Prompt 37

Prompt 37

The second of two prompts I'm giving y'all today since the wifi went out and I couldn't give you one last night! Eat up! A retelling of Jack and The Beanstalk but with Jaskier and Geralt My friend enjoyed the idea of Giant Jaskier, to quote, "add some spice", but I do worry about how his music would probably be painful if he were that big and loud, and we don't need any more jaskier's music hate (cough cough twn) BUT THEN i got to thinking that perhaps that could be something they FIX So either Jaskier, broke as dirt, blabla magic beans (or perhaps he just comes across a beanstalk), he climbs up and meets a bunch of giant witcher men. OR Geralt gets an odd contract to kill a "giant", for it makes horrific noises every moment of the day. Only when Geralt finds him, he finds an oversized bard who seems completely harmless, and lonely at the most. The giant begs him to help him find a cure for his size, a way to be small like the others, so that his music will no longer annoy or hurt the townspeople's ears, and instead will be enjoyed. To make it all the more complicated, even though he's humongous, the giant is terrified of seemingly everything, and screams and fumbles and flails any time Geralt has to go on a hunt, or has to protect them from the wildlife.

Prompt 45

Jaskier's breath races, and his heart hammers away at a quicker pace than Geralt's ever heard from the bard. Jaskier tries to mutter something about talking to the others and getting their stories, only to stumble in place. Geralt furrows his eyebrows and walks closer, just in time to catch Jaskier as he faints. Geralt rides him to a healer, regretting the whole mountain business already, but even moreso when he learns that the affliction that caused Jaskier to drop was called 'Broken Heart Syndrome.' How can he make it up to his beloved bard?

Prompt 40

In a modern world, Geralt has been chatting online with a man named "Dandelion" for about four weeks now. They finally worked up the mutual courage to go out for a date... I R L... (shocked gasps from the imaginary audience)

Only, Geralt has been sat alone at the restaurant they agreed upon for about an hour and a half now. All his messages to Dandelion have been ignored. He doesn't want to hope something bad happened to him, but he also doesn't want to hope the man is fine and just decided to blow off Geralt and their date. But then he finally gets a call from Dandelion. "Hi! Geralt! Geralt, Right? I hit the right number? Listen- Um- I locked my keys in the car. I know it sounds like an excuse but it isn't! And the car fixer men can't come until tomorrow, so I was just going to hire an uber, but I can't find my wallet, and I doubt I have the money for it, for see, my darling white wolf, I may have splurged all my money on quite a lovely bouquet to bring you- Um- It's on my kitchen table-" (the sounds of a man clambering and stumbling through his own apartment) "-And so i was going to do the very embarrassing act of asking you to pay for my uber, even though you were already generous enough to offer to pay for the entire meal, and so I decided I'd think on it and try and find my wallet again after my shower, but see then I fell in the shower, and I- Well, to be honest, I think I might have broken my arm, um- I think I need a raincheck? And can I borrow money for an uber to the hospital? I'll pay it back, I swear!" Long story short, Geralt's first date with this 'Dandelion' guy he's had a massive crush on for weeks, is driving him to the hospital and checking him in. The worst part of it all is that Jaskier (Dandelion's real name*) is so charming, that Geralt can't even be upset about the whole situation. *Geralt soon learns that "Julian" is Jaskier's 'real' real name, when he ends up helping Jaskier write out his medical forms, but this is all just semantics.

