Begin Again

Begin Again

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Prompt - ‘In a cafe, I watched it begin again.’

Dating Derek Morgan was...it was completely refreshing honestly. Never had a man treated you as well as he did, never made you feel so confident, so happy. Your last relationship lasted for a while, you were in love with the man but he treated you like you were nothing, every little thing you did was criticised, he made you feel so small.

After the relationship had finally ended you were ready to just be on your own and you lasted for a while, you got yourself an apartment, got promoted, everything was going great but you still felt terrible as a result of the constant belittling from your relationship.

Bumping into Derek Morgan had been completely random . He was working a local case and you just so happened to be tasked with dealing with the FBI when they showed up at your workplace asking questions about a colleague who had not long been fired. Derek had been his charming self and once the case was finished he came and found you to ask if you’d like to grab a coffee with him sometime.

You weren’t quite sure if you were ready to start dating again or not but there was something about Derek that made you say yes. The two of you exchanged numbers before he left, shooting you a grin as he did.

The two of you had agreed to meet at a cafe not too far away from you. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited, you were dressed up nice, wearing a pair of high heels. It had been a long time since you’d worn heels, Michael hadn’t liked it when you did and it was easier to do what he said to save another argument.

After your last relationship you fully expected every guy to be like him so you were shocked when you walked in and saw Derek sat at a table waiting for you. Your ex had always been late or even stood you up without letting you know, it was humiliating, so seeing Derek there on time took you back a bit.

The second he saw you he stood up, smiling as you made your way over to him.

“Hey,” He said, his smile widening, “You look gorgeous.” He told you before he was moving to pull your seat out for you.

You paused as you watched him, never having a guy help you into your seat like this. It was such a casual move and Derek hadn’t even known how nice that was but you did.

“Thank you.” You replied, trying to hide your blush.

From there the two of you had sat and talked for hours, it was incredible how easily you were able to relax around Derek. The two of you swapped stories, admittedly Derek’s were a lot more interesting what with working with the FBI and all but when you spoke he gave you his full attention, you couldn’t help but relax as each hour passed.

Watching Derek throw his head back with laughter, you couldn’t help but remember your last relationship and you couldn’t ever remember laughing like this with him. It was strange that Derek found your stories funny when he never did.

Even though you were relaxed, you knew you were still coming off a little shy and knew Derek had to have picked up on it. He never asked though but when the date was over Derek walked you back to your car you almost told him why you had been so shy. You almost brought him up but then Derek started talking about Christmas with his family, he told you the movies they watched every year and you couldn’t help but smile at him and in that moment any thoughts of your ex left your mind.

“I had a great time tonight,” Derek told you when you stopped at your car. “Can I take you out again sometime?” He asked.

There was no hesitation this time, you knew you wanted...knew you had to see Derek again. There was something about the man, the way you were able to relax and talk so openly with him, the way you were able to laugh and joke together. There was no fear of saying the wrong thing and being shouted at, there was nothing within you telling you to get in your car and drive away from him.

In fact every instinct was telling you that Derek was special, he could be trusted.

“I’d really like that.” You told him honestly, watching as he grinned at you before leaning down to kiss your cheek softly.

“Get home safe, pretty lady.” He said as he pulled away, looking at the blush decorating your cheeks and smiling softly at you. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.” You smiled.

You hadn’t realised it then, how could you? It was a first date after all but that was the day you started falling in love with Derek Morgan. For eight long months you had thought all love ever did was break and burn and end and on a Wednesday afternoon, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.

The Best Day

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Prompt - ‘I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.’

Requested - @pumpkinfriend

Notes - This is my first time writing MGG so I apologise if it's OOC.

—————————————————–

Despite having never met your name and Matthew Gray Gubler’s name often went hand in hand together. It started when you said in an interview how much you admired the man and how big a fan you were of his latest work. That in turn led to Matthew being asked about you and him admitting he too was a fan of yours - that was the extent of the two of you mentioning each other in interviews though interviewers and fans alike did try their hardest to get you talking about one another.

The two of you, however, did give both your fanbases something - when you first started following each other on Instagram people found out pretty quickly, you still weren’t sure how they realised so fast. From there, there wasn’t much for a while but once Matthew liked the newest picture you had uploaded, social media went into a frenzy speculating what this meant - were you dating, how long had you been dating? You admittedly found it hilarious, one little like on a normal instagram post and two fan bases had gone crazy.

After that Matthew, himself, uploaded a post, again a normal post for him, just one of his drawings with a halloween theme to mark the beginning of October, and you liked it and left a comment - ‘now that is a ghost👻.’ And again, who knew one little thing could cause such an outburst?  Matthew too, thankfully, thought his comment section was quite funny, the number of people convinced that your simple comment could mean a hundred and one other things.

From there on it had become a sort of unspoken joke as to who could cause the bigger frenzy. Without fail people took notice of every comment you two made but so far Matthew seemed to be winning with ‘Maybe we should get August onto Criminal Minds, I can see her and Spencer getting along very well;).’ He had commented on a picture of you dressed in the character of August who was your character on the show you were currently working on and that comment had caused the biggest commotion so far, speculations of crossovers and love interest began to fill people's feeds and timelines.

Though there had been a considerable amount of comments shared back and forth via the instagram comment section, neither of you had actually messaged the other privately yet. You had considered it a few times but you barely had two minutes to yourself with your current filming schedule being pushed forward.

