~*TRAPPINGS OF STARLIGHT.*INTERACTIONS.*~ - Tumblr Posts

after the speed of which all has happened in the span of the last few hours ella should be lost in some deep slumber, they all should, and she hopes that crumb, sir hop-a-lot and tadius were finding their own rest. despite the ache flowing through every muscle in her body, the near throbbing where her legs once were, ella ashmore can not even bring herself to be anywhere but on the balcony outside the ballroom, staring out at the kingdom beyond attempting to process both what had happened in the last few hours and all that was to come when the new day fully begins and the sun is properly in the sky. a new start. a new beginning. ella doesn't know if she's ready but it is coming all that same with the bright colors dancing across the sky, making the stars disappear.

“Here it comes; the light chasing away the darkness.” her knight and friend's voice startles and comforts, saddened and thankful for his presence, @forwardmoved 's words making a small smile stretch on her lips and her shoulder's relax.

her eyes do not lower to meet his just yet, instead watching the sky. " i hope it is... i think we are all well deserving of a little bit more light. " doubt strikes her though, nerves- this light will not chase away the darkness that still plagues the back of ella's mind, the grief and pain, how much light will be needed to do that?- but all the same, ella keeps that smile on her face as she looks down at her knight, not hiding all of the conflict in her eyes ( she would not have the energy to do so even if she wanted to hide ).

" if i am being honest, there is part of me who is frightened that once the sun is fully up in the sky, i shall wake in my makeshift bed and this will have been nothing but some sweet dream... " the smile fade a bit, hands clutching tightly to the stone railing in front of her as if to remind herself. " there is so much work to be done... it almost feels wrong for me to let myself enjoy the coming dawn. " and yet she watches as she thinks, almost hoping this light that the light will shine on where to start.

she changes the subject.

" ... how are you faring? "

despite herself ella couldn’t keep the fear from filling her face at her stepsister’s scolding, half tempted to already begin to apologize for upsetting her, though part of her is so focused on trying to read her stepsister without looking too deeply into lucy's eyes- was that foul little creature placed in her hand a gift or was it a trick? ella was thinking trick until her step sisters scolding turned to....

thanks?

ella was certain she looked a fool, staring at rancilda with her mouth slightly agape and confusion swimming in her eyes. she corrected herself, closing her mouth, standing straighter, with her head hung low, almost still bracing herself for some sort of punishment- be it from the youngest troll or her mother, but she commented back as calmly as she could, still honestly. " ...it was a clever one. you do not have to thank me... " but kindness, especially from them... in the years they have been within her house, she knew not the last time she was treated with any sort of kindness.

best not to linger on it all too long. it will not last, ella knew that. even if it did she did not know how long she could look into lucy's eyes without rage bubbling up inside of her and an overwhelming pit of grief. ella focused in on the gift at hand.

" ...would you like me to try and find it? " the roach. the bug. an impossible task but she was used to trying to complete impossible tasks for their own amusement. " was it your friend? "

rancilda was the most tame of the trio. fucked up, nonetheless. that was in her dna and deep seeded, just like the hatred she was taught to have for her stepsister. useless, rotten, worthless. those were the most common words thrown around by her mother. and usually, rancilda was there to egg it on. but at breakfast, rancilda had been proud to deliver a riddle that had fallen on deaf ears . . . except for one person who had laughed. so, she wanted to repay the favor . . . in her own, unique way.

she had something cupped in her hands while she waited on bouncing feet for her stepsister to open her palms. there, she excitedly released a large cockroach into her palms, and rancilda was nearly giddy with delight until she saw the reaction.

" hey!! don't fucking squash it! what the fuck is wrong with you?! " she scolded as she scrambled to try to collect the cockroach, who made a big leap and skittered away. rancilda groaned and huffed out of frustration. her head dropped for a second before she looked up to her stepsister with large brown eyes that belonged to ella's former friend.

