support AAPIs!) Honestly, if you are a human being capable of basic sympathy and/or empathy, you should care. But the fact of the matter is, I see very, very little being shared about the shootings and I’m greatly disappointed in the kpop fandom. I know tumblr is not the place to be getting news, everyone is dealing with pandemic exhaustion, maybe people are trying to give grace to AAPIs and not talk over them, etc.
But like….just 2 days before the shootings, everyone was chatting about how racist the Grammys were by using BTS fans to get their ratings up, but refusing to give BTS an award (which is also a valid discussion). Where did everybody go?? You don’t have the ability to reblog a few support links here and there? You were ready to fight over the Grammys, but not for racial equality?
I’m truly astounded by the stifling silence and genuinely hurt by the kpop fandom. You guys know BTS is Asian, right? Or do you only view Asians as a source of entertainment and not actual people in your community??
To be honest, I’ve been struggling with processing my feelings with these recent events. Growing up, I was taught to suffer in silence. My parents would give advice like if you ignore the problem, it will eventually go away. Keep your head down, work hard, and you’ll get by just fine. Someone else always has it worse than you so don’t complain.
But at what point do we allow ourselves to acknowledge our pain and suffering? I’ve been called slurs and hit on by gross men with Asian fetishes and all I could really do was keep my distance so that they wouldn’t hurt me. In the back of my mind, I always knew something worse could happen to me than these seemingly minor incidents, but I never felt I had a “right” to be upset – you know, since I was still alive – until now. Until members of our community started dying. It’s unfortunate that the conversation about anti-Asian racism is only starting now, when we’ve been dealing with aggressions for the past 150+ years.
To my fellow AAPIs, I want you to know I am here for you and I acknowledge your pain. Thank you for reading this.
HIIII my name is Alaina
Im a beginner artist She/her I'm Hispanic (I don't know Spanish 😔) Simps for men and women 😋 (im pansexul)
My current Fandoms I'm in:
MM (mario madness)
TRANSFORMERS
FNAF
FNF
And More!
DNI
Proshipers: get the fuck out.
R##ist people: get out.
ECT: things are disgusting or weird
bringing this back because chain mail has been appearing again
guys please understand i really do love the fact that you are looking out for me and i am very fucking grateful for that because i am such small creator and it genuinely makes me happy when someone notices me and sends me some love
i just really dont like chain mail please dont do this
im not saying this because im trying to be a jerk i just dont like these kinds of asks
please understand
just a little personal thing i'd like to say to the fam
i really appreciate your asks and i love you too
i really do appreciate the fact that you thought of sending me this and i do love you
i won't be answering them though
chain mail is something i had bad experience with in my childhood and even if they contain stuff to make you happy or just simple compliments i don't like them and won't be reacting to them
it gives me a feeling of worthlessness because gifts and compliments are something very personal and as i believe are supposed to have a soul and carry a message from the sender
this feels like mockery and i am very sorry to disappoint you with this
i hope you will understand
please no more chain mail
i am sorry
i love you
tagging a few members:
[please tell the others too because i would want to refrain from misunderstandings]
@c00kietin @kredena-dark @winkwonkblog @itz-rona220 @trashyandtiredsol @mikebeanz @ender-outlaw @ofthefrogs @arise-children-angel-is-here @diona-98 @fluffyr0cky @buny1 @mightyanxiety @cuddlebugmonster @circusinarun @skrapa-doodlzz @minophlia @ilikestarfoxturtles @oneshortlove
so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what
Hiatus
Hello, Lab Crew! Sorry to disappoint you, but LAB RABBITZ content will be on a hiatus, possibly for months.
Why exactly? Well, I won’t go into detail, but me and Kirbeep-P (also known as Ash or Goob) have cut ties. Reasons will be private, but it will be hard for me to think of a way to continue things without the input of my co-creator. Content will be really slow until either:
A.) Ash and I are able to be friends again, or:
B.) I find a way to continue the series and substitute everything (and everyone) that will be removed if Ash never comes back.