Months passed and at some point the comments turned from friendly to flirty. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment things have turned but you did know that whenever you saw Matthew’s name pop up on your phone an involuntary smile made its way onto your face. You knew it was foolish, how could you possibly have feelings for this man considering you’d never actually met him? But you also couldn’t deny the butterflies you felt.

Matthew was feeling the same way, every notification that altered him to a new post or comment from you had him feeling more giddy than he would ever admit. He still declined to mention you in his interviews, skillfully skirting around the questions whilst trying not to let too much show on his face about his growing feelings for you.

Matthew was thankful to have some time off from filming and spent his first day of just relaxing. Thoughts of you continued to cross his mind and he picked his phone up multiple times before throwing it down in frustration. He really wanted to meet you, wanted to get to know you and see where things went. The months of back and forth weren’t enough for him anymore. He knew the two of you were in the same state, not too far from each other either as he recognised the backgrounds of quite a few of your posts.

With a sigh he sat down and grabbed his phone before opening a direct message with you. For a while he just stared at the blank page, pondering over how to start. He didn’t want to be too direct but he also wanted to get his intentions across as early as possible to give you time to decide whether he was what you wanted.

‘Hi, I’ve really enjoyed talking with you these last few months and wanted the chance to talk to you without thousands of other people reading our every word.’ He wrote and rewrote this one sentence four hundred times before deciding that sounded good enough. ‘I’d love to get to know you better, maybe we could hang out together soon?’ Was that too forward? Should he even mention meeting up with you so soon? Why was this so complicated?

Before he could overthink the message anymore he clicked send and tried to ignore the feeling of dread. He found himself constantly checking his phone, every time the screen lit up he himself lit up only to deflate when he didn’t see your name. I need to do something, he said as he stood up and moved over to the desk ready to lose himself in his art.

-

You sighed as you finished up your last day of filming, you loved what you did but you were thankful for the two or so months you had off. Filming a movie and then the series back to back had exhausted you. You grabbed your bag, not bothering to check your phone, before leaving the set and heading home.

Filming for your show was great though as you got to film it in your state meaning you didn’t need to worry about housing as you could stay in the comfort of your own home. You had greatly missed being home, spending over three months in Canada filming the movie.

Letting out a long exhale, you collapsed into bed after changing out of your clothes and shut your eyes for a minute before pulling your bag close and taking out your phone. You scrolled through the many notifications before pausing at one that caused a smile to spread across your face.

It was a dm from @gublergram.

With slight feelings of nervousness you clicked the notification before outright grinning at the message he had sent.

Taking a breath, you started typing out your reply.

‘Hey Matthew! I’ve really enjoyed talking to you too. Honestly I’m relieved you messaged me, as much fun as causing the internet to break down has been I did want to talk to you more privately. You caught me at the perfect time actually, I’ve just finished filming and have two months free, if you’re around we should definitely hang!’

That seemed casual enough, you thought as you sent the message and dragged yourself up to get ready for bed. By the time you’d finished your night time routine and were tucked up in bed there was a message waiting for you from Matthew.

‘Didn’t you just shoot a movie too? You must be excited for a break, I know I am and I’ve only shot one series! Who knew a few comments here and there could cause so much speculation? Perhaps, if you’re up for it, we could maybe meet up in a few weeks?’

A few weeks was both very soon and yet somehow still so far away. Nerves started creeping in but you tried to brush them aside. Matthew didn’t mean anything by it, surely? Yeah, you’d traded flirty comments here and there but there was no way Matthew could be interested in you…right?

‘Beyond excited! No spoilers, I’m still catching up 😂 For real, did you see the theory about us getting married in Vegas because we were both there around the same time a year ago? These fans are crazy but I think it’s hilarious. I’m totally up for meeting up, I know October’s your month so I’ll leave the plans to you.’

It was like the tiredness that you felt earlier had just disappeared, you and Matthew stayed up til well after midnight talking back and forth. He assured you he had something in mind for when you guys met but he refused to tell you what it was. You found yourself eagerly awaiting the day you’d meet.

-

Everything about this man was intriguing to you, the way he was so unapologetically himself was something you greatly admired about him. It was easy to start falling for him, how could a person not? As you got to know him more over the course of the next few weeks you found yourself liking him more and more. The way he always brought a smile to your face, the way the conversation flowed like you’d known each other forever. Everything was amazing and to think you hadn’t even met each other yet.

You continued to send messages to each other, getting to know more about his life and him yours. You were thankful you didn’t have work for the foreseeable future as the two of you often stayed up late talking to one another. The conversations covered many different topics, sometimes you sent him screenshots of new theories flying about regarding the two of you, he sent you pictures of his drawings, talking to him came naturally.

Eventually the day arrived in late October. Matthew had assured you that dressing casually was just fine and you found yourself applying some makeup with nervous bubbling below the surface. They were good nerves though, it wasn’t like you didn’t want this but more the fact you couldn’t really believe it was happening. You’d been talking via comments for months and only a few weeks privately but it felt like so much longer.

Just as you slipped your shoes on you heard a knock on your door and knew it was Matthew. Two or so days ago he had texted you asking whether you’d be comfortable with him picking you up or if you’d rather meet him at the location, you hadn’t needed long to ponder over the answer and texted him back telling him you’d like him to pick you up if he didn’t mind.

You took a deep breath before standing up and making your way over to the door. When you opened it you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as the nerves you were feeling faded to make way for excitement.

He was even more stunning in person, standing there with his own smile plastered on his face, cheeks flushed, from the cold or from seeing you, and eyes bright, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

The two of you stood there for a moment, just taking the other in before he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Hi, you look,” here he paused to clear his throat again, “You look beautiful.” He told you, causing you to blush slightly. “These are for you.” He said, holding the flowers out towards you.

