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This moment you try to write at your fanfiction and your F** Roomate starts to scream like a howler monkey (he's singing with headphones on) each time you start your thinking process!!! I'm so happy once I got rid off him (my room get's renovated at the moment and I think about moving out anyway but I don't have the money for that and probably won't have in the future).

If you not interested in little bits like that in the future just block the hashtag: #dajazzrambles

Cold-blooded (BaizhuxReader)

Prompt: 'cuddle me already, damit'

--------------------------------------------------------------

Any other man you would not have believed a single word if he had come with this excuse. But the doctor was different. Yes, he also played his games, but such a thing was far below his dignity. Before you could answer, Baizhu took off his glove and put your hand on his arm. His skin was really freezing! If his body temperature was already so low, how was he able to move at all?

"I understand your reluctance and believe me when I tell you that I am anything but comfortable asking you to do this," his flame-colored eyes looked to the side in embarrassment. He seemed really uncomfortable.

Slowly you let your fingers slide down his arm, "Don't worry, I don't have a problem with it if it helps to keep you warm. But I am curious…"

His green eyebrow went up questioningly.

"Does your cold-bloodedness come from your illness, or?" you looked him straight in the eye and nodded slightly. Your counterpart understood immediately and covered his pretty mouth with his fingers before chuckling.

"My illness is actually making it worse, but no, my cold-bloodedness is part of my 'nature'. I usually combat it with a hot water bottle or a cherry stone pillow. However, I didn't expect it to start raining like this. That was careless of me. I must have been distracted."

You stopped his babbling with a hand gesture and smiled at him encouragingly, "Let's try it, but I warn you, I'm not good at keeping my body temperature myself, so I can't promise it will work."

"Don't worry! I didn't even expected you to comply with my brazen request," Baizhu waved his hands.

Chansheng had already nestled herself on one of the roof beams and watched the spectacle as each thunderclap elicited a small hiss from her. Her partner looked up at her with concern, "Are you sure you want to stay up there? I can make room for you in my first aid bag if you want."

The white snake didn't even have eyelids, but still seemed capable of a provocative facial expression. something that has always fascinated you.

"No thanksss. I'd like to be able to warp, after all, sshould you two have other plansss for keeping warm…"

"Changsheng!" now it was Baizhu who let out a low hiss and shook his head, " Y/N is the whole situation certainly awkward enough, it doesn't need your rash comments."

Your cheeks began to glow and you looked to the side, embarrassed. Actually, a comment of that kind was quite to be expected from this firecracker. Nevertheless, it caught you off guard.

Even more unprepared, however, was the thought that you wouldn't mind too much if there was 'more' that night. You quickly discarded the dirty idea before it could take a more precise form.

Even if such a thing were within the realm of possibility, Baizhu would never abuse your trust in such a way. He was not exactly known for his high caliber, but he was far from being that corrupt. Despite all the rumors, he still had his principles, especially in this area.

In general, he was extremely careful when it came to lust and love. He knew about his attraction and his good looks that made many people of all sexes fall into pining behind his back.

You were just one of many who had fallen for his charm and the mysterious aura around him.

With a shake of your head, you dispelled the thoughts and turned to your backpack. You didn't have anything to sleep in, but you had gotten used to bringing at least one set of change clothes with you when you worked with the pharmacist. It was very important to make a well-groomed impression during house calls and you never knew what the treatment would entail.

As you tried to shoo away the painful memory of your favorite blouse full of blood, you felt a light tap on your shoulder.

Turning around you looked directly into the two amber eyes, with the vertical pupils and the coquettish eye shadow. Your pulse inevitably quickened a bit.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom first?"

"You just go first… I'll ask when dinner is served." was your short-tempered answer, before you quickly walked out the door.

~A short while and a relativley quiet dinner later~

"Is there a side you prefer?", Baizhus eyed you closely, his senses attuned to regsitrating any hint of unwillingness on your part.

You're pretty nervous, but not so much that your boss is going to stop the whole thing.

