Stardew Headcanons - Tumblr Posts
I think Aizawa would like Stardew Valley.
He's just a little autistic guy. It kinda comes with the territory.
He would be the type of player to not have any interactions with the townsfolk, and focus fully on farming.
Of course he would have a cat that gets fed and pet every day, no exceptions.
He would pick the mushroom cave because it's a reliable, steady source of food and sellable goods.
Sam is too young for him, so I feel like the person he would like the most would probably be Elliot because he has a thing for men with long pretty hair.
He would be the MOST efficient player. Getting super good, playing super well and getting his farm upgraded in no time.
I feel like his favourite part of the game is fishing. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I feel like he would like the tranquil calmness of it, and the lil minigame is good for honing hand-eye coordination skills.
He doesn't sleep through the winter, and instead he goes down to the mines every day and grinds down a bunch of levels.
What the Bachelor/ettes Would Dress Up as for Halloween
Here’s a short one for today. Happy Halloween, everyone!
No cut because it's relatively short. Mentions of fake blood. Enjoy <3
Sam
Used a werewolf costume but is supposed to be the Big Bad Wolf
Probably cut up one of his flannels for the costume
Jodi is very upset about that, it was a nice flannel!
Has a full wolf mask that opens when he talks
Vincent screamed bloody murder when Sam came out of his bedroom
Apparently Sam was unaware that Vincent has a phobia of werewolves
The More You Know™
He felt a little bit bad about that, but thankfully was able to calm down his little brother eventually
Seb
A wizard Rasmodius is amused
Probably was going to wear it for a cosplay to comic-con years ago but ended up not being able to go
He’s got a full gray beard, with long billowing robes and everything
Probably has a scepter that he made himself out of paper mache and clay
Definitely wears a wizard hat, too
But the robes are so long that he almost lands on his face multiple times throughout the night
Eventually he resorts to holding up the ends of his robes like a princess
Abigail and Sam cannot stop laughing
Alex
Dressed up as Ken
Didn’t want to bleach his hair blonde, but the spirit is there!
Probably has a pink neck tie and a pink button up polo
Takes his role very seriously
Probably learned the choreo for “I’m Just Ken”
Also got Dusty a glittery pink collar for the occasion
Calls literally every woman in town “Barbie” for the whole night
George is weird about it, but Evelyn is having a blast lmao
Elliott
Dressed up as Mark Twain
He carries around a fake raven skull for the bit
Waxes poetic about death and mortality
Probably quotes a few of Twain’s books but only the very obscure bits that only another “Twain connoisseur” would recognize
Leah tries to comfort him as best she can when no one recognizes him
Even though no one recognizes her either
Shane
A mummy
Wrapped himself in toilet paper and called it a day lmfao
Jas makes a stink about not matching with him though
She has a gorgeous fairy dress and was going to wear her bunny-jewel slippers
Marnie was going to put glitter in her hair and everything
But nope
Uncle Shane was going as a mummy, and so she wanted to be a mummy
It’s the cutest thing in the world
Shane is cheesing the whole night, and the rest of the town is terribly endeared by the two of them
Marnie doesn’t even mind the money spent on Jas’ original costume
They look too happy to be upset about it, anyway
Harvey
Dressed up as a homicidal/mad doctor
He’s not terribly creative, and he’s already got all of the costume pieces anyway
Everyone asks him why he didn’t dress up
He is very perturbed by that
Of course he dressed up! Don’t you see the fake blood on his coat?
What about the wild hair and the dark circles??
No? Seriously?
Maru
A robot!
Goes all-the-fuck-out
Has fully functioning extra limbs, probably a voice manipulator as well
Spent months on her physical costume, and Penny helped her with the make-up on the day of
Bought colored contacts that make her eyes look mechanical
Probably also built a candy dispenser into the suit so when Jas and Vincent run around getting candy from all of the villagers, she just presses a button on her wrist band and her stomach opens up to reveal a bowl of candy
The kids love her
Penny
She dressed up as Red Riding Hood, but with a twist!
She’s also a wolf!