“They’re beautiful, thank you.” You pushed the door open wider and invited him inside whilst you put the flowers in a vase and grabbed your jacket.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” You asked as the two of you left your house and walked towards his car. Matthew just grinned at you whilst shaking his head causing you to let out a laugh.

“Here, let me.” He said as he quickly moved around you so he could open the car door for you.

“Thank you.” You smiled.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were chatting away to each other, the initial nerves seemed to leave the both of you and it definitely didn’t feel like the first time you were in each other's company. You were able to pick up where you left off with your instagram message, slipping into easy conversation whilst you occasionally tried to get him to tell you where you were going to which he just laughed and said you’d find out soon enough.

Before long Matthew was indicating into a car park causing you to look around for any clue as to where you were. Your eyes widened and a grin spread across your face as you saw the sign that told you that you were at a pumpkin picking patch. You turned to face Matthew, unable to contain the joy written across your face which caused the man to let out a relieved sigh at his plan.

The two of you made your way in, your eyes trying to take everything in. Naturally there were pumpkins everywhere but in the distance you saw some children playing with animals at the petting zoo section, and not too far from them seemed to be horse drawn carriages, the carriages filled with hay bales.

You laughed as Matthew made a comment about an oddly shaped pumpkin. Matthew was everything you’d thought he would be and so much more, walking alongside him, you couldn’t help but smile as he rambled on, hands gesturing around unconsciously, he was so animated when he spoke.

“Oo, look at this one!” You exclaimed, making your way over to an impressively large pumpkin. Matthew grinned as he watched you struggle to pick up the pumpkin, you tried a few times before pouting over at him causing him to laugh.

“Maybe we should get a wheelbarrow.” You were quick to agree and pretty quickly the two of you found an abandoned wheelbarrow.

“Your carriage awaits, milady.” Matthew said whilst gesturing to the wheelbarrow, you raised your eyebrow at him but grinned as you sat down in it. Matthew couldn’t help but pause, you looked so beautiful, face flushed with the autumn air, grinning up at him.

God, one date and he was so gone for you.

He smiled back at you as he pulled his phone out causing you to laugh and pose.

Matthew was still laughing as he began pushing you over to where the pumpkin was and the two of you managed to heave it into the wheelbarrow. From there the two of you strolled around, Matthew pushing the wheelbarrow and you sneaking glances at him.

“I’ve never been to a pumpkin patch.” You admitted to him, watching in amusement as he gave you an incredulous look.

“How have you never been to a pumpkin patch?” He asked with over exaggerated shock, causing you to giggle.

“I don’t know, I mean I always wanted to but it wasn’t something we did as a kid and then as an adult I’m usually working so I never had the chance.”

“Well, I’m honoured to be the first person to bring you here.” He smiled softly and you couldn’t help but think how you wanted to spend many more falls with him.

Matthew turned the wheelbarrow towards a group of kids who were playing ring toss with the top of pumpkins.

“Care for a game?” He grinned as he left the wheelbarrow and stepped forward to pick up a couple of rings, waving them in your direction. You couldn’t help but grin as you took them from him.

“You’re on, Gubler.” The two of you were definitely the oldest people playing the game but neither of you cared to notice, so absorbed in your own little world that everyone else just ceased to exist.

Thankfully Matthew was just as terrible at the game as you were so there was no time for embarrassment at your tragic aiming skills, just room for laughter. You watched as Mathew let out a defeated groan as his ring completely missed the pumpkin again despite the fact he swore this was the one.

“I don’t think either of us are winning any prizes anytime soon.” You grinned as the pair of you walked away.

“I thought I was better.” He pouted, causing you to giggle.

The two of you had a nice collection of pumpkins, mostly the oddly shaped and huge ones with a few mini ones here and there,  and Matthew suggested putting them in the car before grabbing some food from one of the many stalls. You agreed and soon the two of you were sitting at a picnic table with food and hot drinks in front of you.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” You said during a moment of comfortable silence that formed after you’d both finished eating.

“I’m glad you let me.” Matthew replied, a soft smile gracing his face. There was a slight pause, Matthew opening and closing his mouth, before he spoke up again. “Is this a date?” He asked, he wanted it to be a date so much and he was picking up the same intention from you but the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable.

You smiled down at the table before looking back up at him, “Yeah, yeah it is.”

Matthew tried but he couldn’t stop a grin from forming and you easily mirrored the expression.

The two of you stood, clearing the table, before heading off towards the other end of the field to where the horses were. You hesitated for a moment before linking your arm with Matthew’s, waiting for him to show if this was ok and when he smiled down at your linked arms and tightened his grip slightly you grinned to yourself.

The two of you talked amongst yourselves, still happily oblivious to the rest of the world, and when you arrived at the horse-drawn hayrides, Matthew offered his hand to you, helping you up before taking a seat next to you.

“Please tell me you’ve at least been on a hay bale ride?” Matthew said as he turned to face you, watching as you smiled sheepishly before shaking your head. “I have so much to show you!” He exclaimed, causing you to playfully roll your eyes.

Part way through the ride you shivered slightly, pulling your coat tighter around yourself. Matthew watched the movement and paused for a second before he wrapped his arm around you, just leaving it to rest there and letting you decide if you wanted to lean into him or not.

You bite your lower lip in order to hold back a smile and let yourself relax into Matthew, missing the smile on his face as you did. The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence, the two of you content to just be with each other.

