Unraveled Ch.8: Dull

Unraveled Ch.8: Dull

Ch.7 Ch.9

"Cocaine though... Must be a one-off." Ellie spoke as Alec poured himself a cup of tea.

"They're not that type of family, Chloe's not that type of girl." Ellie continued to say - though she seemed to be attempting to reassure herself. Her hands on her hips as she observed Alec at the kitchen; myself standing to the side of Alec, peering through the blinds to the gray sky.

"Nobody ever is." Alec states in response, continuing to make his bitter tea.

My mind drifts away from the conversation, it's not that I'm uninterested, it's just that I can't seem to focus. What Jack said to me at his shop still replays in my mind, the confrontation still fresh. I just can't believe he would say that to me, after how close we've gotten, I've even started to think of him like a second father. I understand why he doesn't want to tell anyone, but he should know that I would never break my promise, and that him threatening to tell others of my experience frightens me more than anything.

In my peripheral I notice Ellie walking away, probably something to do with the dull phone ring I heard a few seconds ago. Shaking my thoughts away, I attempt to settle back into reality when I hear someone - I presume to be Alec - speedily walking out of the door and down the hallway. I turn just in time to see the door close, quickly following after him. I just manage to catch a glimpse of him as he slips into the restroom. I'm a little confused as to why he left in such a hurry, it's not like we haven't had the restroom available at all times.

I decide to just go back into the room and wait for him to return, sipping the bitter tea he made whilst daydreaming.

_______

Alec walks back into the office and I quickly put down the now empty mug, slowly walking after him until he enters his private office. Deciding to give him his space I head over to my own desk.

The workers in here still make me uncomfortable, their eyes are scanning everything, and I don't like how that one guy is looking at Frank's desk. Having strangers here in general makes me uncomfortable, though there ain't much we can do about that at the moment.

I glance up as I hear Ellie telling off a phone line guy, this guy specifically makes me feel nauseous. I don't know why, but just being in the same room as him makes me uncomfortable, uncomfortable to the point of having an internal argument on whether I should just continue working at my desk or walk into Alec's office with my laptop and continue work from his couch. However, I don't have time to decide as Alec quickly strides out of his office, calling for us to follow him.

"Carlisle, Miller. Postman, come on." He speaks as he shoves on his jacket, not even sparing us a glance. Ellie pushes me forward as I stumble back into reality, hastily tossing on my jacket as well before following after Alec.

_______

We're out here in a nice, quiet part of town. I remember looking for a house out here, but everyone living in this area has a family, and being around them just made me sad. The children of said families either reminded me of Pippa or Daisy, both of which left me feeling guilty, ashamed, and morose.

Deciding I need to pull myself together and get back into this investigation I listen carefully to Kevin. He's a nice lad. I've seen him a couple of times on my occasional early morning walks, but we've never said any more than 'hello's' or just the normal greetings.

"Yeah, that's my round, up past Briar Cliff." He responds, hands shoved in his pockets casually.

"And did you work the route last month?" Ellie questions, hands folded politely in front of her as she awaits his answer.

"I think I've done every delivery out there for the past eight or nine weeks, I'd say." Kevin states as he estimates how long he's been working his route, glancing slightly between Ellie, Alec, and myself.

Ellie also gives the both of us a small glance, about to say something before I decided to speak,

"Did you ever see Daniel Latimer during your rounds?" My voice is steady, holding no accusation, maintaining a neutral tone.

"Yeah, all the time. He used to deliver papers up there to a couple of houses, including the hut... When I heard, I thought, 'I've only seen him a couple of days previous'." I can tell he's answering honestly, I really don't think Kevin was involved, but I know we have to be thorough and be completely sure.

Stepping back I allow Ellie to continue her questioning,

"And did you ever talk to him? I'm thinking particularly the last week in June."

"I might've waved, and maybe said 'hello'. I didn't really know him to talk to." Kevin replied, his voice holding a hint of confusion as to why last week in June was important.

"That's it? Just 'hello'?" Ellie clarifies, her mind likely wondering as to why the information Jack gave us isn't adding up, myself wondering the same thing.

"What else would I say?" Kevin asks, curious as to what else he would say and why he is even being questioned about it.

An empty pause fills the atmosphere, the information we were given isn't adding up. I look over to Alec's stern and stoic figure, he hasn't said a thing the entire time, just listening and reading Kevin's body language. As the silence drags on, Kevin's curiosity turns into confusion, his mind now realizing that something must've been said about him that led the police to warrant questioning him.

"You didn't ever have a conversation with him?"Ellie breaks the pause

"No" Kevin responds.

"Or an argument?" Alec's voice is steady and calm, he must also know that Kevin is more than likely not a suspect. I cross my arms and glance away from him as I listen to Kevin's answer,

"What am I gonna be arguing with a paper lad about?" He responds, probably a little weirded out as to why they would ask if he ever argued with Danny.

"And where were you Thursday night?" Ellie continues, asking him for his alibi.

"Thursday, I'd have been with the boys. We got hammered. Six of us, there was. Finished at 4:00, My missus woke me up at 7:00, I was out cold." Kevin explained, nodding his head as he remembered his whereabouts.

"We're gonna need the names of all those you were with." Ellie replies, Alec glancing over at her before going to me, then back to Kevin.

"But I mean, you don't think I had anything to do with it?" Kevin concerningly asks, pointing at himself in disbelief.

"Oh, it's just to rule things out. Nothing to worry about."

"Alright, thank you Kevin." I quickly say as I attempt to draw Alec's attention away from Ellie, pushing them forwards.

I can almost feel Alec's struggle to hold back telling her to shut up. The questioning was going good, and Ellie is doing fairly well for her first murder, but her and Alec will most definitely continue to butt-heads on this case.

"Don't say that." Alec speaks in a quiet and frankly tired tone, being careful to not allow Kevin to hear their conversation.

"Don't say what?"Ellie asks, confused as to what she's done this time."

"No need to worry." Alec replies.

"Why not?" Ellie questions, finding no fault in her past words.

"Don't reassure people. Let them talk." Alec states. Hearing him talk like this reminds me of when he would be forced to mentor new recruits back at our old station.

"Can I just say, you can't just walk up here and try to mold me. I know what I'm doing, and I know how to handle people. And you can keep your broody bullshit shtick to yourself." Ellie frustratingly rants for a moment as they approach her car.

Releasing a tired sigh I lazily grab Ellie's arm and pull her away from the car and a little down the sidewalk.

"What are you doing?" Ellie questions, still frustrated from her prior conversation.

"Ellie, I get that you don't like our new boss, but that doesn't mean you ignore everything he says!" I grunt as I glance over to see Alec leaning against Ellie's car.

"Don't tell me you're taking his side!" She responds, now even more frustrated.

"Listen, whether you like him or not, what he is saying should not be ignored. You shouldn't have reassured Kevin, he would have continued talking had you not said that." I explain calmly.

Her expression goes from frustrated to conflicted, hopefully my words get through to her, the last thing we need is for her to make her first murder case harder than it already is.

She releases a quiet sigh before looking up at me, giving a small nod. I smile in reassurance before giving her a playful shove and walking off to my car.

_______

I decide to take a detour, sending a quick text to Ellie before turning my car away from the station, instead heading towards the grocery store.

The real reason I postponed going back to the station was because I needed a breath of air away from everything. With everything that's going on, feeling bad and haunted by my past makes me feel selfish, but that doesn't stop my memories from affecting me; I feel disgusted and shameful of myself, I should be worrying about Beth and finding Danny's murderer, not worrying about what happened to me.

I pull into my parking spot, the steady foot and car traffic isn't really helpful, but it's a welcome change from the foot traffic of the phone men in our office.

I just sit in there, my eyes glazed over as I stare through the windshield, trying to convince myself to get out and buy something I want to eat. The only thing that awakens me from my internal thoughts is the sound of a loud scrape.

I jump in my seat, praying it's not a crash that will require my attention. Instead of finding two drivers arguing, I see Beth, who, in a fit of rage, is slamming her hands against her car.

My recent thoughts forgotten, I speedily shove my door open, and run towards Beth. I grab her arms lightly but firmly, attempting to stop her from hitting the car and possibly hurting herself.

"Beth...Beth stop." I calmly speak as her rage simmers down, only her sadness remaining as she leans herself against me, slowly crouching to the ground, myself following.

I can hear someone else calling her name, but I'm too focused on her to care. I only realize it's Paul when he crouches down across from us, a concerned look displayed upon his face.

"Are you alright?" His question is obvious and stupid, but it is what you would expect anyone to ask. Though I saw his question coming, Beth's answer was far from expected.

It takes her a few moments before she responds, her entire face seeming dazed at everything that is truly happening to her.

"I'm pregnant." She states, leaning against the car as though both physically and mentally exhausted. Her response shocks me, I can only imagine how this affected her when she first found out.

Shaking myself out of my thought-filled daze, I assist Paul in helping Beth up, Paul lifting her by her left hand whilst I provide stability on the other side.

