Reality - Tumblr Posts
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"
-Mark Twain
Maybe in another life, I am the richest of the rich. And parallel to that world, I’m the poorest of the poor. Maybe in another life, I would die in the arms of love. And parallel to that, I would die alone thinking of a future I don’t remember having. Yet for the love of God, I could not find one reason anywhere going against the truth that someone somewhere needed me to be born in this world. So I live.
A. D.
And look at you, my little bird. I have clipped your wings, and yet you are stretching them towards the sky. As if the thought alone could help you fly. But only reality keeps you firmly anchored to the ground.
HEAVEN FOREVER!!!!!!!!! INSTANT BUDDHAHOOD!!!!
need fat bug girls need chitinous exoskeleton plates swelling apart under the pressure of flab
Belief is often more important than truth. Our reality is shaped by our perceptions, and our perceptions in turn shaped by our reality. We are products of our own design.
“Power struggles seem to be omnipresent in every field of human endeavor, extending all the way up and down society. We assume that power has a certain reality. Apart from comic books, where Superman has the power to fly, the only power real human beings have is the power they think they have. You see that sometimes in the collapse of a society. Why did the Soviet Union fall? Because one day the Kremlin gave orders and the soldiers said no, and the whole thing fell apart. It’s a fundamental truth that I think Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. , hit on, that power depends on the obedience of the less powerful. A leader is powerful only when he says jump and people jump. He has no actual power to make them jump. It’s their belief that he has power. It’s an illusion, a shadow on the wall. And sometimes people stop jumping, and then the world changes.”
— George R.R. Martin (x)
We are not monsters
We are not drones
We are human
We are so much more !
- warren moten
Thoughts of the day
And there was only one thing I wanted to tell him: How much I was in love with him and that I wanted to be with with him no matter what. But I couldn’t . Too many times he had hurt me, had not told me what was in his heart, had dismissed me and replaced me as if I was a toy sitting in a corner waiting to be in the center of attention again. My self respect told me how much I’d be devastated if he’d disappoint me again. Was there a point in trying again? It feels like I am splitted up. On the one hand there's my brain and it’s fears were protesting and on the other I couldn’t help but wonder how deeply my feelings have ran after I’d finally let them in. A decision had to be made. But I knew I couldn’t possibly answer or trusting in the fact the fog would disappear that lurred my brain. For now there was nothing to do but wait. Only this time I was waiting for myself to become clear, not him.
I wonder what is behind a mirror could we pass through it? And escaped our reality?… oh god i wish i could
Je t'aime Paris 💋
ℜ𝔈𝔐 𝔤𝔦𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔰 🪐🌙
Math is the language of reality; numbers are like letters, while the many symbols used act as the punctuations that bring structure and help with context. From reality; consciousness; 3rd, 4th, 5th dimensions, and so on; to the quarks that make up only one of your 7*10²⁷ atoms in your body, this magnificent and complex language, math, is responsible for it all.
While you probably think of math as only the equations, it's not! It's the many patterns in life, it's the velocity of objects, it's the probabilities of everything and nothing at the same time. You are math. I am math. My home is math. The earth we stand on is math. Nothing is math, and everything is math.
It's truly a shame that I never realized how important and fascinating math was when I was still in school... The only reason I so favinated about math today is due to my conclusions about it that I discovered while being philosophical.
❀ Pansy n°7 = I'm "over"-everything.
To begin, yes, it is tiring. It’s impossibly tiring to be this prone to overwhelming.
It never was a secret that I am an overthinker. Like my brain literally never f*cking stops, always fuming and reeling. It caused me too many insomnias - the images, sounds, memories and information in my head running and distorting without break. It’s insufferable.
Yet, that's not all. Sadly it is also difficult to survive overthinking on a daily basis. Especially in a social environment. My brain is just… dying. The world feels and seems constantly against me. I always think that everyone around me is watching and judging my every move. Looking out for the small moments when I’ll mess up and be cringe.