-

On the car ride home, Matthew held your hand in his, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against it every so often. You couldn’t help smiling softly down at your joined hands, never had you felt so comfortable with a man, especially one you had only met today and yet here you were feeling like you’d known Matthew Gray Gubler forever.

Matthew was thinking pretty much the same thing, he knew that dating was serious to him. He couldn’t casually date, dating had always been a big deal to him and you were…you were wonderfully rare. The woman he had dated in the past had been so uniquely amazing that he was intrigued but you, you were captivating, from that first conversation that led to the two of you sitting here, hands entwined together after spending hours in each other’s company…he had known straight away you were special but after actually being with you that fact was solidified. He wanted more Octobers with you, he wanted to take you to all his favourite places and he wanted to visit all the places you held near to your heart.

As Matthew pulled into the driveway of your house, the two of you climbed out of the car and each hauled a few pumpkins up to your front door which you managed to open whilst balancing several pumpkins.

You both placed them down and Matthew turned to face you, standing in your doorway.

“I had a really great time today.” Matthew told you, sincerity shining in his eyes.

“So did I.” You replied, you really had had the best day with him and could only hope for many more to come.

“Can I take you out again soon?” He asked you, smiling as you nodded.

“I’d really like that.” The two of you, much like this morning when he picked you up, stood there for a moment, just taking the other in, before Matthew leaned down and placed a soft lingering kiss to your cheek.

“See you soon then.” He said quietly as he pulled away.

“Can’t wait.” You replied back, matching his tone and leaned against the doorway until his car disappeared from view.

-

You fell into bed that night with the biggest grin on your face, still riding the high from your date. You hadn’t had a chance to check your phone much since you’d gotten home but now that you were done for the night you pulled it out to open Instagram and began scrolling through your feed before switching to the explore section to scroll through some random pictures.

Whilst you scrolled aimlessly you paused at a set of pictures that had been uploaded three hours ago. There was you and Matthew, picking pumpkins, him pushing you in the wheelbarrow, the two of you leaning into each other laughing with flushed cheeks and finally a picture of you and Matthew during the hayride, you resting your head on his shoulder and him smiling down at you. When you clicked the comments you saw the fans were absolutely ecstatic.

Though you were slightly annoyed at whoever this person was for uploading what were clearly private moments, you also knew you didn’t have the privilege of privacy and neither did Matthew. You couldn’t help but smile down at the pictures though, they were cute and you couldn’t resist screenshotting them, the last one made you soft though, the expression on Matthew’s face…it was like he couldn’t believe you were there with him which was silly because if anyone should be in disbelief it was you.

You pressed the share button and then clicked your private messages with Matthew to send him the pictures before sending another message.

‘I think after this we’ll definitely break the internet.’

It didn’t take long before Matthew messaged you back.

‘We really should’ve had bets on how long it would take to get online. I do like the pictures though.’

‘Yeah, me too. Thank you today, Matthew, I had an amazing time. I can’t wait to see you again.’

‘I had a wonderful day too, I’m excited for our next date.’

‘Do I get to know what we’re doing this time?’

‘Hmm…nope! Have you got plans for Halloween?’

‘No, I’m free’

‘Can I take you out then? I have such a good idea!’

You laughed out loud as you read his message, his excitement seeping through the screen.

‘I’m looking forward to it.’

‘You’re going to love it, trust me. I have an interview early tomorrow morning so I should get to bed. I really did have a great time with you today, Y/N. I look forward to seeing you again. Goodnight.’

‘I had an amazing day, I can’t wait to see you again. Goodnight Matthew.’

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Requested - Yes - Anon - a Bucky x reader fic with these prompts!!! (kinda an enemies to friends/lover trope)

Prompts - 71 - “Stop being dramatic.” 117 - “You’re shaking.” 146 - “Would you be so kind as to share the blanket?”

Ever since Steve had managed to get through to Barnes and bring him back to the compound things had been...well they hadn’t been great. There was tension thick in the air as people tiptoed around the Winter Soldier. Tony had been a great help though, his BARF technology helping Barnes get his head straight and with the help of other world renowned scientists they were able to deactivate the trigger words.

With that done the tension eased a bit.

You, however, did not get on with Barnes at all and he wasn’t your biggest fan either. The two of you had rubbed each other wrong since day one. You weren’t sure exactly what it was about Barnes that frustrated you so much but he had the ability to make you go from happy to pissed off in a matter of seconds.

Steve had tried to get the two of you to at least tolerate each other but you couldn’t be in the same room as him for longer than three minutes before an argument broke out. It wasn’t even anything important you were fighting about, sometimes it was about you eating the last piece of food he’d been saving, or him purposefully putting your favourite mug in one of the highest cupboards.

The arguments held no real meaning but the heat was there. The two of you couldn’t stand each other, which is why when Steve told you about your newest mission you were stumped.

-

“Y/N,” Steve sighed as he looked at you with wide, blue eyes.

“No.” You stated, plain and simple. “There is no way I am going on a mission alone with Barnes. We’d kill each other before we even arrived at the base.”

“Y/N,” Steve tried again but you were quick to cut him off.

“I’m not going, you can’t make me!” You were well aware you sounded like a child throwing a temper tantrum but you didn’t care. The mission was delicate enough considering it was HYDRA and whilst you definitely didn’t have it as bad as Barnes did with them, there was still history there that you would much rather ignore forever.

“You have to go, Y/N/N, I wouldn’t ask if there was another option. You know that.” Much as you hated to admit it, he was right. Steve and you didn’t always see eye to eye but you knew he had your back when it counted.

“Why me and him?” You asked, the fight leaving you.