We sit in her trunk for about a minute before Paul breaks our silence.

"Have you told anyone?" His question was, once again, obviously going to be asked. But that's not to say that it hadn't preoccupied my mind for the past 60 seconds.

"I only found out about two weeks ago." Came Beth's reply. Usually when someone talks about their pregnancy they are filled with happiness, but with Beth I can hear how exhausted she is.

"You don't want to tell Mark?" Paul asks as he glances over at her.

"It's complicated" Was Beth's short reply.

"Of course." Paul accepted, though you could see the worry and confusion at her current situation.

Placing my hand gently on her shoulder, I give her a small smile as she glances at me.

"Do you have anyone you can talk to? Your mum, maybe?" I question calmly.

"No. Not now, and don't you go telling her either." Beth states, her voice serious and her tone final.

Another silence ensues for a couple of moments, and I know for a fact that Paul is going to ask her another question. As much as I love Paul, he tends to ask a lot of questions whenever he's in a situation like this.

"What are you gonna do?" He questions, I hide my grim smirk, knowing now is not the time to find humor in knowing your friends so well.

"Can you stop asking me bloody questions?" Beth retaliates, beginning to become frustrated.

"Beth, you know he isn't trying to upset you." I state, trying to calm her growing tension and Paul's growing uncomfortableness.

"No, no, it's alright, I do ask a lot of questions, apparently." Paul explains.

"I'll leave you alone." Paul continues, standing up, nodding his head to both Beth and myself before heading on his way.

I can practically hear Beth thinking, though I don't know what to say. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, and finding out your pregnant after your son's murdered must be a very shocking and unnerving thing to deal with.

"Beth.. I know you don't want to talk about this, and that's okay, but are you going to be alright on your way home?" I question softly, trying not to enrage the already on-edge Beth. She simply gazes forward at the bustling people before glancing towards myself, offering a short smile before replying.

"I'll be fine Els, you go on." Her voice is strained, almost as though her body has had no rest in quite awhile. Unsure of her answer I simply nod and get up to leave, but not before saying,

"If you ever want to talk, whether it's just in general or about this, I'm always here." I state comfortingly before nodding to her and heading off to my car, the thought of buying myself a snack long having left my mind.

Ch.7 Ch.9

David Bowie: Kid Sister

Imagine living with your older brother, David Bowie, but running away when he chooses drugs over you:

Being David Bowie's younger sister is hard enough, but having to watch him destroy his life is near impossible.

He and I have quite the age difference, he's currently 27, whilst I am only 15, but he has taken on the role of both father and big brother. When he first took me in I was 11 and he was only 23, he had wanted to stop by and surprise us with a visit after being so busy with his latest album.

It's a long story how he ended up my legal guardian, but let's just say he walked in on our mother berating me, and witnessed her slapping me across the cheek. Needless to say, he was not pleased in the slightest and demanded a reason be given as to why I was slapped. Our mother gave no answer, instead only glaring at me with an even darker hatred than before.

She took a step towards me and I don't know what came over me, but I sprinted around her and into David, crying my eyes out as I hid behind him. I remember my small hands grasping the material of his sleeves, just wanting some feeling of love and acceptance. He seemed stunned, taking a few seconds to react to this; leaning down, he handed me his keys, telling me in a soft voice to go wait in his car. I nodded and went to open the front door when our mother decided to intervene.

"Not another step young lady." I froze in place, this was the harsh tone she used when I knew I was going to be punished and tormented for the rest of the week. Usually she doesn't do more than slap me, but with tone she doesn't hesitate to bring out the belt. I was so close to the door, but the fear that burned in my chest made me want to throw up. I wanted to get away, but what would happen to me if I took another step?

No one made any move, but I knew that this might be my only chance. Taking another step I hesitantly looked over my shoulder towards my mother. She was furious, I could almost say for certain that there was a red gleam in her eyes. She starts walking towards me, but before she can reach me, David moves between us.

"Get out of the way, David." Her tone is sharp, I'm surprised when David makes no movement in response, simply settling a glare upon her.

"She's coming with me and that is final." His sentence is almost growled out, and I can tell mother is just as taken aback as I am, stepping back slightly as her facial expression morphs into one of shock. Not another word is spoken as David turns, grabbing my shoulder as he walks us out of the front door and to his car.

The ride is a blur, I can't find myself focusing on anything other than the bleary stereo and the gray skies. I only come back to reality when he pulls up in-front of a fancy hotel, handing his keys to the valet before helping me out of the car. I glanced around in surprise, he's taken us to the nice side of town, everyone is wearing their nice clothes that I would usually only wear on Sunday for church. David releases a quiet giggle at seeing my look of awe, patting my shoulder as he leads me into the hotel.

I stay silent through the process, making sure to stay directly on David's side as he gets the room key and walks us into the elevator. David leans back against the wall and watches the numbers, but I take this time to observe him; after all, I haven't seen him in quite a while. He's grown his hair out a bit, longer than the last time I saw him, and his face looked almost angry even though it was neutral. Walking to our room he sits me down on the bed, sitting himself next to me with his hands folded in his lap; he seems hesitant, but I know why.

"Just ask me already." My voice is quiet, I cast my gaze downwards as I hear David swallow heavily.

"How long has she been treating you like that?" His question is spoken carefully, almost as though worried that I might break if he didn't pick every word precisely. I feel a small smile trying to form, it's odd, having someone be so gentle with me, especially after the years I've spent with my mother.

"... Ever since dad died." I didn't want to tell him why, mainly because our father's death hurt him a lot as well, but he was already out of the house when that happened; not having to deal with our mother during the aftermath. I don't blame him, in fact, I never wanted him to know, I hate being such a burden.

"Well, no one will ever hurt you again. I promise." His tone is a stark contrast to earlier, being stern and certain; not harsh, but strong and confident. I look to the side, meeting his gaze before pushing forward and hugging him tightly. His body goes rigid, clearly being surprised, but slowly steadying as he envelopes my weak form with his arms.

_______

Ever since that day, I lived with my brother, traveled with him, helped him with his music, etc. We shared a life in a way, but he always made sure that my education came first, hiring me private tutors everywhere we went. I had so much fun, being raised by him was much different than being raised by our mother. David was kind and gentle, only really getting stern when I blatantly went against our agreed upon rules; such as that one time I snuck out of our hotel and went backstage to one of his concerts.

Oh, he was pissed, we got into a bit of a row before stomping off in opposite directions. We avoided each other for the rest of the night and the following day, only talking during a midnight snack run-in. I apologized, I knew it was dangerous to sneak out to a concert where I might be recognized and swarmed by fans. I also told him my reasoning, having not seen him for more than a couple of minutes over the last few months due to the concerts and rehearsals, exclaiming that I just wanted to see him.

David also apologized for yelling at me, he hates yelling and felt really bad, to which I made sure he knew it was alright. He promised to try and spend more time with me, taking time out of the next day for us to go get lunch and ice cream.

We had a lot of fun, but we ended the night running away from a crowd of fans. One of them had managed to grab his sleeves, resulting in him losing his coat. I laughed at first until we finally got away. I observed his hunched over body as we heaved for breath, he was much skinnier than I thought. I hadn't really been paying attention, but I can tell when someone is underweight, and he kind of reminded me of a skeleton.

That was when I started to pay more attention to him, noticing how he'd been more withdrawn recently, spending most of his time reading or in his room. I noticed that he often sniffled, I thought he had a cold, but something about it struck me as odd. I continued watching over him for the next year or so, noticing that he never lost the sniffles for long, they would usually return after a prolonged trip to the bathroom. He also stopped eating a lot, he used to love my occasional cooking and our random jaunts to restaurants, but that all suddenly stopped.

I finally said 'fuck his privacy', searching through his bags after he'd gone to sleep. I found a bag full of white powder, and I'm no idiot, this isn't fucking flour, it's cocaine. All the signs I've noticed now make sense, but that really does fuck all for me. What can I do now? I can't tell him I know, cause then he'll ask how I know. I just need to make sure he doesn't kill himself by accident.

_______

I softly knocked on David's door. He has an interview soon, yet he hasn't left his room all day. I'm really worried about him.

"What do you want!" His voice is rough and sharp, I jump slightly. He's recently taken to shouting at me whenever I do anything, and it scares the living daylights out of me; I know I shouldn't be scared of him, but it reminds me of mom. Anytime she yelled, I knew the day had gone from bad to worse.

"David... You have an interview soon, your people said it was in 15 minutes and that you should be heading out soon." My voice is higher in pitch, that only happens when I'm dreadfully aware of my surroundings. The places we stay in are nice still, but that homey vibe that used to accompany David has long gone.

The door creaks open, the room is dark, like the curtains have been pulled and all the lights smothered. His face is pale, sickly shining in the sterile lighting of the hall. The most haunting look is his eyes, they are so empty, he just stares at me with this dull look as though not even seeing me. David has been like this for a few weeks now, gradually refusing to acknowledge my presence to the point of convincing me I might not actually exist.