"F/s," you say after thinking about it for the first time in your life. He seemed to want to make you as comfortable as possible. The pharmacist even emphasized that no physical contact was necessary, your body temperature would be evenly distributed under the blanket and that was enough for him not to cool down too much, which should speed up your departure the next day.

Changsheng on the beam had already left for the land of dreams a long time ago, which was only demostrated by the absence of her occasional tongue flick.

The two of you also lay down, careful to keep a respectable distance. Lying in a bed as boss and employee was wicked enough.

After a few hours, however, there was nothing left of the gap between you. The storm outside had brought with it a considerable chill. Instead of giving Baizhu some warmth, you both froze, which made you sleep closer to each other.

As Baizhu's body moved on its own in search of warmth, his hand on your hip woke you both up. The doctor was about to rattle off a series of apologies when you abruptly interrupted him.

"Cuddle me already, damn it," your demand was underlined by the chattering of your teeth. As much as some depraved part of you wanted those words to have an ambiguous meaning, it was the coldness that made you call out to him.

The green-haired one hesitated, but gave in after another blast of ice-cold wind and snuggled up to you, burying his face in your neck. You were freezing yourself, but compared to him, your body was lukewarm.

And he became steadily warmer. Now it was the bashfulness that made your body run hot. His figure was so close that you felt every single fiber that touched your body. His silky soft skin, which laid like cool satin on you. His long fingers wrapped securely around your side. His concise hip bone that pressed right into your back dimple. One of your most erogenous spots… In addition, his breath brushed in even strokes over your neck.

Behind you, Baizhu had already noticed how his presence made your body warm up. He had to pull himself together not to provoke you even more to be able to tap more heat from you in return. Restrained by the cold like that he wouldn't be able to do anything anyways. Not that he would...

He was not a saint, but he was not that vicious either.

The only thing he let himself do was to let his hand slide up and down your side once.

Even though everything in him screamed to constrict you and devour you in the most sinful ways...

Never ever feel ashamed for talking to animals or insects! I think there are way more people who talk to them than there are who don't. They are the minority! They are the odd ones…I'm sure of it >.< (friendly, comedy reminder of someone who talks to everything with a heartbeat..sometimes even plants)

Noooo not me doing the gardening and my neighbour overhearing me talking to the snails.

*dies of embarrassment*

Wait...you're completely right! Why wasn't I asking myself that when I watched that episode (≧∇≦)/? Like, Grelle hun, wtf?

somehow i feel like a shinigami should be able to tell what is and is not 1- alive, 2- human

Trying to fight the urge to use the opinion option in the next genshin opinion poll to ask to switch the baizhu/kaveh banner to 1 phase [if it would technically be possible]. I probably won't do it, but I want to... >_< we waited long enough...

15 min. till Baizhu and changsheng stream <3 <3 <3!!!! Let's manifest he's coming first half of the 3.6 update >.<

Baizhu Brain-cramp #5:

Baizhu made this move at least once in a sarcastic way with the words: "Morax, Ningguang, and the golden house." as a read to the back of somebody he fleeced.

Manifesting too, I don't want to be forced to pull for this beautiful snek doctor on my crappy phone in a ten minute break on the wing >_<

3.6 livestream this week... manifesting baizhu kaveh first half 🙏

Please let Baizhu be in the first half!! Please

T . T I won't have much time in the second half >_<. Don't be mean hoyoverse stay with your routine!

3.6 livestream this week... manifesting baizhu kaveh first half 🙏

His glowing eyes are soo mesmerizing O.O such a talented artist!

"His true intentions remain a mystery"

Brain-cramps #4:

Baizhu ripped off persistent child-support from the Fatui...!

He not only fleeced Childe. He literally swindeled him on multiple layers (probaly giving them in return only what he doesn't seem worthy to use in his own remedies anyway, but that's just a theory).

He's a genius...

Overworking (BaizhuxReader)

Prompt: 'Muse lands in your lap'

----------------------------------------------

It was a rough day for Bubu Pharmacy. The cold-season had started with three days of harsh weather changes. So there were even more patients in the Pharmacy than expected.

