Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Incorrect Quotes Shenanigans: Part 11

Raph: Yeah I'm LGBT. Raph: cuLt leader. Raph: God hates me personally. Raph: cowBoy hat. Raph: *sniffles* Trying my best.

~

Donnie: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- April: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

~

Leo: Look at the buns on that guy! Hueso: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Mikey: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Leo: I'm not going back to jail!

~

Casey II, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Splinter: Gray. Cassandra: Grey. Casey II, turning to Draxum: Now tell them what color you think it is. Draxum: Dark white.

~

Repo: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Hypno. The Squad: *screaming* Ghost Bear: He looks like Hypno? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Warren: Hypno, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Ghost Bear: Hypno? Hypno? Hypno? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Albearto!

~

Bullhop: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke. Honey Badger: Okay, but what is updog? Groundhog: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish. Prairie Dog: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released. Todd: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden. Sunita: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter. Bullhop: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs. Prairie Dog: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current. Groundhog: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway. Honey Badger: What’s a henway?? Bullhop: Oh, about five pounds.

~

Leo: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Donnie: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Leo: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Donnie: You take that back!!! Leo: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Uncertainty and Limbo

Now it's Leo's turn.

~

Underneath the streets of New York City, tension stirs. A battle is about to commence. The stakes are high. Only one victor may emerge, and they alone will lay claim to glory.

It's game night.

Leonardo sits in the lair's common area with Raphael, April, and Donatello as they wait for the final two participants to arrive. They had organized this event so April could properly meet Regiomontanus, a new turtle mutant the brothers encountered two weeks prior. Gio has been visiting the lair frequently to partake in experiments with Donnie; even though they end up spending the majority of their time in Donnie's lab, they still interact with the others with some recurrence. Truth be told, though, Leo isn't the biggest fan of them. He actually happens to be stewing about it right now.

I just don't get it, the red-eared slider ponders. I mean, yeah, it's a given that Mr. Science loves them--new mutant, loads of new experiments--but enough to consider them a new sibling? I get Mikey doing that. He's always been a little mushy like that. But DONNIE? Why does he trust them so much?! Even Raph doesn't really seem suspicious of them! They just show up out of the blue, and in like a week, everyone's all over them! This can't end well. He inhales to clear his mind, then continues his train of thought. Look, I'll give them a chance with game night. That's the least I can do. But I just don't know if I can really be all buddy-buddy with them like everyone else seems to be.

As if on cue, Michelangelo runs into the room, dragging Gio along by the wrist. Nestled in the sea turtle's arms are a clumsy stack of seven boxes, presumably home to board games. The two stop, and an out-of-breath Gio immediately collapses onto the floor.

"Never...do that...again..." they manage to wheeze between breaths.

"Aww, c'mon, Gio," Mikey groans as he places his hands on his hips. "I think you just need to get more exercise."

"Yeah... I know..." They sit up after a moment, then carefully organize their boxes into a neat tower. Immediately intrigued, Donnie proceeds to examine this tower.

"Hmm... Pandemic, and Villainous. Lots of Villainous. You must really like that one."

"Yeah. I...I do. I think I have enough expansion packs for us to hypothetically play with twenty-one players," Gio responds with a slightly sheepish grin.

"...Good Galileo, that's enough for us and our rogues gallery of villains, with players to spare."

"I'm sorry, your what?"

"...Ah, shell."

Raph takes this opportunity to interject. "Donnie, language. What he means, Gio, is...um... There...are a lot of people who have it out for us. Yeah. And even though they can be awful to us, we're always able to put them in their place--just like superheroes and villains."

"O...kaaaaaay...?"

"Yeah. So don't worry about it." The snapping turtle gives a thumbs-up and a toothy grin for emphasis.

A moment of awkward silence passes, which Gio breaks with equal awkwardness. "So... Uh... What are we gonna play first, anyway? I know I brought lots of stuff, but we don't only have to play my games. What do you guys have?"

"Actually," Leo replies, "I'm kind of interested in this Pandemic game you've got. What do you guys think?"

The others agree with varying levels of enthusiasm. Gio smiles. "Well, then, it's settled. I'll start setting everything up...but I might need help shuffling the cards. I'm kind of garbage at it."

"I'll help with that," says April. "I mean, having five fingers instead of three is probably good for this kind of thing."

"Yeah, that's true... Thanks."

Five minutes pass, and the board is prepared. All that's left is for the players to pick their roles. Gio mixes around the seven role cards, gathers them into one pile, and passes them leftward to Raph. The cards then go to April, then Donnie, then Mikey, then Leo, and finally back to Gio.

"Huh. Researcher. This should be interesting," Raph remarks.