It hurts a lot, knowing the person you love and look up to sees you as nothing, but I still push forward.

He pushes the door open wider and walks past me, already dressed up in his suit and dragging along a cane.

"David... David!" He walked into the living room before turning to me, his eyes seemingly set ablaze.

"What." His tone is sharp with agitation, the short response making me feel uncomfortable.

"I... I was wondering...if-" My hesitant words get cut off as David glares at me.

"Hurry up and say it already!" He raises his voice, I can tell he's holding back from shouting at me.

"I just... David, I know." I don't know how else to word it, I just know that I need to confront him on his drug abuse.

"You know? Know what?" He actually seems generally confused, oh how his senses have been dulled.

"I know... I know about the drugs." The last half of my sentence is whispered, but his immediate rigidity alerts me that he heard me loud and clear. I finally look up to his face, and somehow he's become even paler; so gaunt I fear he may faint.

"H-How do you know about that?" For the first time in a while he sounds vulnerable, maybe even a little scared. There's no going back now, I have to tell him the truth and hope he sees reason.

"I looked through your bag a while ago and found it, please don't be mad!" There was a lilt in my voice, but it wasn't pleasant to hear, it more emphasized my worry at how this situation could unfold, and the next movements would only solidify that worry.

"How dare you." It had been silent for about a minute, so his stern toned sentence caught me slightly off guard.

"What?"

"Don't bring up matters that are none of your business!" Talking to him is like riding a roller coaster, one second he responds calmly, the next he's shouting your ear off. I actually stumble backwards, somewhat in shock due to the pure aggression and loathing he conveyed through his tone. The shout resonated in my head for a few moments before I forced myself to talk, my courage beginning to run thin.

"But David! Surely you can see that you're addicted-" My voice is soaked with concern, I love him so much, and this self-destructive behavior of his is hurting me as well. I'm about to continue but he steps forward and roughly shoves me back against the hotel wall.

"I'm not addicted! It is just a hobby!" The unbridled rage flows through his eyes, I see him raising his hand, but the rest is unknown because I shut my eyes tightly and turned away. I held my breath for a few seconds, awaiting the onslaught of abuse, but after being met with none I decided to maybe open my eyes.

The view I'm met with is pitiful almost, David is simply staring at me in shock, my arms still up to block any hits. I begin to breathe again, slowly lowering my arms as I watch his eyes well with tears.

"Y/.. Y/N, why did you do that?" I stare at him wearily, I thought he was going to hit me, I don't trust him anymore.

"You know why." I state solemnly, my voice but a whisper in the quiet hall.

"I would never!" He shouts back defensively, causing me to flinch away again.

He backs up frantically, he's about to say something before someone starts slamming on the door, hurriedly stating a message.

"Mr. Jones, your interview is in 5 minutes! We need to leave sir!" David stills for a moment before turning away. He straightens his suit and smooths his hair before grabbing his cane and walking to the door. As he's reaching for the handle he turns back to me, that same empty look having embodied him again.

"We'll talk about this when I get back." He's so cold, that's the coldest he's ever spoken to me, and I don't think I can take it anymore. Nodding my head, David leaves without another glance, a heavy feeling settling in my chest as I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I wipe them away quickly, the torn sleeve of my shirt dragging across my skin.

I can't stay here anymore, the way he spoke, what he did, how he left... He's chosen, and he didn't pick me. I should leave now, while he's gone. I stumble to my room, my legs apparently being a little wobbly after that interaction.

I pull out my backpack, shoving in clothes as well as my pen and notebook, packing my tooth brush/paste, combs, and moisturizer. I have to pack light, if the crew sees me heading out with a suitcase they will surely stop me from leaving, and I don't need David knowing that I was trying to run away... I worry to think what he would do to me.

I tear off my shirt and jeans and shove on a clean pair, wrapping my large jacket around my shivering frame, slipping on some insulated sweatpants as well. What can I say, it's December in New York City, I'm going to be cold as it is, no need to be freezing. I let my hair down to block my face, shoving on my boots before taking one last glance around.

Taking in my surroundings, I close my eyes and say a silent goodbye to David before grabbing my belongings and leaving.

Jack Celliers: Beautiful Eyes

Imagine your best friend/crush(Jack Celliers) discovers that you were a girl the whole time:

Jack Celliers, that's a name I haven't heard in quite a while. He was one of my closest friends, my best friend even, and he's the only one to ever figure out my secret.

The secret I try so hard to hide is that I am actually a girl, I just dress up and act like a boy so that I could go to the good schools, and eventually join the military. I don't know who my parents are since I've been on the streets my whole life; no one knew me before I put on my disguise, so it was the perfect idea, at least until I met Jack

I cut my hair short, but long enough that it will fringe over my forehead and in front of my eyes. I do this in fear that if I truly look someone in the eye, they may discover my horrid truth.

I have boyish features, a passably low pitch voice, wide shoulders, and a lean body, all of which aid me in keeping up appearances. I didn't have to wrap my chest when I was younger, but I started to when I reached my teenage years; this of course caused some problems, especially during physical education classes.

_______

The first time I met Jack was during my first day at school, no one knew me, and that was just how I liked it.

I had managed to get special entry into the school based on my high test scores, which are due to my self-education and extensive reading of all forms of literature. I hadn't been in a real school for years, and I was joining in at the age of 15; so I had grown into my more feminine features. Which seemed to solidify a permanent nervousness that emanated continuously throughout my bones.

Before I began my walk to school I looked in my broken mirror, rechecking the wrap around my chest to assure it was snug. I turned to the side and pulled my white uniform shirt tighter, just to make sure I was well hidden, and to my relief I was. Releasing a shaky breath I straightened my tie and shrugged on the gray jacket, smoothing it down before ruffling my hair and turning to leave.

The longer I walked the more my mind wandered. Do I still look convincing, my lips have filled out more, does my face look too feminine? I try not to smile or laugh as much, and I try to keep my talking to a minimum. Sometimes I'd accidentally break out of my facade, my true tone grabbing the attention of passersby; so I've learned to just not talk whenever possible.

_______

As I entered the school my attention was ensnared by the old charm of the buildings, the architecture, the plants, as well as the boyish atmosphere. I've never been in such a nice place before, I lived in an abandoned building most of my life, so this school feels like heaven.

I was so busy observing everything that I ended up tripping, having gotten my foot caught on a stone; I was about a second away from slamming into a brick wall when strong hands surprisingly grasped my shoulders at the last moment. They pulled me back up and safely onto my feet before relinquishing their grip, I felt anxious as I began to turn around, the stumble already had my heart racing.

The face I met was not what I expected - he looked to be about my age, and unlike most boys, he had a boisterously bright shade of blond hair. I had to look up a bit to greet him, but when I did, I found myself unable to speak. He was beautiful, his skin was light, and his eyes the most calming blue. I immediately noticed a slight peculiarity in his left pupil, but quickly shook myself, having realized that I'd been staring blankly for a few seconds.

I'm about to speak, but he beats me to it.

"Careful there, can't have you hurting yourself on your first day." His accented voice rings out through the noisy environment, and his face adorns a lovely smile with crooked teeth. I'm so entranced by him that I overlook how he knows it's my first day, instead anxiously attempting to form a response.

"Thank you, I really should pay more attention next time." My voice is a little shaky, and I get a nervous chill when I realize that I didn't lower my tone enough. His expression goes from welcoming to curious - maybe even slightly cautious, and a glint of something streamed through his eyes, but it was gone before I could interpret it. His head tilts slightly to the side as he silently gazes at me for a few seconds.

"It's alright, no harm done. Now what's your name? I'm Jack Celliers." He reaches out his hand, the grin reappearing on his face. I force my nervousness away as much as possible, reaching out my hand and carefully shaking his.

"Hello Jack, I'm Shiloh, Shiloh Carmichael."

_______

That was the day I knew I had met my best friend, he was always there for me, helping me with things that I didn't understand, especially when it came to maths and sciences. We were in the same year, which helped out a lot as we had a lot of classes together. I'd end up helping him as well, mainly with literature and history.

It took me a while to open up to him about my past - 2 years to be exact, but I eventually told him of my situation. How I have no memory of my family, that I live in an abandoned and crumbling building, how I learned everything from staying up at unreasonable hours reading as much as possible, how I only have two other pairs of clothing, and that I have to beg for enough money just to get them washed.

Needless to say, he became quite distressed and worried about my situation; don't even get me started on his reaction to learning that my first real meal was the school lunch I ate on my first day. My heart raced at the worry he was displaying for me, I wanted him to care for me, but not in the friendship way. I try to bury those thoughts though, he thinks I'm a boy, there's no way he would ever care for me the way I want him to.

_______

I scrambled into class just before the bell rang, my body shaking with adrenaline as the teacher harshly glared at me, telling me to take my seat in a curt tone. I nod my head as I rush to my seat, Jack immediately looks to me, offering a smile before returning his attention to the teacher.

