Tublr Girls - Tumblr Posts
Merlin: FEAR ME
The Fandom: Oh my god ur so cute, can I hug u
For you, J
I don’t know why I’ve allowed myself to think about you so much for so long.
I feel pathetic and stupid and starkery.
I hate what I’m doing to myself
I hate that I’ve compared so many people to you
I hate that I feel like I annoy you.
I hate that I thought we could maybe be together but it’s dumb.
I hate that I’m so sad but I have no reason to be sad.
I hate that I have created cathedrals in my mind for you, even after I said I’ll stop.
I hated that when I told you I did, you didn’t understand what I meant.
I hate that only time you ever told me you loved me was when I was sitting on your lap in your car at four in the morning and you didn’t mean it. I’ll say it now though.
I love you.
I hate that I didn’t say it back, even if I wouldn’t have been able to really mean it, but at least I would have meant it more than you.
And I hate that I’ve lost my biggest fantasy.
You have someone new but even if it lasts till tomorrow, I know I still shouldn't try to get you back.
You’ll never read this and I’m glad.
So, my somewhat ex-lover
This is me, signing off.