Witch Shit Posting - Tumblr Posts
how does wine DO what it DOES. I feel sexy. I feel relaxed. I wanna take off my pants and kiss.
You: Being a witch must be so ethereal and so dangerous. I imagine you walking in the woods, naked, after sunset, eating only the dew off the ferns. Exquisite. Divine. Otherworldly.
Me: There’s literally a bread holiday, Susan.
Idk guys these Tarot decks are becoming so disrespectful... not paying rent and taking up more and more space.
Spell of ‘This Book Writes Itself’
::A Spell for Writers::
Ingredients:
+One (1) You
+One (1) Novel Idea You’ve Been Putting Off
+Your preferred method of writing
+One (1) Beverage of your choice
+One (1) Summoning Circle and proper offerings to The Old Gods
Pre Ritual Prep Work:
+Have an Idea and a Thought of “HMM! I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK!”
+Spend hundreds of hours developing the world, playlists, characters, backstories.
+Once all that’s done you can move on to the ritual part of the spell
Ritual:
Step 1: Decide you’re actually ready to write the book.
Step 2: Open blank word document
Step 3: Suddenly all the other chores you’ve been putting off become the most pressing and urgent thing to have ever happened on earth.
Step 4: Now that you’re done cleaning return to your open word document
Step 5: Man you’re really thirsty there aren’t you? All that hard work of cleaning worked up quite a thirst. Good thing you were prepared already and don’t have to get up again. Too bad your tea is cold since you went to go clean…
Step 6: Stare at your blank word document
Step 7: Type one sentence
Step 8: Type one more sentence
Step 9: Repeat steps 7 through 8 as many times as possible
Step 10: Save your work and close your word document.
Extra steps for those who are inclined to go above and beyond:
Step ???????: Have a sudden epiphany that the book won’t write itself without you sitting there to write it.
Step ???????: Sell your soul to the gods of writing and pray they make your work coherent.
Step ???????: Make a new cup of tea
Person: “I heard you practice tarot. Will you do a reading for me?”
Me: “Absolutely!”
Me: *pulls out magic eight ball*