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From the ashes

Chapter 1

It’s dark by the time Tim leans into the front door of Mid-Wilshire, pushing it open with his shoulder. The cool evening air surrounds him as he steps outside and glances around. He’s parked just a few spaces down but even from here he can see a familiar figure leaning against the side of his truck waiting for him. He doesn’t know exactly why she’s here today, but Angela hasn’t been holding back lately, sending dose after dose of tough love in his direction.

Whatever it is tonight, he’s already sure he’s not going to like it.

She pushes off the vehicle as he approaches, and Tim comes to a stop in front of her. “What do you want?”

“Nice to see you too,” she replies.

Tim huffs a sigh of irritation. “What, Angela?”

“Wanted to make sure you heard about Lucy.”

“What? No,” he answers hurriedly, looking around as though there’s something to see that he's somehow missed. “What happened? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Physically,” Angela adds with a pointed look.

Tim ignores her. “Then what?”

“Narcotics needs a UC for their trafficking case,” she begins.

“And they tapped her.”

She nods.

Tim shoves his hands into his pockets and glances around, taking a moment to gather himself. “How long?”

“Couple months, probably.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Angela echoes. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Look, if you’re worried she can’t handle it right now, don’t be,” Tim says. He’s been undercover with her and he’s witnessed her ability to compartmentalize. “She’s solid.”

“I’m not worried about her,” Angela assures him.

Tim crosses his arms. “Then why are you here?” Angela raises an eyebrow and fixes him with a piercing stare, and he sighs heavily and barely conceals a roll of his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Neither of you are fine right now,” Angela states. “And I think it would be good for both of you to clear the air before she leaves.”

Tim sighs once more but doesn’t reply. There’s no point denying it. He knows Angela is right, and he knows she knows that too.

“She’s in the locker room now,” Angela adds. “She should be out soon.”

And with that, she turns and walks away, leaving him alone in the middle of the parking lot.

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From the ashes (chapter 2)

Sixty-five days later

Walking into Mid-Wilshire after two months undercover is a strange experience. Everything feels the same and yet different at the same time. Lucy supposes that makes sense; after all, she’s spent the last two months pretending to be someone she’s not, and now that she’s back she’s finding it difficult to remember how to be herself.

She spots him before he sees her, across the bullpen at a desk with his back to her as he pours over a stack of paperwork. One by one, though, her colleagues become aware of her arrival. An initially scattered applause spreads through the bullpen, and she can see the moment it reaches Tim because he lifts his head and looks around, eyes widening in surprise when they find hers.

The corner of his mouth quirks up slightly and she offers her own small smile of acknowledgment. She’s unsure if it’s because she’s not really herself right now or if it’s just the passage of time, but seeing him doesn’t hurt quite as much.

The debrief takes hours, and it’s not until end of shift that Lucy finally makes her way back into the bullpen. Tim is at his desk once more, eyes fixed on the computer screen this time, but he lifts them to her as she approaches.

“Hey,” she offers tentatively.

“Hey,” he greets, giving her a quick onceover out of habit. “You okay?”

“I think so?” she answers, though it’s more question than answer. Tim tilts his head curiously and she adds, “It’s… weird. Being someone else for that long. I feel like I’m still her.”

He nods in understanding. “Makes sense.”

For a moment neither speaks, but then Tim continues before the awkwardness can creep in. “Heard you took down the entire operation,” he says, and despite the vast chasm of fractured emotion that still lies between them, she can see the pride in his eyes.

“We did,” she replies.

Silence falls again, and Lucy wonders if it will never not be awkward between them.

“You look better,” she offers, an attempt to fill the silence. He’s clean-shaven, eyes clearer and much less haunted than when she left, and as much as she’s missed him, she thinks it may have been for the best that they didn’t have any contact for two months. They both needed to begin to heal, and she doesn’t know how effectively that would’ve happened if they’d had to see each other every day at the station.

“I feel better,” he confirms. “I still have a ways to go, though.”

“You’ll get there.”

“I hope so.”

“Chen.”

Lucy turns at the sound of her name, finds Harper and the lead detective from Narcotics motioning her over. She turns back to Tim. “Sorry, I have to…”

“No, it’s fine,” he assures her quickly. “We can talk another time.”

“Right, okay, yeah,” she stammers, fighting the conflicting desires to maintain a healthy distance between them but also to continue their conversation because it’s been more than two months since she’s seen his face and heard his voice.

“Hey, Lucy?” Tim calls softly as she turns to leave.

“Hmm?” she asks, pausing to toss a glance over her shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re back.”

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