Tobirama Angst - Tumblr Posts

🥺🥺 here come the emotions oh my

Hello, hope you're doing alright! Just wanted to see if I could request something for Tobirama and Kakashi? Read the most recent headcanons you did for them(loved it ofc). The reader is jaded outside and all but deep inside scared of not being strong enough to either protect themselves or the few people they have left and just trains until they can't anymore. A bit angsty, so I understand if you don't write this. Either way I thank you!❤️❤️

hii! thank you I hope you're doing alright too lovie x i tried to make it angsty but pls accept these hcs x

TOBIRAMA SENJU

Okay so Tobirama wouldn't notice it at first

Partially because he's a busy man. He's either coming up with new jutsus, helping Hashirama out, or spending what little free time he has with you

He trains with you at times, but then is either called away to do something else or something he or you do during training inspires him to create a new jutsu

Let's say that one day you have a nightmare about Tobi's death, and you are not having it. You wake up in the middle of the night, sweating so much that you're peeling the covers off your body and your pajamas are clinging onto your skin

You decide to leave bed and start your day early, going to the training grounds to get right to it

When Tobirama wakes up, the first thing he notices is that you're gone

He stops by the training grounds after getting ready for the day and sees you working hard

You take a momentary break to greet him with a quick kiss and promise to see each other at dinner

After Tobirama is done with his work for the day, he passes by the training grounds and is surprised to see you there

He stops you in the middle of your working and asks if you've been there all day

You lie to him, and just brush him off saying that you took a break and then got bored so you kept training

One day Tobirama heads home for lunch and he sees you out in the middle of the day training, the hot sun beating down on Konoha so much so that there were heat waves in the distance

He approaches you, opening his mouth to tell you that it's dangerous to work out in the middle of a hot day

But then he sees you stop and fall to the ground

Tobirama sprints over to you and picks you up, his own heart pounding from the pure fear that's running through his veins

He sees your eyes softly blinking, the sweat on your body dripping off of you

He grabs his water and lifts it up to your lips, letting you drink it slowly while you pulled yourself together

"How long have you been out here?" He asks, and he can't help his harsh tone

"Since this morning..." you say, your voice coarse

He hates how tired you sound, how tired you look

You move to sit up in his arms, ready to get up to train again but he holds you closer to him

He picks you up, ignoring your protests and takes you to see a medic. He brings you home, and the medic meets you there.

The medic tells him that you were just dehydrated, and that your body was working itself too much

When the medic leaves, he turns to you with an angry face

"Why are you trying to kill yourself?" He practically demands (this man is so dramatic i can't)

"I'm not."

"Then why do you do this to yourself? You're strong enough as-"

"I'm not." You look down at your hands, tears beginning to brim at your eyes

You hate that you've been put in this situation. If you weren't even strong enough to stop him from bringing you to the doctor, who's to say you're going to be strong enough to protect him?

"Y/N." His voice is softer this time. He lets out a big sigh and sits down next to you on your bed.

You're ignoring him, your face is turned away from him. You hated being seen like this and it makes you that much more upset that he was seeing you like this. Married or not, you hated to be seen as weak from anyone

"Y/N, please look at me." You've never heard him speak this gently before, and you can't stop your face from turning

Tobi's lips are pulled into a pout, his eyebrows furrowed in worry

"Why are you overworking yourself like this?"

You don't know if it's because you already felt vulnerable in the moment, or if it was how he was speaking so gently to you or what it was but you push yourself into his chest and break down, telling him (really his chest) all the worries and nightmares that plague your mind about not being able to protect him

He listens to you, and let's you have your moment to cry in his chest

He runs a hand up and down your back, trying to soothe you (it's the most he does because he's not used to this)

After you've had your time to cry and you've hushed down a little, he calls you stupid

You move away from him, mildly offended by his words

"What did you say?"

"You're one of the smartest people I know and yet this was the dumbest thing you could have ever done. It was just stupid. I understand your frustration but you're not going to be able to protect me from everything. Besides, it's my job to worry about my and your wellbeing. I don't want you to train yourself like that again."

He tried being gentle, it's just not in his nature.

"If you'd like, we can train together and I can point out what you miss. But I don't want you working your body like that again. Okay?"

