libbee

dedicated to occult, depth psychology and philosophy

342 posts

Last Night With Her (venus In 8th House)

Last night with her (venus in 8th house)

I can't forget what happened last night,

It felt like the night would never end,

And when it did, I knew I wouldn't be the same again.

She took something from me,

I have been empty since her,

I have barely lived after she left.

She touched my wounds at midnight,

And by 4 AM, I was in her arms,

Crying out my secrets to her,

She possessed me and I haven't been the same since her.

I am ruined, nobody else can be her,

She ruined my life, how can I move on from that night?

In that night we lived an eternity,

A 1000 years in past and a 1000 years in future,

We knew everything together.

She promised me she will be there in the morning,

I woke up and found her still there like we agreed,

She kept her promise, I sighed,

She had shed her skin and left it as it is.

Thank you for this gift,

But she took my soul in exchange,

Now I have to spend these bland nights alone,

Until we die, till we reunite.

More Posts from Libbee

libbee

2 years ago

Dangers of the Abyss

Intro = Does this image stir something in you? Some emotion, thought, memory? Perhaps fear. What we cannot express in words, we express in symbols and images. Images are not mere pixels but they are emotionally charged and they exist in our minds too. After all, our eyes are like cameras, mind is like camera film, memory is like storage space. The unconscious world can be accessed via your mental images, fantasies, visions, dreams, thoughts, emotions, memory. Some of the tools we use to explore the unconscious are writing, art, active imagination, tarot cards and alchemy. Some of the ways we know unconscious exists is synchronicities, projection and spiritual awakenings.

World of the unconscious = Few things are as tempting as exploring the 4th, 8th and 12th houses in astrology. Especially when you find yourself at the outskirts of healing, you are sucked into these areas of life and may lose touch with the material world. When the native is so engrossed in spiritual work or shadow work that they are obsessed with it and do it compulsively everyday, that is when you know that they have crossed the limits of what is healthy for them. Astrology, spirituality, occult, esoteric and mysticism (for eastern audience), new age tools (for western audience) can be very tempting in times of turbulence. This is why when life is out of control (eg, divorce or break up, disease or accident, money or career problems) we run to astrologers/psychics/healers, even if we were atheist or anti-theist otherwise. What is unseen, intangible and unknown resides in the unconscious and these 3 houses in astrology are the mining holes for the unconscious. They represent the collective unconscious, personal unconscious (or the subconcious mind) and bringing them to the light of the day is called awareness/enlightenment.

3. Curious case of Friedrich Nietzsche = Though history does not report why Nietzsche went insane, many report (including Carl Jung) that Nietzsche went so far into self exploration that he could not come back to the material life. That he went so deep into the unconscious that he could not pull himself out of it and completely submerged with the unconscious. Do you see how dangerous it is to do shadow work? Though whether Nietzsche could be reborn or not is not something we can decide, for it was his life path and his destiny. Though he lost himself in the darkness, at least he wrote some great books, at least he excavated some pearls from the ocean for the rest of us. It is to be noted that Nietzsche had ketu/south node in the 7th house which can signify his unsuccessful love life, solitude/loneliness and also had sun in the 12th house.

"...Nietzsche would be just about as grateful to his rescuers as somebody who has jumped into the water to drown himself and has been pulled out by some fool of a coastguard. I have seen Nietzsche in states in which he seemed – horrible to say – as though he were only pretending to be mad, as though he were glad to have ended this way!” Peter Gast, The Madness of Nietzsche by Erich Podach

4. We the regulars = But we the regular, the common, the laymen people who cannot afford to be lost in the unconscious world, who have school/college/job, family/relations/marriage, money/food/shelter to take care - we need a foundation to navigate the material life alongside the spiritual life. Unless you are an ascetic sitting in a cave, browsing tumblr in your lunch break before the 10 hour meditation session, we know that you have a full life with many dimensions to take care of. And it is for those of us to learn to balance the material and spiritual life

5. Doing it alone = Whether a therapist or a family member or a friend or a loved one, anyone who can keep you grounded in the real world, bring you back to the daily life, keep you rational when you are losing touch with reality and guide you when you are losing track can be helpful. Though shadow work is a solitary process, we still need somebody else to give us objective judgment, tell whether we are biased in our judgment and guide us with their own wisdom and experience. This is why 4th/8th houses also deal with generations, ancestors, inheritance, history because it is only by standing upon the shoulder of the giants that you can make progress in your life. We may think we know it all intuitively/alone, but the more we learn the more we discover how little we know. "Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself." - Chanakya, Indian polymath

