Sasha Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

HELLO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THE AOT CHARACTER IVKS KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT BUT ALSO HAVE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ALMOST THREW UP SO THANK YOU!!!!

And!!!!

Can I ask for AOT character's as parents but like.. the stuff they do wrong that their spouse would get mad at them for and that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE like??? "Why did you use a solo cup to feed Charles?" "All the bottles were dirty." I am LIVING for this stuff rn 😭😂

this is so fucking funny please. i love a good crack post, esp when its aot characters being stupid. here are some aot characters x stupid parent moments. also thank u for reading the icks im super glad they made you laugh ^v^ 

eren doesnt feed his babies real food. like food that will actually provide their growing bodies w nutrients and vitamins. you ask him to pack their lunch for school and you look over and see him putting in the whackiest shit: a few peanuts, a bag of cheetos, some oreos, a singular laffy-taffy. hes sick for that. also when his babies are really young and cant eat solid foods yet hes like babe can i give them a bite of pizza? can i let them try this cookie? NAUR 

mikasa read once that talking to your baby in a normal adult voice provides faster growth and development so she refuses to talk in a baby voice or play with your kid in a child-like manner. she speaks to your baby like a normal ass person (which has its pros!) but is so fucking funny to see her converse with the 2 year old like theyre 30 and paying a mortgage. shes like “what would you like for a snack?” and the baby babbles complete nonsense and shes like “ok, i dont understand that, can you enunciate a little more?” or the baby is making a mess and shes openly says “stop. thats annoying” WHAT DO U MEAN UR BABY IS BEING ANNOYING LMFAOOOOO

armin is that weird parent that doesnt let his kid watch shows like spongebob because he thinks its somehow connected to witchcraft and doesnt teach ur kid anything. like he only lets ur kid watch tv if its an educational program (fun police fr). you come home to him and ur 3 year old watching a documentary on photosynthesis. LET UR BABY WATCH SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE DORA DAMN

mentioned this before but jean lets his kids pick out their own clothes to support their decisions and encourage self expression and confidence! but the issue w that is the fact that his kid is like 5 and picks the ugliest shit that does not match....like at all.....so they leave the house looking homeless. im talking you come home and ur kid is wearing neon orange pants with brown boots and a yellow and purple blouse that says something stupid like TROUBLEMAKER <3 and ur like jean. tell me they didnt leave the house like that. (they did.)

connie complains about changing ur kids diaper every time he does it. EVERY SINGLE TIME. he still does it, but not without being such a fucking baby about it. youve been home alone watching ur baby all day and connie finally comes home and u guys are hanging out and ur like babe can you please change them im exhausted from today and hes like EW it smells so bad :/ or GROSS IT GOT ON MY HAND >:( and you can feel your eye twitching bc ur covered in baby poop and spit from the entire day 

sasha openly swears around ur child and then acts dumb/surprised when they repeat her words. she doesnt even think to censor herself when ur baby cant talk yet so shes all FUCK and SHIT around the house. which is fine until your baby’s first word is bitch and shes like O.O WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT. you come home and shes like show mama/dada/whoever what you learned today! and ur baby looks you dead in ur eyes and says bitch.

reiner does puzzles with your kid but gets equally if not more frustrated than they do when he cant figure it out. theyre doing a butterfly puzzle and reiner is trying to teach them how to separate the corner and edge pieces first. once they get to the middle pieces, the two of them are putting any piece anywhere it kinda fits, trying every combination and turning each piece every which way. he starts to get overwhelmed because why is this puzzle for eight year olds so fucking hard and ur daughter notices and is like “dad, its ok, i kinda wanna play dolls instead anyways”

im stealing ur example w the bottle for porco because its so fucking him. so nonchalant he doesnt even think twice about it. hes like oh the bottles are all dirty? why would i LOGICALLY THINK TO WASH ONE when i could just give them formula in a plastic cup? hes so fucking stupid he doesnt understand that babies like struggle swallowing and cant sip and stuff so hes like why arent you drinking? must not be hungry :/ IDIOT

