Rumination - Tumblr Posts

Ay, ewan.

Yung mga kantang tumutugtog mula sa radyo ni papa, eto yung mga kantang ang sarap pakinggan habang nasa biyahe ka papuntang probinsya o malayong lugar, eh. Tapos hatinggabi, at ang lamig-lamig. Tapos ang sarap mag-isip at magmuni-muni tungkol sa buhay at mga bagay-bagay. Sabay may eksena pang tatanaw ka ng malayo sa bintana ng kotse. 

Kay sarap ding pakinggan ang mga ganitong tugtugin tuwing tag-ulan. Parang ang sarap magpakasawi, at the same time, ang sarap ding umibig. Yung tipong bigla ka na lang malulungkot nang walang dahilan.

lol wat?

All the badly miscalculated and irrational decisions, frustration towards myself and other people, unanswered life questions, and irrelevant thoughts are plaguing me, right now. And I don't know what to do. I am drowning. At this point, it's not so much that I'm in denial of my problem, but I think it's more like I realized there was something I was doing wrong, or not doing at all.

The emotions get lost in the net, jumbled in the code, and then projected out on the screens distorted like the reflection in a fun house mirror until I can't tell what feelings are my own anymore.

I have a habit of thinking myself into a bad mood. Remind me not to think.