Her and Sam are doing a duo costume
So she’s got the little dress and the hood, but the edges are tattered and she’s got insane costume makeup on
No wolf mask for her, unfortunately, but the effort she put into every other aspect of it makes up for it
Is horrified to find that Vincent is terrified of her
She probably feels bad about it for a few weeks after that and vows never to touch a wolf costume ever again
Abigail
Abigail dressed up as a skeleton
Got a few black clothes and drew an anatomically correct skeleton on them with bleach and paintbrushes
It’s wildly impressive
The sweatshirt she used will 100% be worn again, even when it isn’t Halloween
Got a face paint palette and made her face look like an actual skull
Probably pinned her hair back under a black wig cap or something to keep it cohesive
When she shows up for the festival, no one actually knows it’s her because she’s covered head-to-toe
Also has full-eye contacts that make her scleras black
Confuses the hell out of the skeletons Marlon has in those old cages, also confuses Marlon for like half a second before he realizes that it’s a costume
Haley
Barbie. Obviously.
Her and Alex are also doing a duo costume!
Has her hair in a high ponytail
Everything is glittery, sparkly, and pink, pink, pink
Did her nails even pinker and sparklier
Probably has a little purse with a stuffed chihuahua in it
Abandons that idea when she sees Dusty, though
He looks so handsome with his pink collar, you know?
She posts pictures of their costumes on her socials after the night is over
Leah
Dressed up as Leonardo Da Vinci
Everyone thinks she’s just some old French Noble or something
Which breaks her heart
And not just because Leonardo was Italian
Oh, except for Haley!
Haley knows who she is right off the bat, and compliments her costume very genuinely
Leah feels a little better after that, until she has to run away and comfort Elliott
“I’ve got a raven skull and everything!” / “I know, I know.”
Someone save her lmfao
Emily
Made her whole costume from scratch
She’s a strawberry fairy!
She makes a gorgeous pink tulle dress with embroidered strawberries and fairy wings sewn to the back of it
And she made a headband with some poseable wiring and green cloth to look like strawberry leaves
Her shoes are some chunky pink mary jane “flats”
Also probably made strawberry charms to clip onto the straps
Has a basket full of strawberry candies that she passes out to everyone
Haley helped her do her makeup, and she’s got painted freckles on her cheeks to look like seeds
Altogether she’s the cutest fucking thing anyone has ever seen
maybe a weird ask, but what do you think the bachelors/ettes superpowers would be?
Imagining the marriage candidates with some kind of ability was both super fun and also a pain in the ass. I didn’t want to go the obvious route with anyone, and I also didn’t want to make any of them into an actual superhero, so, under the assumption that they exist in a world where everyone is super-powered in some way or another, I came up with these. I also made sure that they all had some kind of drawback or a “catch” of some kind, so they wouldn’t be completely broken powers.
I don't think there are any necessary warnings this time. Enjoy!
Sam
Everyone’s favorite golden retriever boy gets Instrument Manipulation. It’s the kind of power that does exactly what it says on the tin. Sam can manipulate instruments, but unlike Musical Mastery, for example, Sam is only able to use this ability to play on instruments he’s already familiar with. We know he can play the guitar and the drums, but he wouldn’t be able to use this ability to play the violin, or something. He could probably use it to bash someone up the head with one, though.
Sebastian
Before anyone gets excited—we’ve only got room for one sorcerer in Pelican Town, and that’s Rasmodius. With that in mind, Sebastian’s superpower is Cyber Presence. The ability to exist within cyberspace, and effectively exist everywhere, all at once—as long as there’s some level of technology in that area. Whether it be a global computer network, radar or security systems, or even satellites, Sebastian would be given the freedom to enter and exist in the cyber world at his own will. However, if any of the devices have a virus of some kind, it will affect his physical form and could potentially harm or otherwise “alter” him.
Alex
You’d think he’d get something like super strength or super speed, but I think Alex would get the most use out of Enhanced Stamina. He’d be able to practice gridball for hours to days without tiring, and he’d have no issues with helping around the farm for as long as he needed to. If you chose to have children in the future, I imagine he could keep up with the kiddos without breaking a sweat either. This wouldn’t be an absolute thing—he would get tired eventually, but he’d last a while. A few days of uninterrupted activity, at most, but he'd never go that long. Granny Evelyn still worries, you know!
Elliott
Literary Travel allows the user to effectively “dimension hop” between different works of fiction. Elliott can act as himself in these fictional worlds, but cannot affect the plotline or the outcome of whatever story is being told. He would also only be able to hop into these fictional works while touching the physical medium(books, movie CDs, etc.). Elliott would use this ability in a myriad of ways, but as a man who’s constantly wrapped up in the dramatics and whimsy of life, I think he’d use it most often as a form of escapism. He’d have a limit for how much time he could spend in alternate realities, and his escapades would always be dreamlike. It would allow him the freedom to explore those places, but it wouldn’t deteriorate his perception of his reality, which I think is important.
