To All Of This - Tumblr Posts

Like im not saying fandom homophobia isnt a thing but ppl who act like shippers never go “omg im such a sinner!!!” when referring to m/f smut are wild man

Since there are a lot of valid reasons why people might feel uncomfortable answering questions, especially from strangers on the internet (it's an extremely personal issue, and you don't want to talk about it with strangers or in group settings; the question covers something you don't know or a group you aren't actually a part of; you've been asked the same question a thousand times before and don't like answering it; you're just kind of tired and were looking to do something fun that day instead of answer other people's questions; literally whatever), it might also be helpful to keep a mental backlog of polite ways to turn down questions.

Not everyone wants to be a teacher, not everyone wants to be in a position of teaching people about issues relevant to their personal lives, and no one should be expected to be ready to teach other people at any moment. However, you can shut down questions you aren't able/willing/prepared to answer without being an asshole.

"That's a really common question, with a complicated answer! There's a lot that can be said, but you can find some great beginner resources at [link]!"

"That's a really interesting question - a lot of people have put some good work into answering it at [link 1], [link 2], and [link 3]!"

"I'm probably not the best person to answer that, but if you go to [link] that might help you find what you're looking for!"

"I'm not the best person to answer that. Followers are welcome to reblog if they have an answer!"

"That's pretty outside the purview of this blog/group/class/etc. You might have better luck asking someone else!"

thinking about that time I was at some kind of diversity and inclusion thing that involved discussion in small groups and one straight girl said she really wanted to be a good ally but sometimes there were some things she just didn’t know and was too afraid to ask for fear of accidentally being offensive. and as the only queer person in this 4-5 person group I said well go ahead and ask me, I don’t care if you accidentally use the wrong term right now or whatever, it’s better to talk about it and learn something, I love talking about queerness and I’ll answer the best I can. and she just looked so nervous and in the end wound up refusing to ask for fear of causing offense. and it wasn’t just the group setting, I’ve known straight people to act similarly even when it’s just one on one

and just. you guys. this is what purity culture and the “if you don’t know something you were never a real ally in fact you’re a bigot in fact you’re worse than bigots because you pretended not to be one” attitude does. how can our allies be allies if they’re scared to talk to us? to ask questions, to make mistakes, to learn? can we please bring back the idea of “in good faith”? there’s way more to say here about identity politics and virtue signaling and acting like language is more important than action but I’m too tired for that right now

please feel free to add to the discussion (regardless of if you’re queer or not), I would love to hear about people’s experiences with this and if others feel differently about it

no bc if u expect male idols to be progressive... dudes who spent teenage years living away from parents in moldy dorms with bunch of boys in the same situation, with agency people probably insulting bodyshaming etc them on the daily, most of them didnt plan to go to uni so they didnt pay attention in class. when they debut they have to "earn" fans' affection But also expect their fans to be loyal and spend money on them. money the idols maybe get a 1% cut from. receipe for disaster tbh. this type of situation either breeds major narcissists, incels or.. mentally fragile young adults who have no idea what to do when their groups disband or when they get dropped from debut lineup. there's the whole issue with agencies allegedly pressuring male idols to go 'gay' fanservice bc shippers buy shit .. just how many of those men are actually homophobes lol.

my single desire which has remained consistent through my entire life is "a bed as big as my entire room" and sadly it's just not possible