Rockstar Au - Tumblr Posts

I started reading this series and it really broke my heart.  Even without knowing all the context for why their relationship ended the pain it has brought onto the reader and JK have been so vividly described it is amazing.  

                    ❪  💜  MASTERLIST :  ❫  ghost in my bed

Jeon Jungkook was your best friend, your boyfriend, your everything. Once upon a time, you were his, too. But like everything else in life, things change. You just never thought those changes would take your everything away.

alt summary.  Sometimes, hating someone is the only thing you can do.

pairing.  jjk x named f!reader plus a lil bit of jhs x named f!reader.  e2l (exes n enemies!).

genre + rating.  rockstar!au.  a heavy, heavy dose of angst, some fluff (or romance) maybe later on, and eventuaaal smut maybe.  general with explicit chapters (*) marked.

tags / warnings.  past infidelity, (referenced) cheating, jealousy, drinking, driving under the infuence, (referenced) drug use, childhood sweethearts turned sad sacks, actual heartthrob jungkook, (referenced) car accident, jeon jungkook is a lil shit, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don’t be silly!), creampie, an inappropriate use of a mirror, etc.  :’)

wc.  16.2k.  ongoing.

author note.  n/a.

moodboard

vogue article

prologue

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

drabble:  mirrors *

this is how you fall in love | jjk

After years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, Jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

pairing: jungkook x f!reader

genre: rockstar au, established relationship, fluff, smut, light angst

playlist: listen here <3 | moodboard

warnings: not-so-linear storytelling, my attempt at writing soft giggly sex 🤭, slight sub!jungkook, big dicc!jungkook, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), riding, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, brief cockwarming, hint of exhibitionism kink if you quint 👀, mentions of insecurities and anxiety. i think that’s it! lmk if i missed anything

word count: approximately 9.3k (i thought it was gonna be 11-12k at one point lol)

note: here she is, my first proper oneshot !!! the title is from jeremy zucker and chelsea cutler’s song ‘this is how you fall in love’ lol how creative, but you should listen to it while reading this bc i feel like it sorta adds to the experience. also my first time writing smut lmao bear w me 😫 anyhoo this jk in particular is so special to me i enjoyed writing this so much !! btw it’s not as edited as i would like but oh well lol

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Jungkook commands the attention of every room he walks into; and just like right now, he’s basking in all the attention, all the screams of his name from dozens of girls and boys alike in this packed bar. You knew he was a charmer since you first met him, and you had known from the start that no matter how hard you try to resist, you would succumb to him eventually.

Sometimes, you feel as though he doesn’t belong to you—he can’t possibly, right? Not when people are shouting along to every word falling from his lips and you are… well, you’re just you. He’s destined for the world, for bigger things than just your two-bedroom apartment. Loving him is a privilege, and the thing about privileges is they can be taken away.

Keep reading

this is how you fall in love | jjk

After years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, Jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

pairing: jungkook x f!reader

genre: rockstar au, established relationship, fluff, smut, light angst

playlist: listen here <3 | moodboard

warnings: not-so-linear storytelling, my attempt at writing soft giggly sex 🤭, slight sub!jungkook, big dicc!jungkook, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), riding, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, brief cockwarming, hint of exhibitionism kink if you quint 👀, mentions of insecurities and anxiety. i think that’s it! lmk if i missed anything

word count: approximately 9.3k (i thought it was gonna be 11-12k at one point lol)

note: here she is, my first proper oneshot !!! the title is from jeremy zucker and chelsea cutler’s song ‘this is how you fall in love’ lol how creative, but you should listen to it while reading this bc i feel like it sorta adds to the experience. also my first time writing smut lmao bear w me 😫 anyhoo this jk in particular is so special to me i enjoyed writing this so much !! btw it’s not as edited as i would like but oh well lol

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Jungkook commands the attention of every room he walks into; and just like right now, he’s basking in all the attention, all the screams of his name from dozens of girls and boys alike in this packed bar. You knew he was a charmer since you first met him, and you had known from the start that no matter how hard you try to resist, you would succumb to him eventually.

Sometimes, you feel as though he doesn’t belong to you—he can’t possibly, right? Not when people are shouting along to every word falling from his lips and you are… well, you’re just you. He’s destined for the world, for bigger things than just your two-bedroom apartment. Loving him is a privilege, and the thing about privileges is they can be taken away.

Keep reading

Samwena Week (Day 5) AU - Rockstar AU

When Sam Winchester and his brother, Dean, decide to get the band back together and go on a reunion tour, their manager, Castiel, books an up and coming singer, Rowena, as their opening act.  Sam has no idea that this is going to change his life forever.