Gui did his best, taking care of every order and handling the smaller cases of barometric headaches and people who were known for 'overreacting'. Qiqi gathered herbs as fast as her little body could and was paid every time with a fresh bottle of coconut milk when you met her and took the ingredients from her before rushing back to the imposing building.

Baizhu did his best to diagnose everyone as fast as he could while also being thoroughly, asking patients to come back later if there's no improvement and bribing children way more generously with candy to get them to take their medicine without throwing a fit.

You worked yourself up the many stairs and stopped abruptly when you saw that there was no waiting line. Did something happen, or was this just the golden moment for a break before the next wave of customers boarded the Pharmacy? With fast steps, you walked inside and looked around before Baizhu noticed you with a gentle but forced smile:" Y/n! There you are. Just lay the herbs down over there and take a seat. I have a bad feeling that this wasn't all, but we should take a break together as long as we can." His hands still busy writing prescriptions while also sorting the herbs you just delivered.

"As long as you take a break too. I know you…" you said as you set down on one of the stools behind the counter, breathing heavily. The green haired Pharmacist waved his hand in a soothing motion at you and darts into the storeroom, out again into the entrance room checking some drawers before he walked back into his office. You just shook your head at him. Everyone in the Pharmacy knew about his weak constitution, and yet he seemed the only one acting absolutely oblivious to it. Especially now, with Changsheng being busy shedding her skin. Otherwise, she would give him a piece of her mind and be it in front of patients!

Gui came back with a tea-set in his hands and eyed carefully into the direction of the office, then at you. He put the tray down and armed himself for scolding his Boss, but before he could head into his direction the Doctor came out of his office already, paler than usual and walked past you before muttering:" I…I'm…alright…, just a sec…" before falling backwards.

"Xiangsheng!"

"Baizh...!"

You could just pull his body to you, so he landed in your lap instead of the hard floor. His head landed in the crook of your neck and you felt his slow breath.

Gui was about to help you to take his weight off you, but you shushed him kindly. Baizhu was alarmingly light, you thought, before putting your arm over his thighs to secure him further. Him fainting wasn't something too uncommon to the four of you, so you knew there was no need to panic as long as his breathing was normal, and he didn't hit something hard on his way down. You took a deep breath and checked his pulse. Everything 'normal'.

A few minutes past in silence. His assistant watched you shyly: "Say when he gets too heavy for you, I go get his medicine." And with that he walked into his Chef's office. As he was gone, the other man moved in your lap, lifted his head a bit before letting it fall back down. He had already woken up a few seconds after he had fainted.

"How embarassing..."

"That's the punishment for you not taking a break when needed, Doctor. It seems what they say is true: Doctors are the worst patients imaginable."

You pushed him closer to you. You didn't want him to see how red your cheeks were from him breathing into your neck constantly. And you didn't want him to run around again without taking a break! And maybe, just maybe, you liked the feeling of holding him in your lap like this…

"Make sure to slow down next time or I'll make sure you land face first in my lap! Did you hear me?!" your voice was a silent yell.

"Loud and clear, little Lotus." was his answer while he pushed his mouth close enough to your neck that his lips were brushing your skin with every word, making you blush even deeper than before. You wanted to scold him for it, but a high-pitched snarling intervened you two:

"Tell me your two are jussst making out!

Did he faint again?! Boneheaded fool!

Not one week you can handle yourssself alone!

How did you ssurvive this long without me?

And you two! I told you to put him in his place if he actsss up!

Where is this submisssive asssistant anyway?!

..."

My messages and comments are broken so using this as a way to DM you instead. :) Just wanted to say that I am SCREAMING (in a good way) about your Baizhu chapter. Absolutely LOVED elegantly slutty Baizhu!