I hope you all understand.
a few reminders because i’m tired and angry
fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism
adult women aren’t inherently creepy for being in fandom and having hobbies apart from raising babies and doing taxes
the vast majority of people pushing back against the worrying trend of instigating harassment over fictional characters and relationships aren’t incest supporters or pedophiles, actually
liking a m/f ship doesn’t make someone a dirty heterosexual invading your space
preferring gay ships doesn’t make you ‘’woke’’ and good
no one owes you a disclaimer that they are a good person who recognizes that their favorite fictional villain’s actions are evil and that they don’t condone those actions irl
liking a fictional villain is in no way comparable to advocating abuse/murder/genocide/etc and you’re a fucking idiot if you believe that
just because a woman is attracted to a fictional villain doesn’t mean she’s promoting toxic relationships or going to end up in a toxic relationship. assuming women can’t tell fiction and reality apart stinks of internalized misogyny
some rando’s a/b/o fanfics have none of the level of influence that popular tv shows and movies spreading propaganda have
no one owes you a detailed description of their traumas and mental health problems
abusive relationships are not the same as enemies to lovers ships
y’all need to chill the fuck out over people, relationships, actions and events that don’t actually exist and learn how to enjoy and discuss them like normal people
fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism
feel free to add more
Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.
Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.
Attention artists, art theft!
Saw this post by rosebloom-arts and decided to check it out. Turns out she is not the only person suffering from art theft by this website, making profit from printing posters of peoples artwork without any premission whatsoever.
I saw i lot of artworks including my own and from a lot of other people!
This is the website. If you search you name you will find some of your artworks they are using. And here is the petition to end this website.
This is affecting a lot of people, not just myself and if you are an artist either by photography or drawing they are most likely stealing from you too.
So check it out and sign the petition, please.
INTRODUCTION!!!
Ah! Scary! I'm introducing myself! Anyway, Hello! I'm Grem, welcome to this Cave that I call my blog. I probably won't be posting much fandom content rn due to college work, but I'll probably post some college work cuz, eh, why not.
Anyway enough of the random shit, let's get to the nitty gritty stuff about me and this cave and its contents.
Info!
Name: Grem/Gremlin
Pronouns: surprise me! Idc what you use!
Age: 17
Artist status(?): Hobbiest/Education
⚠️ BLOG WARNINGS⚠️
THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT I MAY POST THINGS WITH THE FOLLOWING CONTENT/THEMES/IMAGERY! BARE IN MIND THIS LIST MAY BE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!
Light/(rarely) Heavy Gore.
Body Horror/Horror in general.
Substance use (Alcohol and Drugs).
Suggestive jokes.
(Artistic) Nudity.
Mental health issues/struggles.
Eyestrain.
If I post anything involving ANY of these subjects/themes/content, they will be tagged accordingly, (and if needed) will have trigger warnings, and be hidden under cut.
FANDOMS!
ooo! The fun stuff! Here's the following Fandoms that I'm mainly (and currently) apart of/enjoy content of!
Splatoon!
Welcome Home!
Smile for Me!
Dialtown!
Alton Towers!
Overall interests!
This is all the stuff I enjoy outside of Fandom content!
Anything Paleo!
Bugs!
Marine life!
Character designing/monster making!
Biology based sciences/study!
What content will I post?
What I plan to post here (and hopefully follow through with) is...
Fanart/Fanfics.
Animations.
OC Content.
College Work/Concept art.
Final Words!
Wow! We're at the end! Crazy. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be posting on here more often than before, and as for my final words, all I gotta say is I hope you enjoy my content and if ya don't, oh well!