I was unable to pay attention to any of my lessons, my mind kept straying to what happened last night. I had walked back into my 'home' after a tiring day of school that was followed by Jack talking me into playing a couple of sports games with him and his friends. I just wanted to fall onto my raggedy mattress and drift away, but the sight I was met with was a group of about 3 men.

They were all much larger than me, and ransacking through what little possessions I had. They all turned their heads to me, eyeing my backpack and nice uniform, glancing at one another before grimly smirking at me. One reached into his pants pocket and flicked out a switchblade, but before they could even take a step towards me I had bolted out of the building.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me, but it is no less scary; the last time I was caught they took everything but the clothes on my back.

Being a teen now, I hoped they would give up, but they chased me for a good while, almost catching me a couple of times, but they eventually gave up. I had run into a small store along a busy street, my lungs felt like they had been ripped in half, and my feet were about ready to fall off.

I had nowhere to sleep that night, and I had lost all my other clothes, meaning I was going to be stuck in this uniform for a while. I had taken my chest wrap off when I started walking home too, and I ditched it as soon as I took off, so I'm in a bit of a rough spot. This means that I have my shoulders constantly pushed forward, and my jacket buttoned all the way up today.

As lunch lolled around, I found myself sitting on the stairs away from the lunch hall. I just wanted some alone time to think, to try and figure out how to get spare clothes and a new place to stay. I'm sucked out of my thoughts by something landing in my lap, I glance down to see a soft, fuzzy looking peach. Staring up in confusion, I am met by the concerned gaze of Jack as he offers a quiet greeting. I want to respond, but I really have nothing to say at the moment.

After a second of no response he sighs, dropping himself onto the stair next to me, his elbows resting on his knees as he looks over to me. I, of course, avoid his gaze at all costs, only finally giving in after a few minutes of silence.

"What's wrong Shiloh? You haven't said a word all day, and now you're skipping lunch, you never skip lunch." His voice is concerned, he's sitting so close to me I almost want to blush, but I know I can't allow that.

"Jack... I'm f-" I begin, about to say I was just feeling tired from sports yesterday, but got cut off by him.

"Don't tell me a lie." His accented tone was sharp, almost warning me that there would be consequences. I shy away from him now, he's never talked to me like this, I don't want him to be angry at me, and I know lying will only aggravate him further.

"...When I got 'home' last night.. There were some people there." My sentence comes out hesitantly as I tentatively look at his stoic face, the sternness quickly shifting to concern.

"What?" His voice raises in surprise, he shifts his body to face me as I continue.

"To cut a long story short, I don't have any place to stay, and the only clothes I have are the ones I'm wearing. Everything else is theirs now... I'm just glad they didn't catch me to-"

"Catch you! You mean they chased you!" The shock in his voice is evident, but not as obvious as the distress that's radiating off him in waves.

A silence settles over us as his eyes shift from me to the floor, wringing his hands as he thinks, his mind seems to be running a mile a minute.

"You can stay with me." It takes me a few seconds to acknowledge that he actually just said that. My head snaps towards him, I can't help but be stunned. I open my mouth to argue, but the look he gives me tells me that he won't take 'no' for an answer.

My eyes dart to the floor, a moment passing before I release a sigh and reluctantly accept his offer.

_______

I tried to slip out of school before Jack could stop me; I thought it would be easy to disappear amongst the throng of students, but the hold on my arm tells me something different. I turn to see Jack giving me a warning look, his serene blue eyes holding a protective element in them. I turn my gaze to the students leaving before lowering my head, allowing Jack to lead me away.

The whole day I've felt on edge, maybe because I don't have a chest wrap on today, maybe it's because I didn't sleep last night. Or perhaps it's because I am undeniably attracted to Jack and now he's having me live with him and his family until further notice. How am I supposed to hide my true self now? How am I supposed to hide my love for him? It certainly doesn't help that he towers over me, all the boys at school say I'm short, but at 5 foot 6 I am the average height for a woman.

"I called my parents during break, they're fine with you staying with us, but they need the living room and guest room clear, so we'll be sharing my room." I swear my heart was trying to rip itself out of my chest with how hard it was beating, and I could feel my breath getting caught in my throat, but I tried to cover it with a cough before nodding my head 'okay'.

We stay silent the rest of the time, but I could tell that Jack had something on his mind that he desperately wanted to say, and it's making me nervous.

_______

Jack said his parents and brother were out until tomorrow evening, so we spent our time exploring the house; him showing me his room, the kitchen, where the bathroom and laundry rooms are, as well as showing me the garden. I could tell he was surprised when my face lit up at seeing the beautiful plants. I was so caught up that I grabbed his hand and dragged him around as I named all the plants as well as little facts about them. I couldn't see it, but he had a warm smile on his face as well as a light blush dusting his cheeks.

We spent our time sitting in the garden, doing our homework underneath the shade of the trees. Him helping me with my maths, myself helping him with his literature homework, he always seems to have trouble understanding the assigned chapters.

The sun was beating down a little harsher than usual for this season, and the jackets were making us a little stuffy. I shrugged mine off without a second thought, Jack doing the same thing, he turns and places his jacket beside him while talking to me about the passage. As he looks back towards me he suddenly halts mid-sentence. I look towards him in confusion, but his gaze seems to be even more confused as he looks from my face to my chest in a quick succession.

My entire body goes rigid as I realize my fatal mistake, quickly grabbing my jacket and wrapping it back around me. My breathing stutters as I hurriedly shove my books into my backpack before I hurriedly start walking away. Jack sits there for a second in shock at this revelation before bolting up, running towards me as I too had now begun to run.

I should've known better than to try and run from Jack for he catches me in no time, tightly holding my wrist as he pulls me back towards his house. I tried everything from sitting down to biting him, but nothing stopped him as he dragged me inside, only releasing me to shut and lock the door.

I drop my bag and bolt through the house and up the stairs, trying to find some escape; in my delirium I corner myself in his bedroom. I can hear him right behind me, slamming his bedroom door shut as he grabs both my wrists and pushes me back to the wall. I don't know what to think, he's probably just as confused as I am - maybe even a little angry. I'm also terrified, I could lose my best friend right now.

He hasn't said a thing to me the entire time, and now all the stress and anxiety is just too high, so high that I find myself no longer able to hold back the river of tears. I turn my head to the side, not wanting him to see me in such a weak and vulnerable state. His grip loosens as he surveys the situation, unsure of how to react, especially after what has just occurred.

"Don't.. Please, don't cry, Shiloh." His voice is soft, softer than I've ever heard him speak before, and his tone seems different than his normal caring one. I turn my head away from him even further, but he gently places a hand against my jaw, tenderly turning me to face him. I shut my eyes tightly, fearful of what I might see.

"Open your eyes darling." My eyes open slowly in shock, him calling me 'darling' sets my chest a flare as my attraction for him comes forward with a vengeance, my cheeks burning with a crimson blush, my tears slowing as I gaze up into his doting eyes. My hair still drapes over my eyes, obstructing our eye contact - something that he quickly fixes.

Gently raising his other hand, softly combing his fingers through my hair as he brushes it to the side. My breathing is shallow as I gaze deeply into his eyes, his cheeks also seem to be tinted red as he smiles affectionately at me.

"Much better, I've been wondering what your beautiful eyes looked like."

Senseless Reality:

Senseless Reality

Sinnelose Realiteit(Afrikaans)

Realitet Pakuptim(Albanian)

毫无意义的现实(Chinese)

Nesmyslná Realita(Czech)

Meningsløs Virkelighed(Danish)

Zinloze Realiteit(Dutch)

Réalité Insensée(French)

Sinnlose Realität(German)

Beprasmiška Realybė(Lithuanian)

Бессмысленная Реальность(Russian)

Senseless Reality(Shakespearean)

Guys, I used a translation app, no need to get critical.

Unraveled Ch.2: Unhappy Ellie

Ch.1 Ch.3

It's my first day back to work in a week since I was called out on a family issue back in Scotland, and luckily I had a week of vacation days stored up. Ellie has been out too on a family vacation to Florida, and we decided to meet up and go to work together.

Walking down the sidewalk, I ran into her and Joe pushing around little Fred with Tom walking alongside them, talking with a joyful Mark. As soon as Ellie saw me her smile grew even wider.

"ELS!!!!!"

"ELLIE!!!"

Ellie quickly handed the stroller over to Joe before tackling me in a hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me as I returned the favor to her. We finally separated after a few more seconds of hugging, smiling widely at each other before I looked over to greet her family.

"Hello Joe, Tom, little Freddy!" I exclaimed, my Scottish accent thicker than normal due to my visit back to Scotland. I lean down to tickle Fred, his laughs of glee ringing through the crisp morning air, helping to renew my spirits.

"Hello Els, are you coming to sports day with us?" Joe questioned as we recommence walking, the stroller being returned to Ellie as he pulls Tom into his side to ruffle his hair.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss seeing my favorite godson play." I state as I ruffle Tom's hair as well. Him laughing, pushing my hand away before hugging me quickly.