AHHH! Thank you >.< I am happy you like it! By the way did you contact the support? Maybe they can help you out with this problem. I heard of asks going missing but never of that particular problem ^^"

Thirst trap (BaizhuxReader)

A little something so I stay in practice

----------------------------------------

The questions and remarks got riskier and riskier each time and while the green-haired man always gave you time and possibilities to withdraw or put a halt to this situation you simply couldn't. Each look into his mischievous glowing, amber eyes made you feel like you were the one dragging on the expensive pipe and not him. Sure you got your fair share of the stuff by inhaling it passively (something he pointed out to you while he asked if it was ok for you) but was it enough to make you that dizzy? And why made it you lascivious rather than anything else? They were just painkillers.

You simply put another stone somewhere on the board not even bothering to check if this snake already caught you in its coils again. The game became secondary a while ago. You were far more interested in the questions he had up his sleeve and in letting yourself drown in this ethereal sight he gave you. He came out of a lavish bath when he had the idea of playing Go with you and put his freshly washed, enormous mass of emerald green hair into a messy bun with individual strands falling down his shoulder onto a lavender robe that was rather carelessly thrown around his slim figure. Although anyone would just see a man that was beautiful by nature and didn't care too much about aesthetics for a simple board game between friends, your mind wandered to places that made your cheeks burn up like mad. For you, he looked like one of the ludicrous expensive ladies from the pearl galley who just bid farewell to a customer between rice paper walls before preparing for the next.

The longer you lingered on the thought, the more details you took in about the "disheveled" pharmacist. While everything about his look seemed nonchalant, his makeup was on fleek. His lips even were a few shades darker than usual and the wing of his eyeliner a little more daring. Every move of his was precisely timed and choreographed to show you "accidentally" certain body parts considered erotic by people with a refined taste.

You are in the middle of getting thirst trapped by the owner of the Bubu Pharmacy!

And you felt caught in more forms than one. Baizhus sinful charade began way earlier than you noticed and normally you were the person pulling off stunts like that. He gave you your own medicine to taste and you didn't even notice until it was way too late. Now this divine being had you far enough to ask anything from you and you would give it to him gratefully. Be it your soul, your body, or simply your money!

You shook your head and tried to catch up to what was happening around you at this moment looking your opponent straight into his eyes, who held a stone in his own color up between his long and slender fingers to show you that you gained a question for him. His fiery gaze flared up as he noticed that you finally caught up to his little game. He even scared you with a bold grin before he brought his facial features under control and put his angelic mask back on.

This was maybe your only chance to shake up his self-confidence a little and get at least a bit of the same fun he had on your costs. You opened your (f/c) lips and rephrased the question in your mind before letting it roll off your tongue while taking the stone out of his hand

“Admit it. Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

You caught him swallowing hard and drinking in how his vertical pupils retracted ever so slightly just before they dilated again, wider than before.

"You would like to know that, yes? Hmmm…", he playfully acted like he thought about his answer before he gave you a playful side glance then grabbed you by your collar and pulled you to him rather forcefully just stopping when his alluring lips were right next to your ear nearly brushing it: "Every single time since I got to know you, my Lotus."

With this he let his tongue flick along the shell of your ear slowly before he moved back to his previous position like nothing happened.

to be contiued....

--------------------------------- I just like the idea that Baizhu, since he's not able to have raw and rough nasty stuff or make-out sessions because of his frail body, tends to play all sorts of (consensual-ish) mind games with his "prey" for the thrill.

Also the reader can be seen as gender neutral but the continuation of this piece will be with a female Reader since that's what I'm most used to ^^"

since I'm in the mood for it, ask aways for your genshin fav.!

smut prompt list-

prompts from @sultrypotter

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“i love it when you moan my name”

“just a little harder”

“let me give you a reason to stay in bed”

“no panties?”

