Space Jesus - Tumblr Posts
imagine watching Star Wars in theaters in 1977 and pointing at Darth Vader boarding a ship with Stormtroopers and then choking some guy, and exclaiming THAT'S CLEARLY JESUS CHRIST, THAT'S WHY I'M INTO THIS
I did the Math (and it ships Obikin)
According to “The Backstroke of the West”
Obikin (Allah Gold and Ratio Tile) is the Golden Ratio giving the value of the state The Force which is between 2 and 4.
8.12 is the triple 6 of the SW Universe because Palpatine.
My Calculations:
In which the Jedi are still a Hopeless Situation and Obi-wan is visualized as space Jesus more accurately than ever in a 16th century fever dream painting.
So, we know that:
Anakin = (Allah) Gold / The peaceful is willing to (a)
Obi-wan, (Alias the High ground) = Ratio (Tile) / The Willing to Compares (b)
Palpatine = Speaker D (X) = 8.12(4) = √66 [ aka root of (order) 66 ] (c)
So from (a) (b) and (c) we get the Golden Ratio for the state of the Force
C= A/O where
C is the state of the Wish Power/ Force A and O are the dark side values of Anakin and Obi-wan (Average Jedi/ Hopeless situation warrior) respectively and X is the current value (there were worst Siths than Speaker D) of the Sith Lord/ South Host Threshold.
At the darkest value of C ≈ X (Canon) Gold gets roasted and is Reaching the west of reaches and, sticking to the idea of Obi-wan being space Jesus, the High ground is low, so it’s technically Limbo. The Hieronymus Bosh one where Palpatine’s fat head devours his apprentices. (Technically Nihilus would be more fitting but Palps is the Sith Lord in Obi-wan’s story)
At the Realistic and stable values of 2 < C < 4 The peaceful is willing to compare locations for the best conditions for Golden Ratio of the balance of the Wish Power where they can settle down after giving the middle finger to the Presbyterian church and leaving the Hopeless Situation of the end ground for the High Ground.
Technically, Jinn could also be translated as gold but he isn’t even named in The Backstroke of the West, not even in the one line where he’s originally mentioned.
the thing that's so fucking funny abt kira and sisko's relationship is she's like look sometimes i need to talk to you as my boss sometimes i need to talk to you as my good pal ben and sometimes i need to talk to you as jesus. and sometimes her boss refuses a request and she goes, please, jesus and he's like. fuck you fine. and then twenty minutes later it's like oh my good pal ben and i are gonna go watch baseball later :) and they never discuss this.
Day 8 - Forbidden Relationship
Obi Wan Kenobi x you
Contents: smut/drabble, fem!reader x episode 2 Obi Wan, corruption kink
W/C: ~600
Soooo I’m so behind but I swear to you I will post all of these chapters!! It just might be a little late. The next few should be faster though - with some of the more ‘vanilla’ prompts on my list I feel like I have to write more background to make it worth the read, but the kinkier ones are just going to get straight into it lol
Kinktober Masterlist | General Masterlist | AO3
“I shouldn’t be doing this…” He muttered into your neck, and your walls fluttered around him in response. He said it every time, and yet, here he was. There was just something arousing about knowing your pussy is so fucking good it had a Jedi crawling back for more, breaking his covenant over and over just so he can fuck you.
The first time was intoxicating. You knew that he was a virgin - it wasn’t hard to tell - and you were apprehensive, but it didn’t matter that it didn’t last long, or that you didn’t orgasm… The power you felt. The control. Getting to coax him through it, seeing his face when he first pressed himself deep into your velvet core, knowing that you were corrupting a Jedi knight... It was like nothing you had ever experienced.
The second time, he couldn’t keep his hands off you. He was needy and desperate, lips and fingertips ghosting across every inch of your skin like a man starved. A man who had been deprived of pleasure for so long and now, he couldn’t help but indulge.
The third time, you went down on him. Took your time, letting your tongue run up and down his shaft, swirling around his head and smearing his precum gently before you took him completely into your mouth. He was a mess by the time you finally obliged his whines, his tip hitting the back of your throat with a moan from you. The look of pure pleasure and surprise on his face when you swallowed every last drop of his load as he came down your throat.
“But it feels so gooood, doesn't it?” You drawled, and he groaned pitifully. You’d lost count of the amount of times he’d promised it would never happen again, that he needed to stop, and yet here he was, buried to the hilt inside you. It was only recently that he’d realised you didn’t derive the same kind of pleasure as he did from your hookups, and he practically begged you to teach him how to help you out. You weren’t exactly going to say no to that. So you showed him how you touched yourself. Made him watched as you reached a climax.
The way he blushed afterwards… You loved the way it made you feel. His innocence. And how easily you could break it.
And now, his hand delved towards your folds, and you moaned as his thumb brushed across your sensitive clit, hips bucking as he continued to rut into you.
“Right there, baby…” you whispered, kissing his neck lightly and twisting your fingers into his hair. “Stars that’s perfect, keep going…” He groaned and sunk his teeth into your bare breath, beard scratching the delicate skin.
“That’s it… oh yes that’s it…” he whispered as you came around his cock, whining his name and his own orgasm followed not long after.
As he lay on top of you, breaths heavy, you thought about how this is normally when he’d say it had been a mistake, when he’d leave and apologise and swear up and down that’s he’d never return.
But now, he sighed contentedly, fingers drawing lazy patterns onto your shoulder, eyes fluttering closed. You smiled to yourself, knowing he was yours.