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Some thoughts about Cater

So much of Cater's life has been dictated by other people's opinions of him, that I think most of what we know of him may not really be who he actually is. I'd even argue that skateboarding and spicy food are possibly the only glimpses we get of Cater's "true" interests and his innermost self, outside of the things that he feels he "should" like.

He looks to others to guide what he wears, what he does, what he likes. We've seen it over and over again; in his Silk Adorned vignette, in his Labwear vignette, when he was helping taste-test items for the Mostro Lounge in the manga anthology, during Chapter 1 and the beginning of Chapter 7, and in so many other scenarios, too. Even his best subject is astrology, looking to the stars for meaning and direction. He's been guided by outsiders; interests and perceptions for nearly his entire life: first, expected to be cute and sweet by his sisters, then expected to be trendy by people online, plus all the other expectations of the other roles he has - Heartslabyul student, upperclassman, friendly and supportive "Cay-Cay". And he became those things.

He takes in other's opinions, and shapes his own in that manner. Now, there's nothing wrong with looking to other people for guidance, but Cater seems to almost lose himself in the wash of opinions, and he fully adapts himself in order to match what is expected of him in each scenario.

There does exist a cute version of Cater. There does exist a trendy version of Cater. There does exist a lonely, tired version of Cater. There does exist a cheery, friendly version of Cater. All of these are true expressions of one or another form of who he is, and make up what we see as "Cay-Cay", "Cay-kun", "Cater Diamond".

But I don't know if we really see him in the way that he feels himself to be; if his deeper desires, what he looks for outside of the things he does for validation come to light much at all.

I know it's been mentioned before how well Cater's Unique Magic suits him, but it SUITS him. He's so multifaceted, that it's hard to tell who or where the "real" one is. But gosh, if I wouldn't love to see him as he is when he's alone. The Cater that isn't focussed on what other people think of him at that moment. The one who orders spicy foods that he'll enjoy eating rather than the more aesthetic ones he won't want to taste. The one who will actually relax.

He deserves to express himself in every way. Including the ways he doesn't usually choose to.