"So Miller, first day back at work, how do you feel?" I question sarcastically, falling in step next to the family as they continue along.

"Honestly Els, we've known each other for almost a year and you still call me Miller sometimes." Ellie states in fake annoyance, having grown accustomed to my habit.

"I know Ellie, but it's a habit, just think of it as my nickname for you." I respond honestly, frowning slightly as I briefly think back to who gave me this habit.

"Fine. I'm super excited to be back, because they said I would have the D.I. job, so I can't wait!! How about you, CARLISLE. I know you just got back from a week off, so how are you feeling?" Ellie smirks as she mocked me using last names.

I let out a slight huff at her, "I'm feeling the same as always, just can't wait to get back to work. Being with my family is overwhelming sometimes."

"Hope your family is doing alright... How about you come with me to drop the kids off and then we can go to work together." Ellie smiles as she looks at her family quickly.

I smile back and nod in agreement.

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"Morning! Hi! Hiya, morning! Hi, I'm back!" Ellie exclaims jubilantly in her happy personality, everyone clapping as they welcome her back. I simply lean against the counter of the small kitchen area with a small smile as I watch her enjoy herself and give gifts to some people. Everyone always loves Ellie's warm and welcoming personality.

Stuck in my thoughts, the sounds and the applause starts to fade into background noise, my skin beginning to sweat slightly and my eyes shuttering closed. I quickly get up and walk as calmly and casually as possible, slipping out the door and rushing into the bathroom, locking the main door after assuring that it's empty. My memories are fighting me, forcing me to relive the case that caused all these problems, all the welcoming and cheering that mixed together at Ellie's return sounded far too similar to the sound of rushing water. It didn't help that on my visit to my family they brought up that dreadful case.

I try to calm my quick breathing, desperately attempting to think of something else but the only image in my head is of my friend and I looking into the water and him immediately rushing in with myself following soon after, watching him nearly drown before dragging him and the body out of the water. I can still feel the icy water encompassing my body, my lungs being suffocated by water as I allowed myself to be pushed under so that I could push my friend up.

I almost stumble to the floor, grasping onto the counter for stability as I try to steady my breathing, slowly pulling myself up and patting my face with wet paper towels before looking at my reflection and seeing a tired and lonely person.

Ever since I was called out to my family the flashbacks have increased and have been stronger than usual. I have been avoiding my family because they remind me of the case and of my childhood best friend; the sudden rush of having to see them, and then being forced back into a life of crime solving was a little much. But I have to pull myself back together, this is Ellie's day after all, she's going to get the job she wanted, and I can't trouble her with my stupid issues.

Putting on a facade I walk out of the bathroom, heading back to the room to see it quieting down. I stride over to Anna and quickly ask, "Hey Anna, do you know where Ellie went?" My eyes scanning over the room to see no sign of her jubilant self.

"Oh yes Els, she just got called in by the head, most likely telling her the bad news right now."

"Alright." I say about to walk off to the office before immediately stopping as I comprehend what she said.

"What do you mean 'bad news'?" I question, the confusion overflowing my voice as I look at Anna. Her face showed slight surprise before remembering I was gone. I don't wait for a response, rushing over to the office only to run into a very unhappy Ellie.

"Can you believe this Els! They gave my job to someone else! And a man at that!" Ellie whisper-shouted at me as she dragged me outside of the station. Her anger was overflowing, so I tried to calm her down, but my attempts were futile.

"And not only a man, but one with a case so bad that it's going to screw our station over!" She exclaimed as she stomped her foot in contempt.

"Alright, easy Ellie, I had no idea this was going to happen and it's awful, but let's evaluate the situation. If he's as bad a D.I. as you say then you will get his job, if he's a good D.I. then we should try and learn from his experience. I know you may not like it, but you haven't experienced a lot in this station. I've been through homicides and rapes on a daily basis, but the worst you get out here are misdemeanors. So let's calm down." I explain firmly as I grasp her shoulders, making her look at me. She lets out a slight huff of irritation, knowing that I'm right in that she does lack some experience to be a D.I.

"Fine, let's just go back inside and see how it goes." She mutters before trudging back inside. I can tell she's going to definitely hold a grudge against this new D.I., and it's going to be a new experience, because an angry Ellie has never been seen so far.

Ch.1 Ch.3

Realitet Pakuptim(Albanian)

Ishte herët të enjten në mëngjes kur ajo mori lajmin e tmerrshëm se burri i saj kishte vdekur.

Ajo kishte pyetur veten pse ai nuk u kthye në shtëpi natën e kaluar, edhe duke pritur nga telefoni, përfundimisht duke e thirrur atë por kurrë nuk mori një përgjigje.

Ajo sapo kishte ecur me femijet E saj, Liseta dhe Alonso, ne rrugen e tyre te gjate per ne autobusin e shkolles ne pritje, duke pershendetur me kujdes teksa ajo iku me zhurme, duke e lene ate te buzeqeshte dhe te bjere me dore teksa autobusi nuk shihej. Duke u kthyer në shtëpi ajo kuptoi se zogjtë ishin veçanërisht të qetë, në mënyrë jo normale kështu, kjo e bëri heshtjen të parehatshme pasi ajo ishte e bllokuar me mendimet e saj të paprera; as era kërcitëse gjethet e rënë nuk ishte aq e zhurmshme sa zakonisht. Ajo i zbuti flokët e saj gërsheta të zeza anash përpara se të tërhiqte pa pushim në mëngët e pulovrës së saj blu-gri, duke i mbështjellur fort krahët rreth trupit të saj ndërsa ajo filloi të kthehej në shtëpi, duke dëgjuar nga afër kërcitjen nën këpucët e saj, mendja e saj ende ende ende ende po bredh në konfuzion se ku ishte burri i Saj, Rykeri. Disa hapa larg verandës së saj, ajo e ngadalësoi duke ecur ndërsa dëgjoi tingullin e një makine, hapat e saj u lëkundën pak ndërsa ajo u kthye, duke zbuluar modelin e zi e të bardhë të Belmontit, Makinën e policisë Së Ohajos që po i vinte drejt saj. Shkëlqimi kundër xhamit të përparmë nga qielli gri e bëri të pamundur për të parë se kush po i jepte makinës, duke e lënë të pasigurt nëse do të ndjehet i gëzuar apo i shqetësuar me pamjen e papritur.

Sa më afër i afrohej aq më shpejt rrahja e zemrës së saj, duke marrë frymë thellë ndërsa ajo shikonte makinën të tërhiqej pak metra larg. Duart e saj në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme duke u përdredhur me njëri-tjetrin ndërsa ajo priti që dera e makinës të hapej, papritmas të ndihej e parehatshme edhe pse ishte mjaft ftohtë. Ajo i dinte rreziqet që i kishte burri i saj për shkak të punës së tij, dhe e dinte se ai mund të plagosej apo vritej në çdo thirrje, por asgjë nuk do ta përgatiste atë për vështrimin e dëshpëruar të oficerëve teksa dilte nga makina.

Rykeri ishte duke thirrur me partnerin e tij për një grabitje dhe hyrje në një zonë banimi, krimineli kishte dalë nga mbrapa dhe e kapi shtëpinë për t'u afruar pas tyre ndërsa hynin nga dera e shkatërruar, duke qëlluar të dy herë prapa, para se të vraponin. Policia po e kërkonte tani atë, por ka vetëm dy dëshmitarë, një që e pa atë ndërsa filloi të hapte derën e tyre dhe një komshi që pa se çfarë po ndodhte dhe thirri policinë.

Siç e shpjegoi oficeri se çfarë i ndodhi mendjes së saj u zbraz, zhurma tashmë e zhdukur e pyllit plotësisht dhe se nxehtësia e parehatshme u zhduk papritur, duke e lënë trupin e saj në vend të kësaj të ndjehej bosh. Ajo shpejt e gjeti veten të detyruar të kthehet në realitet kur oficeri kishte arritur të prekte shpatullën e saj, nuk ishte e pasjellshme apo e padëshirueshme, pasi ky oficer ishte shok i mirë me veten dhe Rykerin, por papritur dhe papritur kontakti i papritur e tronditi aq sa t'ia merrte shpatullën dhe të bënte një hap mbrapa. Dhe, ja, ai u tërhoq prej krahut të vet, e shikimi i tij u ul poshtë në dysheme, e ajo filloi të pendohet, sikurse ajo e kuptoi se ka vepruar.

Më në fund tha, "Më vjen keq Carter, ndjehem pak i tronditur për momentin."Zëri i saj me trimëri të qetë, një belbëzim i vogël ndërsa përpiqet të kuptojë dhe të kontrollojë të gjitha emocionet që kalojnë përmes saj. Një pamje mirkuptimi lahet në fytyrën e tij para se t'i tund kokën solemnisht dhe të kthehet në makinë, "Lamtumirë E Trishtuar."Carter foli, duke ofruar një buzëqeshje të shkurtër, të trishtuar para se të hynte në makinën e tij dhe të largohej.

