This Is So Weird - Tumblr Posts
Idea for a Challenge Yourself Challenge
Before you go to bed, try writing any ideas you have while your Half Awake and the next day read what you wrote, your thoughts just MIGHT surprise you (I did this once and I was SO confuddled with what the hell I typed) try to do this for a week and record what you wrote (You just might have a good story to share if it’s bizarre enough)
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter One: The Ultimate Man's Competition
@chibibreeby
It was another day at Hope's Peak. Well, afternoon, really. While other students were participating in club activities or hanging out with friends, Kiyotaka Ishimaru was watching over several students in detention. Some students, like Makoto Naegi, were only in for thirty minutes due to minor offenses, while others had an hour or so. By the time Teruteru had finished dinner, Kiyotaka was still on the detention room, watching over the two remaining students, Mondo and Leon.
Mondo groaned; he hadn't done anything detention worthy that day, or even that week. In fact, he was going to prove to the hall monitor that he could stay out of trouble, however, that backfired when he found out that he had piled up on enough minor offenses to keep him in detention for three hours.
Leon, on the other hand, was actually trying to stack up his detentions and serve them all in one day. Like Mondo, there were an abundance of minor offenses, added on to that one time he threw Yasuhiro's crystal ball down the hallway and had accidentally hit Headmaster Kirigiri. In all honesty, he didn't mind the detention as much when it was just him, Mondo, and Kiyotaka. Actually, that gave him an idea.
"Hey, Kiyotaka, come over here!", the all-star called out, catching the attention of both the prefect and the biker. "Why? This is not one of your foolish 'pranks', is it?", Kiyotaka questioned. Leon shook his head, "No, no, not at all, just come over.". Sighing, Kiyotaka made his way over to Leon's desk. "Now then, what is the reason you called me over?", the moral compass asked, crossing his arms and staring down at Leon.
"Well, I think it's safe to say that the three of us are pretty manly, huh?", Leon inquired, all too calm. "Fuck, yeah. What's that got ta do wit' anything?", Mondo wondered, whilst making his way to Leon and Kiyotaka. " We're all manly by our standards, but who's truly the manliest out of us?".
Kiyotaka laughed boisterously. "Is that a rhetorical question? It is obvious that I am the manliest of us three, after all, at this moment I am in charge of you, not only showing my authority, but dominance as well!". Mondo rolled his eyes, "Don't credit yerself like that. Yeah, you're in charge, for th' next twenty minutes, but I'm runnin' an entire biker gang! If anyone here's manly, it's me.". Leon smirked, "See? It would be pointless to argue that I'm manlier, because you two have proven my point. Therefore, in order to settle this...dispute, I think a competition is in order.".
"Competition? Please elaborate!", Kiyotaka replied. "With every man's competition, it's the same; who can lift that, who's able to eat this, normal men's things.". "What are ya plannin', Leon?", Mondo asked, a bit nervous. Leon stood up and made his way to the front of the room. "I'm planning a competiton that only a real man would have the audacity to compete in! One that tests a man physically, mentally, and emotionally.". Leon grabbed a piece of chalk and began writing on the board. "Introducing, the Ultimate Man's Competition!".
Mondo and Kiyotaka stared at each other, then at Leon. "Allow me to explain. Each participant must, one, be a male, and two, be a student here. The task?". Leon paused to finish drawing what looked like a four-year-old's portrait of Hifumi. "Make this guy fall in love with you!". The prefect and the gang leader cringed. "Uh, Leon, I think I speak fer both Taka an' I when I say, the fuck are ya thinkin?".
Leon chuckled, "Not up to the challenge? I guess that means I wi-". "No ya don't! I jus', uh, wanted ta know th' rules.", Mondo interrupted. "Alright. Any male is allowed to compete, except Chihiro, since he does this on a daily basis, and of course, Hifumi for obvious reasons . Each male is required to have one wingwoman, and once one is claimed, she can't work for anyone else. As for the task itself, you won't be going out with Hifumi yourself, rather you'd go as your female self".
Kiyotaka shifted his eyes. "Are you proposing we do drag?". Leon scratched his goatee. "One reason we've got a wingwoman. Any other questions?". "Does Hiro count as a wingwoman?", Mondo inquired. Leon thought for a moment. "Sure, why not. By the way, your lady self should have her own name, first and last, and the absolute, number one rule, is don't let Hifumi know. Got it?". Kiyotaka and Mondo gave a nod of confirmation.
"Alrighty then, gentlemen. Let the competition begin!".
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Two: Momo Oyama
@chibibreeby
Man's Competition? Fine. Dress like a woman? Perfectly okay. Make Hifumi Yamada, a boy obsessed with his 2D girls and Pretty Pudgy Princess, whoever that was, fall in love with him? EASY. Mondo Oowada laughed aloud as he head back to his dorm. Forget Kiyotaka and Leon, this entire competition was going to him, no doubt. After all, he was the MANLIEST, no matter how many layers of makeup he had on or how short a skirt he wore.
First things first, he needed a wingwoman. There was only one person he thought was best for the job, and that person, without a doubt, was Chihiro Fujisaki. Sure, having an actual wingwoman may be more favorable, but Chihiro had been crossdressing since he could dress, and selling the feminisim with his MANLY body was a job only a crossdressing, drag, whatever expert could manage. Without wasting any time, he texted Chihiro to meet him in his room.
"Hello, Mondo! What's up? Usually when we meet up, it's in a public place.", Chihiro said as he practically intruded Mondo's room (but what could he do about it? He did leave the door unlocked.). "Well, uh...this may sound weird an' shit but," Mondo took in a deep breath, " I need ya ta work yer girly magic an' make me a lady!". "The fuck?", Chihiro questioned, understandibly. "I said...I need ya ta make me a woman.". Chihiro stared at Mondo uncomfortably. "You mean drag?". Mondo scratched his head. "Yeah, that.".