Someone In The Crowd.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

 Jens is an electric guitar player for his band, and every performance he feels what it truly means to be alive. But one night, he spots someone in the crowd that makes life worth living for.

Jens loved to play music.

That was an understatement, he lived to play music. Ever since he was young enough to remember, he would always be drumming along to the music his mom played in the kitchen as she cooked or the music his dad played in the car that surrounded him, even in the backseat. The second he felt a rhythm and beat flow through his body was the second he felt in tune with the melody and would do anything to play along. When he was just five, his parents had gotten him a drum kit for Christmas and he was ecstatic.

That was until he turned seven and was gifted an electric guitar. A sleek black guitar, a little too big for his little self but just so entrancing.

He immediately begged to take lessons. Unlike playing the drums, which he was still pretty handy with, Jens wanted to be able to play with technique before branching out with his own style. But after just a few weeks of lessons, he managed to find it. His guitar teacher was instantly impressed, completely in awe at the presence of such natural talent.

The thing was, Jens didn’t just live for music. It had become his way of life.

And things got even better in high school. Before that, Jens only ever played his music in his room, practicing some of his favourite songs or working on his unique style. His best friend Robbe wasn’t particularly musical, and could hardly follow a steady beat to save his life. But then in high school he met Moyo, a spectacular drummer from his history class, Senne , a pretty sick bass guitarist who ended up dating their friend Zoë and Sander, Robbe’s boyfriend who turned out to be a singing rockstar on his own.

With that, they had formed their own band.

It only started off when they were in Senne’s and Robbe’s flat, listening to music and getting high. Senne was measly tuning his bass before playing it a little, Moyo was drumming with his fingers on the table and Sander was rocking to the music, hitting every note and even making a few note changes himself. Then Jens suggested they should start a band. The next week, they raided Moyo’s basement as their makeshift studio and messed around. To their surprise, their individual talents blended in a beautiful harmony together, and their band was born.

Their band was called WTFOCK, mainly because everyone who heard them for the first time immediately went “What the fuck? They’re so good”. Nobody had really expected them to be terrible, but nobody expected to be just that good either. So, WTFOCK was born and they played at the local bar every two weeks on a Friday night. They had became regulars, a crowd favourite, and every night Jens played his heart out on stage under the bright fluorescent lights that should’ve blinded him by now, he felt a little part of his soul just surge out and create pure euphoria for him and the world around him.

Music was Jens’ entire life. And he didn’t think there would be a day where he would be alive and well and thinking that he could do without it.

Until Senne out for a week trip in Norway. He was supposed to come back Thursday morning, giving them enough time for a quick rehearsal. But their return flight home had been accidentally overbooked and he had been delayed for another two days.

Which means, he wouldn’t be back until Saturday. Which also means, they had no bass player to fill in for them and they had less than a day to find one.

The three of them had begun to panic. They didn’t even know anybody else who played the bass, let alone play the bass well enough to perform.

“I have an idea.” Moyo said, into their group call which was based on finding a solution to their problem. “My childhood friend Kes and his friends are visiting this week and he’s really good on bass. Me and him used to mess around all the time when we were in middle school, and I’m pretty sure he still plays.”

“Him and I.” Sander corrected into the call. “Do you think he would be down to cover for us?”

“Why not?” Moyo asked. “We could rehearse with him Friday afternoon and he could invite his friends to come watch our show.”

“This better work.” Jens hoped.

And miraculously, it did. Senne even let Kes borrow his bass for the practice session and Jens would never admit it, but he didn’t think he had heard such a talented bass player before. Sure, Senne was good, he was really good. But Kes had this style to his playing, a style that was so unique and different, but so naturally done. He picked up on their songs easy, and Jens even thought they sounded better. He even had a memorable look to his character, bright pink Vans with a matching pink bandana to push back his dark curly hair. Kes both looked the part and played the part.

So as they huddled around backstage, before they were announced to go on, Kes was feeling super hyped up and energetic.

“This is my first show ever.” Kes mentioned as Jens was tuning his guitar.

“Really?” He asked in surprise. “You seem like such a natural at it, I would’ve expected you to have played in front of an audience before.”

“Are you nervous at all?” Jens asked.

“A little. Just a bit jittery I guess.” He admitted. “My friends have heard me play before, but I was drunk and not even being serious with it. But I’ve never played in front of a proper audience, let alone a crowd.”