“i want you now”

“use your tongue”

“please don’t stop”

“i can’t sleep without you here”

“do you like that”

“you need a place to stay for the night”

“spend the night with me”

“you can get louder can’t you”

“look what you do to me”

“i want to taste you”

“open your mouth”

“if you want to come you better beg”

“that feels so good”

“don’t cum yet”

“strip. now”

“take off your clothes”

“bite me” ”if you insist”

“can you feel what your doing to me”

“this is a one time thing”

“tell me how you like it”

“get on your hands and knees, right now”

“i wanna fuck you right against the glass so everyone can see how good you take it”

“i just want to please you”

“each of my thoughts about you are improper”

“i love it when you kiss my neck”

“don’t be gentle”

“i’ve never want to fuck you more than i do now”

“you wanna have sex with me”

“you’re not going out dressed like that”

“i’m afraid i can no longer remain professional”

“make me”

“you’re mine”

“i love it when you talk dirty

“i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now”

“i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly”

“don’t give me that look”

“like what you see”

“stay quiet”

“i told you to stay still"

“i promise I’ll be good”

“just shut up and fuck me”

“you feels so good”

“i want you inside me”

“be a good girl and spread your legs”

“don’t worry i’ll take of you”

“don’t tempt me”

“i’ve never done this before”

“don’t be afraid it’s just me”

“you’re more than just a one night stand”

“don’t forget who you belong to”

“would you just shut up and kiss me already”

“try to stay quiet understand?”

“we’re in public you know”

“don’t be so rough there can’t be any marks”

“are you sure? once i start i don’t think i’m able to stop”

“no i’m supposed to make you feel good”

“stop teasing me so much”

“bed. now”

“first one to make noises loses”

“i love the way you look with my fingers inside you”

“i guess I’ll just get off all by myself”

“these walls are pretty thick which means you and i can be as loud as we want”

“did you touch your self while i was gone”

“we can’t do that here”

“if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god”

“tell me what you want”

“y-you’re not.... w-wearing anything under that are you”

“there is no way anyone is that innocent”

“you taste like fucking candy”

“the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh”

“you make a sound it’s game over”

“i haven’t even touched you and you’re already wet"

“want help with that”

“you’re so fucking hot when you’re made”

“we’re not just friends you know that”

“what? does that feel good”

“if we get caught i’m blaming you”

“we have to be quiet”

“you have no idea how much i want you

“if we weren’t in public right now i’d have my head between your legs”

“i’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guys name”

“i really want to kiss you right now”

“wanna fuck?”

“how do i look”

“if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”

“don’t fucking touch what is not yours”

“we’re.... just friends”

“friends don’t do this kind of shit”

“how quickly can you cum”

“think you can warm me up”

“touch me and you lose”

“there’s people here”

“i don’t care what you do just fuck me”

“guess i’ll have to cum inside you then”

“i don’t know what to do” “then let me teach you”

“we’ve been at it like rabbits and you’re still horny”

“use your mouth”

“show me”

“come and sit on my face and i’ll show you how much i missed you”

“i forgot my towel”

“you’re naked aren’t you”

“take it off slowly”

“your wish is my command”

“come to my room there’s this thing i wanna try”

“no one can ever find out about this”

“for your safety i’ll be gentle”

“are these handcuffs”

“i don’t feel like sleeping”

“what are you going to do about it”

“you won’t be getting any sleep tonight”

“why so shy?”

“don’t worry i’ll make you feel really good”

“you’re the one who aroused me so let’s have some fun”

“why don’t we move this to the bed”

“would you like to go somewhere a little private”

“these are so wet aren’t you going to remove them?”

“i was just about to wash up care to join”

“this feels dirty” “that's because it is”

“you feel amazing”

“don’t pretend to be so innocent”

“i want you to touch yourself”

“what has you so excited”

“i want you....here.... right now”

“bend over and spread your legs”

“i can’t hold back anymore”

“it’s been along day why don’t we help each other unwind”

“oh don’t mind me I’m just enjoying the view”

“your lips make me wonder what you taste like”

“i don’t like being told what to do unless i’m naked”

“you’re so sexy when you’re hot and bothered”

“i’ve been thinking about this night”

“don’t cover you’re face, i want to see you”

“you’re so beautiful all spread out like this... just for me”

“lay back”

“i bought a few pieces of lingerie. want me to model for you?”

“i can’t believe how wet you are already”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Baizhu headcanon #7:

Baizhu always has a hard time keeping his body temperature up and is forced to rely on warm things (sun, fire places, warm foods and drinks etc.) to help him out.