He's not really asking, it's more of a demand

He tries to make you feel better and assure you that everything's going to be okay. For such a cynic, it's hard to believe those words came out of his mouth. But, he says it with such conviction that you believe him.

"Besides, it took a lot for me to carry you from the grounds to our home. Just don't do it again."

It really didn't, he just won't admit how much it scared him to see you pass out like that.

KAKASHI HATAKE

So Kakashi will also notice how much you're training, but unlike Tobirama, he will actually say something

Maybe he sees you training one day and decides to read by you, too tired from being with his own team to join you

He get's lost reading his book and it's when he reaches the end of it does he realize that you're still going at it

His stomach grumbles and he get's up from his place, calling out to you to go get some food with him

He's surprised when you reject him, telling him something along the lines of making up for the missed days of training

Those "missed days" were you going on a mission.

Kakashi furrows his brows, confused as to why you're working yourself like this

"Did something happen?" he asks. He remembers when he lost his own teammates, that he didn't stop overworking and training himself to be better. Everyone from your recent mission came back safely, so he can't really put a finger as to why you're working so hard right now

"No. Just not hungry." You call out over your shoulder

He drops it this time, and goes to get some food. He brings you back some, and his shoulders drop when he sees you in the same place as before

You stop when you smell the food he brings and go to enjoy a nice break with Kakashi

He expects you to walk home with him when you're done eating but when you turn to go back to training, he frowns under his mask

"No, I'll be home soon. I just want to perfect this technique." You wave goodbye to him

He reluctantly goes home, and when an hour passes he gets up to go look for you, ready to carry you straight home

He opens the door and stop when he sees you there. He notices the new bandages wrapped around your hands and legs and he questions them

"It's nothing. To help with my taijutsu," you comment, going straight up to shower

He knows how stubborn you can be, so he was half expecting an answer like that

The next morning, you wake up early to go train and you're surprised to see Kakashi pulling on his vest already.

"Going somewhere?" He asks, hand on his hip and a smirk on his face

For the last few days you've been waking up earlier than him to go train (to have as much time as you could) so seeing him up this early with you was kind of a surprise, especially considering that he liked to sleep in or at least stay in bed cuddled with you reading his book

"I'm going to go train." You say, going to your shared closet to change

When you come out, he's still there

"Good. I was thinking I could give you the bell test today." He crosses his arms, frowning a bit when he sees the bandages around your arms again

If you hadn't slept with a long sleeve on, he would've been able to check your hands, but he never found the chance to so he was determined to look at your hands to make sure they didn't look bloody or injured

You had a bad habit of hiding that stuff from him

You don't question it, especially since it's something that has held your curiosity for some time. You never thought to ask him to give it to you so it was nice of him to offer the chance

He knew you would accept the challenge so after making sure you had some breakfast, you two head to the training grounds

You didn't know what you were getting yourself into

He happened to use a clone to give you the test, while the real Kakashi was waiting for the right moment to pin you down completely

He seizes you at just the right moment, completely catching you off guard

With the help of his clone he holds you down on the ground

"Kakashi! What the fuck?" You struggle against him, thrashing your body harder when he starts unwrapping your hands. He has one knee pinned at the crease of your elbow, his hands working at the bandages on your arm

When he sees just how wounded they are, he gets off of you, falling back in disbelief

You get up to cover your hands but he grabs a tight hold on your wrist

"We're done here. Come." He says in a strict tone. You don't question him this time, feeling guilty for hiding this from him and knowing that he was going to force you home somehow if you didn't comply

His grip is tight on your arm but not enough to hurt. He leads the two of you home, the whole time facing away from you

The walk back is painfully quiet, and you want to open your mouth say sorry but the words catch at your throat. You just now realize how dry it was, and you blink away the tears brimming at your eyes

He guides you into your shared home and heads straight for the bathroom. He brings the two of you down to kneel in front of the bathtub and runs warm water

He finally lets go of your arm, instead grabbing both of your hands as gently as he can and brings them under the running water

As lightly as he can, he starts to wash your overworked, wounded hands. His eyes are focused on your hands, and you wish he took the mask off when you got here so that you could read his expression better

He looks at you, uncomfortable from your staring. His eyes go back to your hands, and you could have sworn that you saw a tear run down his face. He turns in a way that blocks your eyes from his face. You look down at your lap, feeling worse now that you seemed to have hurt him somehow

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He finally speaks up after a minute or so

"Doing what? I don't--" You try to play dumb, but you know he's not having it with the glare that he sends your way. You close your mouth and stare at his face.