“Jens, Kes! Places!” Moyo called out from his seat at the drums, letting them know they were about to start. They both pulled the strap of their guitars over their head and walked over to their spots on stage.

“Honestly, I don’t even really notice the crowd. I get too immersed in the music.” He continued to tell Kes as they made their way. “I don’t even pay attention to anyone out there really, until the set is over and I’m off stage.”

Kes nodded as he stood on his side of the stage and Jens went over to the other. The bright lights flashed in front of his eyes and if he wasn’t used to it by now, he would be squinting to see through them. But the familiar heat from the stage lights warmed up his face and body, and he felt the surge of adrenaline to play.

Then he did something he didn’t usually do. Instead of looking over to Moyo, who usually counted them off, he looked over at the audience. And as his eyes scanned them, he felt something he usually didn’t feel either.

He had noticed someone. Someone had managed to capture his attention and for the first time ever, Jens felt more immersed into someone in the crowd than the music he played for the crowd.

For the first time ever, Jens felt a feeling way more intense than he did when he played music. The boy wasn't looking at him directly, but rather the collective presence of the band. But Jens was only looking at him, denim jacket and tousled brown curls framing his pretty face. He had a dimple from his smirk, and he looked rather intrigued to listen to them play. For the first time in forever, Jens wanted to hop off the stage in fear that he would mess up.

But he didn't. As he heard the familiar count coming from Moyo's drumsticks, he felt his body go into its most natural state, left hand on the chords and right hand on the strings. He felt his fingers play his guitar like it was in his first nature, and then he felt the surge to just play better.

So that's what he did, he let his guitar playing amplify the music and sound impressive against Sander's insane vocals. He shredded even harder on his usual guitar solo, familiars in the crowd shocked to be even more impressed with his talent. Moyo and Kes even followed along, only elevating the entire experience. Jens didn't think he ever played like his life depended on it, but as he snuck a look back at the crowd, back at the boy, he knew he had succeeded in his plan.

Striking blue eyes watched him, almost fascinated with his every move of fingers or body. Now, it really felt like Jens was playing for an audience. He continued to play better than he ever had before, and even Sander snuck him expressions filled with pride, unbeknownst to the reason why. The crowd was pumping, cheering, screaming along to the music and overall being the best crowd Jens has ever played in front of. But still, it was catching the attention of the boy in the midst of them that really made him feel like he had won.

Eventually, their set came to an end and Moyo screamed loudly. "And that was WTFOCK! Thank you and have a good night!"

The four of them headed back stage, to safely put their instruments away and Jens wished he had brought another shirt to change into. Usually he wouldn't really care about something like that, but now he was about to head off towards the crowd and listen to some other music, and hopefully bump into the boy he was so keen on. But for now, his drab grey shirt and black jeans would suffice. He wished he had some sort of look to his persona, like Sander's leather jacket and chunk Doc Martens or Kes' pink shoes and matching pink headband. Sighing, he tried to tame down his hair and followed closely behind Kes who was just about to head out. Moyo and Sander had already escaped, and he had no idea where they went. Meaning he was left with just following Kes around.

But when Kes emerged into the crowd and looked around, probably looking for his friends, he felt his heart drop. The boy was looking in their general direction, but not at Jens anymore. Rather, in front of Jens.

He was looking at Kes.

And Kes was looking right back at him.

"Holy fuck, you were great!" The boy exclaimed, heading over.

Immediately, he wrapped Kes up in an embrace and they held each other tight for a few seconds. Even though Jens felt his heart sink at this point, he couldn't help but just watch them. Kes ruffled his hair playfully as the other boy looked down at him endearingly.

Even though he couldn't be sure whatever their relationship was, he felt hopeless. He didn't think he could compare to Kes, who looked infinitely cooler and just acted cooler than him in the less than twenty four hours he had known him for. Even if they were just friends, he couldn't just expect the boy to also be into boys. Or even be into Jens at all. Feeling frustrated and annoyed, Jens turned away from the crowd and headed towards the back exit of the club.

The wind briskly hit him in the face, and for a split second he wanted to go back inside and grab his hoodie from backstage. But still feeling a little upset over what had just happened, Jens kicked a box in between the heavy black exit door and the entrance back into the club. The first time he had escaped through this way, the door had locked him out and he wasn't going to go through security again just to come back inside. Huffing, he headed a little bit down the alleyway and patted his back pocket for his lighter. In his other pocket, he pulled out the pre-rolled joint and lifted it to his mouth. The flame from the lighter heated his hands for a second, and his body thanked the small flame for the temporary warmth. Eventually, the joint was lit and he inhaled, feeling the weed fill up his lungs.

