I Am Going Through Some Of My Old Emails. I Think I've Started To Hate Him. Seeing Even Bits Of These

I am going through some of my old emails. I think I've started to hate him. Seeing even bits of these messages fills me with shame, which in turn causes anger.

How dare he make me feel that shitty about myself?!

Him: YOU ARE SUCH A STUPID LAZY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LET YOU BE HERE? I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES. THIS PLACE IS SO FUCKING FILTHY. I CAN'T EVEN INVITE SOMEONE OVER. IT'S EMBARRASSING. JUST BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN FILTH WITH YOUR FUCKING PARENTS DOESN'T MEAN YOU STAY THAT WAY. I KEEP FUCKING TRYING TO FIX YOU BUT YOU'RE SO FUCKING USELESS AND HOPELESS.

Me: *quietly tends to the plate and glass in the sink that spawned this outburst*

Him: *glaring at me*

Me: *makes eye contact quickly to reassure him that I am not ignoring him (because he really REALLY doesn't like that) but not long enough to encourage a smack to the face or more yelling*

Him: what?

Me: *smiles and shakes head*

Him: What? You don't want to talk to me? Fine. Fuck this. *Goes to the basement to play games for 6 hours*

Me: *exhales silently*

I never thought I'd have to write a post like this, but here we are.

If your "feminism" excludes anyone or your definition of woman is reduced to a series of dna check marks, we're not like-minded.

I'm not interested in discourse and I will shut that down if it begins. So y'all can keep it to yourself.

But if you're using any of my posts to make a point even in that ball park, you're barking up the wrong tree. And i will tell you so - the politeness of which will vary depending on the kind of day I'm having and the severity of your infraction.

Just something to think about before you hit reblog.

Still

Fifteen years later.  I don’t really remember who I was before I met him.  

Deja-vu

Yesterday I got reamed out by my boss for doing what he asked me to do. It's very familiar.

I gave them until October 25. I was too generous.