Chihiro relaxed. "Thank god. What made you intetested in doing drag, Mondo?". Oh, boy. This was the ball-kicker (and not the soccer/fútbol kicker). "Well, 'm doin' a challenge Leon made. Th' Ultimate Man's Competition. We're required ta have a wingwoman an' uh...make Hifumi fall in love wit' us...". Chihiro burst out laughing. "Let me guess, I was omitted from the contest?". Mondo groaned, " Yeah, cause ya dress like a girl every day!". Chihiro snickered, "Wouldn't that...never mind. So, what does Lady Mondo need?".
Mondo thought for a moment. "Well, she can't be Lady Mondo. She's gotta have 'er own name.". Chihiro scratched his chin. "It'd need to be sweet and endearing, but also kinda tough...I think I've got it!" "First and last?". "Oh...man, Leon's really trying to not get you guys caught. I'll come up with a name later. Right now, we need to work on a wardrobe. One of the defining things that make your MANLINESS feminine is what you wear, so....you know what that means!". Mondo groaned, "Shopping?". Chihiro nodded, afterwards saying, "If you're going to win this stupid thing, you better get used to shopping.".
Chauffered by Taichi Fujisaki, Chihiro and Mondo had gone to Towa Mall, a large complex of stores, restaurants, and shops, each one being of a popular brand. "Is there any reason in particular why you two wanted to go to the-", Taichi asked cheerfully, before Chihiro replied, "Nope! No reason at all! Just two friends hanging out! Okay? Okay! Bye, dad!", whilst ushering Mondo out of the car.
Once inside the mall, Chihiro began pitching his plan. "Contrary to popular belief, seeing isn't beliving; feeling is. That's why, during this shopping trip, we're covering every single possible area! If you feel the lady, you'll be the lady.". Mondo stuck his hands in his pockets. "I get what yer sayin'. So, where're we goin' first?". Chihiro smiled mischeviously.
"Since Lady Mondo's...proportions, are larger than others, I was thinking that maybe we needed to stop by...Victoria's Secret?". Mondo stopped dead in his tracks. " 'm sorry, what?". "I'm going to explain this in the best ways I can...," Chihiro pressed his hands together, then pointed said hands at Mondo, "Lady Mondo's going to need help 'supporting the ladies'. Holding her 'boulders'. Staying up there and not down there. Covering her 'Akane's'. Her 'training days' are over.". Mondo stared at Chihiro, confused , before the programmer blatantly stated, "Lady Mondo's got huge boobs.".
Mondo covered his face as he blushed. "Are we really goin' there?". Chihiro smiled, "Yes, we are going there, unless, of course, you're admitting defeat.". Mondo removed his hands from his face. "Yay! I wonder if they'll have nice...undergarments, too!".
Post returning to Hope's Peak from the mall, (with Mondo's lady items hidden within mediocre shopping bags), the two dumped out all of the items onto Mondo's bed. "Let's see...studded leather jackets, cute tank tops, shoes, shoes, and more shoes, ooh, jeans from Old Navy, nice, also, cute skirts, nice bras, pretty panties, quality makeup, jewelry, wigs that drained the majority of my hacker money, and...Mondo?". The boy in question turned away. "Yeah?". "I thought we decided against the tiger-print thong?", Chihiro questioned as he held up the shameful thing.
"I couldn't look away from it, like it was callin' ta me or somethin'.", Mondo admitted. Chihiro rolled his eyes, while setting down the piece of revealing clothing. "By the way, I came up with a name for Lady Mondo! How does 'Momo Oyama' sound?". "Sound's fuckin perfect! It's girly an' shit, but like, tough girly, ya know?", Mondo said. "Plus, it'd be cute if Hifumi nicknamed you his little peach!", Chihiro giggled. The biker shrugged, "Ey that's only workin' in my favor. I better text Leon an' Taka.". Chihiro watched as Mondo sent out a message to the other two. "What does it say?", Chihiro inquired.
"That Momo's gonna beat their asses.".
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Three: Kimiko Imamura
@chibibreeby
As soon as he left the detention room, Kiyotaka began thinking about his plan of attack. The problem? He never really hung out with Hifumi: in fact, their only interactions were in class and ocassionally, detention. As a result of this, he'd need a wingwoman that knew Hifumi well, knew what he liked, knew what he was into, knew what...oh no. Kiyotaka internally reprimanded himself. It was obvious; his wingwoman had to be Celetsia Ludenberg, Queen of Lies.
As soon as he saw Chihiro enter Mondo's room, he knew he had to make a move. Gathering his confidence (and losing his sanity), he made his way to Celestia's dorm. "Celestia? Are you in?", he asked as he knocked on the door. "Who is it this time?", the other complained as she opened the door. "Oh, it's my dear, sweet friend Kiyotaka Ishimaru!", Celestia said in the fakest way possible, before returning to her usual displeasured tone. "Seriously, Kiyotaka, why the hell are you here? I have better things to do!".
"May I please go into your room? I have a proposition that may interest you.", Kiyotaka said, a bit uneasy with the way he worded his sentence. Celestia stared the prefect down, contemplating wether this would be worth her time. "Alright. Get in, speak your peace, then leave. I'm currently watching an anime series Hifumi recommended that isn't awful.". Kiyotaka rolled his eyes, "This anime wouldn't happen to have vampires in it, would it?". The gambler then stuck her metal-clad finger out to the moral compass. "You're treading on thin ice, Kiyotaka!".
Deciding against the argument, Kiyotaka made his way inside Celestia's room. "Actually, this proposition concerns Hifumi. You see...Leon had made this competition, and the Ultimate goal is to get Hifumi to fall in love. Each of us had to have a wingwoman, and we also must be in convincing drag.". Celestia perked up. "A competition, you say? As in, a competition I can bet on? And you are my own little bet? This may be more fun than I thought.". Kiyotaka smiled, "I am glad you're on board!".
Celestia waved her hand dismissively. "It's only for my own personal pleasure of having you as my 'Barbie doll', not anything else. Now then, you need to do this in drag, hmm?". The prefect nodded in confirmation. Celestia twirled her hair drills. "I'm not saying image is everything, but when dealing with Hifumi, you've got to appeal to him in the only way you can. You can have your own personality, that's not an issue. You...hmm...Kimiko...needs to look like an anime girl.".