6. Psychic content is reality = I am very fond of this interview of Carl Jung. What Jung meant to say here is that the events of psyche are as real as the material life. For instance, if you celebrate your birthday on a certain date with your friends, you call it reality. But if you think about celebrating your birthday with your friends, you call it daydream and not reality. This is where Jung says that even the world in your mind is as real and valid as the world outside. So whether you celebrate your birthday in physical world or mental world, both are equally valid and real. So, when the mental world is as encompassing, satisfying and real as the physical world, it is very easy and tempting to spend your whole life in the mind. In the modern world, the addiction to social media, internet, video games and T.V. is similar to living in your mind (unless you are using technology to do your job and make money).

7. Being clueless and inexperienced = The baby witches often ask minute questions on spells, tools and energy. Do you work in coven or are you a solitary witch? Are you a family astrologer or the first in your family? Do you visit a psychologist or do your own therapy in your journal? If the answer to all these questions is the latter of the two, then you may have begun from a place where you were clueless, inexperienced and confused. Perhaps you learned from trial and error, perhaps you did hours of research, perhaps you felt like you were not meant for it, but what we do know is that being clueless and inexperienced in the world of the unconscious can have serious drawbacks and dangers. The most dangerous is the mental and emotional impact of practices that do not make your life better rather pull you in a rut.

8. Solutions = Solutions are very simple, so simple that we may dismiss it, but learning to keep a balance between material life (school/college/self care/job/ family/responsibilities) and the spiritual life (shadow work/alchemy/exploring the unconscious/self actualization) is crucial. Next solution is to be able to identify the psychic contents with mindfulness and living in the present moment - this comes with practice, perhaps months or years of practice before one can calm down the restlessness to stay mindful. Next solution is to really understand your mental process. Mind is a beautiful thing, do not deal with it lightly. Just like you would arrange, clean, organize, beautify your physical space, you also have to arrange, organize and keep your mental space neat and clean. Next solution is to what I mentioned earlier in a post to keep marking mistakes and correct decisions for yourself, to use reasoning, logic, common sense, decision making, routine (rather than be emotional thinker, magical thinker, impulsive and reckless). In short, think BEFORE you act and not the vice versa. The exploration of the unconscious is systematic and organized, it is not careless and impulsive.

9. Conclusion = So, if you are a first generation astrologer or witch or healer or trauma cycle breaker, be very vigilant of your limits and structure. I have written about psychosis before which can induce when the native is not mentally prepared for the psychological adventure of healing and actualization. Psychoanalysis, spiritual practices and occult practices are parallels to each other and if you feel like you are called into any of these interests, please make sure you have your physical life in order, lest you want to reach rock bottom again and again. I am speaking from experience that being first time clueless healer, psychoanalysis made my life even more complicated instead of magically improving it. I thought I had hit rock bottom in physical life but I did not know yet that even rock bottom has a basement that I hit with clueless psychoanalysis and spiritual practices. It was like this diagram for me:

It felt like I was making great progress with shadow work and psychoanalysis, it felt like I hit the jackpot and all my problems would be explained/solved but it took me a lot of time to realize that it takes immense responsibility to tackle the world of the unconscious and it is not mere for fun and games, rather it can really disturb your life and make you dysfunctional in the material world.

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libbee

2 years ago

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Last update: 24/4/24 | 🌼 If you want to tip me: PayPal link

About me: Libbee is dedicated to occult, mysticism, depth psychology and other interests. It is my hobby. If you are facing any mental health issue or emotional crisis, please consult someone you trust in real life or a professional. 🌱Libbee is Vegan for the Animals.

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

🐟 Taurus ascendant/ 2nd house/ Taurus sun/moon/venus/mercury placements | 🐟 Aries ascendant/ 1st house/ Aries sun/moon/mercury/venus placements | 🐟Astro observations (October 2022: part 2) | 🐟 Astro observations (October 2022: part 1) | 🐟 astro notes about air signs | 🐟 astro notes about 8th house placements | 🐟 11th house placements/Aquarius placements | 🐟 venus in 8th house observations | 🐟 emotional people/Scorpio/cancer/pisces/4th/8th/12th house placements | 🐟 men with moon in 3rd house | 🐟 many people in one body | 🐟 scorpio rising/sun/moon: i am my own worst enemy | 🐟 gemini/libra/moon in 3rd house: tone down the mind games | 🐟 My astrology observations Part 1 (Feb 2023) | 🐟 sun in 1st/7th/8th/12th; venus in 8th/12th; venus in scorpio, sun in pisces

