That Is Some Good Alt Text Right There! - Tumblr Posts

razzek

1 year ago

Morticia Addams and Joel Glicker (the little Jewish boy from the summer camp in Addams Family Values) are walking through a vast portrait gallery. Joel stops, mouth open, to look up at something. "Wow..." he says. "Who are THEY?"

Morticia and Joel look up at a portrait of two people. On the left is a young blond girl in pilgrim-style clothing (Thomasin from the horror film The vvitch), looking adoringly up at a huge man in rich black and gold clothing with a goat's head. They are standing against a background of winter-bare trees, and in the distance, naked women dance around a fire.

"Ah, yes..." says Morticia. "My great-great grandmother, Thomasin Phillip, and her devoted husband..."

Morticia gazes up at the portrait, lifting one graceful hand up to her face. "She invented margarine, the most evil of spreads. They truly lived deliciously... Until she perished in the great toaster fire of 1814."

Thoroughly disturbed, Joel takes a puff off of his asthma inhaler.

Seb and I watched Addams Family Values and decided that Thomasin (and her husband, Black Phillip) from The VVitch was obviously an ancestor of Morticia's.

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that is some good alt text right there! also I love this XD addams family rad art

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