(Posted: 7/1/24)
(Updated: - )
Literally crying happy tears 🥹 such amazing story telling and omg everyone needs to read thjs
With Love, Jay
pairing: guitarist!Jay x violinist!fem-reader
synopsis: Who knew young love could be so alarmingly disarming? Your new neighbor had you before a hello, his cute smile and charming first impression; you were doomed from the start. But what happens when it’s not your attention he was playing for? Will your efforts to make things work fall short or would they have him falling instead?
w/c: 14.7k
warnings: one sided pining, ANGST….,but a happy ending, jay annoying, Y/N is too nice </3, other than that there’s nothing! lmk if i’m missing something!
a/n: okayyyyy those requested this Jay best friend to lovers AU with a lot of angst…. this for you. i wasn’t sure how to feel about this since i’m not super confident in my angst but nonetheless please and enjoy and can you guess who’s the next installment in the series ? :* likes and reblogs are encouraged!
happy readings! - With Love Series
playlist;
Keep reading
Oh my goodness…. This was, no IS such a good jay fic! I literally felt every emotion while reading this (in a good way lol). No words can describe how beautifully written this fic was! Please give this fic a read!!!
Novocaine
pairing: guitar rocker!jay x bartender fem!reader
synopsis: Your job requires you to deal with all types of people, but you didn’t mind since at the end of the day you were getting paid– paid good. However, when a band comes for a permanent gig you’re faced with a dilemma that all hot rocker cliches were true, unfortunately. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the time and day to come in and shuffle your life into a mess, right?
Warnings: mature concepts (minor friendly!) , drinking, smoking (W33D HA), Y/N lowkey going through it, suggestive content (kissing) and indication of drug usage (non-mcs!) not proof read!
🗒AN: FINALLY A BAND AU, everyone will make a band AU one day but in celebration of Jay coming back home we have guitarist Jay! Honestly while writing this I didn’t expect it to turn the way it did (I was going for full-on band AU but I can’t resist when I start writing 💔). Thank you to my bff bb @enaus for helping me in the process ilysm. Honestly rereading I’ve mentioned how this is just my badboy! Jay from my trope series in another universe LOL but please enjoy!!
Reblogs and feedback are always welcomed so make sure to like and reblog! See you at the next one <3
happy readings! ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭
©2023 , dazed-hee . please do not repost , plagiarize or translate anywhere this is my only blog thank you!
“Yo Sinners! What happens in Sin City stays in Sin City so let loose and have some fucking fun!”
Ah— escaping responsibilities, consequences, and past indiscretions were all things welcomed in Sin City. A chance to live without thought and judgment surrounded by others who craved for the same fall of grace, but if it meant you’d spend a couple of bands on drinks and VIP lounges— then you were always welcomed here. While others came to escape their mundane lives you came to Sin City to escape your dreadful one. You weren’t sure what aspect you were running from, lack of knowing the next time you were penniless or the redundant meetings with your advisor about what you were going to do after graduation if you ever make it that far.
Keep reading
I feel like this is an important post to make, even though I don't have a big following at all, I firmly believe even the smallest accounts should use whatever platform they have to spread their words. I'm aware that not everyone can donate, but a simple reblog of ANY post can help it reach a wider audience and help even more people in Gaza. I will reblog this myself with links to donate helpful causes, and I'm gonna tag the hell out of this to reach as many people as possible.
We all have a part to play in this terrible genocide. Just because they're far away doesn't mean that there's nothing we can do. If it was your friends, family, or children, or even neighbours, I'm sure you'd all want the world to stand up and speak up too.