DOOR TO THE 8TH HOUSE

TRANSFORMATION POSTS FOR 8TH HOUSERS

DOOR TO THE 7TH HOUSE

🌊 thoughts on 7th house placements | 🌊7th-8th house vedic astro relationship nexus | 🌊 Mercury in 7th house/Mercury in Libra/Mercury in 7th house from natal moon and "Tendency for Competitive Intelligence" | 🌊 sun in 7th house placements and low self esteem | 🌊 What is down there in the 7th house?

DOOR TO THE 12TH HOUSE

🐟 Humor

SELF DEVELOPMENT SERIES

PSYCHOLOGY

🐠 projection and astrology | 🐠 Understanding 8th house with Jungian psychology | 🐠 Are water placements (cancer, scorpio, pisces) the best ones to have?

ROMANTIC ASTRO

⛵ Falling in love as a water dominant native |⛵ About a water lover | ⛵ About air lovers

ASTRO AND LITERATURE/CINEMA

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libbee

2 years ago

My 8th house transformation notes:

You dont remember the past you anymore because you have gradually healed and changed. Intuition, synchronicity, occult tools, dream symbolism, inner knowledge are your methods for healing and transformation. But this change is not sudden like the nature of 8th house. It is rather slow, gradual and blending into each other. It is like fixing your self esteem issues then slowly learning to handle negative emotions then learning to change destructive and dysfunctional thought pattern then learning to destroy previously held beliefs and ideals then seeing connection between psyche and people. In this way, you slowly heal before you know it.

Look at the above image. You go from violet to red slowly and the whole journey matters, each step matters.

2. You become fearless. You have a knowing that whatever happens is meant to happen so taking career risks is a brave decision. You feel different from the mainstream idea of youth, people, life. It is like most people in the world are so unaware of the self and soul, they are so detached from their emotional lives, it is like the world is upside down to you. You have no problem keeping to yourself because you dont long for social validation and acceptance. This is where the stereotype of mysterious persona comes from.

3. "Thinking is hard that's why most people judge". You have incredible patience and tolerance for problematic people because you see through their fake performance and see the emotional suffering they suffer to feel powerful over others, overcome their insecurity by cheap means, embarrassing themselves by thinking their tricks are working. Oddly, you feel sympathy and compassion for them.

4. With all the thinking, contemplation, self development arises a sense of self. Your self image is much stable. Transformation is a humbling process, it really awakens you that there is some higher power who knows everything for some reason somehow. With this awareness, you search for meaning in life. Some might become passionately devoted to a craft, work, skill, art, worship. While you might be a chaotic mess before, now you feel like a wise sage. You have really lived life, experienced the magic of being and know the "secrets" of life. Your presence is calming. You are conscious and self aware. You really know what you are doing. I am reminded of tarot card The Magician:

This is your persona, the shadow is the "bad people" you attracted in your life. You are now the lighter side of the magician that is: will to power over yourself, influence others positively, resourceful, skill, logic, intellect, have psychic powers, practitioner of occult. But you are also aware of the darker side that is: power over others, manipulation, greed, untrustworthiness, trickery, cunning, narcissism, liar, charlatan. You can recognize some of the people you met in your life in these keywords, can you? Friends/family/lovers/colleagues, anyone who showed a kind of revelation to you that what appears on surface is not the same as internal person.

Now you can see why you attracted a certain kind of people in your life who were your spiritual teachers. They were simply your shadow that you denied in yourself. With this knowledge, you are a whole person who is naturally called to do self actualization. There is no going back from here. But it is a journey you are excited to undertake. If you are really self aware, you would know you kind of put on a mask in social personality but in private you drop that mask to do inner work and be yourself with all the light and darkness.

5. When it comes to transformation, we hear things like "change your way of life". What it means is to change your habits, beliefs and thought patterns. Once the old system is destroyed, there is a void and that cannot sustain for too long. You immediately need a new system to hold your life in place otherwise that stage of dissolution can be really paralyzing. Like you are so sad and confused that you cannot leave your room, brush, bath, socialize, study, work.