Kiyotaka was admittedly confused. "Fun fact that you should take to your grave; when I was younger, I had an imaginary friend I named Kimiko Imamura. I never thought I'd actually create her, much less have you portray her, but that's besides the point. I'm going to be honest, I don't know anything about anime, and I'm assuming Hifumi can't know anything, yes?". "Unfortunately.".
Celestia thought for a moment. "That's fine. We can manage. You're not losing this. Let's just work with what we've got. If we go on with a skirt, it's gotta be a pencil skirt, or I guess one of those school girl uniforms that are unrealistically short. Anime girls wear that, I think. As for up top," Celestia gestured to Kiyotaka's chest, "We can go large, but not ridiculous. I'm thinking a 34 C. What about you?". Kiyotaka scratched his chin, "Whatever you think is fine, after all, you are the wingwoman.".
Celestia chuckled darkly. "Don't give me too much freedom with this". Kiyotaka and Celestia then heard the sound of shopping bags and running feet in the hall, and after a quick glance out of the open door, the two saw Chihiro and Mondo hauling an abundance of bags down the hall. "Oh, believe me, be as free with this as you like.", Kiyotaka reassured. "We're talking makeup? Nails? Mani-pedis? Massages? Starbucks?". "Everything".
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Four: Leiko Kuba
@chibibreeby
"Oh, Sayaka~! Where are you?", Leon called down the halls. This was his creation, after all, and he knew that this competition would spread through the school like a germ, but as of now, he was against Kiyotaka and Mondo, who were totally worthy adversaries. After all, Kiyotaka was already curvy (not that Leon was looking or anything) and Mondo would obviously have a sizeable bust (not that he was looking at that either), so he needed a secret weapon of he was going to have a chance.
"Sayaka~!". The pop idol groaned aloud, before telling Ibuki, Aoi, and Sakura that she needed to leave from their meal. Annoyed, she looked through the halls for the all-star, catching him before he entered the elevator. "Leon, what the heck? I was enjoying a nice meal with my friends . Is there any logical reason you're shouting my name down the hall?!". The fakeginger smirked. "Sayaka! I know you're still mad about that one time I broke your nose-". "By the way, the trial's in two weeks.". "-during athletics, but let's put that behind us for now!".
Sayaka rolled her eyes and pointed to her bandaged nose. "Ask someone else to help you with your sorry life.". "Okay, okay, you seem a little hostile, that's fine. But would you be willing to help a friend of mine? She really needs it!", Leon pleaded. The blue-haired girl sighed out of frustration, "Fine. Who is she, and what does she need help with?". Leon put his arm around Sayaka's shoulder. "So this chick's name is Leiko Kuba. She's having relationship problems. There's a guy she likes but she's not sure how to steal his heart.". Sayaka tapped her chin. "A common problem. When can I meet her?". Leon then pointed at himself. "You already know her!".
"Wait, what?", the idol questioned. "I've created this competition, the Ultimate Man's Competition. The task is simple, get Hifumi Yamada to fall in love with their female alter ego.", the baseball player explained. "And you want my help?", Sayaka asked rhetorically. "So, by agreeing, I'm allowed to do whatever to you make you Leiko Kuba, but also help out Leiko as if she was a bestie. All for the purpose of showing how MANLY you are? Leon, that's the best thing you thought of?".
Before Leon could reply, Sayaka continued, "This is better than any money I could have sued you for! Oh, you don't know how close Leiko and I will be! Spa treatments, sleepovers, brunch, oh, we'll do everything! This is what I call 'helpful revenge'. I'll help Leiko win Hifumi, all the while getting revenge for you breaking my nose!". Leon scratched the back of his head, "I'm fine with that. I mean, you're only the second broken nose this year.". "Oh yeah. How much detention did you get for Headmaster Kirigiri's nose, by the way?".
"Just enough to think of this.". Sayaka shook her head, "Whatever! I'll call my agent and tell him to scrap the court date. You and I, or rather, Leiko and I, are going to be the BEST BESTIES!".
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Five: Operation: Land A Date!
@chibibreeby
The next day, after class, the boys and wingwomen met in the detention room (once Kiyotaka was done with his detention, of course). Leon then wrote on the chalkboard "Land A Date With Hifumi". "Now competitors and wingwomen, here is where competition gets interesting, to say the least. Of course, it's where we try to score a date with everyone's favorite weirdo.".
Kiyotaka raised his hand. "Yes?". "Can we get into the rules?". Leon rolled his eyes. "Fine. You and your wingwoman need to stay together, or at least in the same area. Also, you gotta have your lady gear on. You can do anything to convince Hifumi to date you.". The prefect nodded. "Now, uh, I watched a few videos on drag, and I still need help actually putting it on.", Leon admitted, "So this is the only exception to the 'No Helping' rule..".
Mondo, sorry, Momo felt a little uncomfortable, but that was because she was way too comfortable in those clothes. Currently, "she" was wearing a normal white tank top, a black leather studded jacket, a black miniskirt with a gold chain, a (thankfully) white bra over his, uh, her (admittedly real) bust, a big, frizzy wig that matched his own hair color, heavy makeup, black stilettos, and the tiger-print thong that Chihiro hated so much.
While it was an ugly process ( cinching his waist, waxing his legs, not to mention having to tuck a certain something you probably about know into a place he never thought it could go in order to achieve a feminine outline rather than a MANLY bulge, hint hint), the outcome was actually incredible, and "she" was pretty amazed with Chihiro's work. Now to see if it worked...
"I don't understand, Momo, wouldn't it be easier to test your lady charm on Hifumi rather than the Crazy Daimonds?", Chihiro questioned. "Yeah, but doing the gang will help me see if I'm unrecognizeable.", Momo responded. That was another thing that had changed. Since Mondo's voice was pretty deep at normal volume, Momo's voice had to be significantly quieter. While "her" voice was still deep, the falsetto added in made it more feminine and pleasing to hear.