Being able to enjoy sorbet (or dairy free ice cream) for example, is a extremly rare luxury for him. Most of the time he is forced to let it melt before eating it cause it make him feel awfully cold. Albeit it tasting wastley different from it's frozen form he still grew fond of it.

Gathered every enemy drop, scroll and collectible item I need for our sexy snek doctor so far! Hope the leaks were right >.< now I only need a few crystal shards and the stuff that comes with the 3.6 release. Herb daddy gets pampered when he and miss Changsheng come home *.*!!!

I want snakes in my Serenitea pot!

First of all this situation looks as intimidating as ist looks adorable! And why can't I catch those sneks and put them in my serenitea pot?! Please, I want Bliblis in my garden >.<!

Here are the Photos from Windblume's breath 2023!

You all know the serenitea pot, where everything is at your decision (including weather, winddirection,daytime at least in lore) ?

I just imagine Baizhu getting a serenitea pot from madam ping as his own pocket-realm-terrarium where he can decide on everything according to his physical state and it just stays like that *.*

No scorching heatwave that makes him faint, no rainshower that terrorizes his weak immune system, no sudden pressure changes that split his brain in half (through migrane)

Can't wait to invite hime into my teapot! I would just imagine that I regulate everything to his needs so he has a saveheaven to rest >_<

Baizhu would be bad in bed

There is no way he lasts 5 minutes without panting like he had just run a marathon

is that not the desired outcome? to watch a man pant and groan and grow warm and sweaty as he exerts himself, stretching himself to the brink just for the mere chance of pleasing you? to hear him curse himself under his breath for falling so weak in your presence? to feel the whimpers vibrate in his throat as he presses his body into yours, collapsed on your chest and pleading so breathlessly in your ear for forgiveness? because he's too weak to resist you, but he just wants to make you feel even a sliver of the way he does? to watch the shame and guilt turn to awe in his eyes when you flip his fragile body over and get on top? to hear him get louder and louder still when you take over for him, giggling smugly in his ear about how sweet his voice is when all he can do is sob your name between gasps? to feel as though you're his god and you couldn't be more desired if you tried, because he sounds like he's drowning in worship but his expression is like he's lost in nirvana? to feel the sting of his nails biting into your hips as he drags them down, desperate not to ever let you go?

yeah its kinda weird calling his moveset simple and plain when…he’s literally and canonically more weak than fucking Qiqi, a dead kid.

yeah, there's like a lot of weird complaints around his moveset that is just kinda ehhhhhh not sitting right with me

i have seen other disabled fans say they want a flashier moveset, and i do agree that it would be nice to see him with more particle effects and a brighter Q screen with more pronounced mountains/details in general. (once again, i am only a single person within the disabled/chronically ill community so my opinion is probably not going to be shared with everyone). but other than that, i think his moveset is fantastic and fits his character perfectly. he was never a flashy character to begin with (compared to someone like kaveh), he was always subtle, and his moveset shows that perfectly. you've got the two fingers representing the acupuncture details, the rod of asclepius with his charged attack. and, from what i understand hoyo drew inspo from a certain style of martial arts (i've seen multiple styles of martial arts thrown around, please let me know if anyone knows which style it is!). also, as someone with similar conditions to him, i have to be precise in my actions to make it through the day to avoid burning myself out the next day. in my opinion, his moveset is really good character design, if anything i would only modify a few very minor details like i outlined above.

also, like, the people that are complaining about his damage... his kit is designed to be a healer/shielder support combo and from what i'm reading, he's a really good healer. not every character is designed to flex into a DPS position and crit 100k damage, and not every dendro character is designed to be a dendro applicator

and before anyone says "lol, you're just coping with his bad moveset", flashy attack animations are like, the last thing i'm worried about when it comes to characters. i'd rather have "boring" attack animations that fit a character's personality than big flashy that are completely uncharacteristic of them, even if they are a 5-star

Happy Birthday, Yaoyao!