There's Always A Reason - Tumblr Posts
Very perfectly written. Just wanted to add - In India atleast , Even in the families not centered around wealth and unhealthy life choices , arranged marriage is VERY Common . Usual norm is , girl graduates - starts earning- two years into the job gets married because by that time you've saved enough for a wedding and yourself. Parents actively seek out prospected grooms , and their opinion is EQUALLY valued as a woman's own. I have been raised in a family like this , where all pairs got matched to each other through parents and are actually happy. I am raised with absolutely all modern values and I'm perfectly familiar to all westernised culture , but even I see my wedding / marriage having at least 50% parental influence. Nothing wrong in it , I love my parents so I trust their choice as good as mine.
We do grow up in a culture where divorce is very uncommon and tales of divorce are only centered around extreme life choices like abuse / money laundering / to have kids or not. It is not a fair system to women most of the times , but if it works out ; it's the same as getting married on your own.
Religious influence matters as well. In my religion , the one who I marry is supposed to be my soulmate for next SEVEN lives. So yeah ,talk about finding your soulmate in every of those lifes to get married...
When you're from a south asian or south east asian country , especially from a slightly well off family , you'll understand why the idea of women accepting arranged marriages and all the abuse that comes with it is so normalized. Its what we see and grow up with. We don't know any different. I had the privilege of having slightly understanding parents who took my choices into consideration but I know friends who got married off against their will all the damn time. So , I don't really want to hide that part of my origin in my writings.
Very recently someone sent me an ask about both Leah in Perfect imperfections and Jisoo in Amor Vincit Omnia and it just dripped with condescension about how they hated those characters because of how weak they were and how they should have some pride and just walk out and raise their kids by themselves and i thought about it ....
Its never that fucking easy, man.
You grew up in a culture where divorce is common.
We grew up in a culture where divorce is synonymous with failure, pride, ego, going against your filial duties and a bunch of other things that you can't even begin to understand.
I'm not saying that women should be portrayed as weak an accepting of abuse...
I'm saying that there are women who get conditioned to believe that abuse is just a natural consequence of their own shortcomings and they don't even consider walking out of the abusive setting...its just how it is....
And I won't ever apologize for writing characters like that.....