Chihiro shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say. It's your logic.". After a minute or two scouring the streets, Mondo Momo found his her gang hanging around an alley. "There they are. What was that thing you told me?", Momo asked. Chihiro demonstrated every move. "When you get over there, flip your hair, blink three times, look over your shoulder, and put your hand on your hip". "Ya sure that works?", Momo asked nervously. "It has for me!", Chihiro chirped.
Momo went over the steps in "her" head, then walked over within earshot of hi- her gang. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Flip, blink, blink, blink, look, and hip. Simple. Until s/he actually did the combo. Flip, blink, blink, bl- ow! Eyelash! Rub it out! Pay attention to where you're walking! Is that a manhole cover? Don't tri- whoa! Smack!
Momo could feel Chihiro's facepalm from on the asphalt. "Ey, lady, you okay?", s/he heard someone say in a rough voice. Slowly, Momo looked up to see who it was, and thanked everything that it was a Diamond, though that eyelash was still in h/er eye, so it made it difficult to tell who it was exactly. "Uh, yeah...who are you?". " Name's Shoji,", he said as helped up Momo, taking a moment to examine "her" body, "and you must be an angel, huh?".
"Actually, I'm Momo...". Shoji nodded, "Believe me, I saw your 'peach'.". Hurriedly, Momo flipped "her" skirt down. "I don't ever remember seein' you around. Ya must be new?". Momo nodded. Man, this was easy- ah, stupid eyelash! "I can take care o' that.", Shoji said, removing the annoying eyelash from Momo's eye. "Gah!". Shoji smirked, "Yer all flustered. Cute. Lemme indroduce ya to th' gang. It's not mine, but 'm sure boss won't mind.".
Confidently placing his arm around Momo's waist, Shoji brought "her" over to the rest of the Daimonds. Almost simultaneously, the alley filled with the sound of whistles and cat-calls (and Takemichi made his way to the back). "Well, well, look what Shoji found.", a Daimond with a particularly riduculous pompadour commented, making Momo feel a little uncomfortable.
"This is Momo uh...". "Oyama". "Momo Oyama. She's new.". "And gorgeous! Where you from?", a shorter biker asked. "Oh, I'm from...". "Is that really important? I'd like ta know if she's free tonight.", a paler Daimond purred, winking at the "lady". "Hey, I saw her first, Kazuki!", Shoji growled, afterward, all the Crazy Daimonds (minus Takemichi) swarming over the "girl".
"You know what? My friend's waiting for me, I gotta go!", Momo informed, before escaping the swarm and taking off toward Chihiro. " Run, Hiro!". "How'd it go?", Chihiro asked as he ran beside Momo. "I'm a better lady than I thought!", s/he replied in Mondo's natural voice.
Kimiko felt espesially brave. Celestia was the closest to Hifumi after all, so everything was in "her" favor. Of course, if everything was in "her" favor, why was Celestia taking her to a nightclub? "Celestia," Kimiko said in the uncomfortably high French accent Celestia begged her to use, "I think I should ask Hifumi out now. Could we please return to Hope's Peak?". Celestia rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding? You need to have fun like this. It'll sharpen your skills.".
"Sharpen my skills?". "As a woman. After all, you want to win this, don't you? Besides, you're getting looks.". Kimiko then scoured the area with her eyes, almost tripping over "her" thigh-high black heeled boots. S/he then dusted "her"self off, while taking a moment to straighten the ridiculous Sailor Moon-like black pigtails on "her" head and remove the creases from "her" red button-down blouse and white pencil skirt.
Once done with "her" maintenance, s/he continued the conversation. "Even if I wanted to go to a nightclub, I am positive we would not be granted admission!". Celestia then winked mischeviously, letting Kimiko know she had something up her sleeve. At the nightclub (a block or two away from Hope's Peak), Celestia grabbed Kimiko by the wrist and drug "her" to the front. The bouncer looked at the two, exchanging glances between Celestia and Kimiko. "Got I.D.?".
"Why wouldn't we?", the gambler replied, producing two realistic fake I.D.'s. "Alright. Have fun.". Kimiko's eyes widened, and Celestia had to snatch back the I.D. cards and drag "her" inside before she could say anything. "Celestia! That is illegal!", Kimiko shouted over the booming music. "Who's Celestia? As of right now, I'm Taeko Yasuhiro, and you are to have fun.", the other replied as she removed the two drills from her hair. "Now run along! I'll be over here.".
Kimiko pouted. This was definately not the way s/he thought this plan would go; now s/he was illegally in a nightclub with Hifumi nowhere in sight, and the more and more she looked at herself in a reflective surface, the more s/he looked like a little girl attempting to be a teenager (which made sense, being s/he never asked what age Kimiko actually was, and Celestia had made the makeup look way too natural) which made Kimiko all the more uncomfortable.
"Hey. Aren't you a litte too young to be in here?". Great. Perfect even. "Uh, yes, yes, sorry, I'll-". "Oh no, it's fine, I won't tell.". Crisis adve- wait, huh? "I'm Haiji Towa. What's your name?". "Kimiko Imamura.". If "her" looks didn't say little girl, that stupid voice would've by now. "How old are you?". Kimiko looked at the man. He didn't look like the law, and he seemed trustworthy, and besides the Towa family ran the city, right. Even still, "I'd rather not say.". "That's fine, Kimiko. Hey, why don't you stick with me for a while?", Haiji asked. Kimiko smiled, then nodded politely. Maybe this wasn't so bad.
Leiko sighed. What the heck were those other two and their wingwomen doing outside of the school anyway? The job was easy, and yet they found a way to make it more complicated. Classic Mondo and Kiyotaka, or Momo and Kimiko in this case. Sayaka stood near the dining area door, giving Leiko the okay s/he'd been waiting for.
This was it. This was hard work, layers of makeup to hide that goatee, a miniskirt, fishnets, Converse sneakers, a Paramore t-shirt, ponytails, and studded bracelets about to leave their mark on a certain doujinshi author. With the sway of "her" hips and the click of "her" tongue piercing, s/he strutted her way over to Hifumi, who was currently engrossed in a bento box.