Shane
I want him to be able to speak to his chickens, so Shane gets Zoolingualism. He wouldn’t be able to speak the language of an animal that’s gone extinct, but he can speak to every other animal with ease as long as meets a member of that species once. Unlike Marnie, who can perfectly replicate and mimic animal sounds and literally speak their language, Shane communicates in a more intangible way. Rather, he speaks to the animal, and the intentions, emotions, and thoughts are injected into the animal’s brain. The opposite is also true for him. He comes off as a bit anti-social to the people who meet him, mostly because he spends all of his time in the barn communicating with the animals instead of the humans outside. Chickens are safer.
Harvey
I thought about giving him Flight because I’m an asshole, but eventually I decided against it. Instead, Dial allows Harvey to speed up or slow down an individual’s healing by manipulating a patient’s cells. Harvey can accelerate the healing process by quite a fair margin, and after so many years of mastery, he’s completely abandoned stitches because he can seal any wound closed on his own. Further, if he were setting someone’s fractured limb, their time with a cast would be severely shortened by using his ability. However, he can not immediately cure any or all ailments, and using his ability for long periods of time will give him body aches. He may go too far or push himself a little too hard, and his body has shown the effects of that in recent years. He’s not able to bounce back as quickly as he used to.
Maru
You may have thought that I’d go with something obvious like Absolute Intelligence or whatever, but we all know intelligence isn’t Maru’s lack, so let’s ignore her brains for a moment and shift gears. Interstellar Projection would fit her best. Being able to project herself through the infinite cosmos and visit the trillions of solar systems she’s only ever been able to see fuzzy glimpses of through her telescope would be a dream come true for her. However, because she is a human and could not survive in the vacuum of space without substantial protection, she would only be able to project her consciousness into space—not her physical form.
Penny
Telekinesis is Penny’s superpower. I think due to her responsibilities and her personal interests, being able to interact with objects without ever laying a finger on them would make a ton of things easier for her. Washing dishes, cleaning her home, cleaning up the library table after teaching the children, and reading would all be far simpler for her. Her emotions would affect it, however, so if she and Pam ever got into a heated argument in the trailer, their belongings might start levitating. She can manipulate inanimate objects, but cannot manipulate living things. She couldn’t make Vincent float, for example.
Abigail
I considered Invulnerability and Weapons Mastery for Abigail, but I think both of those would kill her enjoyment of swordsmanship and adventuring. So instead, I think she would get the most use out of Tactical Analysis. With the ability to see the perfect course of action when going head to head with a floor full of powerful monsters, I imagine she’d be one hell of an adventurer, but she’d still have to train her ass off to succeed with the kinds of plans her brain comes up with.
Haley
Charisma isn’t something Haley struggles with, but I think it’s an ability that fits her best. Being wealthy, popular, and having an ability to charm people would have contributed heavily to her developing a conceited and selfish personality, but after she expands her worldview and loses her superficial tendencies, I think she’d use her ability for good. If you’ve seen her heart event after getting married, you know exactly what I’m talking about. However, this ability’s effectiveness wears off the better you know her, and doesn’t have any effect on people she’s related to by blood, so it doesn’t work on Emily, and it stopped working on Alex a long time ago.
Leah
Leah’s ability is Foresight. Being a mix of Wisdom, Future Vision, Fate Sight, and Analytical Precognition, Leah has the ability to see a short distance into the future. Her ability takes the form of visions, lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a minute long. They are usually random, but if she focuses on herself very carefully, she can induce a vision. The ones that she doesn’t call forward are far more pressing and require more of her attention. Namely, a few visions in the months leading up to the end of her abusive relationship with Kel(y’all know how I feel about them), and even some regarding the Farmer’s appearance in the valley. She always has a pretty nasty migraine after a vision though, and needs to hold warm or cold compresses against her eyes to soothe the aching.
Emily
Emily was a toss up between a few powers, but eventually I settled on Omnilingualism. This ability allows the individual to speak all human languages fluently. Emily has a few cutscenes and lines in-game that make it clear that she isn’t lacking in the supernatural department, but her most notable characteristic is her immense kindness and empathy. Her desire to help others is admirable, and so I gave her this ability in the hopes that it would make it easier for her to offer aid to a plethora of different people. However, she’d only be able to speak a language after formally meeting a person who spoke it, so she couldn’t learn any dead languages.
boo 👻 pretty nsfw ask here, what expressions do you think the bachelors and/or bachelorettes make when they cum?
