it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
Time Waits For No One. Learn To Treasure Every Moment.
Time waits for no one. Learn to treasure every moment.
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
I want a boyfriend!
Believe it or not this has been floating on my mind this past few weeks... Sad to say but i can't deny the fact that this has been bothering me lately. I think i am being too sensitive when it comes to conversations about falling in love and heartaches. I feel stupid too coz i don't really know why i am suddenly behaving like this. I mean i know i tend to have a lot of crushes way back when i was in high school. But now that i am older, i don't understand myself for wanting to have a boyfriend. Is it coz of peer pressure? Loneliness?? Family/ relatives and close friends always asking about my love life?? Really, it upsets me that there was a certain point in my life where i felt so unwanted. And now i am scared that no one will like me. No one will bother to notice me nor care about whether i am in love or not. I have been so conscious of myself since then. I avoid people's stares as much as i can. I try not to chat with them. But then i realized how am i gonna fit in outside my own little world if i lock myself up on my own... I better work my way out of my shell and learn what is out there. I need to have a taste of the harsh reality and what the society can offer... Yes, i am worried that i might regret it later but i am more worried of not being able to experience falling in love with someone (unexpectedly) and making more connections with other human beings. I just have to have faith in myself, in GOD and in the people of our society. Love, love, love... when are you going to find me? I am running out of time. I am patient but there's also a limit for it. Please let me meet "him" soon :|
What?!
Sometimes i don't really know what i want. I would usually just go with the flow... Or follow whatever the people around me tell me to do. But sometimes i wonder what my life would be like if i decide on my own. What kind of person i would be like if i am in control of my life. How different the treatment i will get from the people around me... I must be crazy thinking things like this... I believe i need to sit down and have a serious talk with someone. Maybe i do need it so i'll be enlightened and get courage to face reality. Coz yknow what?? I am in the point of my life where running from reality is a bad idea. It just makes me weak and useless. Oh my! I definitely need to know what i really want now. And to focus on myself, work diligently towards my future and hopefully get that prize in the end of my journey... These challenges in the path i chose to travel in are killing me little by little but i hafta endure it. I have to! I can do this! FIGHTING!!!
tell me this is happening because it is not the right time yet...
i thought this is it again. but what the fuck am i thinking?!? of course this will not be possible. not gonna happen, not even a bit.
it's crazy coz i can easily see how amazing and entertaining you are with just a glance and then without me fully realizing it, i'm already falling in love with you.
am i really that stupid? am i really that shallow? when am i going to stop acting like a high school kid? UGH! i hate myself being like this. it hurts me more coz i know there's not even a chance for us. it's just always me and my one-sided love... *sigh*
Crying at 4:30 in the morning.
I'm not sure why but somehow i felt good while crying. Maybe coz I can't see anything. Just the darkness filling the room. Or maybe cause i felt like the same person i was back then? I felt i was the old me. I felt like a human again that is allowed to cry and not told to not to be weak and small at any circumstances. Or perhaps because no one's around to hear my sobs and witness my weakness?... I am definitely feeling lonely and disappointed. Like no one cares about me and they just want to ignore me like i don't exist. I guess this is how my life is. I just hafta accept it. I just hope i'll be stronger so i can carry on & live my life the right way. I wasn't sad coz i cried or coz i was weak. I cried coz i was alone and no one cares to show how i am loved and how they appreciate my existence. Oh and wanna know another sad part of it? The after effect. I had a bad headache but it didn't last that long which is good. Aja! I need to start this day with a smile. It may be a forced one but i bet it's better than showing a frown and making other people show some pity at me...