Jens stood alone in the alleyway for a bit, simply just smoking the joint and listening into the music he could hear playing through the walls of the building and out of the half-way opened exit door. It flowed through his body, and he began tapping his leg and drumming his finger on his thigh to mimic the rhythm. The weed hadn't kicked in yet, but he could feel his body begin to sway with the movement of the earth and melody of the song. He was so immersed in everything around him, he didn't hear someone come outside.

A cough came from behind him and he whipped around, his eyes widening as he took in who was standing in front of him.

It was the boy from earlier. The boy in the crowd. He seemed to light up the dark alleyway, and Jens was instantly entranced again.

"Hey." He managed to say, feeling his mouth go dry.

"Hey." The boy said back, with a small smile. "Sorry, I didn't know someone was out here. I can leave if you want?"

"No, stay." Jens insisted with a nod. He brought the joint up to his lips, taking another hit and hoping to calm his nerves. After, he exhaled and handed the joint out to him. "Want a hit?" He looked at him, his question a little bit unfinished and the boy nodded, while also realizing that Jens was trying to ask for his name.

"Lucas." He replied, taking the joint from Jens and placing it in his own mouth. Jens watched as his pretty pink lips around it, and he felt his heart race.

"Jens." He replied, continuing to watch him.

"I know." Lucas said with a smirk. "Kes told me about you. You were great up there. "

"You know Kes?" He lied, pretending he hadn't seen them both literally hug earlier. He also hoped he wasn't blushing at the slight comment, and only hoped the darkness of the night covered any chance of him being exposed.

Lucas didn't seem to catch onto his lie and nodded his head, his wavy brown hair being tousled along with his movements. "Yeah, I've known him since we were thirteen. He's kinda become another half of me, which is probably how he dragged me from Utrecht to Antwerp."

Other half. Jens thought, feeling his heart get crushed again. If he had doubts about them just being friend before, he definitely didn't have those doubts anymore.

"He's really good." He said instead. "We thought we were fucked without our usual bass player and we didn't think anybody would be able to play along with us on such short notice, but Kes really outdid himself."

"Yeah, he's been wanting to play in a band. But between me and our other friend Jayden, he hasn't had much luck."

"You don't play music?" Jens asked, trying not to focus too much on there "other friend" implication.

"Nope, unless you count the triangle." Lucas joked. "It's not my forte, pun intended, though I'm not completely incapable in artistic wonders."

"Let me guess." Jens suggested, studying him a little bit. "Long slender fingers, critical pretty blue eyes and the paint splatters on your white laces indicate you're an artist."

Grinning widely, Lucas' eyes sparkled against the night sky. "Impressive. You're correct."

"Thanks, another talent is that I read people well."

They both laughed, and before they knew it, the joint was finished. Jens put it out as Lucas shoved his hands into the pocket of his denim jacket for warmth. He had almost forgotten how chilly it was, Lucas' presence seemed to have warmed him up completely.

"I should probably head back in now." Lucas said suddenly, and Jens felt sad to feel alone all over again.

Nodding his head as if he understood and not feeling like he was losing his chance all over again, Jens tried to give him a half-hearted smile. "Yeah sure, no problem."

"You're not coming back in?" The other boy asked, raising a brow.

Jens shook his head. "I will in a bit. I wouldn't want to keep you from your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend?" Lucas said in disbelief, as if he had no idea what Jens was talking about.

Furrowing his brow, Jens raised his own brow, like he was questioning how his comment was out of place. "Kes? Isn't he your boyfriend? You just referred to him as your other half."

"Ah no." Lucas said, shyly covering his face in his hands and suppressing his giggles. Jens continued to look at him quite confused and when Lucas brought his hands down, he had another amused smile on his face. "He's not my boyfriend. What made you think that?"

"You said he was your other half." Jens reminded him, like he was stating the obvious. "Like other half to your whole."

"Yes, as my best friend." Lucas began to say, laughing lightly. "Kes is my other half in terms of friendship, I literally grew up with him. He's like a brother to me, and I can't imagine I'd be down to date my very own brother."

If Jens' face turned pink from blushing before, then it definitely turned red from embarrassment. Lucas began to bubble out some giggles, probably thinking this entire scenario was nothing short of hilarious. Jens felt his face go hot, and now he covered his own face in his hands, groaning.

