Pollyanna - Tumblr Posts
Peaky Blinders Masterlist
(wattpad: wordless-writing).
Also, if for some reason some links look odd or are missing, then please notify me because for some reason they keep deleting.
Requests are open!
Thomas Shelby
Gun Metal and Daisies (full story on Wattpad)
The Anya-Margaret (coming soon)
One shots
Ozymandius (x femm!reader)
Polly Gray
One shots
“In the garden I will die. In the roses, they will kill me. I was going, mother, to pick roses, to find death.”
“In the garden I will die. In the roses they will kill me. I was going, mother, to pick roses, to find death.”
Polly Gray Story
Anonymous request
Warnings: period typical racism, swearing, mentions death and disease, angst.
Inspired by the poem: To this Day
Masterlist
She has been through hell.
So believe me when I say,
Fear her,
When she looks into the fire and smiles.
Polly looked down through her glass, past her cigarette, to the folded piece of paper on her desk.
Thomas had put it there. Walked in, slid it across the desk and left. Leaving with the feeling he’d just cursed his aunt to eternal turmoil.
She knew what was in the note. She knew exactly what it was about. She took a final swig of her drink and ripped open the folds.
Maybe if Polly’s God smiled down on her more, then she’d know the colour of her daughters hair.
She read the lines twice before taking her cigarette and pushing it into the words. Leaving it to smoke in the ash tray.
Without another word, she got up and left.
——
Polly approached the brown door with skittish feverance. The weather was humid and suffocating, the people of Small Heath always walked like zombies, but today you could just smell the rotting.
Polly put a bright smile on her face, today was the day that she got her life back. The other piece of her whole world.
She knocked on the door and on the other side she heard calls and lovesick giggles.
The woman who opened the door had dark brown, unruly hair. Her eyes were wide in warm brown doe eyed shape. Polly smiled at the woman, taking in her features. Lastly, the woman had a long scar, that covered the left side of her face, from her temple to her chin.
“Anna Gray?”
The woman sniffed, “Anna Clive-Wright.”
Polly pursed her lips to surpress a smile, she was married.
Maybe she didn’t recognise Polly?
“You’re my daughter, I’m Polly Gray. You were take-“ Polly tried.
“I know who you are. I know exactly who you are.” Anna sighed exasperatedly.
“I heard... you were taken to... Australia? You had spring fever?” Polly attempted to gain traction in the conversation.
“Yes. Yes I did have spring fever. I remember during my recovery- I remember the time I put my feet on the ground for the first time in weeks. I threw roses into the abyss and I’d say: ‘here is to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’Some days I wish I’d died.
“I wish something would have taken me away. ‘Cause some nights, Polly, some nights; all I wanna know is that I’m not fucking crazy for feeling the way I feel, after going through all that bullshit that I’ve been through!” Anna slammed her fist against the doorframe.
“What are you talking about, Anna? They aren’t nothing but savages over there. Killers.” Polly furrowed her brows with concern.
“It’s Mrs Clive-Wright, thanks. They aren’t savages, not really. And killers? Really Polly? That’s rich coming from a Shelby. We’re all killers. We’ve all killed parts of ourselves to survive. We’ve all got blood on our hands. Somewhere, something had to die. So we could stay alive.” Anna looked down at Polly with a glare to send a vipers nest fleeing.
Polly matched her stare. One might think the two were related if one looked hard enough. They were, but only one party believed so.
“You have a family here, Anna. Us Shelby’s stick together. They’ll love you- I’ll love you. Like I’ve done for all these years! You were taken, I never got the chance to love you properly.” Polly’s eyes widened in pleading while Anna’s squinted in disgust.
“Family, eh? How dare you talk about family in front on me. How many sons and daughters have you Shelby’s cut? Huh? How many family’s have you torn a part? How dare you come here and talk about family.” Anna snarled.
“...What did they do to you over there?” Polly shook her head. She didn’t know what went wrong. Where did she fail?
“This isn’t ‘bout what they did to me! This is what you- you and your Shelby- Peaky bastards did!” She had strong features that looked like they’d never broken once, “somedays I wish I’d have died. I wish the sickness had devoured me whole, or at least in my head, so I could pretend all this- all this SHIT- wasn’t really real.” She waved her arms around flamboyantly, scoffing at the irony. “However, if I’d have died, I’d never have met my husband; and if I’d never have met my husband, I wouldn’t have had my son... But then again, I wouldn’t have lost my son, either.”
Polly understood now. She put the pieces together and felt a new sense of guilt. There was low-hanging tension in the air. It was held down by sorrow and weighted with tears only a mother could cry.
“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we never became, Polly?” Anna was staring past Polly. She didn’t want to see the tears in her mother’s eyes, nor the tracks they’d leave down her face, no. “That’s right. We don’t. So don’t come here, knocking on my doorstep, invading my home. Don’t come here raving about losing sons and daughters and love, all the while you’ve created losses in others. This world isn’t a meritocracy. You can’t kill mothers sons until no one has any left. Leaving you to finally take the crown of the best mum of the year.”
The sound of heavy footsteps on floorboards invaded the silence, “everything alright here Anna?” A big burly man with a slight limp and kind face appeared next to Anna, kissing her chastely on the cheek.
Anna places a hand on his chest “of course, James. Go put the kettle on for me will you?”
“For how many?” James looked up at the Shelby woman, taken aback by the celebrity appearance.
“Just us, love.” She kissed his cheek and he limped away slowly.
The silence crept in again, “Husband?” Polly asked.
“Husband.” Anna confirmed. “Y’know Polly, life can be cruel. I don’t believe Michael and I should have been taken, but I do believe you should never have parented us. I have this mark that takes up a little less than half my face. Kids at school used to say I looked like a wrong answer someone tried to erase, but couldn’t quite get the job done.” Anna scoffed.
“Anna, I love you and I just-“ Polly was near sobbing at this point.
“I remember growing up and believing that I’d be lonely forever. That I’d never meet someone. To make me feel like the sun was something they’d built in their work room, just for me.”
Anna sniffed again, her breathing was jagged and wavering. Her voice was rising slowly, “I emptied myself of everything I held dear. So I felt nothing- don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone. That an ingrown life is something Doctors can cut away. That there’s no way for it to metastasise? Of course, it does!” Her voice was scratchy and feral, she snarled like a wolf who saw a bear take its food.
“Anna, I just want my daughter back.” Polly pleaded.
Anna roared, “and I want my FUCKING son back!”
The door slammed shut, and Polly was left to wilt on the other side. She put a hand to her mouth but made no attempt to stifle her sobs. She placed her hand on the door like she could reach through and touch her daughters face.
The fight was over and the matriarch lost. For years onwards, insomnia would plague her mind, as it romanticised the idea of the stars and made the moon seem like perfect company.
Polly was tougher after that. Smiles rarely spouted and her eyes never twinkled in the sun. She screamed and screamed at Thomas that day. Cursing him for the business and all he had to say.
Years on, she’d never forgive herself, she though of her daughter as her head went through the noose that her nephew placed.
...and when I greet death; I hope it’s gentle. I hope it’s like going home.
——
Thanks for the request! They really keep me motivated and give me something to do.
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See ya next time!
and the time will surely come when you can see my point of view; I believe in second chances and that’s why I believe in you!
After spending nearly two decades on my to-do list, I finally finished EarthBound the other night. I’m dying to start Mother 3 now, but I don’t know whether I want to buy a translated cart or wait for the ten year anniversary and (hopefully) an official localization. Sucks that some people have been waiting that long. ):