"Alright, Dispatcher! I was made for this kind of role!" April exclaims.

Donnie smirks haughtily. "Scientist. How could it be anything else?"

"Ooh, Medic!" Mikey gasps as he realizes, "And the little piece is orange!!!"

Leo can't help but snark, "Quarantine Specialist? So I just yell at people to stay inside?"

"Gah, Contingency Planner... I'll...do my best, I guess," Gio says with resignation. "Alright, let's see who has the highest population on one of their city cards, and then we can begin."

The game begins smoothly, but tension bubbles to the surface as the group races to cure the fictional diseases plaguing the board. By the time three of the diseases have been cured, an argument is underway.

"No, Leo, you don't understand," Gio moans as they press their fingers to their temples. "If you don't stay there, then there's going to be a chain outbreak between Kinshasa and Khartoum, and then we all lose." "Okay, but if I do stay here," Leo counters, "then we aren't going to cure Yellow in time, and then we all lose. Why didn't you grab that Silent Night card on your last turn? We wouldn't be in this mess if you'd just done that!"

"Because I can only do that once for each event card! Once we use it again, it's completely out of the game!"

"Well, gee, I didn't know that! You don't need to yell at me!"

"Well, you don't need to yell at me!"

"Uh, guys--" Mikey tries to interrupt. Unfortunately, his attempt falls on deaf ears.

"Uh, yeah, I do," Leo retorts as he clenches his fists, "because you haven't listened to a single one of my suggestions this entire game!!"

"The point of the game is to listen to everyone's ideas!"

"Well, it sure seems like you're the one calling all the shots!"

"Only with everyone's agreement!"

"Not mine."

"...What? Weren't you on board with a lot of those plans--?!"

"I'm not just talking about the game here. I may not have said anything about it back then, but I never agreed to 'adopt' you. I never agreed to let you so close to our inner circle. I never agreed to be ordered around by you. And I may have encouraged you to change your name, but Gio? Really? Did your nickname have to rhyme with mine?"

Gio, taken aback, struggles to respond. "I...didn't.... I didn't know you...you...felt that way..."

"Well, I do. Mikey should've at least asked me how I felt about the whole thing. People have acted nice to us in the past, only to turn out to be dangerous. If you were--if you are--like them, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I'd feel so, so guilty about letting someone like that get close to my brothers. I don't care what kind of interrogation Donnie might have given you; I can't take any chances. I need to know what you're really like, and what you really want from us."

At this point, the entire group has gone completely silent. All eyes are on Gio.

"...I feel like...no matter what I say, you won't believe me. And I get it. I've only been around for a couple weeks, and if those people are really as dangerous as you're making them out to be, then yeah. You've got every right to be suspicious. But I promise that all I really want is to be your friend. I think the whole 'adoption' thing is a nice gesture, but if you don't think of me as a sibling, that's okay. I...I get it." Gio, despite clearly being disappointed and hurt, does their best to maintain their composure.

Leo's expression softens slightly, and he sighs. "I won't stop the others from 'adopting' you. Heck, I may even get on board with it someday. Just don't push it, okay?"

Gio nods.

With renewed determination, Leo returns to the table. "Alright, then let's get back to this game and figure out what we're gonna do about Yellow."

"You guys go on," Gio says. "I need a minute." The sea turtle gives a thin smile, then quickly walks out of the room.

Leo grimaces, hiding his face in his hands. Great. You really beefed this one, he can't help but think. Maybe I should go talk it out with them some more.

He looks back up, only to find that Raph has already beaten him to the punch.

I've been playing a lot of Plague Inc. lately, and my new Leo figure tends to be my "buddy" when I'm playing since he's in his bug-busting suit. I can't believe I didn't think of drawing something like this earlier.

gonna swing a bat at a hornet's nest and say autism as a whole is not destigmatized, tiktok autism is

Okay, so I know that literally none of you care, but I'm retconning Gio's accent color. It was turquoise, but now it's going to be violet. Why?

Complementary colors, that's why.

Their skin is chartreuse, which I have taken to mean as the exact midpoint between yellow and green. This is #7FFF00 in hex color codes (thanks, Wikipedia). Its complementary color is #8000FF, the hex code for violet. I couldn't pass it up.

Don't worry, Donnie. I'm not stealing your purple. Violet's bluer than purple (#800080 according to Wikipedia).

Comfort and Fun

The wheel has spoken. Raph is next.

~

Pandemic is a cooperative board game. It is designed to make players work together to face the problems arranged before them. Given the nature of cooperative board games, though, this doesn't always work. Sometimes, it's just a matter of the group being conflicted over what steps to take. In other cases, an "alpha" will emerge and attempt to steer the entire game in their vision. Things can get ugly if there are multiple of these strong personalities in the group.