When he eventually opened his hands to see again, Lucas was standing closer to him. Jens, having prompted himself on some empty box and was sitting down, felt Lucas shyly stand in the middle of his widespread legs. He wanted to reach out for the boy, to somehow pull him in closer. Lucas seemed to get what he wanted, and reached out to shyly take his hand.

"I thought you were taken and I got really sad." Jens admitted, biting his lip. "I just saw you in the crowd and became entranced by your presence. I've never felt so much simply based on a first sight."

"I saw you come in with Kes, and for once, following Kes along to wherever he dragged me finally became a good idea."

Smiling up at him, Jens felt his heart begin to race again. The way he looked into Lucas' eyes felt like the very first time he had ever seen them, a vibrant colour against the blur of the world around them. The only thing in Jens' focus. The only thing that managed to make Jens feel more alive than he had ever felt.

For the first time, the feeling of adrenaline, passion and love for music was suddenly in second place.

Because he was staring at the true winner.

"I should've asked Kes about you before I saw you guys hug." He admitted. "Maybe then I wouldn't have been smoking out here alone.'

Lucas snorted and brought up a hand to play with the short sides of Jens' hair. He felt Lucas' delicate hands touch him, like they were painting a picture directly from fingertips.

"Yeah, but that was the good thing coming out here." Lucas whispered. "You were alone."

"I'm glad you're alone too." Jens whispered too. "Though, I'd love to be alone with you."

Laughing, Lucas threw his head back. Jens, even after years of playing, making and being surrounded by music, didn't think he heard something as melodious and beautiful as Lucas' laugh. He smiled at the boy, unable to contain his adornment.

When Lucas finally came down from his high, he smiled softly at Jens.

"For the record, I do like guitar players." He admitted. "But just really cool electric guitar players with the name Jens."

"And I really like you Lucas." He admitted back. "Just you, Lucas."

alternate universe - rockstar! jens meets lucas

in the events of a summer tour with the rest of his band, jens stoffels feels like he needs a break from the music. but upon meeting a beautiful blue eyed boy one night at the hotel bar, he begins to remember why he ever started making music in the first place. knowing that he has to keep this new love affair under the radar to avoid attention from the fans, jens has to make sure lucas doesn’t find out who he really is.

but little does jens know that lucas is also making sure he doesn’t find out who he really is.

(fic coming soon!)

Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny 

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.” 

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

-

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

-

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.” 

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

-

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

-

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

-

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

-

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

-

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

-

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

-

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

-

 New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.” 

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

-

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me 

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

-

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

-

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”

Napalex fanart! This is my first completed artwork! Been working nonstop so enjoy!!🥰🥰

Music Notes | Barty Crouch Jr x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Rockstar!Barty x GN!Rockstar!Reader WC: 3,471 CW:  Soulmate AU, Rockstar AU, 2010's AU, use of Y/N, mentions of anxiety, swearing Author's Note: This is one of those fics where I'm my own target audience but if you read this I really hope you like it. Also I feel like Pandora get kinda out of character at the end but I just idk I felt like it was necessary. Summary: You meat your soulmate during the best summer of your life.

Volume:■■■■■■■■■■□□

Everyone is born with a symbol of something that you and your soulmate(s) will have in common along with their initials, and when you look into their eyes for the first time your soulmark is supposed to tingle. 

The symbol could be literally anything, it could be related to your career, a hobie, a passion or in your case all the above. For as long as you could remember you've had a music note and the initials BCJ on your wrist.

But for the longest time you were confused by your soulmark, you weren't really interested in music. I mean you liked listening to it as much as the next person but not enough to make it your soulmark.

That was until you were twelve and you met Jade. She was just so outgoing and bubbly, she made friends easily, she'd walk into a room and demand attention without even trying and she soon started showing you all these bands and artists you'd never heard of. Jade changed everything for you, she showed you a side of music you didn't know existed. And all of a sudden, you were hooked.

You became so inthralled by the music that the initial next to the note paled in comparison, you hardly thought about your soulmate because as far as you were concerned music was your soulmate. 

When you were fourteen Jade introduced you to Sammy. Sammy was a pretty shy, and quiet kid but once he was comfortable he'd talk your ear off for hours. That's how he continued to expand your love for music. Not only did he tell you about more bands and artists that ranged outside of the emo, pop punk scene, but he showed you shows, concerts. 

You, Jade and Sammy would go to any show you could. House shows, backyard gigs, if there was a guitar riff and a mosh pit the three of you were there. And that's how you met Pink.