So it’s difficult to allow myself to act as I want because I feel like I will be judged and hated either way, never belonging to the unity. Like I am bound to stand out, to be left out by the social group. To try and avoid that, my brain analyzes everything and everyone but often is irrational. Because I over analyze how people see me, what they might think or feel; but in the end I am just projecting my fears onto them way too much. Yet, I end up stuck, struggling to fit in, alone up in my head thinking I’m not interesting, weird, not worth anyone’s time and hated by everyone.
Nice right ? :)
My mind just tricks me to believe that I am the worst and cringiest person in the world. I have been told before that I question myself too much. In fact, I prefer to - and cannot help but - analyze every situation in which I could be the source of a problem before blaming the other party. I also try to find many excuses for others. Maybe I am too gullible and try too much to see the good in people, or that I’ve been used to caring for others before myself. The problem with this is that unconsciously I expect the same train of thought from others when most times it is not the case. Sadly, it ended up hurting me as it is easy for people to take advantage of my overthinking.
→ Toxic people (narcissistic perverts…) like to make you feel guilty - often through gaslighting - and overthinkers are the pros for that… :/
However, my cousin has been teaching me to find the positive side of those habits that I don’t like. And I came to the conclusion that this habit made me more observant and that when my worries are communicated it makes for good and deep conversations. Apparently it also makes people question themselves more - or so I’ve been told :/.
Therefore I try to be more kind to myself and calm my overthinking by communicating. It’s not easy everyday… But it is so important. As important as speaking about your feelings.
I’m still learning how good it is for oversensitive people like me. I’ve always struggled to speak up about my emotions because I always thought they didn’t have value or importance or even that I was being overdramatic, faking it. it was like I never had a good enough reason to express myself and make people lose time on me, like I’m not worth it.
So I always second guess myself and think about the true worth of communicating what’s bothering me. Because if it’s little and I’m just blowing it or that in the end it turns out I was tricking myself and faking it unconsciously, I’ll just feel ultra guilty of wasting someone’s time and energy. Especially as I strive to make people around me feel good, safe, heard and comfortable (with me). And I know I tend to blow things out of proportion. Like I feel horrible when someone makes a tiny and precise criticism about my work even though I did all the rest well. Because it’s like I disappoint them by not doing good enough.
The problem with me is that “good enough” has to be as close to “perfect” as possible. Simply because if I put energy in it I should go 100% and nail it. If it’s not the case then why waste time and embarrass myself ? Though I’ve been trying to understand - more to assimilate - that everyone’s 100% is different and even that every day’s 100% is different. And that’s completely okay and normal.
I’ve just been taught at school that you have to keep a high constant of activity even though it’s obviously not possible.
Disappointing people is one of my greatest fears. I think that might be why I take things too personally all the time. So many times I tear up when someone makes a remark to a group I belong to, and even if I shouldn’t feel concerned I question myself and feel horrible. “I should’ve thought of it.”“I should’ve done it.”“I didn’t do good.” I hardly let myself fail as I haven’t failed much. So I pressure myself to keep my high average by being the most excellent. Yet I can hardly hold on anymore… It’s logical that I end up burned out. I overdid it and now I'm over it.
I am over with life.
At least that is what I think a lot but I’m working on it. I am trying to be done with being over-pessimistic. It’s not over for me, and if it’s not for you either, dear reader… Then,...
Let’s get over it together <3.
✿❀✿
🔺Original work please do not steal or copy, Thanks.🔺
And then, just like that, we became strangers to each other.
4 a.m. thoughts, words better left unsaid
What I think I look like when I pose for a picture
v.s
How I actually look like
you know, i wanted to be more than this.
maybe it was the books. the fairytales, the happy endings,
i thought i would swim my way to gold and write myself into a new age, but
reality doesn’t work like that for everyone.
i’ve been told to reach for the stars
only as long as it’s economically advantageous,
so my dreams falter long before i break the atmosphere.
he says there’s no point in striving for the audacity of happiness
until the rest of life fits perfectly into cookie-cutter molds.
but that’s no reality either.
i thought by now i would be more than this,
this inhaling through the night
only to be starved of breath by noon,
the taking life a day, an hour, at a time
and holding on ‘til sunrise.
but maybe this is just reality.
~ @a-universe-of-almosts