So Nervous - Tumblr Posts
So I went on my 1st REAL date today after 4 years of being a hermit crab and only taking my baby out places. Aaaand I'm not going to lie this dude is shocking me and coming at me at ALL angles with impressivness. However im internally scared and nervous. Like the old saying goes, "if its to good to be true....then it most likely is." And that means to RUN! Then there is the last thing my old neighbor said to me before she died, "it doesn't matter how long you've been together with someone, YOU WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW THAT PERSON." And it hit home with me because this society has gotten so self absorbed/selfish/ and greedy and narcissistic that the person you spend your life with could be withholding old ass skeletons in their closet they will take to their graves and you will have been played and manipulated a d never really loved all that time. Yet they smiled in your face all those years and had no trouble with sexing you though right? So its all those deep around the clock thoughts that made me keep to myself and made me terrified of opening back up to humans. But this new prospect has me deep thinking about actually wanting to be open to a "relationship" plus he's uber attractive. He has dimples even!😣😤😩 lord knows im a sucker for dimples! Whats worse for me is I dont know if he is God sent and actually someone im supposed to open up to and let in, OR if he's demon sent and just another narcissist trying to charm his way into my life to take advantage of me. 🤔😫😖 and not knowing the end result, not being a psychic to see that far into the future drives me crazy.😭😓 all I know is he's THE 1ST MAN that actually made me nervous, he called me out on my sped up heart rate when he asked to hold my hand, AND again when he noticed me trembling. no man Has EVER made me do that before! I'm stunned! What does that even mean? What if he's the one? What if im supposed to open up to him? Oh geez there goes that big fat floating "WHAT IF".
Trying to write again
So...hi! This is the first time that I blog something about myself rather than skam, harry potter, naruto, anything remotely yaoi or what's going on in the world... Though that's not going to be that true in a moment... You see, I'm a writer too, but it's been a hell of a damn long writer's block for me, and I want to try again...
Soooo.... Right now, my obsession is skam, so I will be posting a few, short, one shots following the prompts that I will publish in the next post. I was hopping to get constructive criticism and to make my imagination work again.
So if you'd like to read them and tell me what you think, you're more than welcome!
Warning though: I like some pairings that not many people like, so, no flames on that will be tolerated ^-^ thanks!!!
i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang
OOC for shrimply-here:
Oh no-
Am I gonna be known as that artist who made shrimpo abuse???—
(I mean I’m sure others have done but still I don’t wanna be known as suuuch!— I promise things will get better- T v T)
the protector and the destructor
Update day 36th: Omg guys today I’m meeting up with him 😭😭 I’m so nervous!!! After one month (more or less) we’re going to see each other, so wish me luck!!
Btw please give me recommendations!!