https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/how-you-can-help/emergencies/gaza-crisis
https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/fundraiseforgaza
https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/giving/appeals/palestine/gaza/
https://www.unicef.org.uk/donate/children-in-gaza-crisis-appeal/
https://www.gofundme.com/f/escaping-gaza-to-pursue-my-dream-in-medicine?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-mahmouds-family-in-their-struggle?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet-first-launch&attribution_id=sl:1fe2bf9d-c9c6-46c7-8294-a4d4cf46efb1
https://www.gofundme.com/f/helping-the-people-of-gaza-mutual-aid-fund?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet-first-launch&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer
https://www.gofundme.com/f/zpxgh7-for-gaza-who-believes-in-the-power-of-humanity?utm_campaign=p_cp+fundraiser-sidebar&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
I feel like this is an important post to make, even though I don't have a big following at all, I firmly believe even the smallest accounts should use whatever platform they have to spread their words. I'm aware that not everyone can donate, but a simple reblog of ANY post can help it reach a wider audience and help even more people in Gaza. I will reblog this myself with links to donate helpful causes, and I'm gonna tag the hell out of this to reach as many people as possible.
We all have a part to play in this terrible genocide. Just because they're far away doesn't mean that there's nothing we can do. If it was your friends, family, or children, or even neighbours, I'm sure you'd all want the world to stand up and speak up too.
A cute guy likes me on a dating app. After chatting with them for weeks, we decide to go on a date. They are very flirtatious and forward over the app, but not when we meet in person. He admits he thought I was transmasc like him, we laugh about it because his mistake is funny and means I'm not passing but in a silly backwards way. I think his sudden awkwardness in person may be nervousness and flirt with him in ways less forward and aggressive than he'd been flirting with me earlier, and they become cold and distant for the rest of the date. By the time I get home they've blocked me on the app we met on. This case of being mistaken as a transmasc on a dating app will happen 3 more times, and in 2/3 times it results in a similar sudden lack of interest where once they were coming on to me. None of these people will be cis.
I am in a self defense class for queer people, learning hand to hand combat as a community. I have been here months. I notice I'm the only transfem in the classes but there are other trans people there so I don't think much of it. Today I have some stubble as I did not have time to shave before the early morning class. When discussing unrealistic action movie and anime fight scenes I describe on of my favorites, quoting the lines as I pantomime the goofy moves. They smile and laugh along until the word bitch leaves my lips in one quote, then the bisexual woman who only ever they/thems me glares at me like I've committed a grevious crime, and the rest of the class looks at me like a freak in awkward silence for a moment before moving on. I learn bitch is not a word a clocky bitch can "reclaim". I am quiet in classes now, and when I go I focus primarily on the training, when I see other trans women try it out they often give me a sad look and do not return for a second class. I get a sinking feeling that if I ever use this training to save my life one day I'd be branded a violent man instead of a strong woman.
I am texting with a good friend of years who was one of the people who helped me realize I was trans like them and even the one who helped pick out my name loves talking about our shared interests and sharing their favorite smut with me. We bond over favorite stories, artists, characters, and kinks as well as our trans experience. Yet they constantly tell me they could never date someone who's AMAB because of the trauma of being "female socialized" and their genital preferences for vulvas. Every compliment they have ever given me on my appearance or outfit is followed up by "but in a non-sexual way, I could never date you". Today I finally have the courage tell them they don't need to say that every time. They ignore this response. We keep talking for awhile, but they start taking months to respond to my messages and respond with a short sentence at most. They no longer share details about their life and shut me out when I ask or share details about mine, even the most mundane and chaste details. I stop talking to them. A birthday gift I bought them months before this falling out happened looms at me in my closet. I cannot use it as it doesn't fit me but can't bring myself to throw it away, just in case we reconcile one day. I feel pathetic for craving friendship with someone who sees me as "abuser-bodied", that so much of my early stages would've been impossible without their help. I feel a little more lost without them.