" you were the only one who laughed at my riddle today, and i . . . wanted to th -- " she stopped herself as the word caught in her throat, hacking a gag as if the word 'thank' was a hairball rather than a pleasantry. niceties were foreign on her tongue. " thank . . . you . . . "

more often than she cares to admit, ella finds this small but ever present void inside of her- it is not actually there and she knows it’s placed only by herself, the silvered, hard, twinkling vines like bands of starlight that cover her from her feet to her knees, her body refracted, alive, are enough proof of that it is her doubts and foolish wondering that have her doubting that the goddess is far away. yet at night, before all of ella ashmore’s fears and doubts would be casted to the nine good gods, desperate and terrified. no longer do they hear her thoughts and her desperation is far less urgent and more seeking- and seeking more company than anything, because what ella wants answered is something that even she of light and green cannot answer, though ella asks them all the same-

who is she now that her sweet dream has been realized? does she find herself? does she find another sweet dream? does she make others come true- does she dedicate herself not just to the people but to she who granted her what she spent years wishing for? who is ella ashmore now? ---- has ella ever known the answer to that question?

the tree is no longer the @fallbefore 's prison, ella knows such, yet she feels herself drawn to the oak all the time- speaking and thinking of the tree in hopes that the thoughts might find her. tonight, though, after dinner, she could not stop herself from coming to the tree itself, setting off as the sun began to set and arriving just before the stars began to paint the dark night sky.

she knelt before the wood, just how she would pray before, her hand pressed the the tree, and she hopes with the burning thing inside of her chest for her to show herself, not expecting anything, but finding her shoulders relaxing as she hears the familiar voice.

“Here it comes; the light chasing away the darkness.”

there's an exhale of relief that leaves the queen's mouth, her words more of a breath than anything. " ... i am sure it is beautiful. " but she dares not open her eyes, fearing that the woman- the goddess is not actually before her and it is all some trick of the mind. she smiles all the same. she hopes. " ... have you seen much, now that you are free? " a question she longs to hear an answer to and a start to bridge the one question she will dare to ask --- what is next?

as time moves forward, habit settle in about the castle and kingdom, the queen is no different from that which she leads. for her own good and not, ella finds a new routine, a routine only broken when the nightmares strike and darkness seeps into her mind.

ella is safe- she has a home, she has people who would stand by her should trouble come calling, her knights, safety in a title, but that doesn't stop something in the back of her mind from whispering that everything around her is nothing short of a dream, that she might just wake up and find herself on a makeshift mattress, her stepmother or worse, wake up in her bed with her her three tormentors over her, cruelty in the faces of her deceased friends, bone saw in hand, ready to do their job properly with no chance of revival, and slowly detach her head from her body. yes, these sort of fears strike her from time to time, some nights she will have a bad dream, but she has not been caught in such a viscous cycle of horrific visions and possibilities every time she closes her eyes for sleep- some even creeping into her mind as she blinks her eyes. she doesn't know why now it all creeps into her mind, but ella is not searching for the answers either. instead, the queen has spent the last few days trying to thrust herself further into her royal duties far more than normal to try and rid her mind of these thoughts and try not to delve deeper into them. she plans for upcoming events, she volunteers with the people, visiting the local orphanage, handing out food, taking long rides about bogs hollow and beyond to ensure all is well and nothing is in desperate need repair or assistance, or, doing as she is now, looking over papers when she ought to be asleep, reading what is happening across the lands, letters, anything she can do to keep herself awake-

she hears @halfcaped come in but does not react other than a brief glance to see who it is, not saying anything, trying to get some sort of witty comment to enter her tired mind when tadius speaks- “  i know you’re having nightmares again.  ” and ella pauses. she tenses. her eyes look up to his again before she looks back to the paper in her hands.

" a nightmare amount of work to do perhaps- " but her usual tease falls flat, she sounds tired. instead she sighs and puts down the paperwork. " is it terribly obvious? "

@honeyhold, despite what he might think of himself, he and the frog knight both are two of the three reasons that ella is alive now. the both of them had fought for her- died for her and come back still swearing their loyalty. her sweet dream has been realized because of them and because of them, she is not free in every way- she has a duty, and one she intends to do justly, but she is free to be. crumb is her most important knight, her newly appointed sword and shield, but he is also her friend, and the doubt she hears in his words wounds her.

“i promise you i’ll be better.” says the mouse turned man, and ella is quick to shake her head, an assuring smile growing on her lips that she hopes is assure. " my dear sword, the only way that you can be better is if you be kinder to yourself, though i do have something i might need your help with... "

a hand moves to pat crumb's shoulder before ella turns her back to the knight a retrieves something from near her desk, retrieving a swords, runes carved into the blade, the hilt looking like twisting vines. " my father taught me the basics but it's been a while, and i would like to do a bit more to aid the guard as well as relearn myself how to handle a blade. i was wondering if you had any fighting pointers? " she holds the blade out to him, letting him hold it, trusting him with her family sword.

there's a heavy guilt that fills ella's eyes the longer she stares at justine, blinking seeing her face as it was twisted by putrice, cruel and mocking as she had bled out on the kitchen table, another blink and she sees justine, lifeless, dead on the ground. seeing her so alive and well now, feeling the warmth of her hand does not feel real. she's scared this might be some sort of cruel dream... dream or not, though, ella knows she is not certain she wants to explain the horror that was the time time without her and her sisters, the ball, her death, the starlight that is her legs...