@ohrintarou submitted: HIIIII CASSIEIEEIE i’ve been trying to think of an aot request and i’m thinking of being in a friend group with sasha connie and jean PDHF IT WOUDL BE SO CHAOTIC BUT KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING ILYY AND TAKE CARE OF URSELF!!<3333

SHO SHO!! this is actually such a cute idea i’m living. ty for encouraging me to start writing on tumblr and being such a sweet friend ilysm <3

gn! reader (ofc) CW: language. again. lol.

being in a friend group with sasha braus, connie springer, and jean kirstein headcanons

PLS THIS GIF LITERALLY SUPPORTS HOW CHAOTIC THEY ARE LMAO I LOVE THEM <3

if you’re also chaotic like sasha and connie, you’d join in on their bullshit and levi would scold you guys

he’d scold jean too even if he didn’t do anything bc he’s also apart of the group 💀

levi: oi shut up brats why’re you so loud so late in the night

jean: yeah guys settle down you’ll get extra chores and i don’t wanna hear you guys complain

levi: tch you too jean

jean: ?!?!?

if you’re more lowkey, you help jean settle the other two down when it comes to training so they don’t get in trouble 💀💀

one of them prolly had a short, tiny, crush on you at one point.

staying up late at night talking about anything and everything together

also trying to muffle your guys’ laughs in the pillows to avoid getting caught past curfew.

sasha steals everyone’s food so you all collectively have to restrain her to get your food back

speaking of which ^ during that scene in the gif i used, you guys would be laughing so hard at the same time when trying to get the meat out her mouth.

you still save her a couple slices of meat for when she wakes up bc you guys feel a little guilty.

connie likes to talk to you when something is bothering him and vice versa. i feel like he’s a great comfort person.

jean like to help you train if you wanna train more or need tips but he’ll be so cocky.

I GET THE VIBES THAT YOU’D ALL PLATONICALLY CUDDLE SOMETIMES BC IT’S SO COMFORTING.

you guys will always have each other’s back no matter what.

one of you are in trouble during a mission? someone is there to assist and save the other. can’t sleep? someone will be there to talk until you both fall asleep.

someone is pissing one of you off? you’re all ready to beat someone’s ass. stuck doing extra chores? they’ll be there either to keep you company or help you out.

you guys are really comfortable too. atp, you’re family and can go to each other for anything.

to rant, a laugh, share a story that happened the other day, literally anything.

PRANK WARS ON EACH OTHER

omggg and then hysterically laughing if the pranked person falls for it badly.

(if you’re a nicosha shipper (niccolo x sasha)) you three are her and niccolo’s wingmen/woman pls. (my grammar is so bad in this post i’m sorry it’s so hard lmao.)

all of you like to poke fun at her crush but you’re all happy she found someone she really loves.

ALL OF YOU TRY TO HINT AT NICCOLO THAT SHE HAS A CRUSH ON HIM TOO

(here come the protective sibling speeches when they do get together)

taking care of each other if someone gets hurt/are in the infirmary.

after missions you always look for each other to make sure everyone else is safe and okay.

YOU GUYS TELL EACH OTHER THE MOST RANDOM SHIT NO MATTER HOW DUMB IT SOUNDS

when you have off days you guys like to go to town and walk around window shopping.

and treating yourselves to good food bc you guys deserve it.

PICKING UP EACH OTHERS SLANG/MANNERISMS BC YOU’RE AROUND EACH OTHER SM IT’S SO CUTE

fights don’t last long (unless it’s really serious). you guys probably make up by the end of the day or at breakfast next morning.

if you’re a short reader, you get mad at them for growing even taller. like damn you tall ass trees.

they will never let you suffer alone and same goes for you to them.

if something is bothering you or you’re upset, they will go through it with you and make sure you know you’re not alone.

lastly, no matter how upset you are with each other, or what time of the day it is, you guys will always let each other know how much you love and care of each other (no matter how cheesy it is) <3

SORRY THIS WAS LOWK VAGUE IM TRYNA PRODUCE STUFF AFTER NOT WRITING FOR LIKE A WHOLE WEEK

i hope you still enjoyed tho sho sho LOVE YOU SM <3

aot masterlist