"Hey. I'm Leiko. Let's say, you and me, Music Fest this Friday in Serenity Park?", the "girl" whispered into Hifumi's ear. "Gah!! Ahh...". Leiko took pride in Hifumi's blush. "Well, I don't know all that much about music...or you...how'd you get in here?", the doujin author asked suspisiously. "Oh, Sayaka snuck me in. We're like, best friends. While I was leaving, I couldn't help but notice you over here by yourself. So, what do you say?".
Hifumi thought for a moment while stuffing a pork bun into his mouth. "I suppose I could...at what time?". Leiko tapped "her" chin. "Oh, around five or six in the afternoon.". Hifumi nodded, "I'll be there! Now, please leave before you're caught.". Leiko winked and blew a kiss before leaving the room. "All too easy.".
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Six: Leiko's Date (and other miscellaneous happenings)
@chibibreeby
'RULES OF DATING' is what Leon wrote on the chalkboard the next day. "Why do we gotta know this? You got th' date, so ya win.", Mondo complained. "That's the way things seem, isn't it? But remember, the goal is to get him to say those three magic words; I love you.", Leon remended him. "Now we all know that being attractive to other men is a difficult task-". "Acutally, I have managed to catch someone's eye!", Kiyotaka bragged. "Oh yeah, and my gang's been lookin' up my skirt.", Mondo said, just as confident.
Leon rolled his eyes, "That's because you wasted time wherever! I got to work! Asserted myself! Though Hifumi was uncomfortable...but whatever! Anyway, the RULES OF DATING. This can be a little incentive since ya know, we can't all date Hifumi at one given time. For every guy you can get to date you is ten points, for every guy you can get to say those three words is twenty points, for every guy you get to kiss you is thirty points, and requests for any other physical contact is forty points and up.".
Kiyotaka thought a moment. "So you're saying that...we should build up a relationship, then completely destroy it?". "Yeah! Besides, it's not like they'll want you without the makeup, wigs, and lingere.", Leon pointed out. "And what if they do?", Kiyotaka contradicted. Leon rolled his eyes, "We'll get to that later! Where the hell are the wingwomen? I've got a date in two hours!". As soon as Leon was finished, the three wingwomen burst through the door with outfits, makeup, and some Starbucks. "Looking for us?".
Chihiro sat on Mondo Momo's living room couch (the one in "her" and "her" brother's apartment.). Luckily, Daiya was at work, so he wasn't going to catch a glimpse of his 'sister'. "Momo, what are you doing?", the programmer asked after a while. "Trying to style this huge fuckin' wig into a pompodour!" , 'she' answered, clearly struggling. "Do you need help? I can-". Click! Uh oh. Momo stopped in 'her' tracks. The click of the door was all too familiar, and since only two people had keys...
"Ey, Hiro! Ain't seen you here in a while!", Daiya greeted. "Yeah...heh...don't you have work?", Chihiro inquired stiffly. Daiya smirked, "My shift ends early on Fridays. Say...if yer in here, then Mondo ain't too far away!". He was right; Mondo, er, Momo was in the bathroom trying his, ugh, her hardest not to scream in agony. "Oh...I see. Yer playin' hide 'n seek! I guess we gotta find 'im, huh.". Anxious, Chihiro replied, "Sure! Nothing like apartment hide and seek...".
Meanwhile in the bathroom, Momo held the doorknob tightly, as there was no lock. What was he she going to do?! Act like a complete stranger and risk having his her brother fall for 'her', or tell the truth and suffer whatever embarrassing punishment Daiya could think of (and God, could he think of some good embarrassment). It was a good thing he she decided to wear that really pretty long sleeved purple knee-length dress with the gold sequin highlights and those black stockings; at least no flashing would happen.
"Aha! There ya are Mondo!". "Wait Daiya, don't you want to check the hall closet again?". This was it, in a few seconds, the door would fly open, and Daiya would flip out over what was residing inside (e.i. Momo, not Mondo). "Haha! I fou- oh my motorcycle.". Daiya was understandibly shocked...for like, a second. "Mondo! Little bro! Or little sis, I guess. Does it matter? Whatever. Look how beautiful you are! I was beginnin' ta think you'd be ugly yer whole life.". Momo chuckled in 'her' natural voice. "Funny, Daiya. Go ahead, crack yer jokes, I ain't carin'." .
The elder brother shook his head. "Ya really think I'm lettin' this happen without a story? C'mon, there's a reason ya look like that, why don't tell me?". Against his, um, her better judgement, he revealed everything, from the Ultimate Man's Competition, to that one encounter with Shoji Yoko, which Daiya found particularly hilarious, to the fact that he uh she was preparing to ask Shoji on a date. "Aw, lil' sis Momo...don't ya know, if yer gonna date one of those bad bikers, they're gonna have to get through big sister!". "Yeah, I kno- wait WHAT?!".
Leiko toyed with "her" phone. Where was Hifumi? Did s/he throw him off by saying Friday instead of tomorrow? Did he not know where s/he was? Could Hifumi have possibly...no, nope, nada, no way, no how did Hifumi Yamada, round, doujin author with a taste for potato chips stand hi..her up on this. Come on, it was Serenity Park, filled with upcoming musical artists, cool merchendice, actual people that can actually talk to you face to face and not through a screen. What was there not to like? Sayaka came running towards Leiko excitedly, derailing "her" train of thought.
"Eee! Leiko, I've been having the greatest time! A whole squad of Sayakers came towards me, just begging for autographs, photos, ohh......you should have been there! ". Leiko shrugged, "Fun. Here's the thing. I...haven't been having fun. You know why? A certain someone has not appeared yet, and the Music Feastival ends in an hour! We've been here since five, Sayaka! Five! Now it's almost seven!". The blue haired idol nodded in understanding of Leiko's dilemma. "I totally understand. I've been on dates where guys and girls didn't show up at all. Are you sure you haven't seen him?".