You see it now. See how his eyes were glossed over, tear stains running down his face up until his mask. Your own lips turn into a frown, eyes welling up with their own tears.

"Kashi--" you gently pry one of your hands away from his to caress his cheek. He leans his face into your hand, eyebrows still pinched together in annoyance with you

"Why?" His voice cracks and he closes his eyes, turning his face away from you

Your heart breaks from his reaction. You move closer to him, settling both your hands on the back of his shoulders, setting your chin atop the least injured one (your non-dominant hand)

"I did this too. When Obito and Rin..." he trails off, not able to bring himself to finish the sentence. "I did this when I was in a bad mental state, Y/N. I was in such a dark place that the only time I felt useful was when I was training. I felt like I didn't deserve to live unless I was strong enough and Kami did I train myself every day. It didn't make a difference, I still felt like shit by the end. If you're going through something, please Y/N I'm asking you to please just...talk to me if you're feeling some kind of way." It's the most emotional you've seen him. his voice cracks. You've never heard his voice strain like that before, not even when talking about his own father.

Your eyes are now free falling down your face, and you can't help but let out a choked cry when you hear how honest and open Kakashi is being with you right now

You drop your head against his back and move your hands around his waist. You hate thinking about him when he was depressed, especially because you know if you or Guy didn't step in to be there for him, things might have been different today

You feel his hands cover your wounded ones, gently drying them and you cry harder into his back

How could he open up to you about the darkest moments in his life and still find the energy to be taking care of you?

He shushes you, but to no avail. As soon as your hands are dry, you could feel Kakashi's tears falling onto them.

"I'm sorry," he croaks out, wiping your hands clean again and you fist his shirt in your hands

"Kashi, I-" you move away from him, taking a deep breath and nudging his shoulders so he would turn and face you

You two look at each other, both of you freely crying and you don't think there's even been a moment where you've felt so close to him, so open, so vulnerable

"I do it so I can be strong enough to protect you." You admit, raising your injured hands to wipe your face. Kakashi replaces your hands with his, and he brings your face closer to his. You use the opportunity to pull down his mask, finally being able to see his frowning lips

"I want to protect you too, you know." He says, using his thumbs to wipe your tears. "But in order for me to do that, I have to take care of myself too. I can't exhaust myself every day without rest and then expect my body to just perform at it's best."

You close your eyes for a moment, trying to control your tears

You hated how right he was

He coos your name to you, trying to get you to open your eyes so his next words will sink in

"It breaks me to see your hurting like this, Y/N. Please let me do my job and let me take care of you from time to time." He brings your face closer to his so he can rest his forehead against yours

"Y/N..." his voice calls out to you quietly, and he smiles softly when you open your eyes, "promise me that you're going to help me take care of you. We'll take care of each other, but in a healthy way, okay?" He plants a sweet kiss on your forehead, and moves his lips down your face, catching any tear that slips past your lashes. He pulls you onto his lap when his lips finally meet yours

As soon as you mumble an "i promise" against them, you can feel him relax into it the kiss as he turns his head to deepen it.

Hellooo hon can i request pls? Can u write for tobirama a one shot where he rejects his s/o but then he sees her with another guy in the village often and starts to realize about hia feelings but its late bc she is marrying this other guy? I need some angst hahahah. Its ok if you don't want to write it! Thank you 😘

A/N: Hello anon, thank you for the request! Here's some Tobirama angst. It made me sad to write this but here we are. The things we do for angst. Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: none. Just pure sadness.

Words: Around 1.475

' The Fire Which Didn't Burn '

-"No. I do not love you."

