Subdrop

Subdrop

For the multi-roll labeling purpose today I’m going to refer to it as Drop. Drop happens usually after an intense scene but can also happen after any scene if it was particularly pleasurable and draining. Drop is the result of your brain releasing “happy chemicals” and adrenaline in large doses during a scene and then your body and mental state going through a withdrawal essentially because they are not coming in at such high doses after the scene has ended. For subs it usually happens within a day or two of the scene. However, for doms it could be several days before it kicks in and really hits you. It’s especially bad for subs and doms with anxiety or self doubt. I will be covering both subdrop and domdrop today because they are both very real and could potentially be very dangerous.

Subdrop-

Subdrop tends to happen a day or two after a scene. It does not always happen but those no real way to guarantee it won’t happen so it’s good to keep an eye out for it any time. There are a lot of different ways it can show up. Let’s talk about the physical things first

- It can show up as feeling like a hangover

- like you stayed up too late (even if you got more than enough sleep)

- you could wake up feeling just off

- Drop can be associated with feelings of loneliness, mental and physical exhaustion, confusion, insecurity, tremors and many other physical symptoms.

Not so random fact: pain can make you tired. You’re going to feel it and it’s going to wear your energy down, and your body is going to be short on chemicals to give you a boost. This can make you crash and suddenly become exhausted, and being tired can make you emotional.

Honestly, the emotional side is the more dangerous half. Emotions can wreak havoc on our logic,you could be great one minute like normal, then suddenly you’re completely out of it and it can be mental torture.

- you could feel abandoned

- Depression(especially if you already have it on a daily basis)

- Even feeling unloved is common during subdrop.

Subdrop can not be prevented or avoided entirely. You can try but there’s no sure fire way to do so. Here’s how to help subdrop:

- If you can get to your dom and they can help you calm down and reassure you with cuddles and words that works fairly well for most people.

- COMMUNICATION( I really can not say that enough) Text or call your Dom as soon as possible.

- if you can’t get a hold of them, you need to stop and evaluate.

- Remind yourself that sub drop is normal

- remind yourself of what happened during and after the session.

- There should have been some type of aftercare, go back to that moment and stay there.

- Remember how loved you felt, hold on to the fact that your dom cares for you.

- Take your self to a happy place with happy and positive thoughts

If you’re feeling a little emotional, think of what makes you feel better when you’re sick (because you kind of are). A warm blanket, a bubble bath, candy, a favorite drink, music, etc. If you are someone who likes to journal, keep a notebook with you to write out how you feel to get the words out and down, this might also help you clear your head before you talk to your Dom.

Okay I know I was supposed to have this up a while ago but I had several things come up. I just recently got a new job and that’s been taking up a lot more of my free time which was sparse enough since I try to meet with my friends often. As you can see this only covers subdrop. I’m not confident in the level of research I’ve been able to do on domdrop and don’t want to give vague or incorrect information to you guys. I’ll try to get it done soon but no promises. I will also be at daughters of the moon which is a Wiccan event this weekend so contact and any sort of posting will be delayed until at least Monday. As always be good, stay safe, and have fun!

Self Care

Self care is so important for caregivers/doms and Littles/subs alike. It is important for doms because subs depend on you to take care of them and you can not do that without taking care of yourself first. Think of it like this, an empty battery can not power something else. You need to feel good to make sure they feel good. Subs need to care for themselves because you can not always count on a dom to be able to completely care for you especially if you don’t have one.

Dom selfcare.

- let yourself relax. Take a day to just give yourself a re charge

- Take a warm bath

- Jam out to music

- Make yourself a nice meal

- Order take out and laze around in sweats with Netflix or Hulu

- Take a mid day nap

- Binge your favorite show

- Talk to someone and just let out your frustration

Sub selfcare

- Drown in your headspace and let your problems float away.

- Cuddle with your stuffies

- Make a pillow fort

- Take a bubble bath

- Stay in your jammies all day

- Eat an okay amount of sweets and junk food(something not detrimental to your health)

- Color to your hearts content

- Dance around the house to music

Everyone needs to take the occasional personal day to work on themselves and recharge. No matter what helps you do that, it’s worth it if it helps to better yourself. You can not help others if you can’t help yourself.

I know this is shorter than usual but it’s something that I felt needed to be said. Until next time Be good, stay safe, and have fun!

Be safe little ones. I have yet to run into him and hope I never have to

CG/L IMPORTANT WARNING

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Pretty sure I’m going to make this an advice blog. I love helping people and sometimes having a third party opinion on things can really help. So ask away, either anonymously or through chat. Always happy to help ☺️.

Self Acceptance

Acceptance is different for many people. Sometimes it’s easy to accept yourself and your habits, wants, or needs. For others, it may not be so easy. I have never really thought of it before because I am one of those people where it comes very easily to me. However a few days ago someone needing my help came to me about a little space need not sitting well with them outside of their headspace even though they needed it to be happy and that’s what I’m explaining today.

*happiness

Happiness is something that most everyone desires, needs even to make it through their day to day life. However, if we stop our selves from being happy because what makes us happy is a little off putting then we are only making it worse for ourselves. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with wanting to be happy. It’s like having a favorite food combo that everyone finds weird or even you find weird and not enjoying it even though you know it tastes amazing. Happiness is not a crime.

*acceptance

Liking something out of the ordinary is not uncommon. Everyone has their own preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. again, as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with it. If you like that pacifier at Walmart, you buy that pacifier! You like the tea set at toys r us? I’ll write the tea party invitations for you! Diapers put you in your headspace? Diaper up and giggle away! My point is that even if you think your likes, hobbies, headspace activities, or anything else you like to do is out of the ordinary, just remember that if it makes you happy, relaxes you, de stresses you, or puts you in your headspace then there’s nothing wrong with it. Not even in the slightest.

That’s all for today. I hope this is a help to anyone who needs it. If you want help with anything specific or need to talk to someone my asks and inbox are always open day or night. Be good, stay safe, and have fun!

Rules!!

Rules are the basis for many cg/l and d/s relationships. They allow for an exchange of power and give the dominant or caregiver a way to help the little or submissive grow and learn as a person. I’ve met and talked to a lot of people that have trouble making a basic rule list that works for them weather it be the dominant or submissive making it. So this is my basic list. It’s all the rules I would usually include:

1. ready for bed (shower, brush teeth, pajamas, etc) by 9pm

2. In bed and asleep by 10pm

3. No bringing harm to yourself

4. No harming others unless in self defense

5. At least two good meals a day

6. Always tell me if you will be gone for long periods of time, why, and how long. (I will never control who you hang out with, just wanna know you're safe)

7. Absolutely NO drugs or alcohol unless prescribed by a doctor.

8. Always ask for sweets.

9. No sweets after 9pm

10. Refusing to do an AGREED UPON punishment will result in a worsened punishment. (This is not saying punishments can not be taken off limits or discussed. Your feelings come first in all of this. It just serves as a warning to do what you're told when you break a rule.

11. You will never hold back on how you feel about things like rules or punishments. This is for your safety and happiness

12. You are ALWAYS allowed to come to me with any problem, concern, or worry 24/7

13. Clean your room once a week

14. No getting in trouble at school

15. No junk food unless you ask first

16. No talking bad about yourself

17. No cussing

18. Talk to me at least once a day no matter what

19. Try your best in everything

Rules vary greatly from person to person. I believe rules should always be negotiable for the submissives saftey and happiness. Making compromises that suit you both is an essential part in making this work. ALWAYS keep a clear line of communication between you and your partner. I can speak from experience that ignoring a problem or leaving it to fester will only make it worse for the both of you. I hope this helps lovelies ☺️