“Buck knows HYDRA better than anybody else, he’s going to be able to get you both in and get the info we need before blowing it up. We need you to verify the information, the experiments they’re working on are the same ones they did to you. Also, if things go south then your talents are going to come in pretty useful.” Steve explained.

Years ago, so long ago that you couldn’t remember a time you hadn’t been there, HYDRA had taken you. You, yourself, meant nothing to them, you weren’t a bargaining chip, a tool for blackmail, you were nothing. You were someone who could go missing off the face of the Earth and nobody would notice.

From then on they experimented with something that held more power than human kind should have. It made some go crazy, many were killed by the sheer power but you...you had survived it and the power had created a whole array of mutations within you. There was the mind reading, the telekinesis and the ability to enchant minds, then you had the super speed, super hearing and super healing and on top of that there was the ability to teleport.

Whatever they used on you to make you like this they were still doing to other people, using them as weapons. Only it wasn’t working the way they wanted it to and there were sightings of HYDRA attacks where the attackers exploded.

The Avengers had been targeting HYDRA bases at an increasing speed, so they were getting desperate and sloppy in their attempts to recreate what had happened to you.

“Fine, I’ll go but can’t I just go alone, I mean I can teleport.” You smirked, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, you can teleport when you know where you’re going. I’m not risking you losing limbs just because you don’t like Buck.”

“I’d take a missing hand if it meant not spending time with him.” You outright grinned at the look Steve was shooting you.

“You know, if you gave each other a chance you’d realise how much you have in common.” Steve told you before he left the room causing you to let out a sharp laugh. You couldn’t even imagine getting through one conversation with him without an argument.

It was going to be a long mission.

-

The entire flight over to the HYDRA base was exhausting. You had sat in the furthest possible seat away from him the entire flight and shoved a pair of headphones in. Barnes had rolled his eyes at you but pulled out a lengthy book to read.

Four hours in and you were getting antsy. You’d never been particularly great on planes to begin with and since you could teleport to most places after seeing the general area through pictures or videos, you’d grown used to not travelling like this. It was so slow compared to teleportation.

You stood up from your seat with a groan and walked over to the bar that was installed on the plane.

“Drinking before a mission, pretty irresponsible Y/L/N.” Barnes chimed in causing you to roll your eyes. You downed the small amount of liquid that was in the glass before turning to glare at him.

“God forbid I have a drink before we spend the night in a rundown motel, Barnes.” You shot back, really not in the mood to deal with Barnes right now.

“Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you don’t wanna get stuck in. Sooner we get in, the sooner we can go our separate ways.” He said.

“Trust me, nobody is counting down the seconds until we can leave each other faster than I am.” You snarked back causing him to roll his eyes. He placed the book down and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Stop being dramatic.” He replied, causing you to laugh.

“Trust me, I’m being deadly serious right now. Anyway, we can’t go in guns blazing tonight. This isn’t a regular ‘go in, blow up a HYDRA base and leave’ job, this is us needing information, we need to know how they’re doing these experiments and most importantly we need to get the civilians out.” Steve had been clear when he gave you both this mission, as necessary as it was to blow up the HYDRA base, it was more important to get the victims out. Get everyone to safety, even if it means leaving this base.

“I know, I know.” Bucky grumbled, his Brooklyn accent coming out stronger than usual with the words causing you to look at him, only being used to hearing the Russian accent he tended to favour when arguing with you.

“Let’s just do our job and then we don’t have to see each other again.” You said before going back to your seat at the end of the plane.

-

It was freezing.

That was the only thought you were capable of as you stepped off the plane. You were somewhere in nowhere, Russia. Somewhere way off the radar, the weather alone was enough to stir you away.

Thankfully there was a small town, it was a trek away from the HYDRA base but this was as close as the two of you could get before there were no signs of civilisation. You struggled to shoot a smile at the driver as you got out of the cab, your lips were frozen.

Barnes left you outside as he went in to book a room. Surprisingly for a small town in the middle of nowhere, most of the car park spaces were taken and you crossed your fingers hoping that that didn’t mean the motel was booked up.

Thankfully Barnes came out of the reception area holding a pair of keys and gestured for you to follow him. You tugged your bag further up your shoulder before following him to the door, cursing him in your head at how long it took him to open it.

However, you both stopped short in the doorway as you took in the room. It was a small room, the only thing in there was a small kitchen, an armchair, a coffee table and a bed.

A bed.

As in singular.

One.

God you were going to kill Steve.

“Great.” Barnes muttered as he stomped into the room, throwing his bag on the floor. You followed after, agreeing with the sentiment.

“I’ll take the chair, you take the bed.” You said as you placed your bag on the armchair, grimacing at the stains on it.

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t need as much sleep, you take the bed.” Barnes insisted, causing you to raise an eyebrow. You figured this would be the one thing Barnes didn’t fight you on.

“Barnes, the chair’s tiny, you wouldn’t even fit on it.” You weren’t wrong, the chair looked like something designed with a child in mind. Barnes', admittedly impressive, physique would struggle. “Besides you might not need as much sleep but you need to be on your game tomorrow.”

“I’ll be fine, take the bed.” Barnes argued again causing you to roll your eyes.

“Barnes it’s late, I’m tired and cold and I really don’t feel like arguing. You take the bed, I’ll take the chair. End off.” You said before rooting through your bag, pulling out a pair of pyjamas and your toiletries. “And have the heating on by the time I come out.” You said before disappearing into the bathroom.