Now Pink’s real name was Floyd but he liked being called Pink. Which you always thought was funny considering he was the strong, silent type, so the name completely contradicted his personality but he liked David Bowie so who were you to judge? Pink was your tipping point. He was a beast on the drums, you and Sammy would sit there and listen to him play all day. Which somehow led to Pink convincing your little group that you guys could make a band, a killer band at that.

And surprisingly he wasnt fucking wrong thus ‘Fighting Pixies’ was born.

C. Summer of 2012

It was the first day of Warped Tour and you couldn't be more excited. You were so excited that you didn't even care that you were in some random arena parking lot sweating your ass off in Utah. 

Not only was this Fighting Pixies first year playing Warped Tour but you were on a main stage you were going to be playing on the same stage as the bands you grew up listening to. To say the feeling was surreal would be an understatement. This is what you, Jade, Sammy and Pink have been working towards for years, you guys were finally playing the festival that you would go to every summer. 

Walking out of the bus you started making your way to the catering tent by yourself since the rest of the band left you behind because you were apparently in Pinks’ words ‘taking too goddamn long’. You roll your eyes at his words thinking how it's bullshit that they could just leave you like that, when all the sudden you collide with someone. 

“Oh shit I'm so sorry dude.”

“You alright mate?”

You and the mystery person that you just basically assaulted said at the same time. Finally after gaining your balance you look at your victim. 

“Siri?” You say raising your eyebrow when he finally looks your way with a big smile on his face.

“Oh shit Y/N! How are you? I havent seen you in fucking ages!” Sirius yells while bringing you into a hug, you hug him back laughing then pulling away.

“I've been good. I haven't seen you since you, Rem and James came to one of our shows. Is he here?” You ask, looking around hoping to catch sight of Remus.

“No not yet, he's back home with Reg, Lily and Harry. But they'll be joining us for the last few shows.”

You couldn't help but let out a little laugh. “Baby's first Warped Tour? I like it, gotta start them young.”

Sirius laughed at you, the two of you then continued on your way to the catering tent. Luckily with no further incidents.

You and the rest of Fighting Pixies met Sirius a few years ago when he collabed on a song with you guys, you also had gotten to meet James a few times during the recording process. You hadn't met the rest of ‘Beyond London’ yet, but James had made it very clear that you and their bassist, Pandora, would become fast friends. 

But you hadn’t heard much about their guitarist, Barty, except in passing from mutual friends. Sirius would complain about him sometimes but in typical lead singer fashion Sirius had a tendency to be dramatic so you never really took anything he said about Barty to heart.

Eventually you and Sirius got to the catering tent. You found your band, James and a girl you recognized as Pandora sitting at a table together. 

“Well if it isn't the second best drummer on Warped Tour.” You say with a teasing smile sitting across from James. James just laughs and shakes his head. While pink has a small smug look on his face. 

“What? So Pink’s the best drummer on tour?” James raises his eyebrow at you with a goofy smile still on his face. 

You laugh and shake your head. “No, not even close, Angelo is clearly the best drummer here. Have you heard Motionless in White’s breakdowns?” Pink then glared at you while scoffing. What? Someone has to bring his ego down.

After a few hours of making fun of each other, hanging out, watching a few bands sets and getting to know Pandora (who is literally the sweetest person ever) you and the rest of your band had to go back to the bus to get ready for your set in a few hours.

You got to get into the shower after Jade so after your shower and skin routine you walked out into the common area plopping down at the table so you could start to get your hair and other things done. 

“Dude when you were in the bathroom Sirius came over and brought Barty, dudes funny. You missed out.” Sammy said, sitting down next to you eating a bowl of cereal.

“Damn. Well I have a whole summer to run into him at some point.” You shrug, getting all your stuff out to get ready.

You actually really wanted to meet Barty based on what little you had heard about him over the years, the fact that he was one hell of a guitarist, and you'd never admit this to anymore but you were really attracted to him. Based purely off the pictures you've seen of him.

You had a lot of respect for him as a musician, you could recognize the emotions that he put into each riff, solo, hell just a strum and you could tell what he was feeling.

A part of you found it frustrating that after all these years of knowing Sirius and James you had always seemed to miss Barty, sometimes by literal minutes.

The rest of your band had met him in passing, never more than a ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ but still they've met him. 

So you couldn't help but be a little frustrated at the fact that for one of the only times that day where you weren't around your band they actually got to hang out with him. You don't know why it bothered you so much, I mean you couldn't even be upset with anyone in particular. It's literally no one's fault. So why did it bother you so much?