Those words echoed in your mind days after his initial rejection. Over and over again until it was all you could think about. It stung your heart each time you repeated the sentence. The never ending feeling that it was something you did wrong wrecked your mind, it made work harder and rest scarce for a while. You didn't understand. You were sure he felt at least some semblance of love for you, in the end you were the one he truly did let in his company. One he could rely on for anything that he may need. Or did you read the signs that wrong? At that point it wouldn't be a surprise if it was all for business sake, seeing as you both worked together on making the village prosper and bloom.

But that was almost an whole year ago. Even more. Since then you have moved on from the heart ache. Although a few select close friends knew of your pain, you never indulged them with your gloomy moods that came and went. It was a tendency you seemed to pick up from the younger Senju and the years you spent at his side. Not letting anyone really in. Only letting them scratch the surface of it, to know enough to leave you be.

It has been a whole year since the last time Tobirama had spent proper time with you, a whole year since you both sat down to unwind and discuss things amicably. At the confession of your feelings for him he was rather cold, cooly brushing you off and trying to get back into his work. He didn't feel like it was such a big deal then, he believed that it didn't matter as long as you both still remained a good bond. But he was proven wrong. You recoiled from his reach and even disappeared from his sight. His ears seldomly heard of you anymore. It was as if you disappeared from the village all together. Even if he saw traces of your work, your signatures and reports. It was all superficial.

At first this didn't bother Tobirama much, even if he was initially worried about your lack of communication with him. The man was simply so drowned in his work to take some kind of action, to do anything to smooth things over with you again. On certain days, when work was lesser, he would indulge himself in things he did with you once. Only then feeling the effects, the weight on his shoulders due to your absence. There was no more of your reasoning voice, no more laughter, no more endless teasing when the two of you were alone, no more long nights where the two of you shared your worries and even fears. There was none of it. Only distant memories.

As stubborn as he was, he would finally come to terms that he, in the very least, missed you greatly. That he should've done something sooner. Now he felt embarrassed to even try after so long had already passed.

Tobirama had recently started to seek out information about you. Head full of things, horrible things. Were you alright now? Have you moved on?

As it turns out, yes you were alright and yes...you have moved on. You were still working as a ninja, so how you managed to keep out of his sight so much and for so long surprised the silver haired Senju. And when word reached him that you were getting married soon. He was...he didn't know how to feel, actually. You had found another man to love and share your burdens and future with. He had spotted the pair of you once in the village, walking peacefully side by side. Hand and fingers entwined together. You pressing into his side once to give him a quick hug. Him smiling down at you, a genuine, earnest smile which you reflected back just the same. It made Tobirama ill. A deep, gut wrenching feeling over took him so much that he wanted to bolt. As unlikely as that was for him.

Perhaps this was karma. You were his most trusted friend. You understood him at best and at worst times, and you dealt with him when he was being difficult. You were with him at his side even when his brother got fed up with his arrogance. The amount of times you sat at the stairs on his porch, waiting for him to cool off were countless; even your company alone was salve enough. And not to even mention your beauty, you were the rare one that really caught Tobirama's eye, like no other woman has before. And yet, he pushed you away. Perhaps this was his punishment. The maker gave him a chance, a chance to be happy and content and have someone with him and he let it fall and shatter to the floor. Tobirama could only scowl, and he found himself in a sour mood ever since.

He wouldn't admit it but his heart was aching. Was this how you too felt?

-"Tobirama!"

You exclaimed. Shock written all over your features, the basket of fruit, fish and vegetables hooked onto your elbow. Neither of you knew what to say at first. Tobirama was just as shocked as you, regretting not using his sensory abilities to sense you and turn in another direction. Now that you two ran into each other his tongue felt dry.

Your breath stopped in your throat as you searched his eyes, his face for anything that could indicate some sort of reaction. Yet the only thing you found in his scarlet gaze was yearning, and then emptiness once he collected his racing thoughts.

"Y/N. It.. it has been a while."

He spoke, clearing his throat while his heart felt as if it was going to burst out of his chest. The clothes he wore suddenly felt suffocating and scolding. A tangible tension grew between the two of you.

"Yes. It has been...How have you been doing? I surely hope you are getting some proper rest, I heard there was quite a scuffle recently."

Trying to keep the conversation average failed. A frown became prominent on his lips as he only nodded, in a almost mechanical fashion, but didn't respond to the question. You caught his gaze flickering, only for a second, down to your ring finger. Where the silver ring was. A small gem held on the top of it. And you understood, in a way.

