There Probably Was But Hey I Get Perpetual Confusion As A Consolation Prize! Neat Right? - Tumblr Posts

On the topic of sexual orientation though, I’m pretty unsure if I like men or women.

I find it easier to write male preds in the way I want, but I’m not sure if that’s attraction to the male sex rather than the writing potential of the archetypes and mythos built up around the male sex and the fact that male pronouns are slightly less unwieldy to use repeatedly in sentences.

There’s a reason the tongue twister “she sells sea shells by the sea shore” starts with she and it’s cause linguistically “sh” is a bitch of a sound to rangle.

And honestly even though I did experience attraction to women as a teen I’m unsure if that was because my hormones were a raging mess or not. I think it’d be easier to know what I like if it felt like my fetish, you know if it felt obsessive or like it was with me even before my body fully understood what sex actually was.

But as things are I’m not sure I can really tell the difference between aesthetically appreciating someone’s body and sexual attraction at least not without a fetish to fall back on.

I think that’s cause I repressed the shit out of any attraction I did feel to anyone growing up. So now I don’t really know what to do with it. In my defense my hormones always felt completely inconsistent and like they’d freak out over anything so ignoring them was kinda necessary. But I’m wondering if there wasn’t a less maladaptive way to go about it…