Leiko shook "her" head. "You know what," Sayaka stated, "I have his phone number! I'll just call and ask what he's up to.". Sayaka walked over to the park's enterance, away from all of the partying and music, then whipped out her smartphone and speed-dialed Hifumi. "Yes? Who has called me on my cellular device?", the squeaky voice chimed in on the other end. "It's Sayaka Maizono, your friend! Now, I just wanted to ask-". "I stood her up.". "-about I'm sorry what the hell?". "I. Stood. Her. Up.", Hifumi repeated, afterward bursting into a fit of giggles. "Hehehehe! I feel so bad! I mean, good bad. Like I'm a delenquent in a dramatic school anime that gets the ladies! I can't belive I actually shot down a date. With a hot girl!!".
Sayaka blinked, then reviewed what the ever loving duck, yes, duck, was going on? Hifumi stood Leiko up...on purpose?! "Miss Sayaka Maizono? Are you-". Honestly, the idol was confused. The "girl" was hot...so you stood her up instead of taking the date just so you'd seem cool?! What logic was that?!
Remind Me Why We're Trying to Get Hifumi to Love Us, Again? (a crackfic that's going too far)
Chapter Seven: Big Sis Diana's Rules For Dating
@chibibreeby
Momo couldn't believe this was happening. Never in a million years would she think that her brother sister would actually join in his her activities, yet here she was helping him, uh, her into a corset. Dai..ana...didn't have any clothes of "her" own, so Momo had to share, which would've worked better if Daiana hadn't chosen the tightest-fitting clothes Momo had (and no, there was no way s/he was sharing the tiger print thong, no matter how much Daiana begged).
Now here Momo, Chihiro and Daiana were, about to intrude on the Crazy Diamonds (well, not really intrude, but technically, yeah), and personally, the first drag sister and her wing"woman" hoped that Daiana wouldn't do anything devious, or in their case, humiliating. Cue Daiana clinging onto 'her sister' like a teddy bear and cooing into Momo's ear things like, "Did you wear a nice bra? Are your nails done? Do you have your makeup bag with you in case I see someone I like?".
Once the trio had come across the gang in the alleyway, the older 'sister' thought that the best way to catch the attention of the bikers was to forcefully push Momo out front, knowing that he she was wearing quite a tall pair of heels, and was very prone to falling. Luckily(?), Shoji was there to catch 'her' before he she fell.
"Well, well, if it isn't my lil' angel again.", Shoji greeted, pulling back Momo's hair right before Daiana swept in and knocked Momo to the ground and offered 'her' hand for Shoji to shake. "My, my, I don't think we met yet! I'm Daiana, Momo's older sister!". When Momo attempted to get up, Daiana placed her heel firmly on Momo's back, leaving the younger sibling to squirm, and Chihiro to cringe. "Shake my hand if you know what's good for you".
Nervously, Shoji delicately shook Daiana's handl "Good, good! It's nice meeting my little sister's male friends!", Daiana clamored, kicking Momo's butt before finally allowing 'her' up. "Uh, yeah. Nice ta meet ya, too, Daiana.". Giggling obnoxiously, Daiana replied, "What a sweetheart! You can call me Didi!". Once Momo brushed off the asphalt on 'her' clothes, Daiana, er, Didi clung on to her arm. "Nice boys. I wouldn't be suprised if they wanted to date you, little peach!".
One by one, the Diamonds surrounded Momo, only to be warded off by a hiss from Didi. "Just like I thought. Absolute pigs, all of them. Why, oh why do you have to fall for these bad boys, Momo?". Lovingly, 'she' yanked Momo's hair, causing the 'sister' to shriek. "Oh well. Look's like big sis Daiana will have to step in! After all, it seems like all of you want a bite of this juicy fruit, hmm?". Enthusiastic cheers rose from the crowd, causing Momo to blush. "Hehe! Looks like I'll have to go over Big Sis Daiana's Rules For Dating!".
Daiana then grabbed Daiana's shoulders and had her back(?) facing the gang. "Rule number one;", Daiana paused to lift Momo's skirt and flash the Crazy Daimonds with 'her sister's' trademark tiger-print thong, earning a ton of whistles and a distressed, "DAIANA!". "...Keep your filthy eyes off of my baby sister's ass, ya perverts! Your eyes should be admiring her beauty, not her booty.". After letting go of Momo's skirt, Didi brought 'her sister' in for a hug. "Rule number two; love my lil sis right. Hug her, kiss her, get her flowers, cotton candy, a maltese puppy, stuff she likes!".
"Rule number three, keep your eyes off of other girls.". Daiana paused to push up 'her' bra and stick out his...her tongue, earning a few catcalls herself. "Rule number four, keep all those violent gangsters away from my sweet little sister! Normally, this rule would apply to you, but I like your gang.". Both Momo and Chihiro rolled their eyes. "Finally, rule five...IF YOU HURT MOMO IN ANY WAY, I WILL HAVE YOU TIED TO THE BACK OF A MOTORCYCLE AND DRUG FROM HERE TO FUJI, GOT IT?!" . Shaking, the gangsters nodded.
"Good! We're going to the Karaoke Bar on Sunday! Be there~".
JJK fairytale fanfic based off the snow queen
Once upon a time, there was a very distant world divided between the demon realm and the human realm. The demon realm was ruled by a cruel king, known as the worst one out of all of his species, with four mouths, four arms and four blood-red eyes, but one day, he was dethroned by his subjects. The other demons fought for the throne, but nobody could reach the power level of the old king, and, in a short time, the war desolated the realm, leaving very few survivors.
One of those who survived was the malevolence demon, which was known as the most intelligent one of their species, even though they was weak. They created a plan to bring back their species' glory, not only over the demon realm, but also over the human realm. To make their plan come true, they filled a bottle with the blood of the dead king. All said that this old demon was so powerful that a drop of his blood would be enough to turn a person's heart into something dark and cruel, merelly a shell of what it once was.
Ages passed by, and one day, in a distant village in the human realm, a child was found on the snow right by side a baby. Shockingly, they were both alive, and were adopted by an old man from the village. The older boy, as he grew up, revealed himself to have a very frail and weak health, while his younger brother was more full of energy and strong than anyone his age. Due to the circunstances in which the two were found, some rumours started spreading through the village saying that they were children of demons, but nobody did anything towards it.