Hehehe I love asks like these, this is fun. I wish I could draw little doodles to get my point across but I will have to stick to words. I just wrote about the bachelors and I hope that's okay 👉🏻👈🏻
Alex: He's not one to make a lot of noise during sex, because he's gotten accustomed to masturbating very quietly with his grandparents in the next room. So instead of being loud, Alex makes a lot of faces while he's having sex. He bites his lip, and he strains, and he squeezes his eyes shut. When his climax finally arrives, though, Alex's eyes get really wide. His normally cocky expression has faded, and Alex looks very vulnerable when he comes. He laughs a little as he shudders—his eyes glazing over before he slumps forward on his partner's chest. Alex will spoon you then, cradling you like the most precious thing he's ever held.
Elliott: Unlike Alex, Elliott is used to having his place to himself. So he's fairly loud in bed. He's generous with his praise, and practically spouts verse when he's having sex. Because of his red hair, Elliott's blushes are more noticeable. At the height of pleasure, Elliott whimpers and whines quite a bit, and his mouth tends to drop open. When he reaches orgasm he first tosses his head back, then puts one of his hands behind his partner's head so they maintain eye contact. He gets emotional during climax and oftentimes says he loves you. If you respond in turn, Elliott may even tear up. As his orgasm ebbs into soft bliss, Elliott kisses his partner all over their face.
Harvey: Not as quiet as Alex, but not as loud as Elliott. Harvey makes a lot of low, rumbling noises when he's having sex. They come from deep in his chest. Like Elliott, Harvey is generous with his praise, but he whispers it in a rush of erotic murmurs that you can't fully discern. He rolls his eyes back, he huffs and groans. If he keeps his glasses on, they begin to steam up, and he laughs a little as his partner removes them. When his orgasm is imminent, Harvey's face contorts. A partner who doesn't know better might mistake it for pain. But based on the noises Harvey is making it becomes clear that it's the opposite of pain. A look of adoration then sweeps Harvey's face as he rides out his climax and winds his hands into his partner's hair. A soft smile passes his lips. He's so happy to be in your arms.
Sam: Like Alex, Sam is used to having to keep his voice down in his mother's house. But it takes less prodding for him to be loud once he can let loose. Aside from Elliott, Sam is the loudest bachelor during sex. He whines, and he pleads, and he stutters out curse words, his hips bucking with every thrust. Sam is a very needy man, and it shows all over his face. His face takes on an earnest expression, like he's begging his partner to tell him he's doing a good job. When they tell him, Sam's joyful energy radiates, and he lights up like a candle. Upon climax, Sam hollers a bit, and his tongue tends to loll out of his mouth. It's adorable.
Sebastian: Sebastian has a hard time being vulnerable, and even when masturbating often closes his eyes during climax. He tends to sling his arm across his face, gritting his teeth as he arches his back. During sex with someone he's grown to trust, however, Sebastian finally lets his guard down. He looks into their eyes, and sees that he doesn't have to be afraid. Sebastian is very pale of course, so the most flushed you'll ever see him is during sex. He's a groaner, and a panter. His thrusts tend to be punctuated with swears, and his praise is choked out in throaty bursts. When he comes, Sebastian still closes his eyes, but he doesn't squeeze them shut like he does when masturbating. His face takes on a meditative calm. Sebastian feels safe in your arms.
Shane: Oh, Shane. What can the writer say about Shane's orgasm that she hasn't already described dozens of times before? Well, for starters we know that Shane arrives in Pelican Town a broken man. He's deeply unhappy, and it shows. When he masturbates Shane usually does it in the shower. While it does give him momentary relief, it isn't quite enough to dull the ache that lives in his heart. After trust has been built and Shane has sex with a partner he cares about, he's enthralled that someone wants to touch him. He struggles with eye contact initially though, because he's afraid that the entire thing is a dream. His partner will have to gently coax him, urging him to look into their eyes. Shane does, and a flushed, enamoured, almost dopey expression creeps onto his face. When a higher level of comfort is reached, Shane becomes an animal in bed. He growls, and he swears, and he utters filthy words of praise. Shane grits his teeth a lot, and if his partner makes certain noises he smirks at them. He loves being the reason someone is falling apart from pleasure. When he approaches climax, Shane will likely also tell you he loves you, but not in the tender way Elliott does. Shane tells you he loves you in a desperate, frenetic way—like his lips have finally found prayer but not the grace to express it. He's pink with exertion and glee, and makes harsh sounds when he finishes. Then, like Alex, Shane wraps his partner in his arms—deep waves of calming bliss taking hold after years of disquiet.