Eventually you and the rest of Fighting Pixies found yourselves waiting backstage to go on when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to see your new favorite blond girl. 

“Hi Pandora. What's up?”

“Hi. I just came to watch the beginning of your set. I won't be able to stay long, by the time you lot get off we'll have just started our set.” Pandora explains with her signature tooth rotting smile. 

“Aw thanks, I was actually planning on heading to your guys' set when we're done here.”

“Yes, you should!” Pandora stood up straighter with a sense of excitement and urgency about something you didn't understand, but you just thought that it was Pandora being Pandora. 

You had heard over the years that she would do or say things that didn't make much sense to really anyone so you chose to just brush it off.

“Oh I also wanted to give you theses.” Pandora says while handing you two rocks.

You take the rocks confused with a raised eyebrow. “Thanks, but what are they?”

“The orange one is citrine and the pink one is rose quartz. They're meant to bring you good luck, just put them in your pocket and they'll do their job.” Pandora says with a knowing type of smile, that once again confused you but you just nodded and put them in your pocket choosing not to question the blond.

“Y/N come on, it's time to go.” One of the stage hands says passing you your guitar. You just nodded, putting the strap over your head.

“Well I hope you like our set and I'll see you at yours.” You chuckled a little as she just nodded.

You would think after all of these years of doing this you'd be used to it at this point. That you would be used to being on stage, that the anxiety of fucking up would be gone but it didn’t go away, lessened yeah but not gone. 

You also never really get used to people singing lyrics that you wrote or helped write, especially when the words were sentimental to you at one point, but it was kind of nice to know that those words are sentimental to others now too.

You wouldn't trade this for the world. You were lucky and you knew that, so many people would kill for this chance so you didn't take it for granted.

Thirty minutes later you and your band mates were running off stage sweaty and high off adrenaline with big smiles on your faces’ your first show at your first warped tour was beyond amazing it was fucking perfect you were convinced nothing could top this feeling.

You started to make your way to Beyond London’s set. The rest of the band had other sets or people that they wanted to see so you went your separate ways for the time being. 

Eventually you made it to the stage Beyond London was playing at. You had stopped a few times to talk to people and take pictures but luckily not too many people stopped you so you made it when they started to play their last song.

After all the years you had known Sirius and James you had never actually got the chance to see them play. To say they were amazing felt like the understatement of the century. 

James looked like he was in his element on the drums, Pandora was so focused on her bass but that didn't stop her from swinging herself around, Sirius had basically every person either swooning because of his looks or crying because of how beautiful his voice was and then there was Barty. 

Just the sight of him alone made your heart skip a beat, you had never seen such raw emotion while someone played the guitar. Once your eyes landed on him you couldn't, you wouldn't, look away. The way he moved, how he would throw his head back every so often, sometimes you could see his jaw clench, you could tell he put his all into the music. You had never seen something so amazing. So perfect.

The song ended and they all started to make their way to the side of the stage you were on, Barty sayed a little longer then his band mates throwing things like his picks and set lists into the crowd. 

You were brought into a bear hug and spun around by a very sweaty Sirius. You shrieked and tried to push yourself away from him to no avail.

“Sirius Black if you don't put me down right now I'll make sure you never play another show again!” You screamed threatened while continuing your best efforts to get away from your sweaty attacker. Suddenly you hear a gasp and you're put down very quickly, almost falling while Sirius scoffs and mutters something about ‘Some people’. 

Pandora came to your rescue making sure you’re okay. You were about to scold Sirius for almost making you fall, but he was already out of sight. Pandora turned you around to have you look at her. 

You looked at her very surprised with your eyebrows raised. “What is up with the manhandling right now?” you laugh slightly awkwardly. 

“Do you still have the crystals I gave you?” Pandora asks with a serious face completely ignoring your question. 

You furrowed your brows and nodded still very confused. “Considering you gave them to me a little over an hour ago, yes. I know we don't know each other very well but have some faith in me Pandora.” You once again laughed a little trying to ease the little tension that seemed to form.

Pandora just smiled at you and hugged you and whispered. “I'm so happy for you two.”

You pulled away and looked at her once again beyond confused. “What-”

You were then interrupted by James yelling over to you. “Y/N, come meet Barty, finally.” Pandora kept smiling at you and then she just nodded at you encouragingly. For what felt like the hundredth time that day Pandora confused you and you once again just chalked it up to Pandora being Pandora.

