Take The Time Ya Need - Tumblr Posts

Okay, this is gonna be long and I apologize but here goes:

So last night, I had a dream that I was a completely different person. Living in a different home, had a younger sister, and a different dad. But what really stuck out was that, simply put, I was a girl. And truth be told, I didn’t hate it. In fact I kinda liked it. This is not the first time I’ve had a dream like this and I imagine it won’t be the last.

Here’s the thing. I don’t completely hate being born male, but I’ve noticed ever since I came out as genderfluid, there was something about drawn as female even addressed as such that appealed to me. Maybe it’s cause recently I’ve noticed I’m mostly drawn to femininity?

My real conflict is how I don’t even know what to do if I even were to come out as trans. Especially to someone like my dad since I do remember him once making a very insensitive remark when LGBT was brought up on TV during Pride Month.

But that’s not even the biggest problem, it’s transitioning, but not because I wouldn’t be able to do it fully. See, if it were a matter of changing my personal email (cause it does use my real full name) it wouldn’t be too bad, even though it would be time-consuming. But in terms of HRT, laser hair removal, bottom surgery, and even changing my legal name? Those are all things that would cost not just time, but also money that I don’t even know I have.

So yeah, in terms of my gender, just seems like I’m the same way I feel my life in general is going: Stuck. Thankfully I’m meeting with my therapist this week so I’ll see what he says. For now, feel free to address at whatever pronouns you want to and draw me however you want. I might take a few days off of social media to collect my thoughts.