Bucky grumbled to himself as he watched you close the door but went to do as you asked. He could feel the cold even with the serum running through him so he dreaded to think how bad you were feeling it.

“Great.” Bucky grumbled for the second time in as many minutes as he discovered that the only heater in the room was broken.

“Fuck it’s cold.” You muttered as you left the bathroom.

“The heaters broke so I’d get used to it.” Barnes said before taking his turn in the bathroom.

You glared at the broken heater for a moment, dreading the night to come. You already tended to run cold and didn’t take well to the colder climates.

With a sigh, you turned and took the thinner blanket from the bed before settling down in the armchair. You wrapped the blanket around yourself as best you could but knew it would be useless in blocking out the freezing cold air.

Barnes came out of the bathroom and paused to look at you. You were pale and looked miserable. He went to offer you the bed again but before he could say anything you were talking.

“Go to bed, Barnes.” He did so, reluctantly, feeling guilty which was a new feeling when it came to you.

-

For hours you had tried desperately to sleep but it was useless. The cold was too much and you felt yourself shaking as you tried to keep your mind active and focusing on anything but how cold you were. It was all in vain though as you shifted again trying your best to find some source of warmth.

Bucky too was awake. The cold was harsh, he felt the chill deep within his bones and frowned as he heard you shift and sigh in frustration.

Without overthinking it, he sat up and turned the lamp on causing you to screw your eyes shut for a moment before opening them again to find Barnes looking at you in concern.

“You’re shaking.” He said and as much as you wanted to argue, as much as you didn’t want to seem weak in front of him, you could hardly deny it.

Bucky frowned as he took in your shaking form, the frown deepening when he saw the blue tinged lips.

“C’mere.” He said softly, gesturing to the place next to him.

You shook your head. It was bad enough you were this weak in front of him, you refused to give him the upper hand, though you struggled to figure out what game he was playing.

“Y/N,” He began, causing you to look up at him again, he’d never used your first name, “Would you be so kind as to share the blanket with me? I’m freezing, you’re freezing. Just one night and we never have to talk about it again."

You looked at him, really looked at him. You could see no ulterior motive and no threats were visible. He seemed genuinely concerned which you knew wasn’t right but at the moment you were too cold to care.

“Fine.” You agreed, wincing at your hoarse sounding voice.

You made your way over to the bed and climbed in, sighing in relief as Barnes wrapped the blanket around you, the heat from Barnes feeling like heaven right now.

Bucky smiled as you cuddled further into the bed. Before he could stop himself, he was wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close so you were tucked against his chest.

“What are you doing?” You asked quietly, tensing at the close contact.

“Making sure you don’t freeze to death.” He said, though it didn’t feel like the whole truth to him.

“Please, we both know you hate me.” You chuckled before having to clear your throat. Bucky grimaced, having a feeling you were going to be really sick in the next few days.

“I don’t hate you, Y/N/N,” He whispered, something about the cold air and feel of your body against his made him want to talk to you, make you see he didn’t hate you, “I mean, you manage to push every one of my buttons and sometimes I’d love to wipe that smirk of your face,” He chuckled causing your lips to twitch into a smile, “but at the same time, I look forward to our arguments, I like them, I like spending time with you even if you do make me wanna pull my hair out.”

You laughed at that, turning your head to face him. As you thought about it yourself, really thought about it, the more you realised just how much you too looked forward to bumping into him. That sharp tongue of his matching your remarks faster than anyone else, keeping you on your toes constantly.

“I suppose I don’t hate you either.” You admitted, just as quietly, like you were sharing your one of your deepest secret, maybe you were.

“You sure do got a way with words, doll.” Barnes joked as he ran his metal fingers down your arm.

“Shut up, Barnes.” You said, hoping he'd blame the flush on your cheeks on the cold.

“Call me Bucky.” He insisted with a soft smile. You hesitated a moment before nodding and cuddling into him.

“Goodnight...Bucky.”

“Sweet dreams Y/N/N.”

Losing You, It's Not An Option

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Prompt - 'The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair.’

Notes - This is my first time writing for Hotch so if it’s a little ooc, I do apologise.

It had been a rough case, three missing kids turned up dead before the FBI had been called in and another one missing for over ten hours. You had fourteen hours to figure out where this kid was before the chances of her being found alive were gone.

The plane ride over seemed to drag, nobody said anything after being briefed on the case, all too absorbed in reading through the files, thoughts and theories running through everyone’s head a mile a minute.

This was a particularly tough case for you considering the last time you’d had a case involving a kid they had died just as you burst through the door.

If only you’d been faster then that kid would still be alive.

With a sigh, you scrubbed at your face before looking back down at the folder, missing the look of concern Hotch threw your way.

“Y/L/N, Reid, you’re with me at the latest crime scene. Rossi, Prentiss, JJ, you head over to the station, the family of the missing girl should already be there.” Hotch said as everyone got off the jet and into two separate SUV’s.

There wasn’t much at the crime scene at this point, nothing that gave you any clues and everyone was painfully aware of the countdown.

-

Around the fifteen hour mark the team was ready to give a profile. You stood to the side as you watched Hotch describe how you were looking for a male in his early to mid 30’s who would have recently lost a five year old brunette girl. Everyone took turns giving bits of information out but you stayed silent, this time noticing the glances from Hotch.

“Y/L/N can I have a word?” Hotch asked once the briefing was over. You just nodded and followed him into an empty meeting room.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, closing the door.

“Everything’s fine.” You told him and judging by the look he shot you, you weren’t very convincing.