To tell you an example, this is the skeletal system of a bird, it holds the bird's body upright, without this system the bird cannot fly, if a bone is fractured the bird is dysfunctional, if there is sickness the bird is in pain. Just like the body needs a system, we also need a system in daily mundane life. A routine, a structure, many many habits that are autonomous, thought processes to hold you up. This is the adult life where one is responsible for themselves and so they need a solid framework for their life. What habits you need to change is a personal journey but the habit must change.

6. Old impulses and temptations lack their lusture. The temptation to binge watch instagram reels? Nah, it just does not feel tempting. Temptation to binge eat 5000 kcal food? Nah, the temptation is gone. To tell you an example, it is compared to a dried raisin that has lost its juice so the old temptations are just not dopamine gratifying:

You have this sense of "I will not do or say anything that makes me feel ashamed of myself". "I will live my life by my values and principles". "I will not be cringey, I will be a person people can rely upon". It is a strange feeling, you will feel it when the transformation happens in your life. My intention to write this post is that of validation of your feeling. Spiritual awakening is a really dark and confusing step. It is like this meme:

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

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libbee

2 years ago

About a water lover

Water men (sun in scorpio/sun in pisces/sun in cancer//sun in 4th/8th/12th house)

1. As authentic as it can get, they tell emotional truth, they tell what they feel, they tell what they think, exactly as it is, no artificial colours, as real as it can get. Often they are not interested in the material ends like money, power, status, but they are interested in the process and the work, since they are very self aware they like to observe themselves how they evolve and grow with effort and work. They need to put the effort to push their boundaries and really grow themselves, realize their potential. This is why, they focus on the process not the goal and once they reach the goal, they pick another goal and dedicate themselves to it.

2. Introverted nature, dont like crowded places, they question everything because they are not concerned with conformity. They will not pretend to be someone just to impress others, you dont like it? Please move on.

3. Want emotional security as much as possible. In relationship, material life, friendships, they want and give emotional security. It is about reciprocation, no hypocrisy. They are very concerned about their ethics and values. They cannot do or say anything that makes them feel ashamed of themselves or lose their self respect. There is core fear of abandonment which is balanced with relationships and friendships where they give a lot of emotional security because it also makes them feel emotionally secure in return.

4. They hide their undesirable emotions like anger, shame, insecurity and actively work on them. On the exterior they will appear cool like ice cube but when probed they show their anger which can be very dangerous and intense, so this appearance on outside can be illusory.

5. Prone to low confidence issue. Especially when sun is in water sign or house, it does not shine bright like in air or fire or earth. In water, sun is submerged and cold. Like a lava ball in Pacific, sun in water sign feels limitation in shining brightly in material world. To the contrary, this sun shines brightly in the spiritual world which makes them very self aware, emotionally intelligent and spiritually awakened. When sun is in the water sign or house, it illuminates what is underwater, spiritual, emotional; it illuminates the depths as opposed to the heights of the sky. It is very literal association but easy to understand this way if you look at this diagram:

6. They are all about depths and not the heights. But depths and heights are not too far away, as above so below-you know? The deeper you go, the higher you reach. It is about that enlightenment and awakening that society in general does not talk about and appears like a very niche group. For example, if other people are religious for community purpose, solidarity, practice etc then the native is religious because of its core philosophy, idealism, beliefs.

7. Aware of their mortality and not afraid of death. They want to live a life that they are prepared for death when it comes and are not ashamed of anything they did. This is another reason for their authenticity. They also prioritize mental peace over noise/music/sound because they are already acquainted with the chaos in their mind, they dont need any more of that.

8. Of course with the task of spiritual development, they need money, lifestyle and services too, they do not neglect the material life unless they are ascetic in which case Ketu the signification of detachment and separation comes into play.

9. Finally, there is not enough time in life to do self actualization. It is an endless journey, perhaps there is no end, perhaps death is not the end either. Water men know this and so they make the most of their time in life and strive to do as much self expression as possible.

Water men (moon in cancer/scorpio/pisces//moon in 4th/8th/12th houses)

1. Either very talkative or very reserved. When they talk, they appear like such extroverts but then can appear like introverts when they retreat to their solitude.

2. They think and feel or feel and think because both functions are interconnected. But it is not think or feel for them. Emotions are as important to them as reasoning.

3. What do women want in relationships? Emotional security; and who can give that? Water men. Emotional security is also guarantee for loyalty because they won't have sex with someone they are not emotionally connected with and interested in. Sex is not about adventure or power or confidence boost or ego stroke to them, sex is rather about surrender, transformation and dissolution to them. They want to dissolve in the arms of their lover, they want to merge and lose control. They want to exter that state between death and rebirth, where they are transformed and reborn. They crave that little rebirth.

