"how Does No One Realise That Bruce Wayne Is Batman?"

"how does no one realise that Bruce Wayne is Batman?"

The Rogues: hOW dOEs NoOne- MIND YOUR BUSINESS WE'RE HAVING FUN!

They're so in love, they cancelled the wedding, they're divorced, they're soul mates, they're opposites yet the same, she makes him so stupid I love them. They're endgame but their media can never actually reach that end.

Uggggghhhhh

I feel like there's not enough selina headcannons, which is fair because she's painted as the main love interest in most media and gets content from that but I don't really see much acknowledgement of her as a member of the batfam within fandom. I'm serious I'll take anything

Strange lady in the house who miraculously spawns cats with her appearance doesn't really pitch in with the parenting but insists on cooking a family meal once a month, that she makes sure they all eat even if they're not in the same room.

Give me weird kinda aunty selina Kyle that used to come around and spoil the older kids when they were younger but the rest don't really know anything about her. Like

Dick: yeah remember when Selina used to come over for date nights and she'd sneak us one of her latest steals

Jason: oh yeah one time I got this massive ruby

Tim: how come I never got anything like that

Jason: *sighs* cause you're lame replacement

Give me stepmom Selina Kyle who Damien literally can't stand, she reacts like the fiance from parent trap. Each trying to annoy the other but she's the person he goes to when he's worried about his animals and she trusts him to help her rehabilitate strays.

Give me a female figure to check in on Cass from time to time even though she thinks she doesn't need it, cause almost everyone in that house uses 3in1 body wash and she can't let the girl suffer (this excludes Dick but you can't tell me that Bruce wouldn't just grunt something about efficency)

Selina spotting Stephanie and Duke around the city and having to remind them that, it doesn't matter that Bruce gave you that as a gift you know better than walking around the narrows with a 2k watch, and taking them shopping in whatever the US version of primark is.

She's grown so much from just a love interest. Just give me Selina and her relationship with the kids outside the context of being someone their dad dates. (I can only take so many "eww they're flirting" jokes)

Just like a random cutaway scene during a fight of someone arguing with their computer arguing against a bat/rogue pairing but then the same pairing blast past with the villain doing their "we're two sides of the same coin batsy" speech. So then they just have to sigh and type back "I see your point"

Yk what dc definitely needs? An ao3 cameo bc have you seen your fan base, there is definitely some rando writing Batman/Brucie fics in Gotham because Batman Is Not beating the sugar baby allegations.

And have you seen the fucking batfam, Jason writes BatBruce fanfics whenever he feels Chaotic and Tim edits them whenever he get pissed at Bruce

Now I really want to see like fandom wars in the DCU but it's just the Batkids fighting for their ship bc they want [blank superhero] as their step parent

Imagine going on Tumblr and it's just like the same 10 blogs threatening each other because they don't agree with who's fucking batman? It'd be hilarious

Twitter fic this Twitter fic that, what about tumblr fics, huh?

Me @ every single person who attempts to pedal the "SeLiNa DoEsN't WaNt KiDs" fanon bullshit in her tags

I see alot of posts about Tim's missing spleen and the batfams reaction to it but has anyone considered the much funnier options of Bruce, being an invasive psycho dad, doing some scan of his children finding out about his missing spleen and getting it back/replicating a new one. Like

Tim *bored and wanting to get a rise out of bruce*: the only thing I've ever truly lost is my spleen

Bruce *sipping coffee and reading a case*: batcave freezer underneath the popsicles but above the ice packs

Tim: wha-!

Bruce: if you hit the chunk of Jason from the explosion you've gone too far