[ .. The Way I Adore Them So Deeply Omg. .. ] - Tumblr Posts

it wasn't the time to think about how it was dacey under her hands, instead she dwells on the fact that she has done similar minor surgeries like this before. it's usually a woman desperately attempting to rid herself of a child; poor women who had nowhere else to turn but the knife. "it will sting, and feel hot, before it numbs .. myrish fire is aggressive, but it is effective," she explains as she washes her hands; blood and salve staining the water. she turns towards her guest, who's presence — now that the crisis is averted and her job as healer is done — returns to the aura of dacey (rather than a client in need of help; which is sometimes the only way she can work .. vida cares for so few people, it is infinitely harder to treat them) .. "dacey —-"

vida dries her hands on a clean cloth and then closes her hand over the (thankfully) dull blade dacey had used, sliding it away and out of immediate sightline. and then she pushes the stray hairs away from daceys face .. cupping her cheek and wiping away a few tears. "no, you're not mad — far from it, i promise you." instinctively she shifts so dacey can comfortably lean against her without straining her wound, vida's voice is soft, but calm, continuing — "i have worked with midwives before, ones who are separate from the rigidity of faith and society, and many of them believe that mothers who have been robbed of having their children in their lives .. their bodies can recreate the sensation of having a child inside them. the old reachborn midwives call it a blossom babe; as it is only a budding blossom but not a flower. as for arys .. i do not think he ever left you. your boy is in the wind, and in the snowflakes, and in joffrey ..

.. but — promise me, dacey, that you will never again try to search from him inside your belly," vida asks, not quite demanding, but sternly and out of concerned love; and she tilts dacey's grief-worn face up to hers and carefully dabbing at her face with a cool, soft cloth. instead of telling her to stop, or that she is wrong for the way that her trauma has attached itself to her mind, as many probably have or would have.. (vida doesn't know this pain; she's never conceived a child let alone lost one) — vida's instinctive and only reply is: "instead .. come to me, find me ... as quickly as you can. i may not be a midwife, but i know many ways to safely check if there is a babe growing inside you, and i can teach you how to do it yourself when i am away. but you must never use a blade like this again."

cheeks are stained and puffy,ㅤpale fingers press into the bandaged flesh of her stomach as bare feet dangle from the table she is perched uponㅤ-ㅤher first instinct led her here,ㅤnot to a maester,ㅤnot to a septa,ㅤto vida.ㅤto her good sister.ㅤher stomach burns hot beneath the cloth,ㅤthe fresh gashes now sewn and cleaned out of dirt and tearsㅤ-ㅤwhat a state the bear maiden must look,ㅤbut she trusted vida.ㅤdacey trusted vida to keep her secret.

"ㅤi thought he was in there . . .ㅤi thought he came back to me . . .ㅤi was just . . .ㅤ"ㅤtears well up in dazed eyes as a choked sob pushes passed her lips,ㅤgaze flickering from the healer to the instrument she had used to dig at her abdomen.ㅤ"ㅤmy baby boy . . .ㅤ"ㅤthough it had been many a year since the loss of her scandalous pregnancy,ㅤthe motherhood that was ripped away from her was as fresh as the day it happened.

sobs quieten at the warmth of vida's hand,ㅤleaning into the touch as a child would do to seek comfort.ㅤeyes shut and her voice comes out quietly,ㅤtrembling.ㅤ"ㅤam i going mad to think my arys was returned to me,ㅤvidaㅤ?ㅤ"

source / @bruiisedpetals