As the younger brother grew up, having a name that meant "benevolence", he was a happy and kind person to everyone around him, but specially to someone. This someone was a girl named as a wild rose, with thorns on her words and hidden flowers on her heart. The benevolent boy was the only one to see her true nature, and that made the two of them become friends, so close that some would say they were inseperable.
Although, one day, something changed. The benevolent boy and the rose girl were walking through the forest when, suddenly, as he spoke, the boy gasped. None of them knew that a drop of blood of the king of demons had just made its way to the boy's throat.
"What happened?" the girl asked, frowning in worrying.
"I am alright" the boy said, unconscious of the terrible change that had just reached his heart. "See, the coughing is over"
Then, as they kept going through the forest, the boy asked if the girl thought it was cruel that her name showed she had thorns in the place of a heart. The girl, angry and upset, ran and let him in the middle of the woods, alone. That night, the young man didn't come back home, and, when they looked for him, they couldn't find him.
On the next morning, the girl, feeling guilty for leaving her friend alone, went to his home to apologize the older brother, however, she gets surprised with what he tells her:
"It is not your fault" says the older brother, looking through the window. "On yesterday's afternoon, I saw a figure flying over the woods and recognized it: that was the demon of malevolence, my parent"
"What?! The rumors where true, then?!"
"Yes. Our parent, the demon of malevolence, discarded us when they thought we were not adequated, but yesterday, they came to get my brother. Neither me or our father can go after them for we have way too weak health, so, I do not know what to do"
"I will" says the younger one, suddenly. "I will go after him and bring back your brother and my best friend"
The rose left home with nothing more than a simple hammer and pure determination to bring back a benevolent heart stained with cruelty.
She walked through the forest until she stopped in a close city and heard rumors about a boy that hid in a garden guarded by ten monsters so he would not be found by anyone. Thinking the boy could be her friend, she went to the garden of the darkest shadows of the forest and faced each monster that appeared, determined to find whoever was in the center of that labyrinth.
When she arrived at the center of the garden, the girl was disappointed when she saw it was not the benevolent boy. The boy at the center of the shadow garden, however, was surprised when he saw her and didn't let her go until she explained why she was in there. After hearing her story, the young man, who had isolated himself after his sister's death, the only one that cared about him, decided to leave alongside her to help her in the search. He explained that he didn't have nothing left to lose and that his heart was touched by her decision to save her friend.
And so, the shadow and the rose went after the benevolent heart.
During their journey, they stopped by at a kingdom with a huge celebration. When they asked why, the people said the prince was about to get married. That heir had been loved many years ago, but, after losing the one he loved, he closed his heart, afraid of being hurt again, until the day someone appeared at the court.
That person came from a long lineage of prophets, however they were cursed so that the only one that could understand their words would be their future true love. Just as the person entered, the guards wanted to arrest them, but they were stopped by the prince, for he could understand everything the prophet said.
Once they knew the prince would marry to a prophet, the rose and the shadow decided to go to the wedding to find out where was the disappeared benevolent one. Even though their presences caused shock and horror, the prince listened carefully and decided to attend her wish of consulting his consort. However, when the prophet spoke, the prince announced they could only forsee anything clearly if they were alongside the girl on her journey. When she was about to leave, the heir suddenly decreed the couple would leave the kingdom for a short time after the marriage.
And so, the prophet, the prince, the shadow and the rose went after the benevolent heart.
On their way, they found a young woman that tried to rob them on the road, but was repelled by the rose's hammer. The prince, who had a giantic heart even to bad people, insisted for her to tell them what lead her to that point, and wouldn't let her go until she did it.
That young woman was member of a noble family that was just a facade for a clan of assassins, which were cruel to her ever since she was born. She, now, struggled to find a way to free her twin sister after they kicked her out. After telling her story, the assassin requires the group to tell their's, as she could not imagine why those people were reunited. After hearing the rose's tale, she decides to join the group, as she knew how it was to want to rescue someone you care about.
And so, the assassin, the prophet, the prince, the shadow and the rose went after the benevolent heart.
When the group arrives to the frontier between the human realm and the demon realm, a man makes them stop. When his identity is questioned, he reveals himself as a child of the divine, the one who knows all that happened, happens and will happen. The man says he merely wants to warn them about what comes later.
He takes them to the cave where he lives and tells the tale of the king of demons, the malevolence demon and the blood that turns all good in evil. He tells about how malevolence is cunning and manipulative, and how they once took from him someone he loved.
"Girl, you will enter the land of demons. All that was once hard shall be much harder, and all your weaknesses shall go after you. Any arms or abilities that once worked in your hands will be useless, and, to win and bring that boy back, you will need to use the most dangerous and terrible weapon of all. It is treacherous and can kill you, but is, too, the only way to save your friend. At least, you already have it with you"
However, even though they asked him many times, the man whose eyes saw everything refused to say what was the weapon that could help them. After that, the group left and entered the demon realm.
Once they arrive at the malevolence's palace, the rose goes on while the others decide to stay back and fight the hordes of demons. Once she enters the room her friend was, the first thing she sees are red eyes in a body that is not theirs.
"What are you doing here?" asks the voice she heard a million times, but now decorated with a smile of cruelty and of a hunter. "The one in the border warned you that you would not leave this place alive"
"Who are you, now?"
"Fool and selfish girl, I am the one you have known for such a long time. I just became this way because of your thorn words"
"Stop lying following what they says. I know your heart is not on those words"
"Oh, but it is" says malevolence for the first time. "His heart became as dark and horrible as I wished. He will be what will help me to bring the demons back to this world"
"That man warned me that I would have to fight using a terrible weapon" the girl looks at the hammer which her fingers squeeze tightly. "I know it is not your true will that makes you do this, but I have no other choice than to use my weapon"
She runs towards him, and that makes him run in her direction. As they get closer to each other, the more he is sure to be prepared to any kind of attack. He is sure that, no matter what she pulls, he will be ready. However, he was not ready for what happened.
The girl's hammer creates an enourmous sound when it hits the ground. The boy's blood eyes widen. The space between the two bodies ceases to exist.
"Let me go" he says, a cold, icy and frightened voice, but that only makes her hug him tighter.
