Star Poems - Tumblr Posts
I looked at the stars tonight. I lay splayed open on the porch table, bathed in starlight and sticky with dew. I had to towel off the surface before I layed down but there was still a layer of dampness that stuck to me even through the thin blanket I wrapped around myself.
As I looked up, I constantly tugged on the edges of the blanket to cling to my curves but it kept rolling down and soon enough I stopped trying as the stars watched me and the cold air swept across my flesh.
I watched one shooting star go by, and then two, and then three, and more. One blazed across the heavens like a great ball of fire and sparks streaked in its wake, hanging there, in the sky, for a few seconds before fizzling out.
You crossed my mind multiple times. The imprint of you is still there and looking into that vast and bejeweled abyss I saw my own reflection and those things that haunt my eyes, like when your friends came over to my house and we lay in a pile on my porch stargazing even though the full moon made it hard to see. Or that time we lay under the stars in my ball dress and you told me you were sorry this wasn't going to last forever.
A slow sadness crept in when I felt antsy to go back inside. Before, nothing could take me from looking up at our speckled universe but I have been out of the habit so long. All I can feel is every time I got out of the car and I looked up and gasped. I would stare with my neck craned backwards and want to sit there forever, and I would have, until every time you grabbed my hand and hauled me inside and your future promise of stargazing was never answered.
You robbed me of my greatest love and I am still clawing to get it back and I don't understand how you ever thought a girl with stars in her blood should be hauled back inside like an escaped convict while rolling your eyes. Why did I let you, why didn't I fight you? Oh, why did you have to smother me?
The sky does not smother me, the air does not fight me, and those glittering stars kiss me with a love of which you were never capable.
-After, August 2023
(s.m.)