I am at a queer/trans/enby kink dance party with some friends. I am scantily clad and wearing a skirt and high heeled boots. I do not pass well so this space is one of the few places I feel safe and free dressing like this. It is packed with queer and trans people just like me engaged in delightful debauchery and wearing very little. The music hurts my ears but I'm happy to be here, I feel overstimulated but alive and authentic. I am approached by a beautiful stranger from across the dance floor, she is graceful and stylish, like some modern Galadriel clad in leather, white lace, and industrial piercings with impeccable voice training. She compliments my outfit, I compliment hers. She tells me I need to shave my armpits if I want to look like a real woman. My two friends stand up for me and yell at her. They assure me she was just being an asshole, that women were supposed to be hairy, but I can't help but notice how both of them have hairy armpits and yet the "advice" targeted me. The wide range of bodies that people here tonight find desirable on cis women don't seem to apply to the women like me. I am the only one of us that doesn't go home with a hookup at the end of the night. I realize now she likely spoke from experience. I am still hurt by her words, but realizing the kinds of experiences she must have had herself to feel her words were kind advice hurts far worse.
A local queer photographer who's work I follow is looking for women & non-binary models for a photoshoot. I have become comfortable with getting photos taken of me for the first time in my life since my egg cracked, and had a few small time modeling gigs under my belt. With something like this I could actually have the beginnings of a portfolio. I reach and am told that they are not looking for trans women models, "only women and AFABs". Getting the same line I get from agencies from an independent queer photographer repackaged in "woke" terminology stings. I see many queer and nonbinary models I looked up to take part in the shoot. I have to wonder if they knew that the photographer's definition of woman didn't include trans women, or if like me in my martial arts class they noticed no transfems were there but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there.
It is years ago and I am still an egg. I am with my partner of 4 years. I am exhausted after a long day. She asks me for sex in the voice that I know means saying no will hurt her. I learned from her long ago men have high and insatiable sex drives, therefore saying no meant I wanted to have sex, just not with her. So I say yes. The sex is painful and unsatisfying, and I simply do my best to thrust through the discomfort until she cums. I feel numb and hurt. She enjoys herself but seems sad I did not cum. I assure her I love her. When we hold eachother after my obligation has been met and I finally feel comfortable and safe. We begin talking. She talks about the trashy women she saw on the street today, describing their cringe outfits and ugly styles and bad hair. All the styles and clothes and hair I yearn to try myself in my deepest and most repressed desires. I change the subject and ask her about work and family. She asks if I'd still love her if she were a man and I say yes. She says she would still love me if I were a woman. Something in that statement feels like a lie. It is months later when we break up and I move out. Now that I am a woman I look back and know from our years together that if I were a woman then she'd hate the kind of woman I'd become. That if I were a woman she'd still have the same expectations of me as a man, that her refusal of sex equated an impersonal not being in the mood but my refusal of sex equated a cruel refusal of love.
A lesbian group begins organizing a queer woman's strip night event. A safe place for amateur performers to shine and women to perform and enjoy sexuality away from the male gaze. I see no transfems in the promotional material or leadership team, and I've learned not to think nothing of it just because there are other trans people there. I do not go.
I am talking with my therapist. They are trans too and an amazing therapist, often providing insights and advice only someone else with the lived experience of being trans can. I express distress and suicidal ideation at the fact I feel like I need to pass before I can dress the way I want. That until I get expensive hair removal procedures and FFS I can never feel safe and welcome presenting authentically. I lament how these things are expensive and may never be accessible to me. They tell me I need to deal with my "internalized transphobia", as if these feelings aren't a result of constant rejection and othering by external forces even within queer spaces. As if the scrap of womanhood others sometimes acknowledge in me does not rely on their perceptions of me.
There is a publication accepting works from trans people of all stripes to document trans experiences. It gets flamed for not having a single transfem as a contributor. The people behind it apologize profusely, they say didn't notice no transfems had sent work in and would do a sequel publication that was transfem-centric. I wonder if anyone had noticed there were no transfems but didn't think much of it because there were other trans people there. I think about the kinds of spaces I've seen like that, and the implications it has about how they treat transfems, and I am unsurprised no transfems submitted.
