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MY BOY WHY

"You see the good in all monsters... huh?" [TW: Cartoon-ish blood]

The Merto

2D || Murdoc

When I woke up this morning Ao3 was down. I waited for hours, refreshing my page and checking their status while I tried to find something else that could capture my attention as readily as Ao3 does. The moment it began to work again I started downloading some of the completed works from my bookmarks. During the time that the site was on again and off again I managed to download 51 fanfics, I counted. And while I was waiting to see if it would load so I could download 1 more I decided to add up the pages. I had time and little to occupy it with. Over 12,500 pages of pdf saved fanfics. And yet it still doesn’t feel like enough. I sit here, still thinking of several more. I can recall titles and plots and whole separate fandoms of works that I did not reach in time. I feel like a librarian watching Alexandria burn, bringing with me what I could reach. I can taste the words on the smoke that fills the air, my fingers are stained with ink and soot. I downloaded what I could in the hopes that I may feel secure, to appease my memory because I feared I’d lose the very thing that brought me joy. Over 12 thousand pages, and I can only feel dread.