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the ties between neurodivergence and identity; why xenogenders are important

this is based off my own experiences, and what others around me have experienced. keep this in mind.

a main thing ive experienced as an autistic individual is a sort of “disconnect” from certain ideas and abstract concepts, mainly because i cannot understand or feel them in the same way a neurotypical person would. this mainly applies to common social constructs around me, and what is expected to be known despite there being no “why” to it. something to note is the fact that gender is a subset of social identity, which as implied in the name, is a basis of social construct. think about it, what defines a “boy” and what defines a “girl”? this is where many others concept of identity (and my own) becomes blurry. since i cannot fully understand my own social identity (what even makes a ‘boy’ a ‘boy’? what defining factors, how could i tell?), i substitute it with what i can understand. (i know what something like ‘space’ is. stardust, planets, and such. because i can understand what space is, and i feel a kinship to it, i can identify with that.) this is also the basis for many neurogenders such as autigender (when ones identity is affected by their autism.) by demonizing xenogendered individuals, and blaming them for systematic transphobia and ableism we often see reflected in transmedicalist ideals, we often are basically saying to neurodivergent individuals, “your identity is wrong and you have to pick one of these inherently meaningless labels!” which is very harmful to us. we cannot change what transphobes think of the community. by blaming us for “everything that is wrong with the LGBT community”, you essentially erase the validity of those who struggle with the concept of identity. we cannot spread acceptance within this community if we dont learn to accept those with uncommon identities and ties to ones own identity.