Kishte shumë mendime që nxitonin në kokën e Sadenit, të gjitha lajmet nuk e goditën ende plotësisht. Me mendjen e saj duke garuar ajo u fut ngadalë në kabinën e saj në shtëpi, duke mbyllur derën para se të pushonte ballin e saj ashpër kundër drurit të ngjyrosur, duke i dhënë vetes një moment paqeje para se të largohej dhe të shkonte në telefon për të bërë disa telefonata.

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Shtëpia është e errët, duke dhënë një aureolë shqetësuese dhe e lëvizur; dielli nuk ka lindur ende dhe nuk ka drita pranë, megjithatë këtu është një djalë me uniformën e shkollës dhe çantën e tij në heshtje duke mbyllur derën e përparme. Ai fillon të largohet nga shtëpia e tij shpejt, atmosfera e shqetësuar që e rrethon atë ngadalë duke u larguar nga larg sa më larg, shpatullat e tensionuara dhe duke u pakësuar në një paranojë të lehtë.

Ai ka një shenjë mbi sy, ngjyra e kuqe që e bën të qartë kundër lëkurës së tij të zbehtë. Ai mori këtë shenjë në të njëjtën kohë që humbi nënën dhe gjysmë motrën e tij, përplasja me makinë ishte brutale, vetëm ai dhe një nga pasagjerët e tjerë që kishin mbijetuar.

Ai i mban sytë larg nga dritat e verbëra që kalojnë çdo herë kur ai ecën në trotuar, paranoja e tij duke u zhdukur sa më afër Pellgut Të Bingham-it. Ai gjen një vend larg rrugës, duke vënë çantën e tij poshtë ndërsa sheh mjellmat dhe rosat e përgjumura. Një buzëqeshje e vogël nderon tiparet e tij siç e mban mend kur ai dhe nëna E tij, Liz, vinin këtu herët në mëngjes për të folur dhe parë lindjen e diellit para shkollës; buzëqeshja e tij zhdukej sa më shpejt që kishte arritur, kur e kuptoi se mund të vinte vetëm këtu tani. Ai gjithmonë mund t'i kërkonte njerkut Të Tij Alek të vinte me të, por kishte frikë nga çdo përgjigje që Dha Aleku, veçanërisht tani që ai ishte i vetmi që i mbijetoi përplasjes së makinës.

Në një përpjekje për të shkundur mendimet e tij nga e kaluara ai shikon prapa tek mjellmat, admiron bukurinë e tyre në ujin e errët. Disa rrezet e para të diellit fillojnë të shkëlqejnë në qiellin e zbehtë, një fllad i lehtë që e bën atë të dridhet pasi ai nuk ka xhaketë uniforme që kushton para shtesë. Ndërkohë që ai ulet dhe përkulet kundër një peme ai e shuan dhimbjen që i ndez në shpinë para se ta shkundte dhe ta tërhiqte çantën drejt tij, duke zbërthyer metalin ngrirës dhe duke u afruar, duke tërhequr një dosje që përmban detyra shtëpie të pambaruara.; shumë prej tyre ishin rrënuar e lotë, edhe pse ai i mbante në dosje. Duke liruar një psherëtimë të lodhur dhe të dëshpëruar, ai filloi të punonte, duke filluar me emrin e tij, 'Arçer Carlisle', duart e tij të ftohta po e bëjnë më të vështirë për të shkruar dhe për të parë dritat e rëndimit nëpër sytë e tij, ndërsa ai e di se nuk do t'i bëjë të gjitha këto detyra shtëpie përpara shkollës; frikë mbushjes së tij me mendimin për t'i treguar Alekut për klasën e keqe edhe pse detyra e tij të pambaruara dhe të shqyera ishte faji I Alekut. Me një psherëtimë tjetër ai u kthye në punë, duke u përpjekur për të përfunduar sa më shpejt dhe sa më saktë të jetë e mundur.

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Ka kaluar një javë që kur më thanë për vdekjen e tij, e dija që nuk mund të rrija në Shtëpinë tonë të rehatshme Të Ohajos, veçanërisht që kur Rykeri e ndërtoi atë; vetëm se duke hyrë nga dera më bëri të vjellë duke e ditur se nuk do ta shoh më kurrë.

Funerali ishte dje pasdite... Fustani i zi që kisha veshur tani është një grumbull hiri gri në zjarr. Vajza Ime Liseta shkoi me mua, ishte një ditë me erë me një spërkatje shiu të hedhur në tokë jashtë; duket se bota madje po vajtonte për humbjen, por kjo është ndoshta vetëm unë që po i vë gjërat e thjeshta. Djali Im Alonso e mori vdekjen e babait te tij shume fort, e di se sa afer ishin, dhe duke pare djalin tim duke qajtur beri nje lot permes fasadës time te fuqise, por me duhej ta fshija shpejt teksa perqafoja djalin tim duke qajtur. E qara e tij zgjati për një orë, Liseta filloi të qante, gjithashtu kur pa formën që dridhej Nga e imja. Atë natë ndenja me ta në dhomën e tyre, ulur në dysheme në mes dy shtretërve të tyre, një dorë është kapur në secilën nga të miat siç u thashë histori për t'i joshur ata për të fjetur. Kur e dija që ata ishin në gjumë, vazhdova t'i mbaja duart e tyre, duke u anuar kokën time pas murit të drurit teksa shikoja lart në tavan, drita nga hëna duke krijuar hijet e degëve të pemëve në murin e kundërt. Thjesht u ula aty, duke menduar për telefonatat që bëra ditën që mora lajmet.; deri javën tjetër, ajo që ka mbetur nga familja ime do të jetë në vilën Tonë Skoceze, larg nga këtu, larg tij.

Akoma duhet t'u them fëmijëve, nuk jam i sigurt si t'u them që po largohemi, nga gjithçka që na kujton babain e tyre. Unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ata nuk do të përbuzë mua për këtë vendim, por vetëm duke qëndruar në këtë shtëpi shkakton mendjen time për të enden në një drejtim unë nuk do të lejojë veten për të shkuar në.

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Zilja bie me zë të lartë ndërsa unë ngutem në derën e mbylljes së klasës sime, duke shikuar në dhomë unë i shoh të gjithë të ulur dhe mësuesi duke më shikuar me vëmendje. Duke ulur vështrimin tim, shtroj detyrat e shtëpisë dhe kthej faqet e përfunduara në kosh para se të kaloj në tavolinën e mësuesit tim për të arritur sediljen time, duke shmangur vështrimin e tij dhe të gjithë të tjerëve gjatë gjithë kohës.

E di që nuk duhet të trembem nga mësuesit e mi, Por Z. Currai ka të njëjtin zë të ashpër si Aleku, dhe nuk mund të ndihmoj por të jem i shqetësuar sa herë që shkel në klasën e tij; rregullat e tij strikte dhe frikësuese nuk më ndihmojnë saktësisht kur përpiqem të bëj dallimin me të dy.

Z. Currai po më shikon nga kompjuteri i tij, unë gëlltis nervozisht dhe ndaj pak në sediljen time ndërsa shikoj poshtë në letrën që kam vendosur me delikatesë mbi tavolinën time. Biseda e qetë e klasës kishte rifilluar disa momente më parë, por u ndal shpejt kur Z.Currai shtyu figurën e tij të anuar nga tavolina e tij dhe eci në kohën e parë të klasës.

"Z. Carlisle, dëshiron t'i shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove? Përsëri."Dënimi i tij i parë mospëlqyes kundërshtoi shumë fjalimin e tij të ashpër 'përsëri'. Në mënyrë të pandërgjegjshme unë e ul kokën time si klasa është e heshtur, klasa të tjera mund të qeshin, por ata nuk e dinë për të bërë shaka në këtë klasë.

E tund kokën ' jo ' i besoj plotësisht zërit tim për t'iu përgjigjur pa belbëzuar.

"Nuk të dëgjoj, Arçer. Mund t'ia shpjegosh klasës pse u vonove."Zëri i tij i mprehtë, i theksuar ra kundër heshtjes dhe nuk la vend për të shmangur pyetjen e tij. E di që po më shikon teksa pret përgjigjen e tij. Më në fund e shikoj atë, duke u përgjigjur qetësisht ndërsa shikimi im dridhet vazhdimisht midis tij dhe tavanit.

"Fjeta shumë, zotëri, nuk do të lejoj që të ndodhë përsëri."U përpoqa të prezantoja një fytyrë të qetë për ta ndaluar atë që të më thërrasë përsëri, mendja ime brenda po shtien me mendime në se ai do të pranojë justifikimin apo jo. Një e dytë kalon para se ai të kthehet në tabelën e bardhë dhe të fillojë të shkruaj, të gjithë shpejt kopjojnë atë poshtë në fletoret e tyre, biseda duket se është harruar. Mendimi i shqetësimit vazhdoi të më acaronte në kokë se ai e dinte se justifikimi im ishte i rremë, por nuk kisha kohë për të dhënë atë ndonjë spidim pasi unë isha tashmë duke mbetur pas shënimeve, dhe lëndimi im i fundit i dorës nuk do të përfitonte as nga unë.