Prompt 41

A mage (yes I know I love making mage villains of the week, but if they didn't want me to make them all the time, they shouldn't be so fun and full of opportunities) puts a spell on Geralt while he's on a hunt. He can only speak lies / the complete opposite of what he feels or means to say, and the only way to break the spell is to reveal his darkest secret. This is all well and good and easily fixable, presumably. The best part is Jaskier has caught on near immediately to what the curse is, and is able to translate all of Geralt's lies and antonyms. "I don't need more supplies for potions." "We'll go looking for a greenhouse or whatever you need, then." "I hate this song." "Why thank you, Geralt! How lovely to know that opinion is a lie!" "Can I braid your hair again?" "Never." "Perfect!~" Except for the times he pretends to forget the curse's existence. "Feed Roach all the apples you want." "Oh, I shall! Thank you for the permission!" He did not give permission. Geralt just deals with the curse for a month or two, before being fed up and deciding to just trust the mage's so-called cure for the curse, and says his darkest secret. That he's in love with Jaskier. However, he's neglected to find a way to explain the cure to Jaskier, and now Jaskier just assumes he's heard another lie / complete opposite. Jaskier is heartbroken, assuming Geralt must dislike him at the least, and hate him at the worst, and suddenly all those teasing comments over the years are seen in a new worrying light. I mean, Geralt, cursed to say the exact opposite of what he means telling Jaskier that he loves him? Jaskier races away from their shared room and gets absolutely wasted in a tavern all the way across town. Geralt paces and panics alone in their shared room for a few hours before going and returning his bard back home. He now has to spend the entire night internally-writing and rehearsing his big explanation speech and apologize to his bard for the miscommunication.

Prompt 42

Call Jaskier a fool, but he's fallen in love with a witcher. As a merman. But despite what all his peers tell him, he wholeheartedly believes the witcher would never hurt a merman, let alone one as harmless as Jaskier! They'll make great friends! And even better lovers! Hopefully! So when Jaskier learns the witcher is camping not far from a river, Jaskier literally jumps at the chance to get close to finally meet the man he's admired from afar for so long. Only problem is that the river is muddy in some parts, and in other parts thinner and more shallow than he thought, and though he loathes to admit it, he does get stuck. He's beached. He hasn't even met his witcher and he's BEACHED! BEACHED! AND HE'S NOT EVEN ON A BEACH! He's tied between being horrified he's dying alone, and being thankful nobody is seeing the embarrassing way he's leaving this world. He's not getting nearly enough water into his gills, and the sun is merciless. It's been nearly two days since he first got stuck. His eyesight is blurring and all he can hear is his own breathing. But then he's suddenly hefted up into arms and being carried away, and he can't even worry about who has found him, because he's finally drifted off into a (sadly very dry) slumber. He wakes up to find himself in a small pond, just barely big enough for him to swim a lap, and that was pretty much it. Clearly for healing and not long-term stay. But it was big enough to live. The gills on his sides near his ribs are fully submerged in the water, and he belatedly notices that water is being repeatedly poured on the gills on his neck. He turns to look at what is dripping on him, and finds it to be a waterskin. His witcher found him! His witcher found him, and is filling up his waterskin with the pond's water and pouring it on Jaskier's fills repeatedly. He's caring for him! Oh, how Jaskier's heart is singing! Jaskier tries to talk to him only to cough and let out a weak chirp noise. The witcher shushes him and warns Jaskier that he was in a very bad way and that it'd be best for him to rest for now. Jaskier decides not to take his advice, and instead stays up to stare at his witcher and chirp at him. One time when Geralt pours the water over the mer's gills, he reaches his head up to bump at Geralt's hand until Geralt allows the Mer to limply nuzzle his wrist. It's a tad annoying that this mer Geralt saved is so relentlessly determined to shower him with affection, but after a few days of the attention, Geralt submits to the routine. It only gets more intimate when the Mer regains speech and now keep asking Geralt things about himself and showering him with compliments. Geralt learns about the merman, and grows attached, he admits, but he can't keep care of a mer. He has to continue on The Path and the Mer cannot follow. So one day, he picks up Jaskier, brings him back to the ocean, and sets him free. Four times. It takes four times before Jaskier stops trying to beach himself to follow. Geralt is miserable without his little merman companion, but he knows it's for the best. That is, until a few months lather, when he hears word of a merman being captured nearby and he knows deep down it's his merman. I don't know if Jaskier is captured by poachers intent on killing or harming him or if he's been captured by some sort of circus/freakshow but I DO know that Jaskier got captured because he started recklessly talking to any and all humans asking for anyone who knows how to turn him human (so he can be with his witcher)

Prompt 50

`An alternate universe where everything is much the same, except Jaskier has D&D-style bardic magic, and is more than capable of joining Geralt on easier contracts, using his magic to boost Geralt's abilities almost as good as some of his potions.