" justine... of course i forgive you. of course i am not upset. i- "

ella focuses on her friend's hands holding hers, shaking her head sincerely before she finds the courage to meet the other's eyes.

" no. no, it is i who must apologize to you, not the other way around. i... i should have known what that cruel monster was planning. i should have found a way to warn you before you and lucy even set foot in the estate. i just.. i wanted to believe the best. i needed to see you so i did not think. i- " ella could apologize time and time again without end so she does not, instead she looks down at their hands. she breathed.

this is her friend. she can be honest with her friend somewhat, though she does not want to overwhelm her with her own horrors, not now at least.

" i cannot stop thinking about it. and now i cannot believe you are here. it almost feels like some dream... " the queen swallows, letting her guard down. " i have so many questions... "

starlightwielded sent: i suspect you have questions. to justine?

"No." Justine smiles and shakes her head at Ella's assertion. "That is to say, I am quite curious about your journey," she admits. "But I do not question your position one bit. You will be a wonderful ruler of this land, Ella. I know you will."

Justine admires Ella. She is radiant, somehow even more so now after suffering as she has.

Justine's smile falters. "I am so sorry that I failed to get you to safety."

She had all of the answers until that horrible woman appeared. Although Lucy is safely returned, just as she, Justine will never forget the sight of her baby sister dead on the ground before her. She will never forget the sound of Ella's sobs as she bled out.

She takes Ella's hands. "Trust that I know you do not hold a grudge. You are far too kind." The wound on her body has miraculously healed, but a deeper wound resides within. She knows that Ella will forgive her in a heartbeat. But she cannot seem to forgive herself.

@starlightwielded / meme

oh. oh...

perhaps ella should have prepared herself for the embrace, but it caught her so incredibly off guard, her arms tightening around her almost felt like a stab right to her heart. their conversation, her own feelings, everything for a moment is lost and fades as the warmth of justine’s touch overwhelms and comforts her. she barely can hear justine’s words as that warmth wraps around her and overwhelms in the best possible way.

she doesn’t know the last time she’s been held like this… or rather ella does not think she has ever been held like this…

her mind returns to her before justine continues to speak, but not before she has time to let the forgiveness sink in. the queen listens even as protests stir in her mind- she would have wanted them to. anyone else would have and she would hold no malice or hatred if they had, but lucy and justine were not like everyone else.

that’s something that ella already knew deep in her soul. even before they had saved her life.

protectiveness flairs in her at justine’s words, both at the steadfast loyalty in the statement and mention of the gods- they are alive but ella knows she is changed. no longer is she that happy, carefree, thing skipping around making up languages and dancing about the forrest floor with no worries. she fears that she is gone for good, that her stepmother severed her connection to her along with her feet of flesh. she feels something new, someone who knows too much and perhaps should not be alive, yet here she stands, feet made of strange starlight, crown on her head, mantle and the kingdom on her shoulders. none of that matters as much as who holds her tight- for now, at least.

the queen inhales. the queen exhales. she holds justine back with a fierce tightness, as though her grip could express everything that echoes inside of her head left unsaid. then she laughs softly.

“ careful. i fear my questions are heavy and there is oh so many of them. ” her tone light but relieved all the same. her eyes are shut but she’s smiling still.

ella dares to open her eyes a moment later, shoulders relaxing as she stares into justine’s. “it goes both ways though. if there’s anything that you want to know i promise you that i will tell you. and i promise you you are safe. i swear it. ” she would do anything and give everything to keep that promise.

but where to start?

“ how are you both back? what happened? ” it is a starting point, though ella is slightly scared for the answer.

The weight they all carry could have easily crushed them. It could have squashed the care they feel for each other, but Justine feels stronger for it. She must be stronger to help Lucy and Ella carry it. She refuses to let her tether to either of them snap. Lucy was already her world, but Ella has become another one entirely. She needs Ella as much as she needs Lucy. Without them in her orbit, she will float off into space—a dying star.

Her gaze softens as Ella apologizes. She feels no entitlement to an apology, but she listens without interruption. Ella needs to get this off of her chest. Justine sees it in the way she carries herself. This is a burden that must be released.