While making your way over to the three men that stood in a little circle probably talking about the show that they just put on, you were hit with a sudden wave of anxiety. 

Why were you anxious? You had been fine (other than the major confusion you went through with Pandora)  so why does it feel like your heart is going a mile a minute.

Sirius and James are facing you while Barty’s back is towards you. As soon as you're in arms length Sirius wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him.

“Barty, this is Y/N. Y/N, Barty.” James says motioning between you two.

“Hi, it's nice to finally-” You cut yourself off when you looked into his eyes, feeling a tingle on your writs.

Your whole life you've heard stories about what meeting your soulmate felt like. How all of a sudden everything seemed less important. How you would only want to focus on that person. How you'd feel like you had a new meaning to life. Honestly you thought it was all bullshit. 

But now you knew that, that was all an understatement. 

You finally felt like you were home, like everything would be okay. It felt like breathing for the first time. 

You could play a million more shows, meet your idols, win a fucking Grammy and nothing would compare to what you were feeling when you met his eyes. And based on the look on his face, Barty felt the same way.

“Hi.” You whispered still in a shocked state.

“Hi, angel.” Barty said softly with a love sick look on his face, your heart skips a beat at the nickname and you can't help but smile. He suddenly moved his eyes to Sirius and glared at him. “You'll move your arm if you know what's good for you, Black.” 

Sirius moved his arm away from around you and put his hands up in surrender, you actually forgot Sirius and James were there let alone that Sirius had an arm wrapped around you.

You hadn't thought about your soulmate in years. You didn't ever think you'd meet them, and a part of you didn't really care if you did honestly. As long as you had your music and friends you were fine, that's what you thought at least. It was crazy how in one moment that whole mindset could change.

Now you couldn't imagine a life without Barty. You didn't want to imagine a life without him. 

For so long music was your number one priority, you didn't care about much else but now this person that you just met became your number one. It felt insane and crazy but you couldn't help it and a big part of you loved it. 

You and Barty found yourselves sitting in Beyond London's tour bus talking during the almost eight hour drive from Salt Lake City to Denver. You two just talked about your lives, childhoods, things you loved, things you hated, everything. 

He told you about his Father who you now hated almost as much as Barty. Barty had the biggest smile on his face when you told him how you felt about his father in extreme detail after the stories he told you.

Eventually you both noticed the buses pulling into a new arena parking lot while the sun was rising. Both of you knew you had to go back to your bus now, you had sets and meet and greets later that day. You needed some kind of energy. 

Barty with a cheeky smile insisted that you just join him in his bunk, you just responded with an eye roll and a ‘You wish’ which earned you a ‘You have no idea’.

Barty ended up walking you to your bus, you and him stood outside of the bus talking and stalling, not wanting to leave each other yet.

“Barty, I have to go. We need to get some sleep.” You were looking down at your hands together knowing one you needed to let go but not wanting to.

“I know angel, I know.” He gave you a sad smile as if he would never see you again. 

Barty was often scared that all of this was just a dream. That one day he would wake up back in his fathers clutches and his life as a rockstar was just a dream, it always scared him. But now in his mind it wasn't only his life as a rockstar at stake but you and that now terrified him. He had admitted this to you while you were talking that night so you didn't blame him for being hesitant. You just hugged him trying to reassure him.

“You can come over when you wake up Barty. Don't hesitate, I don't care if I'm awake or asleep. I just know that if you stay we're not gonna get any sleep.” Barty pulls away from you with a smirk and raised eyebrows, you just hit his chest and roll your eyes. “Not like that. I just mean we'll stay up talking.”

He just laughs and kisses your forehead. “I know what you meant, angel, just like teasing you is all.” He pulls you against him resting his chin on your head. “Is it bad to say I'll miss you? Even if I know it's just a few hours.”

“It's not bad because I'll miss you too.” You whisper against him. 

After a moment he pulls away again looking down at you he moves his hand to hold the side of your face, cressing you cheek with his thumb. You leaned into his touch with a small smile on your face looking up at him.

“You are now the most important thing in my life now, my angel.” He's looking deep into your eyes, not a hint of lies or regret in his words.

Barty started to lean down with a sense of hesitation, you just nodded and smiled at him letting him know it was okay. You could feel butterflies in your stomach while your heart started to race. The moment your lips touched you felt electricity run through your veins. You never experienced such an amazing feeling, you were two puzzle pieces finally coming together. You already knew Barty was your everything but that kiss solidified it. It made it real in the best way possible, you knew you couldn't ask for a better soulmate.

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