Klasa përfundoi më në fund, shumica e njerëzve ishin paketuar dhe po prisnin tek dera për zilen, vetëm pak njerëz ishin ulur në tavolinat e tyre. I vë detyrat e shtëpisë në dosjen e tyre, dhe e vendos bllokun tim në çantën time. E arrij dosjen kur një dorë tjetër e kap në fillim, një dorë që nuk i takon asnjë studenti. I mbaj sytë lart para se të shikoj poshtë në tavolinë, Ishte Z. Currai ai që po mbante dosjen e detyrave të shtëpisë, ai po anonte mbi tavolinë ndërsa po kalonte nëpërmjet dosjes së hapur tani.

"E dini, organizata dhe kujdesi juaj nuk rritet kur ju ktheheni në letra të shqyera."Ai pohon se ndërsa mbyll ngadalë dosjen, duke e mbajtur atë jashtë për mua që ta marr, gjë që e ndjek shpejt, duke e vendosur atë në çantën time.

"Do të më thuash arsyen e vërtetë pse duket gjithmonë se je vonuar?"Z. Curraig pyetje, zëri i tij normalisht i zhurmshëm dhe i ashpër tani është më i qetë dhe që përmban një aluzion shqetësimi. Kanë kaluar disa momente dhe duhet të përgjigjem kur të zërojë.,

"Arçer, nëse ke një arsye të vërtetë se pse je vonë, e kuptoj, por nuk mund t'i pranoj më këto justifikime të rreme. Kjo është hera e 10-të që je vonuar. Nëse nuk mund të më japësh një arsye të vërtetë atëherë më duhet të të dënoj."Zëri i tij nuk ishte kurrë shumë i rreptë apo i ashpër gjatë dënimit, duke patur më shumë një ton paralajmërues ndaj tij, por e gjitha që mund të grumbulloj është të tund kokën ngadalë' jo ' ndërsa shikoj lart për të takuar vështrimin e tij. Z. Curraig thjesht pret një sekondë para se të lëshojë një psherëtimë të eksperuar dhe të largohet nga tavolina.

"Mos u vono për paraburgim Z. Carlisle."Është e vetmja gjë që thotë ai para se të kthehet në tavolinën e tij, zilja e ziles dhe studentët që nxitojnë të dalin nga dera, unë ndjek menjëherë që të mos vonohem në mësimin tim të ardhshëm. Mendimet e mia për pjesën tjetër të ditës janë të mjegulluara se si Do të reagojë Aleku kur të kthehem vonë në shtëpi, si do të reagojë kur t'i them se kam dënim përsëri. Pellgjet e tmerrshme në gjoksin tim, e bëjnë të ndihen të shtrënguara dhe ajri mbytet ndërsa unë e kaloj ditën.

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Ditën e parë në shtëpinë tonë të re, ishte një vilë që e kishin prindërit e mi dhe unë e trashëgova. Larg Nga Ohajo, larg Nga Rykeri, Deri në Glasgou, Skoci, i vendosur në një zonë të mirë me fushat e gjelbëra dhe një mur guri që e rrethon me kujdes.

Liseta dhe Alonso e kishin marre levizjen me mire se sa e prisja, duket se ata donin te largoheshin aq sa une. Kisha thirrur përpara që të sigurohesha që vila ishte gati kur mbërritëm, dhe një mik i prindërve të mi do të vinte të shikonte fëmijët e mi që kur më duhet të shkoj në punën time sa më shpt të jetë e mundur. Duke vrapuar nga shtëpia, i jap një përqafim shokut, shpejt duke deklaruar se do të jem në shtëpi para se të garoj tek makina Ime Me qira Volksvagen. Lidhëset e çantave që përdredhin teksa përpiqem të vendos gjithçka në makinë, shpejt e fus në ndenjësen e pasagjerit para se të rregulloj pasqyrat dhe të nisem për në punën time të re.

Retë gri të shpërndara në qiell më kujtojnë shumë shtëpi, por ky qytet i zënë është pikërisht ajo që unë kam nevojë për të marrë larg nga jeta ime e vogël e qytetit. Të ngasësh në anën e majtë është shumë e çuditshme, diçka që do të mësohej me të.

Kur hyra në parking vura re se shkolla është afër fundit të ditës, shpresoj të mos më pushojnë as para se të filloj. Shpejt duke dalë nga dera e zyrës, rregulloj qëndrimin dhe këmishën para se të shkoj në tavolinë dhe të pohoj se jam mësuesi i ri i shkencës. Gruaja buzëqesh para se t'i telefonojë dikujt, mendoj drejtori ose ndoshta një mësues tjetër.

Pas pritjes për rreth 2 minuta, dera e zyrës hapet me zë të lartë, një njeri i gjatë me flokë të trashë ngjyrë kafe dhe një shtat frikësues futet brenda, duke i dhënë një tundje të vogël gruas para se të më afrohet mua. Ngrihem dhe i jap dorën e ofruar.

"Përshëndetje, Unë jam Z. Curriagh ose Aric, jam këtu për t'ju shoqëruar në klasën tuaj."Zëri i tij ka një theks të trashë për të, diçka që do të më duhet të mësohem gjithashtu tani që kur jetoj në Skoci. Qëndrimi i tij frikësues duket se kontraston me buzëqeshjen miqësore që ofron ai.

"Gëzohem Që të njoha Ariç, Jam i Trishtuar."Unë me edukatë përgjigjem përpara se ai të më nxjerrë nga zyra dhe poshtë korridorit.

"Pra, ti je mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Ai shpreh kureshtje të vogël, duke vazhduar të lundrojë në sallat bosh.

"Po, çfarë mëson?"Unë vë në dyshim, duke ecur më shpejt për të mbajtur ritmin e tij të mprehtë.

"Oh mua? Unë gjithmonë kam qenë një person letërsie."Reagimi i tij bën që të duket një buzëqeshje e vogël, fakti se njerëzit këtu janë kaq të mirë dhe mikpritës është diçka që unë e adhuroj. Ne kemi ardhur në një ndalesë pas një tjetër momenti të ecjes.

"Epo, kjo është klasa jote, edhe pse erdhe pak vonë."Ai shpjegon ndërsa ne shohim studentët që paketojnë çantat e tyre. Nëse lëshoj një psherëtimë të qetë, sigurisht që do të më mungonte e gjithë dita e parë e punës sime.

"Mos u shqetësoni për humbjen e klasës tuaj, ju mund të vini për të ndihmuar me paraburgimin ose për të eksploruar terrenin."Ariç pohon se ndërsa ai hedh sytë nga dritarja tek unë, unë do të përgjigjem kur zilja të bjerë me zë të lartë, duke i bërë jehonë përmes sallave bosh përpara se dyert e klasës të hapen dhe studentët të dalin. Ne të dy qëndrojmë pranë dritares deri në klasën time të qetë përsëri, vetëm disa studentë qëndrojnë rreth, ndërsa disa janë vetëm duke përfunduar paketimin.

Ariç kthehet të më flasë përsëri kur shikimi i tij kthehet pas meje, britma e tij e papritur më befason, dhe shpejt kthehem të shoh fajtorin.

Një djalë i ri me flokë të errët ngjyrë kafe menjëherë ndalon, sytë e tij shkojnë gjerë nga të bërtiturat, krahun e tij shtrënguar mbi librin e tij të shtrënguar në gjoksin e tij.

"Arçer. Dënimi është në drejtimin tjetër."Ariç pohon ndërsa shkon tek studenti. Do të prisja që çdo student të ishte nervoz që të thirrej nga një mësues, por ky student, Arçer, u duk i tmerruar plotësisht.

Para Se Arçeri të mund të përgjigjet, Ariç fillon të flasë përsëri. "Kjo është hera e dytë që po përpiqesh të kapërcesh paraburgimin, Arçer."Duke dhënë një pushim të vogël ndërsa ai pret për një përgjigje, pasi nuk ka marrë asnjë, ai lëshoi një psherëtimë irritimi para se të deklaronte," Eja me Mua Arçer."Duke filluar të më kthehet pas, Arçer, duke ndjekur disa hapa prapa me sytë e tij të stërvitur në dysheme.

"Më vjen keq që e shkurtova turneun tuaj, por më duhet ta shoqëroj këtë student në paraburgim."Ariç thotë se ai shikon Prapa Arçerit.

"Mjaft mirë Ariç, të vjen keq nëse vij me ty? E humba ditën time të parë pas së gjithash."Unë pyes, duke i vështruar Arçer, sytë e tij nuk kanë lëvizur nga dyshemeja gjatë gjithë kohës. Ariç shkurtimisht e tund kokën para se të çojë në paraburgim. Unë shpejt ndjek, duke u përpjekur për të mbajtur lart, duke dëgjuar si Aric përshkruan pjesët e shkollës që ne kalojmë nëpër.