4. Water men can be either immature or mature. Maturity does not mean perfection, maturity means self awareness. Maturity means if they make mistake, they are aware enough to identify it, accept it and correct it. Maturity does not mean that they are flawless and make no fuck ups, maturity means they have experience, wisdom and depth, something more than their age to show that they have lived a life.

5. Water men want water women because it is only them who can understand their nuances, desires, fears, complexity and needs. Who else can understand their needs? Fire will boil them and air will blow over them. Water will mix with water and earth will give them the bed of the ocean. I am associating symbols with zodiac signs because it makes them easy to understand since we are aware of the nature of elements.

6. Please dont try to befriend them if you are both not compatible. They are looking for friends who will not hurt them emotionally, who will keep them grounded and stable, who will understand their chaotic nature. A friend who understand you is an asset, he is more valuable than 100 people with buckets of gold. They really put effort into emotional bonding, they know the value of their time and that only those who are also willing and capable of bonding with them are welcome in their life. They know the effort and time it takes to create emotional bond, so they only do it with those who are worthy of it. This is why they are very selective in their social networking and prefer few chosen ones only. This is also the reason for stereotype of being possessive because they dont want you to be adulterated by someone else, they dont want someone else to influence you, they dont want someone else to create bond with you. You are a canvas and they are the artist. You are their painting and theirs only, okay? And this service is reciprocal, they are yours and yours only, okay? Promise? It is a mixture of innocence and insecurities but the right person will understand. In case of an immature water man, this possessiveness can be toxic and pathological, but in case of mature water man, it is authenticity and surrender. "You are my painting and mine only":

7. What is this emotional bonding that I speak of? It is your thoughts aligning with their, your ideas resembling them, your traits similar to them. It shows you are a reliable person, someone they can rely on in danger and weakness. Someone who will stand by them in dark times and not run away in cowardice. Someone who will give them as much as they take. It can a very passionate and mentally peaceful bonding. Passionate because emotional moon and peaceful because they are striving to give you security.

8. Why are they so loyal and faithful? Because sex is not really about pleasure, it is about confidence, power. We somehow think that somebody who has sex with a lot of people does it because they love orgasm and pleasures but it is not really about that. Only that person can love who knows how to love, otherwise it is just for confidence boosting and to feel powerful. Since water people are the only ones who truly know how to lose control and surrender, they are the only ones who can make love for the sake of love. Water people are the only ones who can set aside their insecurities and fears, and make love just for the ritual and pleasure of it. I don't know why someone who does not have a water placement will claim to know what it feels like to make love.

"Love is like God; both give themselves only to their bravest knights" - Carl Jung.

Note = A birthchart also has other inner planets and placements that can influence the overall personality and preference of the man. I am confident this post will resonate with most water placements but if something doesn't click please avoid accepting that.

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libbee

2 years ago

In this corner of the world: in pictures.

Suzu Urano is definitely a pisces moon. She lives in drawings, nature and daydreams. "How did it all happen so fast? Was I sleepwalking?" She has a reputation for being forgetful, clumsy, distracted and not smart enough. But she makes very good paintings. She can paint rabbits in ocean. "I cannot hate the ocean anymore."

Suzu is married to a man who liked her when they were both kidnapped by a monster and she helped him escape by drawing stars and moon out of scrap paper. She draws the city architecture in her little drawing book.

Despite being a somewhat plain looking and mentally distracted girl, she has two lovers both of whom are very fond of her. One marries her while the other harbours his feelings for her in his heart even after years have passed.

Everywhere she goes, she draws something in her book or the street or the sky or her imagination. Perhaps she lives in her imagination of the real world, just how pisces placement is supposed to be, living in a world of make believe. When her city is raided by airplanes bombs, what she sees is paint brush strokes in the sky. She has the capacity to see art in tragedy.

But in one bomb attack, she loses her right arm. One can say, she lost her reality, for how can she live anymore if not in drawings and paintings? Life is just a black and white portrait to her from there on, it is not the palette of colours like the nature. Her painting and cooking are both inspired by nature, everyday colours, the forgotten herbs in the wall, fish/marine/ships and the taste of watermelon. Did you see marine ships? Those are the warships, but really they are just a very big fish, a very big fish.

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