“Y/N,” He began but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“There’s a little girl out there and we need to find her. We don’t have any time to waste.” And with that you brushed past him and back into the bullpen just in time for Spencer to announce that Garcia had found somebody who matched the profile perfectly.

“Noah Williams, aged 33. He, his wife and daughter were involved in a car accident, only he made it out alive. The wife was declared DOA but the daughter didn’t die until…” Here Spencer paused to skim through the details Garcia had sent over, “four days ago.”

“When the kidnappings started.” You said, causing him to nod.

“We know he doesn’t spend long with his victims due to the length of time from the girls being reported missing and then found, it’s usually around the twenty four hour mark. Isabelle has been missing for nearly sixteen hours now giving us an eight hour window to find her.” Spencer informed everybody and Hotch was quick to pull his phone out, Garcia answering on the first ring.

“Garcia, we need an address.” He said into the phone and you could hear typing noises as Garcia desperately tried to find an address.

“I have two.” She announced after a few moments. “One’s a cabin in the woods, pretty secluded, the other is a house not too far from you.”

“Rossi, Prentiss, Morgan you take the house. Y/L/N, Reid you’re with me at the cabin.” Hotch directed and people around you were quickly moving.

“You think he’ll be at the house?” Rossi asked, causing Hotch to sigh.

“Probably not but we can’t rule it out.” Everyone agreed and it wasn’t long before you were all in the SUV’s heading to two separate locations praying that the little girl was still alive.

-

“Reid, you and Y/L/N take the back, I’ll take the front.” Hotch said and everyone nodded before moving into position.

Just as Spencer opened the backdoor and headed inside you noticed a door that must have led down into the cellar. It was concealed pretty well but things looked out of place, like somebody didn’t have enough time to properly cover it up.

You turned around, not seeing Spencer, and lifted your gun higher as you walked over to the door. Thankfully it pulled open without any resistance and you slowly headed down the stairs.

As you came to the bottom of the stairs you heard crying causing you to turn around to see Isabelle, looking scared and bruised but thankfully alive, and the man Garcia had sent you a picture of.

He held a gun to the little girl’s head causing you to pause for a second.

“Come any closer and I’ll kill her.” He threatened, causing the girl to let out a whimper.

“Hey, it’s ok, nobody needs to get hurt.” You said as you lowered your gun. You knew Hotch would kill you for this but you just needed that girl alive. “Look I’ve put my gun away, I’m not here to hurt you Mr Williams, I promise I just want to help.”

“You can’t help me!” He shouted, the hand holding the gun shaking.

“I can, I promise I’ll do everything I can to help you but don’t let her parent’s go through what you went through when you lost Amelia.” You knew bringing up his daughter could go one of two ways and if it went south…you really needed him pointing that gun at you and not Isabelle.

“Don’t say her name!” He yelled and you couldn’t help but relax as the gun was finally pointed at you.

“It crushed you to lose her, she was your little girl and it’s not fair that she’s gone but you can’t take it out on these girls.” You tried to reason with him but you could see it in his eyes, you could see there was no talking him down.

You looked down at Isabelle and managed to discreetly signal to her to run up the stairs, out of the cellar, from there Hotch and Reid could help her.

You held your palm flat as Williams took a step closer to you, his attention no longer on the girl and with that you closed your fist and Isabelle was darting past you causing Williams to scream.

Before you even had a chance to draw your gun you felt a burning hot pain in your thigh and then another in your upper arm. As you hit the floor you heard the sound of people running down the stairs and more gun shots before your eyes slipped shut and your body went numb.

-

“What was she thinking?” Hotch asked as he paced in the private waiting room the team had been given.

“That last case with the kid really got to her, man. She blamed herself for his death.” Derek said from his seat.

“She’ll be ok, she always is.” Rossi said after a few moments of silence. Spencer really hoped that was true but he couldn’t get the image of you out of his mind.

Blood seemed to be pouring out of both the wounds alarmingly fast, Hotch hadn’t hesitated to shoot Williams before he was knelt on the floor next to you, uncaring about the blood staining his clothes. His hand cupped your cheek as he pleaded for you to wake up, desperately shouting for a medic.

It was safe to say Hotch had always had a soft spot for you though it had never been said it was obvious to everyone on the team, except of course for you. Every time someone teased you about it you just smiled and shook your head.

The image of Hotch so emotional as he held your unconscious body against his chest was one that wouldn’t leave his mind for a long while.

Eventually a doctor came over and told them of your condition. You had lost a lot of blood, nearly flat lined as they operated on you, one of the bullets had shattered so it was a long process but thankfully you’d be fine.

“She’s waking up but she’s on a lot of medication right now so just take it easy with her.” The doctor advised as he led them to your room. Everyone thanked him before he left and Hotch turned to the team.

“I know you all want to see her but could I have a few moments alone?” He asked and nobody had it in them to deny that request, not when Hotch was looking more scared, more worried than they could ever recall.

“How you doing?” Hotch asked softly as he entered the room, shutting the door gently behind him.

“I’m ok.” You whispered, slowly opening your eyes and shooting him a small smile.

“Y/N,” Hotch began still talking softly as he pulled a chair close to your bed, “what you did today-” He started but you cut him off.

“Saved a little girl’s life.” You smiled, “I won’t apologize, if I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn’t change a damn thing.” You told him and were surprised to see him smile. It was a rare sight for you so you couldn’t help but savour the moment.

Ever since you’d started working at the FBI you’d always had a small crush on Hotch, never acting on it because he was your boss but it was always there. The rest of the team teased you about Hotch being soft on you but you knew there was no truth to it - though seeing him here, smiling at you had you hoping they could be right.

