Suicidal Ideation Tw - Tumblr Posts
she could hear it , the sound of his heart overflowing and his head filled with static. digits gently brush through his hair as he laid his head down upon her lap. words flow from his mouth , confessing guilt and uncertainty . . . a hope that's burning out. however words unsaid , tsutako had stopped . . . digits weave through hair before both hands reach down to position his head to look up at her. though she couldn't see , head tilts down as his breathing was faint “ oyakata-sama does not see you as a seat filler giyu ---- and whether or not we believe we deserve to live or die . . . or how unfair life can be ---- ” something tsutako knew so well. losing the love of her life and her sight , tsutako could no longer see the beauty that life had to offer . . . not that she could think of one.
overwhelmed , his heart bore her previous state . . . health deteriorated at times in the past but urokodaki - san reminded her that she still had someone important in her life. a life she vowed to always be there for . . . tsutako leaned forward , kissing his forehead. “ sabito and i both value your life. i would not change a thing if the gods had asked --- we all go through times of doubt. there are days where i feel exhausted and wonder if my life was worth it but i knew someone depended on me , just like they depend on you. ” a young boy , one she could imagine . . . a smile warm like the sun “ will you be able to face sabito ? --- god forbid your life comes to an end so soon . . . i'd like for my precious brother to smile without such a heavy weight on his shoulder. ”
( will you be able to rest in your grave knowing you did everything possible to the very end. )
﹆⋆ cont. giyu tomioka
omfg Blitzø you're so hot could you please actually just kill me?
"I mean, how much are you willing to spend on this?" Blitz asked, and hopped up to sit on his desk, sipping at a smoothie. There really was nothing better than a hotsauce-and-brimstone smoothie for lunch, he thought with a contented sigh, especially with crushed up eggshells scattered over the top.
"Cause you gotta pay me in cash, up front. Obviously. Although I guess I should, like... ask if you're. You know. Okay?"
He tried to ask it casually, but there was a spark of real caring and concern there.
Leaning forward a little, Blitz said:
"Here's the thing. Staying alive is what matters, no matter what shit is going on in your brain telling you otherwise: that is a lie, and a real fuckin' dangerous one, cause it's hard as shit to tell yourself that it's a lie. Sometimes you gotta go through Hell, like way more figurative than," he gestured towards his office window, "actual fucking Hell, but you keep going. Keep fighting. Don't give up. I have clawed my fucking way to where I am, and have wanted to just--stop. And give up, and give in. So many times. So I can tell you, it's worth it to keep fighting. No matter how hot I am," he added with an attempt at a grin, but it faded quickly, replaced by a look only few ever saw, a wall coming down that Blitz didn't usually let down. The unconditional caring, the readiness to love.
Reaching out, he took the Sinner's hand and squeezed it maybe a little too gently, his expression soft. "So, guess I've revised my answer. No. I won't. Maybe you're tired and think you don't have fight left in you, or you just get off on the thought of doing some real kinky but real final shit with someone you're into, but listen. There are less self-destructive kinks to play with. And you are stronger than you know. I know, cause I was... This fucking close. And somehow kept pulling myself forward. If I could do it... Then you sure as fuck can do it.
"Life is worth living. Even here in Hell."
---[If you are in the US and struggling with thoughts of wanting to not be around anymore, call or text 988 if you need to, or reach out to friends and loved ones. Asking for help can be terrifying, and often the hardest part of the whole thing, but it's worth it. You are worth it.]---
