Sbi Family - Tumblr Posts
sbi headcanons but it's mostly Tommy, Wilbur and Techno
-Wilbur and Techno are twins. Techno is older by five minutes and never fails to mention that when he and Will are arguing. This pisses Wilbur off to the extent where he starts throwing shit.
-"You can't just come in to my room and steal my shit!" "Yes I can I'm older than you." "We're twins!" "You need to learn to respect your elders."
-They're both naturally blonde but got annoyed when people kept mixing them up with the other, so they dyed their hair pink and brown respectively.
-Wilbur is the one that will constantly bully Technoblade, but the moment someone else does it he'll rush in to defend his brother by force.
-That being said, ever fight always ends with Wilbur calling for Techno's help. And Techno always floors a bitch.
-They both did ballet. Techno is the only one that stuck to it though. Wilbur gravitated more to music.
-Wilbur tried so hard to teach Techno to play the guitar but he kept snapping the strings.
-Tommy is adopted. He was only a baby when Phil adopted him and it was a closed adoption so he doesn't remember much about his birth family.
-Sometimes, when he misses them, he'll make up stories about them in his head. His personal favourite is that his mother is an astronaut named Clara that had to go up for a mission and that's the reason she gave him up for adoption, but her ship got stranded in space and now she just floats among the planets.
-He told this to Phil once, when he was only six and made a drawing of Clara the Astronaut. Phil put up on the fridge right next to Wilbur's report card and a flyer for Techno's ballet recital.
-Wilbur was ecstatic when he found out he was getting a younger brother so he could pull the 'I'm older card' on someone for once.
-Technoblade (though he will never, ever admit it, not on his life) was extremely fond of Tommy from the moment Phil brought him home and was often the one actively playing with him all the time.
-The two of them used to play a game they called 'Warriors' where they would wrap sheets around their shoulders, carry around sticks from the backyard like swords and pretend to take down corrupt goverments. It's a special thing, just between them.
-Phil thought that Tommy was a bit young to be taking down corrupt governments.
-"You can never be too young to convert to anarchy, dad"
-Wilbur tried to get in on this game once. He was cast as the evil king they had to kill and it ended with Will covered in mud and dirt. He never asked to play again.
-This game is where Techno is given the nickname 'The Blade' by Tommy. (He had the dopeyest smile on his face while Tommy's back was turned)
-No one else is allowed to call Techno The Blade. Only Tommy. Techno will not respond to it if you do.
-Techno is also the first person Tommy goes to when he needs anything. Especially help with homework. This is because Techno can't say no to Tommy. Ever.
-Of course, Tommy exploits this. Especially when he and Will are arguing.
-There has been many "No please don't tell dad I didn't mean it I didn't mean look hit me back just hit me back" moments
-None of the boys knows what Phil does for a living. The man's life is a mystery to them each time he steps out the door for work.
-Board games are a big thing in the family. They have game night every week. Winner picks what they have for dinner.
-Monopoly isn't that competitive. They don't play it often because Techno wins after ten rounds and Wilbur gives long dramatic speechs about the world of capitalism and the economy. Tommy is always the racecar.
-But pictionary??
-Now that's their shit.
-None of them have any artistic talent (apart from Phil, who can draw dogs pretty well) and it usually results in threats of pencils being stabbed on one's eye and sheets of paper forcefully ripped up and, on Tommy's part, eaten.
-This happens most when Wilbur and Tommy are teamed up together.
-"What the fuck even it that? A headless chicken? Oh! A three legged dog! Uh, uh, a unicorn!" "The answer was chocolate chip cookie, Wilbur you blind fuck."
-For one of Techno's recitals, Wilbur and Tommy made a giant ass sign that said 'DANCE YOU PINK HAIRED FUCKER DANCE' in huge glittery writing.
-the spacing was all off though, like that one John mulaney bit.
-Techno pretended he didn't know them afterwards. The stubborn bastard walked home.