"Oh..."

A wind breezed past the two of you, but it didn't feel comforting. It felt chilling and hot and dry all at the same time, like raking hands that clung to the both of you. If you were paying just a little more attention to the Senju, you would've seen the sadness collect in his eyes. Even if his face remained cold and unreadable. His eyes gave it all away.

The conversation ended rather awkwardly with both of you wishing each other well and saying your goodbyes. So many things were left unsaid then. It wouldn't take Tobirama long after that quick encounter to really admit it to himself that he has grown feelings for you, that he was in love. Realizing a year too late. A year he wished he could get back so he could be with you instead of that man. A year that could make it all better, for the both of you. But no matter how many sleepless nights he had, no matter how much he wished and even prayed, he couldn't take your happiness away. He couldn't even dare do such a thing, couldn't dream of it.

Sometimes you would even worm your way in his dreams, his mind visualizing a future he knew he couldn't have. A happy one with you at his side, in a house different from the one he was in now, with enough space for the both of you and even another addition. No matter how much he dreaded those dreams, he let himself drown in the comforts of them even if for a moment. Letting himself experience what could have been. The phantom touches and plush kisses that soon turned to dust in his mouth when he woke. The image of you still dancing vividly in front of his sleep hazed eyes.

Other times he even found himself crying in those dreams, angry, bitter and regretful tears. Clinging onto you in his dreams, pleading to not wake up yet to make it all better. It pained him. That he couldn't have you anymore. You were now married to someone, and that someone wasn't him.

Tobirama saw how happy you were, genuinely. And he wasn't going to take it away just because of his own mistakes.

Now it was his turn to share the pain you went through. He accepted it all. It was now his responsibility. His mistakes.

All I can say is- ow. Ow. OW. Love this but OW.

pairing: tobirama senju x reader

content: death; angst;

count: 2.3k

'I can't', he never heard it from you before. you must've sound pathetic — on the verge of crying and hasitating to obey. you defied him now when it mattered the most, when he had only you to depend on. he noticed your struggle but said nothing. you didn't understand how could he be so calm, as if it all was just part of a plan or another lesson to learn.

tobirama waited. he knew that at the end you'll trust him and do what he asks of you, even if it's hideous. it saddened him. it was his failure as a teacher — you should have left before, with the rest of the unit.

you took a step closer. he looked tired. his armor was dirty, with cracks all around it, and he's face… it's the first time you've seen him in such a bad shape.

'it's good to die by your side,' he said and a faint smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared on his face, 'you were my brightest student… ever since the day one. always so proud and cheerful. i couldn't help but to see my brother in you whenever you laughed. i know i shouldn't—'

you took another step and undid both sides of his armor until it fell to his feet. his jumper, sticky from his blood, clinged to his skin and it terrified you to notice how easy it was to see his ribs. it was difficult to accept what you were seeing before your eyes — his frailty. tobirama was dying before this mission even started and the sudden grasp of it was enough for you to come apart.

you placed the palm of your hand on his chest. you could feel his heart beating rapidly. please run, stuck in your throat, you're my hokage, I'll die for you. please run… you knew he'd hear you out but he's mind seemed to be already made.

finally, you pointed the knife in your hand against his throat, only mirroring his actions. back in the academy you only learnt about self-sacrifice, but this… was something else entirely. the double suicide won't be remembered as a heroic move — if it's going to be remembered at all.

distant noise made by the enemy, you concluded, travelled through the trees startling the birds. you've never heard such loud ones. the whole group covered the rising sun for a moment and all that was left was him before you and the knifes you held. you took a deep breath, although shaky it slightly calmed you down.

'it's time—' his voice wasn't the one of a teacher anymore. you thought he sounded… sleepy, as if he wanted to say I'm tired followed by goodnight.

but then he dropped the knife away from your neck. 'run,' he started and gripped your hands to keep the steel you held steadily at his throat, 'faster then i ever could,' and he pulled — so hard that with a single slash he had died instantly.

'n-no—,' you muttered and turned away, thoroughly crushed. you had to honor his words, even if it took everything from you to do it, you started to run.