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Kush është ky person? A është ajo mësuesi i ri? Ajo tha se e humbi ditën e parë këtu, dhe mësuesi ynë i ri për shkencën nuk ishte në gjendje të vinte.

Ngre kokën lart, sytë e mi duke e parë atë për një moment dhe mendoj nëse duhet të pyes apo jo. Më në fund duke i dhënë kuriozitetit, pyes, "a jeni ju mësuesi i ri i shkencës?"Çështja ime duket se i tremb ata të dy nga biseda e tyre e vogël, Z. Currai tani i heshtur ndërsa pres reagimin e saj. Ajo kthehet tek unë dhe ofron një buzëqeshje miqësore para se të përgjigjet, "po, ky jam Unë, Ju mund të më thërrisni Znj Monroe."Reagimi i saj është i këndshëm por i shkurtër dhe zëri i saj u duk të lëkundej pak kur tha mbiemrin e saj, duke e bërë kokën time të përkulet kaq pak në konfuzion ndaj hezitimit të saj për të folur mbiemrin e saj.

"Gëzohem Që ju njoh Znj. Monro, unë quhem Arçer."Unë përgjigjem, zëri im duket më i sigurt dhe më i fortë se toni im normal, ndonse mezi e mendoj atë. Për çfarë kohe ka mbetur nga shëtitja deri në dënim, e kalova duke folur me Znj Monroe, nuk e di pse, por ajo dukej e lehtë për të folur me të, mund të kishte qenë nga qëndrimi dhe lartësia e saj jo frikësuese, ose ndoshta që ajo të më kujtonte nënën time, të dy të cilat janë të besueshme.

Po flisnim për librin që po mbaja kur Z.Currai u ndal, dhoma e paraburgimit mbahet përpara nesh. E kap dorën, e harroj menjëherë dëmtimin e dorës, derisa të çliroj një hungërimë dhimbje, menjëherë duke e tërhequr kyçin e dorës dhe duke e mbajtur në kraharor si agoni e ashpër që përmbyt sistemin tim, duke më kujtuar të djeshmen.

Z. Curraigh dhe Znj Monroe duken të tronditur nga shpërthimi im i papritur i dhimbjes, Znj Monroe është gati për të thënë diçka, por unë nuk kam kohë të mendoj, duke u penguar mbrapsht unë kthehem pak dhe iki. Unë shkoj në vendin e vetëm ku ndihem i sigurt, Pellgu I Bingamit, apo Pellgu I Mjellmave siç thoshte nëna ime; vetëm duke kujtuar se shkakton një valë ankthimi për të kaluar përmes trupit tim, të gjitha këto gjëra që vazhdojnë të ndodhin janë shumë dërrmuese. Në fillim humbas nënën dhe motrën në një aksident me makinë, pastaj njerku im(i cili tashmë nuk më pëlqeu) më fajëson mua për këtë, dhe tani kam një mësues që më kujton saktësisht nënën time, thjesht nuk e di se si duhet të ndjehem ose të përgjigjem për këto situata më. Jam kaq i zënë me këto mendime pjellore dhe dhimbje, saqë nuk i dëgjoj hapat që po më afrohen. Ishte dora e papritur në supin tim ajo që më bëri të gulçoja në prani të një personi tjetër. Shpejt po e kthej kokën, pres të shoh Z. Curraig ose ndoshta Alek, por në vend të kësaj jam takuar nga buzëqeshja e trishtuar E Znj Monroe ndërsa ajo strukej pranë meje. Duke kapur dorën e saj për kyçin tim të dorës, unë përkulem, por pas një sekonde tjetër e lejoj të shohë kyçin tim, duke injoruar pasojat e mundshme që ajo të dyshonte se si e kam duruar këtë plagë.

Ishte një zgjerim i vogël i syve të saj që më bëri të ndiqja vështrimin e saj, zgjodha të mos shikoja kurrë plagët e mia, kështu që pashë kyçin tim të fryrë dhe të nxirë sytë e mi për tu zgjeruar. Ajo prek lehtë kyçin tim të dorës dhe unë menjëherë largohem, dhimbja përvëluese në krahun tim. Ajo duket të ulet aty në një moment mendimi, sikur po mendon atë që duhet të thotë.

"Arçer. Si ndodhi kjo?"Ja ku ishte, e vetmja gjë që nuk doja të dëgjoja. E tund kokën dhe vështroj larg, vetëm tani e kuptoj se disa lot më ishin derdhur në fytyrë, duke i fshirë shpejt me dorën time të lirë. Nuk i përgjigjem refuzimit tim, kështu që vështrova Mbrapa, duke parë Edhe Znj Monroe duke mbajtur lotë, pse, nuk e di. Duke e dridhur kokën e saj, ajo e shtyn veten jashtë dyshemesë, dhe arrin një dorë për mua, të cilën unë ngadalë e marr. Tani duke qëndruar unë e pastroj veten me dorën time të mirë, duke mbajtur lirshëm çantën time të shpinës ndërsa pres pyetjet e saj.

E vetmja gjë që ajo bën është, që duket të tundë kokën për vete, para se të lëviz që unë ta ndjek atë. Ajo më çon në shkollë, kurrë nuk më flet dhe nuk më shikon, duke vështruar me ngulm, pothuajse bosh. Ajo më çon në dhomën e mjekësisë dhe më thotë të pres te dera ndërsa ajo largohet për të biseduar me një infermiere. Pyes veten se çfarë po thotë ajo, a dyshon ajo se njerku im i ka shkaktuar këto plagë? Apo mendon se një student tjetër ma bëri këtë? A duhet të vrapoj deri sa ende e kam shansin? Mendimet e mia befasohen teksa Edhe Znj. Monro dhe infermierja vijnë tek unë, nervozizmi im që shkelmon në një person tjetër që është i pranishëm.

U përpoqa të mos i kushtoja vëmendje ndezjes së dhimbjes ndërsa infermierja më mbështolli kyçin e dorës në një qese akulli, i ftohti i ftohtë që më bën të dridhem ndërsa moti jashtë ishte tashmë i ftohtë. Pas disa minutave të ngrirjes së dorës ajo sjell një fasho të ngjeshur, snuggly mbështjell kyçin tim dhe dorën, dhimbja është pakësuar, por mban një dhimbje të qëndrueshme që rrethon gjithë krahun tim. Kur mbaron më jep udhëzime për ditë, dhe një shënim për klasën që ishte dora ime e shkrimit.

Duke u futur tek dera, e pashë Znj. Monro duke pritur atje, buzëqeshja e saj miqësore u zëvendësua nga një pamje serioze dhe e ashpër, që i bën hapat e mia pak më ngurruese. Do të largohemi nga dhoma e mjekësisë dhe do të dalim në korridorin e qetë dhe të shkretë, fytyra e saj është ende serioze sa të ndalemi të dy.

"Si E gjete Atë Harkëtar plagosur?""Nuk ishte një çështje, por diçka që kërkoi një përgjigje, një të cilën isha jashtëzakonisht hezitues ta jepja. Duke e tundur fytyrën time larg saj unë tund kokën' jo ' përsëri, nuk dua t'i them të vërtetën, gjëmim mendor se do të shkaktojë më shumë dhimbje se të mirë, edhe nëse ajo do të më besonte mua askush tjetër nuk do ta bënte.

"Arçer, nëse nuk më thua, atëherë do më duhet t'i them zyrës të telefonojë babanë tënd."Pohon ajo, zëri i saj që humbet disa nga ashpërsia e saj ndërsa përpiqet të më bëjë të përgjigjem.

Duke dëgjuar thirrjen E saj Alek babai im i bën të gjitha këto ndjenja të shpërthejnë, zemërimi im po rrjedh lirisht, dhe unë nuk mund të ndihmoj por të reagoj kaotikisht, "AI NUK është BABAI im!"Bërtitja ime i bën jehonë korridorit, heshtja e lënë pas saj është e parehatshme, e gjithë ai besim i shtyrë nga inati lë shpejt trupin tim ndërsa nxjerr. Ajo nuk është budalla, ajo do të kuptoj se çfarë po ndodh, unë do të marrë larg nga shtëpia ime, vendi i fundit që më kujton mamanë dhe motrën time.

Qëndrimi i saj duket se u forcua pasi e dëgjoi përgjigjen time, unë vetëm mund të shpresoj se ajo nuk do të jetë e zemëruar me shpërthimin tim.

"Do të të pyes edhe një herë. Kush e bëri këtë."Zëri i saj ishte shumë i qetë, dënimi i dytë u shkëput ashpër dhe nuk la vend për justifikime. Më në fund përballem me të, edhe pse koka ime është ende e ulur, sytë i dridhen asaj aq shpesh sa mendoj se çfarë do të them.

"....Alek."Zëri im praktikisht pëshpërit, edhe pse e di që e dëgjoi dhe e di se dikush tjetër e di këtë sekret më bën të ndjehem... vulnerabël.