Chris Assured Beach Patrol Brad Was Correct. No Glitter. No Angel Wings. No Problem. The Outfit Not Only

Chris assured beach patrol Brad was correct. No glitter. No angel wings. No problem. The outfit not only surpassed guidelines but was nothing short of a beacon of beach fashion. Now what exactly was beach patrol doing about this sand situation? It seemed like a lot and not difficult to imagine some of it would end up in the car for the next umpteen weeks.

Their new neighbor Becky didn’t get how Chris was suddenly Calvin Klein. Was she supposed to play along? Becky never could tell when Brad and Chris were serious. Did they know that’s who she assisted 4? She saw her boss enough @ work thank u.

Turns out Brad and Chris already knew of Becky’s connection. They met Calvin on that legendary flight to Geneva. Unfortunately, the airplane toilet room only fit 3 so the cabin boy had to kick Calvin out. That or he was straight. Neither Brad or Chris could remember. There was a lot going down and covering every base as to sexuality with any shred of efficiency at the very same second the term cis became a thing without any briefs just wasn’t happening.

That’s when Becky asked Brad and Chris if they wore anything other than Speedos and skimpy underwear. Two months now living next door and their matching square cut Prada swimmers at the cooperative garage sale were the closest thing to full coverage she’s seen.

Brad said that wasn’t true. He wore a neoprene harness last week to chop a kale salad he or Chris never ate. That was practically a shirt and the the food perfectly fine but as an American, it ended up in the garbage as it does.

Chris agreed but then stated he needed to backtrack as there was a Geneva correction. It wasn’t Calvin Klein that was in the toilet room prior but Janet Jackson. Chris always mixed those two up. Brad had yet to get that far. Years later, he was still coming down from the baby news. It really shocked Brad.

Chris then mentioned to Becky, by happenstance Brad had two bothers and two gay dads and went to an all boys school. All cards in the deck of life do play out. Most of us forget that. We must consider ourselves lucky when we run across a rare hand.

Looking at her phone, Becky excused herself citing an urgent need to purchase lottery tickets and to throw away the pot roast in the oven. She didn’t want people to think she was Canadian or something else horrific like French Canadian.

What the difference was beyond her, but she knew enough to not get involved with people who think ice is something to stand on. There weren’t that many Canadians and well, duh. Becky then mentioned Palm Springs was a way better Dry as who on Earth would ever build a respectable resort on tundra?

Grabbing her red knit shawl Becky nodded farewell to each of the boys and headed for the front door. Just before she closed it behind her, Becky spun around to answer her own question.

“No one. That’s who.”

Then in an instant she was gone.

You know, Becky was not anything Brad or Chris expected.

Contrary to popular belief spandex capris pants can and do work out for men. Check out this gym hottie. Whether they look better on the floor still debateable. Chris said no word yet on tan lines or tats. The front desk says Mr Capri is apparently visiting from out of town so no one knows what’s below deck.

Brad then relayed the jealous woman with the super flat tummy who was walking out of the room when he walked in said Mr Capri here has been going at the current routine in front of the three way mirror for twenty minutes. She’d stick around for the rest of the show but needed to pick up her daughter from school.

Brad thought enough to get her number to text updates. He wasn’t Luke with his private eye but would catch what he could on film. Brad couldn’t remember if he mentioned he liked her moody green crop top but felt he would properly connect it as a driver of his actions in about three days time while chopping up a kale salad for lunch.

As for now, Mr Capri’s abs were lit. Yum … oh and those colorful shoes. Adorbs! Chris lusted over their size then wondered if the man might be Brazilian. Brad then asked if those pants might technically be capris? They could also be quarter length. No one doing cardio on the balcony overhang with a clear view could agree as to what either meant.

Chris missed the comment as that’s when the lunges started. Brad let out a faint gasp.

Well. Was the underwear coming off or was Chris putting it on??! UGHHH! The cues from the photographer were so confusing. Who uses stage directions to snap Grindr photos?! Really?!? If the left hand didn’t make an “L” shape naturally, Chris was pretty sure he would have had a nervous breakdown by the age of 12. That little trick gave him six more months. Take that vacuum suck to quality of life. HA! “Oh man. Did I 4get 2 shave my dinger?!?”

With each having profiles on grindr and active travel schedules, Brad and Chris knew it was only a matter of time before Gustavio and Luke hooked up.

I first feel the need to say that’s my BF Brad. Don’t worry too much. He’s been through worse.

Brad walked in a church once when he was 15 only because there was literally a tornado across the street & it was the closest building around. It was destroyed but luckily Brad managed to lodge himself between the pews so the giant cross with a man nailed to it didn’t crush him but rather provided a twisted sort of shelter from the rest of the debris. For three hours Brad was trapped with this chiseled nearly naked dude with thorns in his head obviously in horrific pain hovering right over him.

Brad still has nightmares. I cringe just from recounting the story. I have never seen a twister myself but I do know Helen Hunt vanished essentially overnight like plastic straws and Dorothy didn’t deserve being discounted by her uncles when she just wanted to share her dream.

She was knocked unconscious by flying debris. Poor kid. Can you imagine? I can’t support the film for that reason and of course the unforgivable special effects. Terrible. Just terrible. I mean they were criticized by the people of the day. Take a moment to read the original reviews. It’s very telling.

Did you know stealing pets is still not even a law in most places? Why are we stealing pets anyway? There’s the beginning of your problem. I can tell you that much.

Here’s what else I can say from 22 years of experience. 19-throw-it-away, stop recycling Pandora’s box, and create something to last a lifetime. No one does their research, we spin instead of provide context and no one will admit to themselves they already think. We need more than fabricated reason, a Google education, and a river cruise through Egypt to get through life you know. I tried them all and look at where we are. Where is that anyway? Never mind. It will come to me.

Now, before you say anything and to answer your question… Yes. It feels nice to get out. Lot’s going on but nothing going on. Do you know what I mean? BTW’s, please let me know if I’m putting words in your mouth. I’ve been talking to one person now for more than a year and you are my first contact since the onset of the pandemic. I should probably ask for your names huh?

(A short pause)

Ok. Let’s give this another whirl. Yeah?

Aloha. I’m Chris. We may get to my other half later. Do u frequent the Venetian pool often?

Ohhhh. Wait. Hold up. I remembered where we were but still f-d it up. It’s been a minute so forgive me. I forgot to ask your names. What are they? Then, I desperately need to know where you got your matching Brittany Spears halters. They absolutely rule.

Drugs Rock n Roll Bad ass Vega Whores Late Night Booty Calls Shiny Disco Balls