Suicidal Remus Lupin - Tumblr Posts

i hc that remus had depression for most of his life. i have depression, but mine isn't really bad. it's just like... he gets on with his life, he gets up and gets ready and has food and so on. Sometimes, he feels joy. but most of the time he just feels... meh. it's not good, and it'll never be good, but he has enough to not make it bad. He thinks about death a lot, how he would do it, when he would do it, how others would be affected by it. he tried once in third year. he's tried multiple subtle ways to just die. he's never told anybody though. because then they'll worry. they'll all worry.

then fifth year comes. they're in the middle of a war, people are dropping like flies and christmas comes and his family gets attacked. hope lupin dies.

and suddenly that feeling of emptiness can't be filled anymore. it's a void and it gobbles everything in it's wake. he's okay, he feels things and he gets on but he doesn't want too, and sometimes he just can't. and then accidentally casts diffindo. on himself. and suddenly he has just another odd thing about himself he has to hide.