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She pulls him even tighter into her chest, she can feel the hard planes of his back spasming and shaking along with the rest of his body. Quick and shallow breaths slip through gritted teeth and between them, drawn out incantations of her name. All she can do is offer a tight, reassuring hug from behind, holding on for dear life, and comforting words in small whispers until his episode is over. 

The death grip on the back of the chair loosens as he comes back to reality, swapping shallow breaths with deep sobs that wrack his body from the centre of his chest. A sigh of relief escapes her as she recognises the tell tale signs of him returning. He slumps over and falls to the floor as his leg gives into the post-episode shakes; bringing her with him. They hit the floor with a thump, and she moves out from underneath him and shuffles as close to him as she dares. He moves his hands to his scarlet face as tears stream down staining his shirt but she grabs them before they can get there. Holding them, she brings them down to her waist and wraps hers around his shoulders. Pulling him close. The closeness lets her hear a muttered apology coming from him, but they both know there is nothing to be sorry for. She is the first to speak since the incident happened, quiet enough as to not shock him anymore than he already was.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's not real. It's. Not. Real. I'm not a mutt, you're not a mutt. You are Peeta Mellark. You are 22 years old. We're here, at home, in District 12. You survived two games and a rebellion. And you are surviving now.”

By the time she has finished, his sobs have been reduced to a few stray tears that slowly make their way down his face. He takes a deep but shaky breath out as the adrenaline slowly leaves his body. A look of shame crosses his face.

“I'm so sorry. I honestly thought I was getting better. It's been months since my last episode and something little must have just thrown me off I guess.”

She shakes her head; smiling slightly.

“It's okay, I promise you. You were doing so much better but this isn't the end. You're not starting right from the beginning, just, taking a step back. Healing isn't linear, we both know that, I still have my bad days and you have your episodes but we have to keep moving forward. If we don't then we will be back at the beginning and He wins. We both can’t let that happen. We've been through too much to let that happen”

He looks defeated, his usual half-smile after her semi-threatening pep talks isn't present.

“I’m so… drained. What are we even fighting for anymore, Katniss? I try to remember sometimes. That old conviction I had. I was so sure I’d never lose it.”

“Hard not to once you’ve fought the same battle as long as we have.”

She leans forward, touching their foreheads together.

“But we have to keep pushing. You once told me that you didn't want them to change you, giving in is letting that happen. You won't ever lose that hope, it's always there. You're my dandelion, my hope. If you lose that we both fall apart. And I can't let that happen. The battle to get here was long and hard and will keep on going until we win and we will win.” 

His expression doesn't change; not believing in what she’s saying 

“I'm not the same teenage boy who said these words to you that night though Katniss. I have changed from the games, from Snow. I'm not the same boy whose name was called at that reaping 6 years ago. I'm not the same boy who spent nights with you on the train or whose heart stopped trying to protect you in the arena. They have changed me.”

Her mouth tilts downward starting to form into her ever present scowl.

“Maybe your not the love struck boy who spoke to me for the first time on a train to our deaths or kept me up straight, night after night, on the victory tour but you are the boy who risked his life to save me in the sewers of the Capitol and stopped me from taking my life after I killed Coin. I'm not the same girl who volunteered for her sister or held onto you for dear life while I was paralysed from torturous jabberjays. Neither of us are exactly the same as we were all those years ago. But everyday since then, you have shown me how some things inside you are so intrinsically you. Your optimism, love, kindness, charisma and hope are all you and can never be changed.”

He finally smiles, and a sense of hope runs through him. Not this hope she says is always within him, but from her. A hope so intimate and specific he can only attribute it to her and how she always manages to bring it to him in his darkest hours.

“I’m so… drained. What are we even fighting for anymore, [X]? I try to remember sometimes. That old conviction I had. I was so sure I’d never lose it.”

“Hard not to once you’ve fought the same battle as long as we have.”

Been thinking about Johanna Mason

This is gonna be less fluff-like than my usual content (do I have usual content?), so feel free to skip it. Or if you want to read it, just continue reading

So there’s that quote that was like “The deal was that, if I won the Hunger Games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But now, you wanna kill me again”

and I’m just thinking of how many times she could’ve thought she’d be done and able to have some peace now, and she just kept never getting it. She probably thought “well, once I survive the games, I’ll be done”. And then she got out and Snow had all the people she loved killed because she didn’t go along with his plans to traffic her like he did with others. I believe she was also made to mentor tributes the next few years too.

She almost definitely thought she was never going back into the arena, because no one ever had had to go back in. And then she was dragged back in for the Quarter Quell (what the quote refers to in the specific context of the interview).

She could’ve thought that if the escape worked, she’d go to District 13 and never have to see the Capitol again. But other people escaped and she didn’t, and they tortured her for weeks. And then once she finally got out of the Capitol and to District 13, she had a debilitating phobia of water and addiction to Morphling, which prevented her from being able to go back to the Capitol with the others to try to kill Snow.

And once everyone got back and Snow was captured and all that, the person Johanna lived with, trained with, and likely considered a friend, who promised she’d kill him, shot someone else instead. And yes, Snow did die, but Katniss didn’t kill him as she promised, he died laughing, choking on his own blood. And it wouldn’t be a stretch to suggest she could’ve seen that as a betrayal.

As far as I remember, we don’t really know what happened with her after the events of Mockingjay, but I’d say it wouldn’t be particularly realistic to theorize that she’d have gone home and lived a sunshine and rainbows life once Snow was dead.