Things got ugly between Regiomontanus and Leonardo.

It started with a simple disagreement about how to handle the final troublesome disease on the board. It ended with Leo revealing some deep-seated feelings about Gio's presence, and Gio leaving the room. Desperately wanting to prevent the situation from worsening, Raphael has taken it upon himself to follow and check on Gio.

Raph finds the sea turtle in a hallway just outside the lair's common area, curled up against the wall. He creeps just a bit closer and hears them quietly crying. His heart sinks. He discards his stealthy approach and approaches them outright.

"Hey, Gio," he says gently. "Can I sit with you?"

"Why?" they ask between sobs. "I...I ruined game night. Why do you even want to be around me...?"

"No, no! You haven't ruined anything!" the snapping turtle asserts as he sits beside his distressed companion. "It's just one game. We've got time for more. I bet it'll all blow over soon."

"I dunno... You heard what Leo said. Those feelings don't just 'blow over.' It sounds like he...he really doesn't think he can trust me. I didn't do anything wrong, did I...?"

"Not that I know of. But maybe it'll help for you to know exactly where he's coming from. Remember what we were saying about those people who have deceived and tried to attack us before?"

"Yeah..."

"And what Donnie said about our 'rogues gallery of villains?'"

"...Yeah...?"

"...These...aren't your run-of-the-mill thugs. They're mostly mutants like us...and some yōkai, but either way, they have extremely dangerous powers."

"Wait, like, actual yōkai?"

Raph nods. "Some of them have seriously hurt us, too. One of them--a spider yōkai lady--even turned all of New York into a battle arena and made us fight for our lives in there."

"...W...what? Why wasn't that on, like, national news?!"

"It's a long story. We'll tell you some other time. But the point is, that's what we mean by 'dangerous people.' That's what Leo means by 'people we shouldn't trust.'"

Gio goes silent for a minute, staring at the wall ahead as they try to process the information that Raph just relayed to them. For a solid thirty seconds, all they can think is, Well, heck. No wonder he got like that with me.

When their train of thought finally resumes, they ask feebly, "So I guess you guys have been through a lot...huh...?"

"Yeah," Raph confirms. "...Especially Leo."

"Ah, geez..." Gio can't help but start crying again. "I had no idea... I shouldn't have snapped at him...! Why'd I have to go and ruin everything...?!"

"Hey, no...!" Raph softly places one of his hands on their shoulder. "Stuff happens, okay? I know I've gotten into some nasty fights with the others... But then, once everything's cooled down, we talk it out, and that helps. It isn't always perfect, but it still helps. Maybe you and Leo can talk your stuff out later, in a less 'heat of the moment argument' kind of way."

Gio gives a small smile. "Yeah... That...that might work... ...Thank you..."

"Aww, no problem! Now, whaddya say we get back to playing some games, huh?"

"In...in a minute. I don't want to go in there looking like...this," the sea turtle says, gesturing to their tear-streaked face.

"That's okay. Take your time. I'll stay right here with you until you're ready to go back."

"Y-you don't have to..."

"It's fine, really! I don't want you to be all alone when you're feeling crummy like this...unless you wanna be alone--"

"No, it's okay. You can stay."

Raph smiles, and the two sit together in silence for a couple minutes. Gio eventually regains their composure, but they comment, "I should at least apologize to Leo before I go back in..."

"No need," an outside voice interjects.

Gio and Raph both snap their heads in the direction of the voice, only to find a certain slider leaning against the doorway. "LEO?!"

"H-how long have you been there?!" Gio sputters.

"Long enough," Leo replies nonchalantly. With a bit more formality, he adds, "I...actually came over to apologize to you. I shouldn't have gotten so worked up... You haven't made any moves on us since we met. There wasn't any reason for me to be so paranoid about you."

"No, no, it's okay...! If they're all like that spider lady, I totally get it! I'd be scared of everyone! ...And in retrospect, I was kinda taking over the game; I just get really into strategizing like that... I'm sorry about that, too..."

"...Raph, you told them about Big Mama?"

Raph stands up and folds his arms. "She was the first example that came to mind, okay? And...if Gio's gonna keep hanging around with us...they have to know everything about us sometime, right?"

"...I...guess I see where you're coming from...but that can wait. It's game time. You still in?" Leo asks with his characteristic smirk.

Gio stands up and turns to face him. "Yeah. I am."

"Great! Then vamanos, hermanos."

"Wait, 'hermanos?' But you said--!"

"A guy can change his mind, can't he?"

Gio pauses, then smiles. "Yeah. He can."