She takes a step forward, releasing Ella's hands only to wrap her arms around the queen's neck, cheek to cheek. She hugs her in silence for several moments.

"I forgive you. Of course I forgive you," she echoes Ella's words in a whisper.

She takes a step back, relinquishing her hold on Ella, but she keeps her gaze.

"Even if we found out before stepping foot there, Ella, do you think we would have turned back?" She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"We would have come to get you, and no one, save for the gods, can say if we would have gotten away unscathed."

Justine feels as sure about this as she does about the fact that the sun will rise in the morning. She would re-do that wonderful, horrible day over and over again if it meant that Ella could finally escape her captivity. The only mercy she would ask of the gods would be to take she and Lucy at the same time, so neither had to suffer the other's demise.

"I am here, dear Ella." She places her hand on Ella's shoulder. "I am just as real as you." Her smile grows, creating tiny creases in the corners of her eyes. "And I have all the time in the world for any questions you have."

it is both ironic and strange, how easily the weight of everything slips away the moment that they begin to wade in the water and where the pair have managed to wander. deep down, she knows that they have duties they ought to be doing, a kingdom on their shoulders, but she is clinging to this moment with a tight hold, an almost desperateness for the moment to never end and ella wonders just how much of it is the water' and how much of it is the company. nor is she sure just how much she wants to think on that when she wants to enjoy this break and focus on memorizing the moment; the feeling of the water when it hits her thigh and she dips her hand in it, the childish thundering of her heart, the way tadius looks as he speaks to her… his hair, his smile. the way she feels her own smile grow as she looks.

" we should, perhaps, though i fear i am not quite wanting to. not yet, at least. " a little laugh leaves her mouth, head tilts to the side as she looks back down to the lily pad, thumbing with fondness at the petals, debating picking it or not, appreciating the flower's loveliness. the rest of the day seems so far away, her mind somewhat lost in the current. " what is on the schedule for today? " she asks as she turns back to him again, wide smile still painted across her lips.

@starlightwielded. permanent starter call, accepting.

        his wild smile carried youth in it like you couldn’t believe.   running down the halls with the prince without ever being caught,   being shamed.   boyish,   chestnut curls swept over his forehead.   his heart carried her radiance,   their ‘break’ from the castle,   turning into a walk,   that led to a wander,   and well,   that had led them here,   to the first time they met,   wading in a river.   she had her dress fastened to her hip,   and it surprised tadius just as much as he warmed to the idea of how much sense it made,   that she would know to do that.   a queen that thought ahead,   practical.   after years of spying glimpses of the ridiculous courtwear,   it was a welcome change.   tadius’ pants rolled up to his knees much more simply,   his sleeves to the same.   “ should we be back soon,   my queen? ”   he calls out to her,   from where she spies a lilypad.

if her father were alive, the words this man was saying would have lead to him getting dragged to the center of town and punished publicly, but her father is not here and her father never would have imagined just how much the house of ashmore would burn. he never would have imagined that ella ashmore spent a split of a second thinking about it instead of downright turning it down. that split second fills ella with sheer tension. there's nothing wrong with the woman who work in these establishment but... that is not the life she has been raised for and she intends to live that life she was meant to again, no matter how long it takes-

... but it would be a way out. she would be free. no more torment. no more keeping filthy. no one more cruelty...

" you do know who i am, yes? " she answers quickly, her words not as harsh as they should be, her tongue answering while her head is still partially lost in thought. her own voice snaps her out of it and acts like a scolding more so to herself than him. ella moves quick to continue. " i know i smell and look extremely different, but i do need to make sure you are certain of who you are talking to. "

"You know," Ted's leaning against the outside of the tavern, bud & brew, dark eyes scanning the gangly and ghastly sight of @starlightwielded who had been just trying to pass through the buildings. He knew she was look for peace and not someone else's opinion, but he couldn't stop himself, "you could be so much more than whatever dirt you're left to be by your family." He gives a shrug, dragging his gaze away for a moment only to bring it back with a smirk placed on his lips, "I know your stepmother claims it to be crazy and she is.. quite convincing, but we don't care about all that at the wench hole. well... except needing a bath."

He was wasn't sure what the Ashmore girl would say to him, but he knew her well enough to know she had something at the ready. So did he. He never started a conversation he wasn't somehow prepared for and he knew offering this to the likes of her were bold. She was a walking project and she'd take work to fix up, but he was sure he could handle. He and his right hand women.