"No" she answers, for the first time in her life not caring that her eyes are filled with tears. "I will never let you go, now or in any moment of our lives! Because you are my best friend and we promised we would never leave the other behind!"
The girl's tears make their way to the boy's heart, purifying it from evil and washing away the blood of the king of demons. And, when the young man starts sobbing, his own crying washes away the red colour of his eyes.
"Oh" he whispers, and then holds her, exclaiming: "I am sorry! I am sorry, sorry, forgive me, forgive me!! Please, forgive me!!! I am sorry!!!"
"It... is alright"
"No, it is not! I hurt you and others!"
"It was not you, and now you are back"
It does not take long for the rest of the group to arrive and, together, they can defeat the malevolence. They leave, and that was the tale of how the rose saved the benevolent heart with love.
chat do you ever feel so bored that you'd cling to anyone and call it a crush... I never have a crush on real people my whole life (except for my ex girlfriend) so the idea of having a crush is so entertaining to me??
i found a fic where midoriya is ranpos reincarnation
and now i have the story outline sorta of a bsd x mha.
also there are references to things and things im trying to exlpain to myself to remember later but maybe you wont and im not gonna explain that haha this is kinda influenced but i also dont wanna write fuckin dostoevsky because how the fuck do you take him down that man is probably smarter and more dangerous then afo imo?? i dont want to make the book a thing (LOOK. the manga is still in its 'what the fuck is happening this is chaos' and the stuff thats mentioned is kinda in that part?? okay so the guy with the perfect crime ability, i know thats been adapted to the anime but the manga hasnt ended, they havent figured out the actual solution to the story thats going on so also 'how the fuck am i meant to do that im so uncreative'
ahaha also the mention of a shatter thing is a reference to some other mha fic but haha go look through my bookmarks i dare you, i copied and pasted an excerpt that explained what happened with shatter. its nice. :))))
okay so just because i started a multi-chapter fic that i actually wanted to finish the next thing i know i have so many documents open with multi-chapter stories and im repeating a mistake i made that ended up with a lotta discontinued fics
instead of being kicked out of the dorms because of outing the guy at the police academy for like cheating on his s/o or whatever, he reluctantly continues and becomes a detective. the youngest ever, and the one who has ended up solving the most cold cases ever.
he becomes tsukauchis problem he is also quirkless. he was never told that he had an ability by fukuzawa-dono. but he is insanely smart, even more then nezu
hes taught by the law enforcement there that not everyone knows what he does, so its important to point things out
ranpo doesnt have much skill in protecting himself, but his knowledge lets him predict some things, as a faux foresight. he gets bested by a new organization (The LOV? except they have more power, and recruit Mushiro Fushiguro or whats its name, the guy with the Perfect Crime ability. Ranpo got involved in the investigation against the LOV. Someone is killed as a threat, and right before his eyes all the evidence is gone, and he has that feeling that something is missing. ..Ah. It's threatening him not to go any further. He does.), and tsukauchi gets hurt, therefore the police department is deemed too risky and is moved to the custody of one Aizawa Shouta. (ofc, erasermic, and shinsou is there) He ends up shadowing Aizawa at his job, having already graduated, and technically class a's senpai.
on the meanwhile, the investigation team collaborates with the Armed Detective Agency from Yokohama, noting the existence of an Ability User they had been chasing down, having been able to figure out that the murder of a certain Mystery novel writer had been in close-ish contact with a man with an ability. 'Perfect Crime'.
like lady nagant, the guy fuckin DIES after they find him and have an encounter and ends up regretting it (because of course ranpo figures it out) but not after giving a very ominous message
they go to the summer camp, ranpo as an honorary member, and trusting in his teammates, gets kidnapped instead in place of bakugo.
afo is interested in the self-proclaimed greatest detective, the youngest one in fact. ranpo feels threatened. he wants him. needs those strategic smarts, but knows that Ranpo would never. Instead, he would make it so Ranpo could never help the other side. He shatters him. for once, his intuition fails him. his teammates are too late.
He was scared. (this is what he gets for being reckless all the time. almost suicidal with how much trust he puts in his colleagues to make it in time.)
think of yosano after she exploded the thing and was all depressed and unreacting.
before this, he meets shinsou at aizawa's place. he bluntly questions why shinsou hasnt used his mindreading. shinsou: what?? aizawa: what have i told you about people not understanding some things? stop being so blunt. ranpo: blink blink oh. Hey Shinsou, did you know that logically you should be able to mind read someone while you're brainwashing them- well actually, its more like you're putting them to sleep, but in a state of sleepwalking, y'know? so their mind is still kinda active and registering things that they're seeing in dreams, and you can interact with them that way and their mind would be much easier to see and read because you're kind of.. in their brain? shinsou: … I CAN DO WHAT NOW? aizawa: ..Ranpo.
shinsou reaches out to ranpo. his eyes stay in their shattered shape but he can see after hes free.
ranpo learns to be less hesitant, but is still paranoid.
Are your posts ai generated because they sincerely sound like it
huh???? they absolutely are not wtf
i don’t know how they sound ai generated but still i can tell you they 100000% are written by me and only me
Replacing the last words of Obey Me! cards to "Daddy" (Part 1)
(Disclaimer: This is made just for fun . There will be a part 2 later)

Night Pool Daddy

Soaring Daddy

Mammon Becomes Daddy

Special Daddy

The Ice Daddy

Listen To Daddy

Flea Market Love Daddys

Romance For Daddy

Looking At Daddy

Bright Like A Daddy

Hujambo!!! I'm Layla Juma, the personification of Tanzania, the African nation! Nice to meet you!
//Please excuse my horrible drawing skills-
Should I (attempt) to draw the beautiful mascot of this entire account?/ooc
ok yes fr time to stop spamming vae BUT
HI ERI ! its so nice to meet u !! i hope we can become friends and interact a lot <3
currently in my cloud hell era but just look away i promise im sane 😭😭😭😭
PLEASE NONE OF US ARE SANE😭 we stan sunwoo the question is how to ever be okay :,) bUT YES! friends. absolutely.