When Hotch took your hand in his, brushing his thumb against your knuckles you couldn’t help but stare down at the joined hands.

“I know you wouldn’t.” He said, the small smile still in place. “Y/N, I need you to be more careful though, you could have called for backup. Doing it alone got you hurt, you nearly died and losing you…it’s not an option.” Hotch said, the words surprising him as well as you.

You couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment, your eyebrows knitting together as you took in the words.

“Hotch,” You began, throat suddenly dry and you had no idea what you were going to say. Thankfully he cut you off.

“I can’t lose you, Y/N.” He admitted and every part of him was screaming to shut up, he was your boss, this wasn’t right but he’d almost lost you today, if the bullet had hit you a little more to the right you would have bled out. He couldn’t lose you. “I know it’s not appropriate, I know I’m your boss but I cannot lose you.” He repeated as he lifted your knuckles to his lips

Your eyes watered, Hotch was here with a confession you’d only dreamed of hearing.

God, you wished you weren’t high on pain meds right now.

“I don’t care that you’re my boss, I don’t care what people will say. I only want you, Aaron.” You whispered, causing him to let out a watery laugh.

“I’ve waited so long for you to say that.” He admitted quietly, making you blush. “You’re so beautiful.” He murmured.

“I just got shot, I look horrible,” you laughed, causing his eyes to brighten.

“You could never.” He said, his tone so painfully honest that all you could do was smile shyly at him, a soft blush covering your cheeks.

The two of you stayed silent for a moment before a knock on the door interrupted you as Derek poked his head around. You watched as his eyes almost immediately darted to your joined hands, a small grin on his face.

“Can we come in?” He asked looking at Hotch and then you, both of you nodded and pretty quickly everyone was settled in your room.

Hotch never let go of your hand.

-

“You can take the jet home, we’ll be fine here.” Hotch told everyone as they got back to the hotel that night. There was a sense of pride as everyone shook their heads no, wanting to wait until you were released so you could all head home together.

His team was truly amazing.

Alone in bed he had plenty of time to think of the conversation that took place between the two of you. There had always been something about you but he never focused on it, when you had first joined the team he was still married but after his divorce he started noticing you more.

It was true he had always been less strict with you but he was always able to brush it off until one day he realised he was falling for you. He didn’t know when it happened just that it did but he was your boss, it wasn’t allowed.

But seeing you in that hospital bed, looking so small attached to various different wires and monitors, watching as you bled out on the dirty floor of the cellar…rules be damned, he wasn’t going to waste any opportunities with you. Even if you told him you didn’t feel the same, at least he tried.

But somehow you did feel the same.

He was still trying to register that. How could someone like you, someone so young, so much potential, so much goodness, like someone like him, he was older, he was divorced, he had a kid.

With a sigh, he rolled over and closed his eyes.

You liked him.

He wouldn’t let a day go by where he wouldn’t show you how much he cared for you.

He couldn’t lose you, it wasn’t an option.

-

“Hey, have you heard from the hospital? How is she?” Reid asked the next morning as everyone met in the lobby.

“She’s trying to bribe nurses to let her leave so I’d say she’s doing much better.” Hotch said, causing everyone to laugh as they piled into the SUV.

The ride over to the hospital was fairly quick, everyone talking amongst themselves. Rossi sat up front with Hotch and after making sure everyone else was distracted he quietly spoke.

“So, you and Y/N,” He began, watching how Hotch tensed.

“It’s a bad idea, isn’t it?” Hotch asked, it was a thought that kept running through his head but he ignored it as best he could.

“I don’t think so.” Rossi said, causing Hotch to look at him for half a second before turning his attention back to the road. “I think the two of you are professional enough to make sure it doesn’t affect your work. You like her, Hotch, you have for a long time and she likes you. You both deserve to be happy.” Rossi said sincerely just as they pulled up to the hospital.

As everyone else got out, Hotch turned to Rossi and just looked at him for a moment.

“Thank you.” He said. He really needed to hear that it was ok and he trusted Rossi to tell him the truth no matter how much it hurt.

-

“How is she?” Emily asked as the doctor walked up to the group.

“She’s tough. Though there was a lot of blood, the wounds themselves aren’t a cause for concern. We’re going to get her some medication and then you can take her with you.” The team all let out a collective sigh of relief at the news.

“Hey baby girl.” Morgan greeted as he walked over to you, placing a kiss on your head. “How you doing today?”

“Hey,” you grinned up at him, “I feel pretty good, all things considered.” You told him honestly. Naturally your wounds hurt but the medication was working great.

Your eyes drifted to Hotch, looking for any signs of regret. You had a feeling that a night alone might make him realise all the ways this could blow up in your faces but thankfully he shot you a small, barely there smile letting you know everything was alright.

-

Being back in your own bed was a blessing you would never take for granted again. Though it was made better by the fact Hotch was here, sitting next to you as he adjusted the covers around you.

“You’ll shout me if you need me, right?” He asked. You hadn’t wanted to be alone tonight and Hotch had been worrying over you since you were discharged from the hospital. Now that the medicine was starting to wear off and the ones prescribed to you weren’t as strong you were starting to feel the pain and Hotch had offered to come home with you just to make sure you were ok. He insisted on sleeping in the guest room of your apartment which made you smile.

“I promise.” You assured him, smiling as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“Ok, I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight sweetheart.” He whispered, squeezing your hand twice before he headed out of the room. You watched as he paused in the doorway, a smile on his face as he looked back at you.

“Goodnight Aaron.”