One of my closest friends for years is very supportive of me when I first begin crossdressing and experimenting with they/them pronouns. She gives me suggestions on cute clothes to wear and takes me shopping as well as asks for pictures. We had helped eachother discover we were both queer as young teens, come to terms with it, and navigate it in a hostile environment, so I have complete trust. We are close enough we are frequently asking eachother advice on serious life choices & relationships, sending nudes for critique + tips before sending them to our partners, and sharing our most secret and vulnerable moments. She often asks me for tips on getting her straight boyfriends into pegging and crossdressing that make me slightly uncomfortable but I don't mind, she is a loyal friend I would endure a great many discomforts for. I host a lunch for us one day, and come out to her as a trans woman. I tell her my new name, say I no longer use he/him pronouns, and thank her for her support on my journey thus far. She launches into a monologue about how by changing my name I am throwing away all our memories together and spitting in the face of my family. Taken aback by her sudden heel turn after being so supportive of me being nonbinary and GNC, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom to get a break and give her some time to process. When I am in the bathroom trying not to cry, she is on the phone. I overhear her misgendering me as she is talking about me being bisexual in a frightened voice. She sounds truly afraid that I intend to be sexually violent towards her. When I leave the bathroom and sit back down I pretend not to have heard. She gets off the phone, saying she was just chatting with her boyfriend. We talk a bit longer, she explains how "the surgery" is dangerous and experimental and she hopes I won't get it. I assure her I won't and do my best to change the subject and hope she comes around after some time to process things, hurt and shocked that what I saw as a natural shift in the path I was already on marked me as frightening in her eyes after knowing eachother for over a decade. That a fellow bisexual suddenly saw my bisexuality as dangerous now that I was asserting myself as a trans woman. I say goodbye to her, and she says goodbye to me using my deadname, I do not risk an argument to correct her. It is months after the meeting we have not seen eachother since and she has not responded to any messages I sent. After reflecting on her reaction further I decide that I don't really want to spend time with someone who thinks these things about me for my own safety and mental health, regardless of our history. A friend of 14 years who supported my queerness and transness gone the instant I crossed an intangible woman-shaped line that marked me as a predator and invader in her eyes.
I log online and day after day see trans women getting banned and harassed. Seeing baseless callout posts calling them groomers and abusers getting taken seriously by other queer and trans people. Seeing proof that deep down so many people I consider kindred spirits see me and people like me as worthy of intense scrutiny and policing to keep "the queer community" safe and united. The blocklist grows but everything stays the same. I treasure the people in my life who don't take part in this and would do anything for them, but it seems they get fewer each time.
I'm not making this post to seek sympathy, I am used to this kind of shit and far worse has happened to myself and others. I just make this to illustrate transmisogyny is not some "online-only" issue like people claim. Even if online issues weren't "real" (as healed is fond of saying, "online is real") this has tangible effects in the way trans women are treated offline as well. By communities, friends, partners, colleagues, systems, etc. That's why we talk about it.
So much of the discussions people have paint transmisogyny as some online oppression olympics maliciously trying to divide the community, smear transmascs, and "reinvent bioessentialism". That is not what it is about. Discussions about transmisogyny is about how we are treated for being what we are, and while related to transphobia and misogyny it is seperate because it often represents doors other trans people and women can walk through that transfems cannot. It has affected me in my most intimate moments when I was with other trans and queer people I felt safe around, and taught me that I need to carefully manage my persona and presentation at all times lest my authenticity be branded "male socialization". I am even terrified to express attraction to people who express attraction towards me because I'm so used to being treated like a predator upon reciprocating or being used and abandoned by people I trusted. I am terrified to be too excited about shared interests with friends lest I be too loud or talkative about it and branded with aggressive male socialization. So I make myself quiet and small, and shrink from the community and people I care about, and become more and more isolated.
Anyways, stop platforming anons who spread lies about trans women, stop hopping on TERF harassment campaigns because the trans gal they're smearing "gave you bad vibes", and maybe consider carefully if in your own life where you draw the line for a transfem's behavior is any different from where you'd draw the line for anyone who's not one.