Young Batman - Tumblr Posts
Bruce Wayne, the world's greatest detective, seeing a picture of a man he thinks he recognizes: *draws a red smiley face on the picture* Gasp! Joker!
Kid batman: smudged eye liner, ripped black leggings, somehow always has a cat (Alfred doesn't know where he keeps getting cats), lays in the garden and just stares up at the sky for hours on end
Teen batman: these eye bags are gucci™, soft pun sweaters, debate team, knows all the words to the elements song except adds cuss words to it, screams at the fictional characters in shows when they do stupid stuff, lays in the garden and reads comics/textbooks/any books he can get ahold of
Kid batman: feral witch child
Teen batman: unhinged aggressive dork
Shit teen batman from my very specific au says bc i say so:
"yeah, no, you're not wearing that, you look like a bootleg lil huddy"
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*on the phone with Cat while with the league* "i cant come right now, im working with the elderly"
Hal & Barry: *offended noices*
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*@ the team* "deadass? Not to quote superman but, are y'all bitin' my boot right now?"
Black Canary: *sigh deep enough to restart the fires of hell*
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*at his kids* "so what if he took your crackers? Deck him in his face, we talked about this"
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*gossiping with Dinah* "it was like weird as shit, she fucked her principle, got divorced and posted it on her only fans- yes i know its none of my business- but still tho..."
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"Lowkey,,, Jasons math teacher is fine as hell"
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* @diana* "Not to like,,, drop my trauma here or something but,,, are you my mom right now??? Or did i misplace the signs of mentorship??"
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"I swear to god Susan, if you dont teach your kid to fucking behave i- oh okay, you wanna fight? Pull up, see what happens"
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*aggressively baking* "i'm going to fucking win this bakery sale Tim, i dont care im not your real dad, Susan and her store-bought cookies need to be put in their place"
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"Your english teacher is cake for what? Like,, sir,, double cheeked up? On a thursday afternoon?"
Dick, in the back of the car: "can we just go home?"
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"This is my son Jason, i found him on craigslist"
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"not to like bodyshame or anything but,, why are your toes crusty?"
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"I'll bet you five dollars that superman sleeps with a cowboy hat- yes i know there is no ethical way to get this information, does it look like i care?"
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"Do you think he keeps the dumb goatee to hide a birthmark?"
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*talking on the phone with the sirens while killing aliens attacking earth* : "I cant talk right now, im doing hot girl shit"
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We'll see how far i'll go with this
You know what would make Battinson Justice League even better?
If he had to go through puberty too
I forgot I posted this and it's even funnier to me, once school gets out I'm writing this lol
You know what would make Battinson Justice League even better?
If he had to go through puberty too